|
Kalix
'Head
Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 1,504
Last seen: 18 years, 3 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: MrBump]
#4150569 - 05/08/05 03:41 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
I agree with the cornking. Work on your own smartass skills, and burn them about their insecurities, and obvious social ineptness. If that doesn't work there's always avoidance, or violence Do what feels right.
-------------------- My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Shotgun of Sweet Reason
|
BoneMan
Shrimpin ain't easy
Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 2,032
Loc: new new england
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Kalix]
#4150626 - 05/08/05 04:00 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
i know a lot of people who talk shit and make fun of people for no reason. i think its because they like to see that they can affect people, and just try to get a response out of them. theres this one dude i know, and i swear to god it makes him happy to make other people feel bad. like he'll make a girl cry by saying terrible shit about her, and then hang up the phone and laugh hysterically. fucked up, i know. (the funny part is that the girl keeps coming back to him. somehow being mean to girls makes them attracted to you)
i think the bottom line is its some childish need for attention or control. and since they would never consider doing something nice to get a response out of you, they choose the easiest option: talkin shit
avoid these people, don't give them ur attention and dont let them see that they have control over how you feel.
and if they keep on doing it i suggest punching them in the face and telling them to leave you the fuck alone. unless of course its a big jacked dude who's only pushing your buttons to provoke a fight, during which he'll stomp your brains out.
dont fuck with those guys.
|
looner2
ABBA fan
Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 3,849
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: BoneMan]
#4151005 - 05/08/05 07:00 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Always assume someone is joking with you when they talk shit. Just be quick and hit them back with a response equal to the level of their "insult" in a funny, JOKING way. The first one to let it bother them, loses. Good friends won't do this that often and when they do its harmless, assholes will do it with greater severity.
-------------------- I am in love with Acidic_Sloth
|
Adden
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc:
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4151014 - 05/08/05 07:04 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
I dont want to fight
Then man up! Someone talks shit to me they'll be seeing the dentist or an orthopedic.
|
p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Adden]
#4152034 - 05/08/05 11:35 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Hahaha thanks everyone! So yeah I dont want to fight unless I have to, also I will never let them know it is hurting me. Anyway as some of you said is coming up with COME BACKS. Now I extremely suck at that. My mind just doesn't think fast enough for comebacks. I just get mad and my only come back is "SHUTUP MAN!". Is there anyway I could do to get good at learning combacks? Any skills or experiences anyones gone through to help them with fast thinking? thecornking said about watching stand up comedy. I want to get good at this! Maybe if I practicing some flowing to get my mind thinking quickly?
|
nonoman
ambassador
Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: the wood
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4152556 - 05/09/05 05:52 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What kind of insults do they use? Please give examples....
--------------------
|
stefan
work in progress
Registered: 04/11/01
Posts: 8,932
Loc: The Netherlands
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: BoneMan]
#4152598 - 05/09/05 06:54 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
BoneMan said: i know a lot of people who talk shit and make fun of people for no reason. i think its because they like to see that they can affect people, and just try to get a response out of them.
I think it's because they're probably insecure about themselves and try to hide it that way
Quote:
freddurgan said: It's not about defending yourself man. Trust me I've been in your boat. I was the guy that took a lot of shit and I've dealt with it in many ways (except violence), but the best is the correct one.
Realize, and I mean seriously take to heart, that nobody can MAKE you feel any way. If they rag on you, and you get upset, they did not make you upset. YOU made YOU upset. They can't control your brain, only you can. It's your brain and your emotions. Once you see that, it doesn't matter if you get ragged on. Your self-worth is inherent and them ragging on you is their problem then, not yours. As soon as you take nothing they say as any measure of your self-worth, they will stop dead in their tracks, I promise you.
I don't completely agree. If I were in full control of my emotions I would be happy 100% of the time and this isn't the case. You are in control of your emotions to a certain degree but definitely not completely.
|
p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: nonoman]
#4153384 - 05/09/05 12:50 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
nonoman said: What kind of insults do they use? Please give examples....
Like "Your gay", "FAGGOT" and also interrupting and telling me "NO ONE CARES" . Those are just some examples.
|
nonoman
ambassador
Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: the wood
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4156346 - 05/10/05 05:45 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
You're gay, faggot: "Yeah, yer dad likes it. Btw, he says you can call me "uncle p4kSoul" now." or " Now you know why yer dad walks funny for a while after I leave your house."
NO ONE CARES:"Yer girl/mom does!"
These should get your ideas flowing.
I just rented a DVD from Blockbuster called "Street Snaps". Haven't watched it yet, but I'll bet there's tons of material you could use.
Let us know how things go.
