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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
How to act when people talk shit?
    #4143633 - 05/06/05 06:28 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Hi Im having this really bad problem. Since I was a little kid people always seem to make fun of me. Everyday would be a nightmare as kids would bully me around. Now even to this day people love to talk shit to me and I am nothing but a nice person. I dont know what to say. It seems that when anyone who talks shit to me I never know how to act. I try to ignore them but that just makes it feel like Im letting them get away with it. Im also a pretty muscular guy and would think they would be more likely threatened by me. I dont understand I am a well open minded person and people still love to give me shit. I dont know what to do I mainly just say nothing. It really gives me bad anxiety, it makes me feel like everyone is out to hurt you. What should I do in situations like this? I dont want to fight, I would feel really bad about hurting someone...

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OfflineDoctorJ
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4143653 - 05/06/05 06:31 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

man, I'm in the same boat as you

but recently I've noticed that a lot of the shit I've taken in the past has paid off.

it's all about karma dude.

hang in there, don't compromise your values or let the demons get to you.

eventually you'll get your reward. Being a nice guy can seem like a thankless job, but in the end you win big time.

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InvisibleSuperMario
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Registered: 04/05/05
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4143657 - 05/06/05 06:32 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Nice guys finish dead last  :bitch:



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OfflineDoctorJ
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: SuperMario]
    #4143673 - 05/06/05 06:35 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

SuperMario said:
Nice guys finish dead last  :bitch:






no, it only appears that way to those fools who think all that glitters is gold  :wink:

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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #4143707 - 05/06/05 06:45 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
man, I'm in the same boat as you

but recently I've noticed that a lot of the shit I've taken in the past has paid off.

it's all about karma dude.

hang in there, don't compromise your values or let the demons get to you.

eventually you'll get your reward. Being a nice guy can seem like a thankless job, but in the end you win big time.




I couldn't agree more. If people don't like it, well fuck 'em....

And may I add that people who believe everything they hear are invariably idiots, so it's wise to consider the source of this shit talk....

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OfflineSawaziB
The Blonde Arab
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4143935 - 05/06/05 07:55 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Hey I know exactly what your saying. Its just something you gotta deal with, I figure its just a mans nature to talk shit and rag on his buddies. I used to get worked up about it alot too and feel like knocking my freinds out, but I find if you just laugh it off and give them a taste of their own medicine all will be good. It just bothers me now when its people I dont know talk trash to me, then I wanna throw down. Haha

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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: SawaziB]
    #4144012 - 05/06/05 08:23 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Yeah that really pisses me off when someone talks shit when they dont even know your personality. Makes me want to shuv a 20 inch pole up there ass. I remember one time in high school my friend was giving me shit every single day. So much that I just couldnt take it anymore so then I loaded my fist directly into his face... pretty hard. Everyone was so surprised that I actually hit someone! He started crying and it made me feel like a god. Soon after I started feeling really bad and thought that I might of damaged him for life or something. The whole week I was really depressed. Plus he hated me now and It was just weird talking to him. The truth is I think fighting is actually being more of a pussy then not fighting at all. Fighting is just that weak automatic reaction people fallow. The true strong people have control over there automatic reaction and over there emotions/reality. Im just asking what I should do to get them to shut the fuck up without having to beat the shit out of them. My mind is incoming to much negativity and anxiety is a bad place to be.

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OfflineQuantumMeltdown
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4144082 - 05/06/05 08:45 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Dude you got to defend yourself. If you don't its really bad for your self esteem. You say your a muscular guy well start cracking some heads then. This is really the wrong question to ask on a pascifist board of hippies like this. Don't let people push you around and don't be a push over. Even if you can't fight its better for your self esteem to get an ass beating trying to defend yourself then not doing anything at all leave the turn the other cheek thing for jesus I mean look what happened to him.


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-QuantumMeltdown

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
  -Mark Twain

"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters  hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett

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OfflineQuantumMeltdown
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
    #4144089 - 05/06/05 08:48 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

>>Im just asking what I should do to get them to shut the fuck up without having to beat the shit out of them. My mind is incoming to much negativity and anxiety is a bad place to be.>>

Dude morons that talk shit to people they don't know only understand violence.


