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 GuruBushHippie
MountainMan
Registered: 04/28/11
Posts: 3,393
Loc: USA 
Last seen: 3 hours, 8 minutes
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 Returning to civilization... 
#16732580 - 08/20/12 06:11 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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After 3 months in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness I had an abrupt and unwelcomed awakening when I arrived at Denver Int’l Airport. Holy fuck. That shit was horrible. I was in Denver for one week and btwn the panhandlers, traffic, noise, and clusterfuck of people; i don’t know which was worse. Before this summer I would have had no trouble with it, but after being immersed in wilderness for an extended period of time I feel physically sick in civilization. I have a quote that I feel is incredibly pertinent: “All who have lived much out of doors know that there is a magnetic and nervous force that accumulates in solitude of nature, but is quickly dissipated by life in a crowd.” I was immersed in that “magnetic and nervous force” for 3 months straight. Imagine what the dissipation of that feeling is like. It’s like withdrawls. I sit here now, surfing the otherwise meaningless internet with a pocket-full of otherwise meaningless cash that i’ll inevitably spend on drugs. It’s an unappreciated return to everyone else’s reality where I’ve always felt out of place and it’s even more so now. I’m lucky to have a little place up in the hills away from town. It’s also truly an awesome thing knowing i’m such a short drive from Pisgah Ntl. where I can backpack anytime. Anyway, my problems aren’t anyone else’s, but if you’ve dealt with such things before then advice is appreciated.
EDIT: Forgot to source my quotation! It's by Charles Eastman, or Ohiyesa, Sioux
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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I cut straight through the forest, and that has made all the difference.
Edited by GuruBushHippie (08/20/12 06:14 PM)
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Absent Minded
Registered: 04/13/12
Posts: 2,852
Loc: New Jersey
Last seen: 6 days, 10 hours
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I absolutely understand that, even if my experiences are of a lesser extent. I've been in the BSA all my life, and even after my 10 day trek in New Mexico, returning to base camp with countless other kids was both annoying, yet at the same time comforting. Arriving back to Newark airport from Denver though was just like you described - it's home, but I was back in the horrible realities of urban NJ - humidity, scumbags, attitudes, congestion, general nastiness, dirtiness, the grime, the whole lot of it. CO and NM were such a change of pace that coming back was overall just a really big FUCK feeling.
On the city note, I work in a city here. I'm not gonna lie - I love the city, it's fun, people all over, mad girls walking around hardly dressed in the summer, everything is dirt cheap, driving (which is my job) is so much more fun (although stressful) in a city environment. It's easy to get sucked up into the mentality of everything going on, thinking to yourself, maybe I could live here once I move out, wouldn't be so bad, etc. But the second I turn onto my road after driving home from work and it's shade, clean, cooler, and just WOODS for 5 fucking miles I know there's probably no way I could ever live there or in a big city of any kind. The second I get back into the woods it just feels like home.
You and I are probably similar in many ways, I'm an avid outdoor enthusiast, and most people, like you've said and your quote kind of touches on, just don't get it. A lot of people even think it's weird that I enjoy hiking, camping, etc. when they're content to sit home on facebook and watch sitcoms all night. To each his own, I suppose. I feel ya on the "withdrawals" feeling as well - if I'm working, and it's rainy that day, and I don't get to go outside for at least 10 minutes I get annoyed.
I don't even really have any advice for you, except to make the best of it - civilization, with all it's downfalls, offers things you're not gonna find anywhere else. In a way, this day in age, we kind of need it. At least you're isolated from other homes and everything. Living way "off the grid" is a very difficult thing to do unless you're really dedicated to it. And though it might offer peace of mind, you have to admit, you'll probably wind up bored, lonely and missing interaction and social gatherings in general after a while.
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sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's
"Foremost among them was the suspicion that my strange and ungovernable instincts might do me in before I had a chance to get rich. No matter how much I wanted all those things that I needed money to buy, there was some devilish current pushing me off in another direction – toward anarchy and poverty and craziness. That maddening delusion that a man can lead a decent life without hiring himself out as a Judas Goat." - The good Doctor
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 SlashOZ
:D
Registered: 10/20/06
Posts: 3,546
Loc: Following the water cycle
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That'll happen man. You'll adjust back to society over time but you'll always know where to escape to. Not many know how to escape and some don't even want to. Poor souls. You should feel lucky. Not many people get to feel what you are feeling right now.
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"Life sucks but in this really beautiful way" - Axl Rose
"Life's a bitch and then you die that's why we get high cuz you never know when you're gonna go." - NAS
"When people don't know what you're about they put you down and shut you out" - Black Sabbath
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" - Gandhi
"Look up at me I am God, look down on me and I am evil, look at me I am you." - Charles Manson.
