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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
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How to act when people talk shit?
#4143633 - 05/06/05 06:28 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Hi Im having this really bad problem. Since I was a little kid people always seem to make fun of me. Everyday would be a nightmare as kids would bully me around. Now even to this day people love to talk shit to me and I am nothing but a nice person. I dont know what to say. It seems that when anyone who talks shit to me I never know how to act. I try to ignore them but that just makes it feel like Im letting them get away with it. Im also a pretty muscular guy and would think they would be more likely threatened by me. I dont understand I am a well open minded person and people still love to give me shit. I dont know what to do I mainly just say nothing. It really gives me bad anxiety, it makes me feel like everyone is out to hurt you. What should I do in situations like this? I dont want to fight, I would feel really bad about hurting someone...
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DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4143653 - 05/06/05 06:31 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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man, I'm in the same boat as you
but recently I've noticed that a lot of the shit I've taken in the past has paid off.
it's all about karma dude.
hang in there, don't compromise your values or let the demons get to you.
eventually you'll get your reward. Being a nice guy can seem like a thankless job, but in the end you win big time.
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SuperMario
Let me make yourave
Registered: 04/05/05
Posts: 592
Loc: Super Mario World
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4143657 - 05/06/05 06:32 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Nice guys finish dead last
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DoctorJ
Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,846
Loc: space
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: SuperMario]
#4143673 - 05/06/05 06:35 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
SuperMario said: Nice guys finish dead last
no, it only appears that way to those fools who think all that glitters is gold
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides
Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: DoctorJ]
#4143707 - 05/06/05 06:45 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
DoctorJ said: man, I'm in the same boat as you
but recently I've noticed that a lot of the shit I've taken in the past has paid off.
it's all about karma dude.
hang in there, don't compromise your values or let the demons get to you.
eventually you'll get your reward. Being a nice guy can seem like a thankless job, but in the end you win big time.
I couldn't agree more. If people don't like it, well fuck 'em....
And may I add that people who believe everything they hear are invariably idiots, so it's wise to consider the source of this shit talk....
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SawaziB
The Blonde Arab
Registered: 04/07/05
Posts: 30
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 18 years, 11 hours
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Le_Canard]
#4143935 - 05/06/05 07:55 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Hey I know exactly what your saying. Its just something you gotta deal with, I figure its just a mans nature to talk shit and rag on his buddies. I used to get worked up about it alot too and feel like knocking my freinds out, but I find if you just laugh it off and give them a taste of their own medicine all will be good. It just bothers me now when its people I dont know talk trash to me, then I wanna throw down. Haha
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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: SawaziB]
#4144012 - 05/06/05 08:23 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah that really pisses me off when someone talks shit when they dont even know your personality. Makes me want to shuv a 20 inch pole up there ass. I remember one time in high school my friend was giving me shit every single day. So much that I just couldnt take it anymore so then I loaded my fist directly into his face... pretty hard. Everyone was so surprised that I actually hit someone! He started crying and it made me feel like a god. Soon after I started feeling really bad and thought that I might of damaged him for life or something. The whole week I was really depressed. Plus he hated me now and It was just weird talking to him. The truth is I think fighting is actually being more of a pussy then not fighting at all. Fighting is just that weak automatic reaction people fallow. The true strong people have control over there automatic reaction and over there emotions/reality. Im just asking what I should do to get them to shut the fuck up without having to beat the shit out of them. My mind is incoming to much negativity and anxiety is a bad place to be.
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 7 months, 8 days
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4144082 - 05/06/05 08:45 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Dude you got to defend yourself. If you don't its really bad for your self esteem. You say your a muscular guy well start cracking some heads then. This is really the wrong question to ask on a pascifist board of hippies like this. Don't let people push you around and don't be a push over. Even if you can't fight its better for your self esteem to get an ass beating trying to defend yourself then not doing anything at all leave the turn the other cheek thing for jesus I mean look what happened to him.
-------------------- -QuantumMeltdown Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself. -Mark Twain "The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome Be lonesome and you will be free Live a lie and you will live to regret it That's what livin' is to me That's what livin' is to me" Jimmy Buffett
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 7 months, 8 days
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>>Im just asking what I should do to get them to shut the fuck up without having to beat the shit out of them. My mind is incoming to much negativity and anxiety is a bad place to be.>>
Dude morons that talk shit to people they don't know only understand violence.
-------------------- -QuantumMeltdown Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself. -Mark Twain "The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome Be lonesome and you will be free Live a lie and you will live to regret it That's what livin' is to me That's what livin' is to me" Jimmy Buffett
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Catalysis
EtherealEngineer
Registered: 04/23/02
Posts: 1,742
Last seen: 15 years, 8 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4144364 - 05/06/05 10:28 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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When you give them a response, open or not, you are just acknowledging that you think their opinion matters and you think they matter which they don't. When ever i start brooding about something that someone did to me, I just remember that these people are nothing to me and I am giving them way more credit than they deserve.
If it goes beyond just making you mad and effects you in other ways that are unacceptable, then you just beat the fuck out of them and thats that.