--------------------
-QuantumMeltdown

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
  -Mark Twain

"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters  hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett

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OfflineCatalysis
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4144364 - 05/06/05 10:28 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

When you give them a response, open or not, you are just acknowledging that you think their opinion matters and you think they matter which they don't. When ever i start brooding about something that someone did to me, I just remember that these people are nothing to me and I am giving them way more credit than they deserve.

If it goes beyond just making you mad and effects you in other ways that are unacceptable, then you just beat the fuck out of them and thats that.

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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Catalysis]
    #4144791 - 05/07/05 01:06 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

It's not about defending yourself man. Trust me I've been in your boat. I was the guy that took a lot of shit and I've dealt with it in many ways (except violence), but the best is the correct one.

Realize, and I mean seriously take to heart, that nobody can MAKE you feel any way. If they rag on you, and you get upset, they did not make you upset. YOU made YOU upset. They can't control your brain, only you can. It's your brain and your emotions. Once you see that, it doesn't matter if you get ragged on. Your self-worth is inherent and them ragging on you is their problem then, not yours. As soon as you take nothing they say as any measure of your self-worth, they will stop dead in their tracks, I promise you.


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Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

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OfflineStrandedVoyager
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: freddurgan]
    #4144806 - 05/07/05 01:12 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Laugh and walk away.

Seriously it works.


--------------------
Hi  :scrambled:

My god... it's full of stars...

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Offlinestefan
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4145077 - 05/07/05 03:41 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Just laugh about it and maybe make a 'smart' remark (not hatefull but funny) right back at them. In my experiance they soon don't find it interesting anymore when you do that. They probably keep doing it because you seem like an easy 'victim' that they can easily get to.

I had it too that people were making fun of me but I did what I wrote above and it works very good. imo that's the best way to deal with it. With fighting you are more likely to make enemies and ofcoarce fighting sucks.
good luck :sun:

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OfflineJacquesCousteau
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4145240 - 05/07/05 06:49 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Listen to DoctorJ, Stefan, and Freddurgan. ESPECIALLY freddurgan's post. Very insightful, very true. Once you realize you're the only one who truly dictates your emotional state, their power over you is completely lost and they will find someone else to unload on... someone who hasn't figured this out yet.

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InvisibleDark_Star
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #4145683 - 05/07/05 10:49 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
man, I'm in the same boat as you

but recently I've noticed that a lot of the shit I've taken in the past has paid off. 

it's all about karma dude.

hang in there, don't compromise your values or let the demons get to you. 

eventually you'll get your reward.  Being a nice guy can seem like a thankless job, but in the end you win big time.



^^^^^ :thumbup:


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OfflineSuperLazy
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4146032 - 05/07/05 11:55 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I can't say I've ever really had that problem, but I know plenty of people who have. As far as those guys who rag on ya- fuck em, they're not worth the air they breathe most likely. Still, I understand how great the pressure can be, the only real advice I would give you is strength in numbers man-- seriously, meet some new people, make some friends, I mean cuz you'd be amazed how unlikely those people are to fuck with someone who has people that support him around. And hell, even if they do, at least you won't be alone. I don't know your social situation but I can tell you there's nothing like having your friends back you up. Hope things work out for ya :peace:


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" Don't ration your compassion " - unknown

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InvisibleImOver18
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Registered: 10/05/03
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #4146257 - 05/07/05 12:26 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

DoctorJ said:
man, I'm in the same boat as you

but recently I've noticed that a lot of the shit I've taken in the past has paid off.

it's all about karma dude.

hang in there, don't compromise your values or let the demons get to you.

eventually you'll get your reward. Being a nice guy can seem like a thankless job, but in the end you win big time.




I agree completely.

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Offlinerandomdude123456
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: freddurgan]
    #4146716 - 05/07/05 01:40 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

freddurgan said:
It's not about defending yourself man. Trust me I've been in your boat. I was the guy that took a lot of shit and I've dealt with it in many ways (except violence), but the best is the correct one.