"Don't question my reality." - Me (as far as I know)
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the_drummer
Stucking Foaned
Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1,647
Loc: The Kan-Abyss
Last seen: 2 months, 7 days
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 Re: Returning to civilization... [Re: SlashOZ]
#16763240 - 08/31/12 12:44 AM (8 months, 18 days ago) |
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Driving back through Atlanta after spending a few days on the Appalachian Trail over the summer was like seeing a war crime.
I never realized how ugly civilization is.
I get irritable if I don't get away from our petty society every so often...we are the special few who realize what a gift nature can be to the soul. We must protect it as a zealot would defend his deity.
Just cherish what you found. Finding the beauty of nature is sublime and it's a true gift. Life is light and shade. We are humans after all and our entire evolution is the result of trying to overcome nature. It's hard to find the right balance between being a normal living-for-the-city human and a tree-hugging-high-priest-earth-child. Just know that you're not alone. And just remember:
"In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks. Take a course in good water and air; and in the eternal youth of Nature you may renew your own. Go quietly, alone; no harm will befall you." -John Muir
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"That's the vernacular, isn't it?" --Mrs. Peel
Edited by the_drummer (08/31/12 12:50 AM)
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GuruBushHippie
MountainMan
Registered: 04/28/11
Posts: 3,393
Loc: USA
Last seen: 3 hours, 8 minutes
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Re: Returning to civilization... [Re: the_drummer]
#16764433 - 08/31/12 09:29 AM (8 months, 18 days ago) |
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"In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks. Take a course in good water and air; and in the eternal youth of Nature you may renew your own. Go quietly, alone; no harm will befall you." -John Muir
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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I cut straight through the forest, and that has made all the difference.
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Mangoskunk
Stranger
Registered: 04/07/12
Posts: 213
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 3 months, 22 days
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I know the feeling, and you described it perfectly. It makes my stomach churn whenever im in a place like and airport, mall, anywhere that masses of people are present. Being in nature does have a sort of peaceful vibration, and I try to spend as much time as I can immersed in it.
Good vibes.
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I think people have a very narrow conception of what is possible with reality, that we're surrounded by the howling abyss of the unknowable and nobody knows what's out there.
Our world is in crisis because of the absence of consciousness. And so to whatever degree any one of us, can bring back a small piece of the picture and contribute it to the building to the new paradigm, then we participate in the redemption of the human spirit, and that after all is what it's really all about.
- Terence Mckenna
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lines
Stranger
Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 1,291
Loc: USA
Last seen: 4 days, 21 hours
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Quote:
GuruBushHippie said:
EDIT: Forgot to source my quotation! It's by Charles Eastman, or Ohiyesa, Sioux
Do you remember what book it was from by any chance?
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GuruBushHippie
MountainMan
Registered: 04/28/11
Posts: 3,393
Loc: USA
Last seen: 3 hours, 8 minutes
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Re: Returning to civilization... [Re: lines]
#16780369 - 09/03/12 10:02 AM (8 months, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
lines said:
Quote:
GuruBushHippie said:
EDIT: Forgot to source my quotation! It's by Charles Eastman, or Ohiyesa, Sioux
Do you remember what book it was from by any chance?
It's called "The Soul of the Indian" it's an incredible read. It's basically about how native peoples celebrated spirituality and "religion" before the white man's influence. I highly recommend it.
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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I cut straight through the forest, and that has made all the difference.
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Aerial Boundaries
Wildlife Analyst
Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 330
Loc: London
Last seen: 1 month, 7 days
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I know how that feels. Once a year I go to my small paradise on the coast for a week. A beach in a small cove with sand-dunes (where we camp) behind it, and hilly fields and wooded areas further behind. I took my best friend last time, we had a gram of MDMA. But we both know now that you don't need drugs to get high there. We plan to go back, just the two of us, every year from now on.
I hate the city 
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"The issue is not whether people are 'good enough' for a particular type of society; rather it is a matter of developing the kind of social institutions that are most conducive to expanding the potentialities we have for intelligence, grace, sociability and freedom." - Paul Goodman (1964)
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GuruBushHippie
MountainMan
Registered: 04/28/11
Posts: 3,393
Loc: USA
Last seen: 3 hours, 8 minutes
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Yeah it's crazy sometimes what nature can do. I was out overnight last night sleeping in my car because a flash flood washed my tent out where I had originally planned to stay. Everything was drenched, but I was too drunk to drive home so I slept in the back of my explorer soaking wet. It was still better than living in civilization.
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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I cut straight through the forest, and that has made all the difference.
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Jordy
Death Metal Bass Extraordinaire
Registered: 09/02/12
Posts: 295
Last seen: 7 hours, 43 minutes
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I can definitely relate to this...
I am most at-home when I am 30 miles out to sea, fishing for Marlin here off Sydney, Australia. Granted, I have been on boats that have a few mod-cons (plus a couple floating penthouses!), so we aren't living in a total survival mode. But I always feel sad as we come back in through the headlands after a long day at sea (up to 16 hours on some trips).