--------------------
|
Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: stefan]
#4182297 - 05/16/05 01:08 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
I don't completely agree. If I were in full control of my emotions I would be happy 100% of the time and this isn't the case. You are in control of your emotions to a certain degree but definitely not completely.
If we lack control over our emotional states, does that release us from responsibility for them? IMO the path to take is not to develop the "skills" these verbally and emotionally abusive people are demonstrating, but to develop the ability to take full responsibility for our experience of life. If you do not enjoy the experience of being abused, it is possible to respond in an assertive manner without violating your personal values. You could, for example, state as clearly and calmly as you can "I truly dislike it when you call me a faggot, and I will choose to avoid you if you continue to offend me." I realize that this sounds more like Mr. Spock than any human you're likely to meet, but you'd be amazed at the effect this can have! Of course, you need to be willing to follow up on your intention to avoid them if they do not respect your wishes. No one has the right to abuse you. You have the right to state your preferences and to avoid people who do not treat you with respect.
|
Noetical
Flip Horrorshow
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 9,230
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Veritas]
#4196491 - 05/19/05 04:00 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Confront one of the guys by themselves when you're are sure he'll be alone, say what ever you need to say. He'll have nobody to impress so it might work.
If it continues confront him again before he has a chance to do anything punch him in the throat or the nose as hard as you can. Then go to town.
|
mantis
Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 5,235
Loc: Bunker Alpha, GMC
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4198646 - 05/20/05 08:23 AM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
A smart-ass comeback can always put them in their place
If they're ragging on you about stupid shit then it shouldn't be too hard to think of one. If not, then maybe you should stop associating with those assholes.
--------------------
|
nonoman
ambassador
Registered: 06/25/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: the wood
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Noetical]
#4199473 - 05/20/05 12:46 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
noeticbuzz said: punch him in the throat or the nose as hard as you can. Then go to town.
--------------------
|
XUL
OTD Janitor
Registered: 03/16/05
Posts: 28,261
Loc: America
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#4203575 - 05/21/05 01:22 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
i like to carry a mac 10 on my hip.,.,,. just incase of any shiii i get from shmiscuts.,., if u know wat i mean
shiiyi
--------------------
TRUMP 2020
|
freddurgan
Techgnostic
Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: stefan]
#4208186 - 05/22/05 09:26 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
stefan said:
Quote:
freddurgan said: It's not about defending yourself man. Trust me I've been in your boat. I was the guy that took a lot of shit and I've dealt with it in many ways (except violence), but the best is the correct one.
Realize, and I mean seriously take to heart, that nobody can MAKE you feel any way. If they rag on you, and you get upset, they did not make you upset. YOU made YOU upset. They can't control your brain, only you can. It's your brain and your emotions. Once you see that, it doesn't matter if you get ragged on. Your self-worth is inherent and them ragging on you is their problem then, not yours. As soon as you take nothing they say as any measure of your self-worth, they will stop dead in their tracks, I promise you.
I don't completely agree. If I were in full control of my emotions I would be happy 100% of the time and this isn't the case. You are in control of your emotions to a certain degree but definitely not completely.
Well I'm going to have to disagree again. You are defenitely the only one who controls your own emotions but that doesn't mean we know how to do it right away. Culture is incredibly outward oriented and learning to control your own emotions takes practice. It's just like physical exercise, but mental. You can't just be a world class gymnist in a day. Takes practice, just like controlling your own emotions.
|
Hugh_Jass
pantydealer
Registered: 04/25/02
Posts: 82
Loc: Northern Ireland
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: freddurgan]
#4214521 - 05/24/05 02:18 PM (18 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Im finally beginning to feel like I honestly don't care what most other people think of me, I always wanted to be like that but could never quite say it truly. I would tell myself that I didn't care but the truth was I had no confidence or self esteem.
I used to feel caught between being quite and trying to be a person that everyone liked or making a stand even if that meant some people wouldn't like me. People talk about other people all day long, there's nothing you can do to stop it, just not waste any time worrying about it.
I think the comeback joke is the best way to handle these things. I'm totally the same in the sense that my mind is 'slow' coming back when insulted or anything, I've always been a very quite person. Only thing I can say is I think you get better at it with time when you start to build a bit of confidence.
I think maybe you should think about the people you are spending your time with, I have been in friendships when I was younger which turned into a lot of just putting each other down in a nasty way, one minute the they'd be you best friend the next thing they'd be putting you down in front of your friends. I try to spend as little time as possible with people like that anymore. Don't mistake real friends for people who are only using you.
Places like work or school are difficult because you have to spend time with these people, try avoiding the people who offend you the most (well I bet you already do). Every group seems to have one person that everyone else seems to bond over by bullying and bitching about, distance yourself from this person "guilty by association".
|
HuckleBones
Danger Bones
Registered: 06/16/05
Posts: 385
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: Hugh_Jass]
#4477475 - 07/31/05 02:41 PM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Any insults inolving sexual orientation should ALWAYS be taken lightly. Sounds like your attackers don't have much wit either if they are resulting to calling you gay. I mean, think about it, that's the first insult a 12 year old learns.