Realize, and I mean seriously take to heart, that nobody can MAKE you feel any way. If they rag on you, and you get upset, they did not make you upset. YOU made YOU upset. They can't control your brain, only you can. It's your brain and your emotions. Once you see that, it doesn't matter if you get ragged on. Your self-worth is inherent and them ragging on you is their problem then, not yours. As soon as you take nothing they say as any measure of your self-worth, they will stop dead in their tracks, I promise you.




Incredibly true, this should be re-read by everybody until it is taken to heart.


--------------------
just think about the future.

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OfflineMrBump
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4149996 - 05/08/05 11:27 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

this may be a sophmoric reply but:

try learning how to rip on people back... a few smartly timed come-backs that stops the aggressor in his tracks and makes onlookers double over with laughter will make you less of a target. its a sad fact that people who constantly rip on others simply have extremely low self-esteem and use "shit talking" as a crutch. while its admirable that you, a muscular person, wouldnt want their words to lead to your cracking some heads, its possible that these people also know that and feel your a good target for thier game. so break that crutch by ripping on their flaws or shortcomings...sure, you may be a good person and you may feel guilty for cutting too deep or stooping to their level, but hey...they started it.
if your not quick-witted enough to think up a clever comeback, just listen to some standup comics or something along those lines and steal their material.


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If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

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Offlinenonoman
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4150300 - 05/08/05 01:02 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Don't be a doormat for anyone. You actually don't have to crack that many heads, word gets around.


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OfflineKalix
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: MrBump]
    #4150569 - 05/08/05 03:41 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

  I agree with the cornking. Work on your own smartass skills, and burn them about their insecurities, and obvious social ineptness. If that doesn't work there's always avoidance, or violence :smile: Do what feels right.


--------------------


My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Shotgun of Sweet Reason

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OfflineBoneMan
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Kalix]
    #4150626 - 05/08/05 04:00 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

i know a lot of people who talk shit and make fun of people for no reason.
i think its because they like to see that they can affect people, and just try to get a response out of them. theres this one dude i know, and i swear to god it makes him happy to make other people feel bad. like he'll make a girl cry by saying terrible shit about her, and then hang up the phone and laugh hysterically. fucked up, i know. (the funny part is that the girl keeps coming back to him. somehow being mean to girls makes them attracted to you)

i think the bottom line is its some childish need for attention or control. and since they would never consider doing something nice to get a response out of you, they choose the easiest option: talkin shit

avoid these people, don't give them ur attention and dont let them see that they have control over how you feel.

and if they keep on doing it i suggest punching them in the face and telling them to leave you the fuck alone. unless of course its a big jacked dude who's only pushing your buttons to provoke a fight, during which he'll stomp your brains out.

dont fuck with those guys.

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Invisiblelooner2
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: BoneMan]
    #4151005 - 05/08/05 07:00 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Always assume someone is joking with you when they talk shit. Just be quick and hit them back with a response equal to the level of their "insult" in a funny, JOKING way. The first one to let it bother them, loses. Good friends won't do this that often and when they do its harmless, assholes will do it with greater severity.


--------------------
I am in love with Acidic_Sloth


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InvisibleAdden
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4151014 - 05/08/05 07:04 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

I dont want to fight




Then man up! Someone talks shit to me they'll be seeing the dentist or an orthopedic.

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Invisiblep4kSouL
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Adden]
    #4152034 - 05/08/05 11:35 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Hahaha thanks everyone! So yeah I dont want to fight unless I have to, also I will never let them know it is hurting me. Anyway as some of you said is coming up with COME BACKS. Now I extremely suck at that. My mind just doesn't think fast enough for comebacks. I just get mad and my only come back is "SHUTUP MAN!". Is there anyway I could do to get good at learning combacks? Any skills or experiences anyones gone through to help them with fast thinking? thecornking said about watching stand up comedy. I want to get good at this! Maybe if I practicing some flowing to get my mind thinking quickly?

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Offlinenonoman
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4152556 - 05/09/05 05:52 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

What kind of insults do they use? Please give examples....