I couldn't tell you the amount of times I have sat up on the bow of big boats and watched as dolphins have played in the wake of the the 35 foot + fishing machines. Sure, I could have always sat inside the cabin where there has been air-conditioning on some luxury cruisers I have fished on. But I would rather be right up on the bow sprit, where the water hasn't been disturbed by the hull yet and where you can't hear the motors. I am about as close to the ocean life as I can be while a boat drives around at about ten miles an hour.
Between the plethora of sea life, the pure wilderness of the ocean and the excitement and adrenalin that I get from catching billfish; it's my true home. Money, mobile phones, internet, NONE of that matters out there. Only surivial.
I used to do it at least once a week whilst I was a teen during the summer months, then I moved Melbourne; an area where billfish aren't found. After two years, I moved back to Sydney and fished only a handful of times, now I'm back in Melbourne. It's amazing how not having ready access to those fish has screwed with my head. I actually got depressed when I found out I had to move back here
Here's a pic, for the good ol' days!! 
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Absent Minded
Registered: 04/13/12
Posts: 2,852
Loc: New Jersey
Last seen: 6 days, 10 hours
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Re: Returning to civilization... [Re: Jordy]
#16786013 - 09/04/12 12:31 PM (8 months, 14 days ago) |
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Quote:
GuruBushHippie said:
I slept in the back of my explorer soaking wet. It was still better than living in civilization.
lol
Quote:
Jordy said:
I can definitely relate to this...
I am most at-home when I am 30 miles out to sea, fishing for Marlin here off Sydney, Australia. Granted, I have been on boats that have a few mod-cons (plus a couple floating penthouses!), so we aren't living in a total survival mode. But I always feel sad as we come back in through the headlands after a long day at sea (up to 16 hours on some trips).
I couldn't tell you the amount of times I have sat up on the bow of big boats and watched as dolphins have played in the wake of the the 35 foot + fishing machines. Sure, I could have always sat inside the cabin where there has been air-conditioning on some luxury cruisers I have fished on. But I would rather be right up on the bow sprit, where the water hasn't been disturbed by the hull yet and where you can't hear the motors. I am about as close to the ocean life as I can be while a boat drives around at about ten miles an hour.
Between the plethora of sea life, the pure wilderness of the ocean and the excitement and adrenalin that I get from catching billfish; it's my true home. Money, mobile phones, internet, NONE of that matters out there. Only surivial.
I used to do it at least once a week whilst I was a teen during the summer months, then I moved Melbourne; an area where billfish aren't found. After two years, I moved back to Sydney and fished only a handful of times, now I'm back in Melbourne. It's amazing how not having ready access to those fish has screwed with my head. I actually got depressed when I found out I had to move back here
Here's a pic, for the good ol' days!!
sounds awesome. I went deep sea fishing once in the atlantic, that was some awesome, awesome stuff.
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sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's
"Foremost among them was the suspicion that my strange and ungovernable instincts might do me in before I had a chance to get rich. No matter how much I wanted all those things that I needed money to buy, there was some devilish current pushing me off in another direction – toward anarchy and poverty and craziness. That maddening delusion that a man can lead a decent life without hiring himself out as a Judas Goat." - The good Doctor
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Smokeyjoe420
Stranger
Registered: 09/05/12
Posts: 14
Last seen: 7 months, 8 days
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man i know what you mean, i always wanted too just pack everything that meant something too me and went deep into the woods and stay there. Build a house, start a garden and just stay there not too be bothered by anyone for the rest of my days... sad thing is i'm too socialable so it wouldnt work for me, but i do love too go Bushcrafting (for those who dont know, bushcraft is when you enter the wilderness with nothing and stay for extended periods of time living off the land) Anyways, I would love too go real soon but my bushcrafting buddy is in jail... not the smartest fellow... "/
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lines
Stranger
Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 1,291
Loc: USA
Last seen: 4 days, 21 hours
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Quote:
Aerial Boundaries said:
It's called "The Soul of the Indian" it's an incredible read. It's basically about how native peoples celebrated spirituality and "religion" before the white man's influence. I highly recommend it.
Thanks
Edited by lines (09/06/12 02:04 AM)
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Absent Minded
Registered: 04/13/12
Posts: 2,852
Loc: New Jersey
Last seen: 6 days, 10 hours
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Quote:
GuruBushHippie said:
Quote:
lines said:
Quote:
GuruBushHippie said:
EDIT: Forgot to source my quotation! It's by Charles Eastman, or Ohiyesa, Sioux
Do you remember what book it was from by any chance?
It's called "The Soul of the Indian" it's an incredible read. It's basically about how native peoples celebrated spirituality and "religion" before the white man's influence. I highly recommend it.
added it to my "to read" list.
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sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's
"Foremost among them was the suspicion that my strange and ungovernable instincts might do me in before I had a chance to get rich. No matter how much I wanted all those things that I needed money to buy, there was some devilish current pushing me off in another direction – toward anarchy and poverty and craziness. That maddening delusion that a man can lead a decent life without hiring himself out as a Judas Goat." - The good Doctor
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