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Invisiblevandago
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Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,928
Loc: .
Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. * 5
    #21562147 - 04/18/15 02:32 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

It's been a long fucking week.  I don't feel like doing a damn thing. 


I just want to walk through the woods and find like....mushrooms....or deer sheddings....or scrap copper......not coolers full of dismembered body parts.

And I had to go sleep with a woman twice my age and 10 years older then my mom....I'm sure this is going to progress nicely. Of course on my way to her house I blew a tire in the van I just bought....and of course fixed it and kept going......she really seemed like she needed someone.

Then somehow I go to work yesterday and everything important is gone from my wallet.....luckily I had no money in it...but whoever saw it laying somewhere took all my cards out......fuckers gonna steal my free gas.



On a lighter note......I'd really like more friends so I wasn't wandering around the woods alone, driving to 58 year old womens houses for pussy, and consistently having things taken from me.....but that would entail going back in time and performing a lobotomy on myself and not being such a fucking dick.....All of this is still better the being psychotic on ketamine thinking I was the reincarnation of jesus, hitler, Khan, buddha, and I was really a cyborg with a synthetic heart that was only pumping blood to grow GMO organs that the aliens were going to harvest from me when I was doing really good.


Fuck star trek.


This week was just wild.....so it's all I am gonna finish that with.


Fuck star trek.

Edited by vandago (04/18/15 02:39 AM)

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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: vandago]
    #21562174 - 04/18/15 03:01 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

old friend, you have some stories - that's for damn sure.  some truly unique shit comin' out of your experience on this earth; chalk it up to life~

:thumbup:

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Offliner00tuuu123
Now I'm just really piseed
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Registered: 04/20/12
Posts: 8,507
Loc: I'll be there in a minute
Last seen: 8 years, 23 days
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: vandago]
    #21562185 - 04/18/15 03:08 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:


And I had to go sleep with a woman twice my age and 10 years older then my mom.


  Had to? :hmm: Sounds like Oedipus complex to me. :lol:


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:kingcrankey: Please report me to a Mod for hurting your punk ass hippie feelings :flipthebird: And all time Champion thread killer.:thatsayes:

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OfflineMichAnon.ael
Dark Stranger
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Registered: 12/15/14
Posts: 892
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: r00tuuu123]
    #21562229 - 04/18/15 03:58 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Who ever said there was anything wrong with walking in the woods alone!?!?
we love you, op
fuck star trek

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Offlinefapjack
Title
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Registered: 07/26/07
Posts: 16,574
Loc: Central New Jersey
Last seen: 4 years, 14 days
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: vandago] * 1
    #21562590 - 04/18/15 08:36 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

You ground scored a corpse?


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OfflineAchillita
Back to the basics
Male


Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: fapjack] * 3
    #21562601 - 04/18/15 08:42 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

All of this is still better the being psychotic on ketamine thinking I was the reincarnation of jesus, hitler, Khan, buddha, and I was really a cyborg with a synthetic heart that was only pumping blood to grow GMO organs that the aliens were going to harvest from me when I was doing really good.




:nocomment:


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Offlinefapjack
Title
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Registered: 07/26/07
Posts: 16,574
Loc: Central New Jersey
Last seen: 4 years, 14 days
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: Achillita]
    #21562622 - 04/18/15 08:52 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Good ol' drug induced psychosis.


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
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Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: vandago]
    #21562633 - 04/18/15 08:55 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
Fuck star trek.





on that note, someone in a neighboring town just got a 20 do 4 sentence
for shooting out windows with a BB gun

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Offlinemakaveli8x8
Stranger
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Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: vandago]
    #21562682 - 04/18/15 09:14 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

so this lady, did you take pictures of this epic tail?  Do you have a detailed Psychedelic Experience of it that we can read?


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.

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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: vandago]
    #21562774 - 04/18/15 09:49 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

:archiebunker: I smell

:trollhide:

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InvisibleSun King
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: vandago] * 7
    #21562898 - 04/18/15 10:30 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

But at least my grandma got laid. :thumbup:


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OfflineDidYouSetItToWumbo
Batman
Male


Registered: 01/15/15
Posts: 150
Loc: On a mountain
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: Sun King] * 3
    #21562965 - 04/18/15 10:41 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

wait wait, you found dismembered body parts in the woods ?
:damnwtf:

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Offlinemakaveli8x8
Stranger
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Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: DidYouSetItToWumbo] * 8
    #21563217 - 04/18/15 11:23 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

DidYouSetItToWumbo said:
wait wait, you found dismembered body parts in the woods ?
:damnwtf:




he told his story in reverse, he had sex with a 58 year old, realized he made a horrible mistake, then he ended up in the forest with a dismembered body and a flat tire


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.

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OfflineBig Worm
Perf
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Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 7,642
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: fapjack]
    #21563294 - 04/18/15 11:39 AM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

fapjack said:
You ground scored a corpse?






:lol:


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Offliner00tuuu123
Now I'm just really piseed
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Registered: 04/20/12
Posts: 8,507
Loc: I'll be there in a minute
Last seen: 8 years, 23 days
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: makaveli8x8] * 2
    #21563653 - 04/18/15 12:52 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

makaveli8x8 said:
Quote:

DidYouSetItToWumbo said:
wait wait, you found dismembered body parts in the woods ?
:damnwtf:




he told his story in reverse, he had sex with a 58 year old, realized he made a horrible mistake, then he ended up in the forest with a dismembered body and a flat tire



That makes it a bit more beleivable. :thatsayes:


--------------------
:kingcrankey: Please report me to a Mod for hurting your punk ass hippie feelings :flipthebird: And all time Champion thread killer.:thatsayes:

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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*
Other

Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan Flag
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: r00tuuu123]
    #21563688 - 04/18/15 12:59 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Wait, so what did you do with the dismembered body?

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Offliner00tuuu123
Now I'm just really piseed
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Registered: 04/20/12
Posts: 8,507
Loc: I'll be there in a minute
Last seen: 8 years, 23 days
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #21563725 - 04/18/15 01:09 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Wait, so what did you do with the dismembered body?


I put it in a cooler for OP to find fuck if Imma gonna put up with some 58 year old bitch cheatin on me. :psycrankey: Oh shit i forgot I hid a cooler full of beer near there. :doublefacepalm:


--------------------
:kingcrankey: Please report me to a Mod for hurting your punk ass hippie feelings :flipthebird: And all time Champion thread killer.:thatsayes:

Edited by r00tuuu123 (04/18/15 01:12 PM)

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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: r00tuuu123]
    #21563799 - 04/18/15 01:28 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

that would be an awesome weekend for me my mom is like 67 :lol:

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Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
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Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: Konyap]
    #21563898 - 04/18/15 01:56 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

I feel like this is similar to asking your dad for a car, then when he says no asking for a bike.

Guy bones old lady, has no friends, needs to spice up thread... Lead with dismembered corpse


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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OfflineTopPmz
<No Title>
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Registered: 01/13/13
Posts: 2,615
Loc: FL Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
Re: Found a body, slept with a 58 year old, got a flat tire, lost everything in my wallet. [Re: vandago] * 1
    #21563926 - 04/18/15 02:03 PM (8 years, 11 months ago)

Elaborate on the corpse, man! You can't leave us hanging on a cliff like this.


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"Freedom Isn't Free" is only half correct. True freedom doesn't exist in the society we exist in. What the saying really means is "The Illusion of Freedom Isn't Free"

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