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Offlinestefan
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: BoneMan]
    #4152598 - 05/09/05 06:54 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

BoneMan said:
i know a lot of people who talk shit and make fun of people for no reason.
i think its because they like to see that they can affect people, and just try to get a response out of them.



I think it's because they're probably insecure about themselves and try to hide it that way

Quote:

freddurgan said:
It's not about defending yourself man. Trust me I've been in your boat. I was the guy that took a lot of shit and I've dealt with it in many ways (except violence), but the best is the correct one.

Realize, and I mean seriously take to heart, that nobody can MAKE you feel any way. If they rag on you, and you get upset, they did not make you upset. YOU made YOU upset. They can't control your brain, only you can. It's your brain and your emotions. Once you see that, it doesn't matter if you get ragged on. Your self-worth is inherent and them ragging on you is their problem then, not yours. As soon as you take nothing they say as any measure of your self-worth, they will stop dead in their tracks, I promise you.



I don't completely agree. If I were in full control of my emotions I would be happy 100% of the time and this isn't the case. You are in control of your emotions to a certain degree but definitely not completely.

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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: nonoman]
    #4153384 - 05/09/05 12:50 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

nonoman said:
What kind of insults do they use? Please give examples....




Like "Your gay", "FAGGOT" and also interrupting and telling me "NO ONE CARES" . Those are just some examples.

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Offlinenonoman
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4156346 - 05/10/05 05:45 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

You're gay, faggot: "Yeah, yer dad likes it. Btw, he says you can call me "uncle p4kSoul" now." or " Now you know why yer dad walks funny for a while after I leave your house."

NO ONE CARES:"Yer girl/mom does!"

These should get your ideas flowing.

I just rented a DVD from Blockbuster called "Street Snaps". Haven't watched it yet, but I'll bet there's tons of material you could use.

Let us know how things go.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: stefan]
    #4182297 - 05/16/05 01:08 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

I don't completely agree. If I were in full control of my emotions I would be happy 100% of the time and this isn't the case. You are in control of your emotions to a certain degree but definitely not completely.




If we lack control over our emotional states, does that release us from responsibility for them? IMO the path to take is not to develop the "skills" these verbally and emotionally abusive people are demonstrating, but to develop the ability to take full responsibility for our experience of life. If you do not enjoy the experience of being abused, it is possible to respond in an assertive manner without violating your personal values. You could, for example, state as clearly and calmly as you can "I truly dislike it when you call me a faggot, and I will choose to avoid you if you continue to offend me." I realize that this sounds more like Mr. Spock than any human you're likely to meet, but you'd be amazed at the effect this can have! Of course, you need to be willing to follow up on your intention to avoid them if they do not respect your wishes. No one has the right to abuse you. You have the right to state your preferences and to avoid people who do not treat you with respect.

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InvisibleNoetical
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Veritas]
    #4196491 - 05/19/05 04:00 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Confront one of the guys by themselves when you're are sure he'll be alone, say what ever you need to say. He'll have nobody to impress so it might work.

If it continues confront him again before he has a chance to do anything punch him in the throat or the nose as hard as you can. Then go to town.

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Invisiblemantis
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4198646 - 05/20/05 08:23 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

A smart-ass comeback can always put them in their place :shrug:

If they're ragging on you about stupid shit then it shouldn't be too hard to think of one. If not, then maybe you should stop associating with those assholes.


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Offlinenonoman
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Noetical]
    #4199473 - 05/20/05 12:46 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

noeticbuzz said: punch him in the throat or the nose as hard as you can. Then go to town.




:thumbup:


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OfflineXUL
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4203575 - 05/21/05 01:22 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

i like to carry a mac 10 on my hip.,.,,. just incase of any shiii i get from shmiscuts.,., if u know wat i mean

shiiyi


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TRUMP 2020

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Offlinefreddurgan
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: stefan]
    #4208186 - 05/22/05 09:26 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

stefan said:
Quote:

freddurgan said:
It's not about defending yourself man. Trust me I've been in your boat. I was the guy that took a lot of shit and I've dealt with it in many ways (except violence), but the best is the correct one.