-------------------- Manitou
|
Mushie_Man
Fuck Up
Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 889
Loc: UK
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: HuckleBones]
#4480430 - 08/01/05 09:45 AM (18 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I get the same problem at times, I'm not the kind of person to out-speak someone or talk over them. I just tend to lay back and go with the flow of the environment/conversation. At times this leads to the conception that I'm an easy target, which most the time it am i guess. I'm not really quick with the smart-ass comebacks nor am i really that abusive. I just cut the crap and just ask them what there problem is, depending on their response you have your answer on how to resolve the issues at hand.
You can do it on different levels depending on how you want to come across: Aggressive "What the FUCK is your problem!? "; Friendly "What makes you say that? "; Hostile "What the fuck? " etc. You can add a few looks in aswell for a little extra edge.
-------------------- Ecstacy got me standing next to you Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you We just met But I think I'm in love with you But you're on it too So you tell me you love me too Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"
|
Burning_Skies
Midnight toker
Registered: 02/18/06
Posts: 21
Loc: Denver
Last seen: 17 years, 11 months
|
|
Quote:
QuantumMeltdown said: Dude you got to defend yourself....This is really the wrong question to ask on a pascifist board of hippies like this.
he's right. I catch a TON of shit for just being me. Every one hates my music choices, my clothes, etc. I'm a pacifist and have expressed the opinion around school and in my day to day life. having a peace sign on every knuckle on my right hand has helped. I'm pretty muscular myself, but everyone is under the impression that just because I am 62 inches tall that means that they can give me shit and not get beat up. Now when I crack my knuckle, everybody knows what's supposedly coming to the next uncouthe bully. I am just bluffing now, but having knocked one guy to the ground in one hit seems to have put everyone else under the impression that I know who I am, where I'm going, and that I will stoop to your levl if you are immature and insecure enough to make fun of my moral convictions.
Just ignore them, but don't avoid them. Make sure that your friends know your beliefs and that you are set on your principles. When asked for suggestions about how to resolve conflict on a writing test or something, tell the truth about what you think and then make sure that the contents of that essay get around. I would say that you need to establish trust with the teachers, and make sure that they know what goes down, but without being whiny.
when someone finally gives you a touch too much, just calmly tell them that you don't enjoy conflict, and that often poeple only stoop to insults when they feel insecure. when/if they continue, stand up and deck 'em. don't leave the area, just go back to what you were doing. show no palpable emotion and when that guy wakes up, the shit you get'll be 1/4 or less of what it used to be. don't tell a teacher that you decked him, but don't deny it if caught. Use the defense of having lost the carefully kept control over yourself that you normally have. It adds to the calm, easured, pacifist psychopath image that your ememies will get but your fiends will know not to be true. If you've done the build-up right, teachers will buy this defense and you will get off scott-free or maybe have to do a lunch detention or write lines.
I got the peace signs on my knuckles so that any bully unfortunate enough to not know when to stop passes out having seen that going too far can cause people to go against their own beleifs. When I got in trouble for hitting the one guy, the teacher that busted me knew what I thought and sympathized, and so I served a lunch detention and wrote "When I have a problem with someone, I will ask them to stop" 50 times. The normal punishment for a knockout is 5 days in school suspension, 200 lines and a call home.
Just be confident and know yourself and it'll go down. making one example and then continuing the devout pacifist lifestyle will drop it furter, but carries risk. At least you get names and taunts thrown at you rather than that and elaborate practical jokes involving girlfriends, a bottle of soda and/or whoopee cushion, and the school intercom.
Peace, man. .:'::':.
-------------------- __________________________________________________ Any mistakes in the above are the fault of the reader and/or his dealer. In the teachings of Zen, the beginner's mind is the most restful, the most aware. As we age, we lose that mind, the mind of the child. David Blaine once said "A little baby doesn't need magic, for it already lives in a world of astonishment, wonder, and discovery. For one fleeting moment, that is what magic does for the rest of us." Well, that is what psychedelics do for me, but over a longer period of time. So before you go regulating what I take into my body, keep that in mind. I will break the laws of the ignorant bigots who seek to stop me from experiencing a higher conciousness.
|
The_Red_Crayon
Exposer of Truth
Registered: 08/13/03
Posts: 13,673
Loc: Smokey Mtns. TN
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
|
Re: How to act when people talk shit? [Re: p4kSouL]
#5320504 - 02/20/06 04:11 PM (18 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
When people talk shit to you just outwit them.
|
|