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freddurgan
Techgnostic
Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Catalysis]
#4144791 - 05/07/05 01:06 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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It's not about defending yourself man. Trust me I've been in your boat. I was the guy that took a lot of shit and I've dealt with it in many ways (except violence), but the best is the correct one.
Realize, and I mean seriously take to heart, that nobody can MAKE you feel any way. If they rag on you, and you get upset, they did not make you upset. YOU made YOU upset. They can't control your brain, only you can. It's your brain and your emotions. Once you see that, it doesn't matter if you get ragged on. Your self-worth is inherent and them ragging on you is their problem then, not yours. As soon as you take nothing they say as any measure of your self-worth, they will stop dead in their tracks, I promise you.
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StrandedVoyager
The People's Champ
Registered: 12/09/04
Posts: 3,236
Loc: (202)-456-1414 Call Me
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: freddurgan]
#4144806 - 05/07/05 01:12 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Laugh and walk away.
Seriously it works.
-------------------- Hi My god... it's full of stars...
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stefan
work in progress
Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4145077 - 05/07/05 03:41 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Just laugh about it and maybe make a 'smart' remark (not hatefull but funny) right back at them. In my experiance they soon don't find it interesting anymore when you do that. They probably keep doing it because you seem like an easy 'victim' that they can easily get to.
I had it too that people were making fun of me but I did what I wrote above and it works very good. imo that's the best way to deal with it. With fighting you are more likely to make enemies and ofcoarce fighting sucks. good luck
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JacquesCousteau
Being.
Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4145240 - 05/07/05 06:49 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Listen to DoctorJ, Stefan, and Freddurgan. ESPECIALLY freddurgan's post. Very insightful, very true. Once you realize you're the only one who truly dictates your emotional state, their power over you is completely lost and they will find someone else to unload on... someone who hasn't figured this out yet.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: DoctorJ]
#4145683 - 05/07/05 10:49 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
DoctorJ said: man, I'm in the same boat as you
but recently I've noticed that a lot of the shit I've taken in the past has paid off.
it's all about karma dude.
hang in there, don't compromise your values or let the demons get to you.
eventually you'll get your reward. Being a nice guy can seem like a thankless job, but in the end you win big time.
^^^^^
--------------------
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SuperLazy
As lazy as theycome
Registered: 09/16/03
Posts: 509
Last seen: 15 years, 10 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4146032 - 05/07/05 11:55 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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I can't say I've ever really had that problem, but I know plenty of people who have. As far as those guys who rag on ya- fuck em, they're not worth the air they breathe most likely. Still, I understand how great the pressure can be, the only real advice I would give you is strength in numbers man-- seriously, meet some new people, make some friends, I mean cuz you'd be amazed how unlikely those people are to fuck with someone who has people that support him around. And hell, even if they do, at least you won't be alone. I don't know your social situation but I can tell you there's nothing like having your friends back you up. Hope things work out for ya
-------------------- " Don't ration your compassion " - unknown
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ImOver18
FormerlyMr.Sleep
Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 763
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: DoctorJ]
#4146257 - 05/07/05 12:26 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
DoctorJ said: man, I'm in the same boat as you
but recently I've noticed that a lot of the shit I've taken in the past has paid off.
it's all about karma dude.
hang in there, don't compromise your values or let the demons get to you.
eventually you'll get your reward. Being a nice guy can seem like a thankless job, but in the end you win big time.
I agree completely.
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randomdude123456
-
Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 317
Loc: -
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: freddurgan]
#4146716 - 05/07/05 01:40 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
freddurgan said: It's not about defending yourself man. Trust me I've been in your boat. I was the guy that took a lot of shit and I've dealt with it in many ways (except violence), but the best is the correct one.
Realize, and I mean seriously take to heart, that nobody can MAKE you feel any way. If they rag on you, and you get upset, they did not make you upset. YOU made YOU upset. They can't control your brain, only you can. It's your brain and your emotions. Once you see that, it doesn't matter if you get ragged on. Your self-worth is inherent and them ragging on you is their problem then, not yours. As soon as you take nothing they say as any measure of your self-worth, they will stop dead in their tracks, I promise you.
Incredibly true, this should be re-read by everybody until it is taken to heart.
-------------------- just think about the future.
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MrBump
Third prize is you're fired
Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 4,263
Loc: Denver, Colorado
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4149996 - 05/08/05 11:27 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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this may be a sophmoric reply but:
try learning how to rip on people back... a few smartly timed come-backs that stops the aggressor in his tracks and makes onlookers double over with laughter will make you less of a target. its a sad fact that people who constantly rip on others simply have extremely low self-esteem and use "shit talking" as a crutch. while its admirable that you, a muscular person, wouldnt want their words to lead to your cracking some heads, its possible that these people also know that and feel your a good target for thier game. so break that crutch by ripping on their flaws or shortcomings...sure, you may be a good person and you may feel guilty for cutting too deep or stooping to their level, but hey...they started it. if your not quick-witted enough to think up a clever comeback, just listen to some standup comics or something along those lines and steal their material.
-------------------- If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all. There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn. Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
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nonoman
ambassador
Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: the wood
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4150300 - 05/08/05 01:02 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
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Don't be a doormat for anyone. You actually don't have to crack that many heads, word gets around.
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