Realize, and I mean seriously take to heart, that nobody can MAKE you feel any way. If they rag on you, and you get upset, they did not make you upset. YOU made YOU upset. They can't control your brain, only you can. It's your brain and your emotions. Once you see that, it doesn't matter if you get ragged on. Your self-worth is inherent and them ragging on you is their problem then, not yours. As soon as you take nothing they say as any measure of your self-worth, they will stop dead in their tracks, I promise you.




I don't completely agree. If I were in full control of my emotions I would be happy 100% of the time and this isn't the case. You are in control of your emotions to a certain degree but definitely not completely.




Well I'm going to have to disagree again. You are defenitely the only one who controls your own emotions but that doesn't mean we know how to do it right away. Culture is incredibly outward oriented and learning to control your own emotions takes practice. It's just like physical exercise, but mental. You can't just be a world class gymnist in a day. Takes practice, just like controlling your own emotions.


--------------------
Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

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OfflineHugh_Jass
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: freddurgan]
    #4214521 - 05/24/05 02:18 PM (18 years, 10 months ago)

Im finally beginning to feel like I honestly don't care what most other people think of me, I always wanted to be like that but could never quite say it truly. I would tell myself that I didn't care but the truth was I had no confidence or self esteem.

I used to feel caught between being quite and trying to be a person that everyone liked or making a stand even if that meant some people wouldn't like me. People talk about other people all day long, there's nothing you can do to stop it, just not waste any time worrying about it.

I think the comeback joke is the best way to handle these things. I'm totally the same in the sense that my mind is 'slow' coming back when insulted or anything, I've always been a very quite person. Only thing I can say is I think you get better at it with time when you start to build a bit of confidence.

I think maybe you should think about the people you are spending your time with, I have been in friendships when I was younger which turned into a lot of just putting each other down in a nasty way, one minute the they'd be you best friend the next thing they'd be putting you down in front of your friends. I try to spend as little time as possible with people like that anymore. Don't mistake real friends for people who are only using you.

Places like work or school are difficult because you have to spend time with these people, try avoiding the people who offend you the most (well I bet you already do). Every group seems to have one person that everyone else seems to bond over by bullying and bitching about, distance yourself from this person "guilty by association".

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OfflineHuckleBones
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Hugh_Jass]
    #4477475 - 07/31/05 02:41 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Any insults inolving sexual orientation should ALWAYS be taken lightly. Sounds like your attackers don't have much wit either if they are resulting to calling you gay. I mean, think about it, that's the first insult a 12 year old learns.


--------------------
Manitou

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InvisibleMushie_Man
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: HuckleBones]
    #4480430 - 08/01/05 09:45 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I get the same problem at times, I'm not the kind of person to out-speak someone or talk over them. I just tend to lay back and go with the flow of the environment/conversation. At times this leads to the conception that I'm an easy target, which most the time it am i guess. I'm not really quick with the smart-ass comebacks nor am i really that abusive. I just cut the crap and just ask them what there problem is, depending on their response you have your answer on how to resolve the issues at hand.

You can do it on different levels depending on how you want to come across: Aggressive "What the FUCK is your problem!? :enraged:"; Friendly "What makes you say that?  :confused:"; Hostile "What the fuck? :nonono: " etc. You can add a few looks in aswell for a little extra edge.


--------------------
Ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"

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OfflineBurning_Skies
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
    #5320370 - 02/20/06 03:40 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

QuantumMeltdown said:
Dude you got to defend yourself....This is really the wrong question to ask on a pascifist board of hippies like this.




he's right. I catch a TON of shit for just being me. Every one hates my music choices, my clothes, etc. I'm a pacifist and have expressed the opinion around school and in my day to day life. having a peace sign on every knuckle on my right hand has helped. I'm pretty muscular myself, but everyone is under the impression that just because I am 62 inches tall that means that they can give me shit and not get beat up. Now when I crack my knuckle, everybody knows what's supposedly coming to the next uncouthe bully. I am just bluffing now, but having knocked one guy to the ground in one hit seems to have put everyone else under the impression that I know who I am, where I'm going, and that I will stoop to your levl if you are immature and insecure enough to make fun of my moral convictions.

Just ignore them, but don't avoid them. Make sure that your friends know your beliefs and that you are set on your principles. When asked for suggestions about how to resolve conflict on a writing test or something, tell the truth about what you think and then make sure that the contents of that essay get around. I would say that you need to establish trust with the teachers, and make sure that they know what goes down, but without being whiny.

when someone finally gives you a touch too much, just calmly tell them that you don't enjoy conflict, and that often poeple only stoop to insults when they feel insecure. when/if they continue, stand up and deck 'em. don't leave the area, just go back to what you were doing. show no palpable emotion and when that guy wakes up, the shit you get'll be 1/4 or less of what it used to be. don't tell a teacher that you decked him, but don't deny it if caught. Use the defense of having lost the carefully kept control over yourself that you normally have. It adds to the calm, easured, pacifist psychopath image that your ememies will get but your fiends will know not to be true. If you've done the build-up right, teachers will buy this defense and you will get off scott-free or maybe have to do a lunch detention or write lines.

I got the peace signs on my knuckles so that any bully unfortunate enough to not know when to stop passes out having seen that going too far can cause people to go against their own beleifs. When I got in trouble for hitting the one guy, the teacher that busted me knew what I thought and sympathized, and so I served a lunch detention and wrote "When I have a problem with someone, I will ask them to stop"
50 times. The normal punishment for a knockout is 5 days in school suspension, 200 lines and a call home.

Just be confident and know yourself and it'll go down. making one example and then continuing the devout pacifist lifestyle will drop it furter, but carries risk. At least you get names and taunts thrown at you rather than that and elaborate practical jokes involving girlfriends, a bottle of soda and/or whoopee cushion, and the school intercom.

Peace, man.
                      .:'::peace::':.


--------------------
__________________________________________________
Any mistakes in the above are the fault of the reader and/or his dealer.

In the teachings of Zen, the beginner's mind is the most restful, the most aware. As we age, we lose that mind, the mind of the child. David Blaine once said "A little baby doesn't need magic, for it already lives in a world of astonishment, wonder, and discovery. For one fleeting moment, that is what magic does for the rest of us." Well, that is what psychedelics do for me, but over a longer period of time. So before you go regulating what I take into my body, keep that in mind.
I will break the laws of the ignorant bigots who seek to stop me from experiencing a higher conciousness.

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OfflineThe_Red_Crayon
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #5320504 - 02/20/06 04:11 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

When people talk shit to you just outwit them.

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Invisibleeligal
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: The_Red_Crayon]
    #5320956 - 02/20/06 06:02 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

The_Red_Crayon said:
When people talk shit to you just outwit them.






i prefer physical violence :thumbup:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."


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Offlinekotik
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: eligal]
    #5323128 - 02/21/06 07:20 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Just be quick and hit them back with a response equal to the level of their "insult" in a funny, JOKING way.




thats usually what I do. but i make an effort not to, because that could really just escalate the situation, and it "brings you down to their level" (sorry, i know weve all heard that since gradeschool)


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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OfflineSeussA
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
    #5323219 - 02/21/06 08:31 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

I haven't gone through all the replies, and I don't have any advice to offer on how to act, but I do have a recommendation: martial arts. The recommendation has absolutely nothing to do with fighting, body size, creating fear, etc. Instead, the recommendation is about self-respect and confidence. When you know that you are better than those that would belittle you, something unspoken comes across in body language. I don't know why, or how, but bullies pick up on this and will hunt for easier prey.


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.

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Offlinekotik
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Seuss]
    #5323748 - 02/21/06 11:40 AM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

When you know that you are better than those that would belittle you, something unspoken comes across in body language.




ya, that something unspoken would be arrogance  :blush:


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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OfflineDerelict
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: kotik]
    #5328615 - 02/22/06 04:48 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

Speak softly and carry a big stick. Quiet confidence can be intimidating.

Also, a good sense of humor helps.


--------------------
We are here on earth to fart around.
Don't let anybody tell you any different.
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OfflineHeffy
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: kotik]
    #5332190 - 02/23/06 04:05 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

"ya, that something unspoken would be arrogance"

I would call it confidence. People just don't intimidate me anymore regardless of whether they bother me or not. I'm just plain not scared of being hurt, because I know how dangerous I am.



If someone is ripping on you I usually just say "your mother" or whatever. It doesn't have to make sense it just has to be insulting. I usually use it as a question. Like if some guy says "you are fucking stupid...." or whatever I just say "stupid like your mother?" If they say "you are a pussy", say "I liked your moms pussy last night". It's a good way to shut people down.


--------------------
I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund

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Invisibleeligal
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Heffy]
    #5332366 - 02/23/06 05:21 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

or just blow a kiss to them


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."


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Offlinekotik
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: eligal]
    #5333480 - 02/23/06 10:24 PM (18 years, 1 month ago)

to be honest i dont hang around many people that talk shit all day, i am much too busy, and i surround myself with other people that stay busy.

it seems that shit talking comes mostly from boredom

but just responding with "your mother" makes you a dickhead, nothing more


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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OfflineBurning_Skies
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Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Seuss]
    #5367833 - 03/05/06 03:49 PM (18 years, 28 days ago)

Quote:

Seuss said:
I haven't gone through all the replies, and I don't have any advice to offer on how to act, but I do have a recommendation: martial arts. The recommendation has absolutely nothing to do with fighting, body size, creating fear, etc. Instead, the recommendation is about self-respect and confidence. When you know that you are better than those that would belittle you, something unspoken comes across in body language. I don't know why, or how, but bullies pick up on this and will hunt for easier prey.




Definitely, man. some people have implied that it is arrogance that comes across, but I agree with the people who say that quiet confidence is the unspoken quality. The idiot-bullies will figure that you'll kick their ass, even if you've said you won't, and thus leave you alone. On the other hand, the more intelligent bullies will know that it is worthless to pick on someone with those qualities and just leave you alone.

Figure out the idiot-to-intelligent bully ratio around you and come up with a strategy that matches that. The dumb bullies find a slow-tempered, fist-weilding person the best target until that person loses their temper once, and then leave them alone in a manner proportionate to the length of their fuse. The more intelligent bullies see that someone that devoted to non-action will not respond in a satisfying way to their insults, and go to find easier prey. As for the intelligent bullies who are personally jealous of you, they won't leave you alone until they have "won". That will either mean crushing your self-esteem under the toe of their boot, or you finding out how your behavior is encroaching on theor sense of self-worth and then stopping that behavior or helping them believe that it doesn't matter.

You don't want to get squished, so the second approach would need to be taken. They will resist opening up, especially to someone that they percieve as a threat to their self-worth, but once you have figured out how they feel threatened, perhaps by talking to their friends, or anyone that they have confided in who thinks that the issue should be resolved, you can confront them about it in a non-embarassing way next time they talk shit. That means that anyone whose opinion is very meaningful to them should not be within earshot, as they don't want their weaknesses exposed to those people. If you embarass them, they will hate you for it and you'll be on a never-ending guilt trip for what feels like an eternity.

The above method means talking about your and other people's feelings. if you aren't comfortable doing that, you can tough it out for as long as you can. The insecure, intelligent bullies are both the easiest and toughest to deal with, so I hope that you don't have to deal with many.

I apologize for the long posts, but that is just the (long-winded) way I comunicate.


--------------------
__________________________________________________
Any mistakes in the above are the fault of the reader and/or his dealer.

In the teachings of Zen, the beginner's mind is the most restful, the most aware. As we age, we lose that mind, the mind of the child. David Blaine once said "A little baby doesn't need magic, for it already lives in a world of astonishment, wonder, and discovery. For one fleeting moment, that is what magic does for the rest of us." Well, that is what psychedelics do for me, but over a longer period of time. So before you go regulating what I take into my body, keep that in mind.
I will break the laws of the ignorant bigots who seek to stop me from experiencing a higher conciousness.

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