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 Zalisman
Stranger
Registered: 09/01/12
Posts: 3
Last seen: 8 months, 13 days
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 Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety 
#16777257 - 09/02/12 05:59 PM (8 months, 15 days ago) |
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First of all, I've been in a relationship for a month now, it's completely perfect aside from we have really only had sex a couple of times. I can't get a boner any more, I get them all the time when we're making out and petting and such but when it comes time to fuck I just can't get it up, it's so frustrating because I'm still young and this problem is putting pressure on the relationship, I really want to fuck her and she gets pissy when she doesn't get the dick and it makes me feel awful.
I've searched a lot online and I believe it's performance anxiety. But I also used to smoke Spice (Haven't in 4 days now) and I looked online and found something about spice causing erection issues so now I'm scared.
I really don't know what to do.
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 yogabunny
cat herder
 
Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: Zalisman]
#16777925 - 09/02/12 08:18 PM (8 months, 15 days ago) |
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a friend of mine had this problem recently. it was a psychological block and it took him a while to get past it, but you just have to work on letting go of the anxiety. dosing mda helped my friend work through and get past the block.
sorry you're going through is i know how frustrating this is for both of you!
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तत् त्वम् असि
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trampis
mad hatter
Registered: 01/01/06
Posts: 2,323
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: yogabunny]
#16778086 - 09/02/12 08:45 PM (8 months, 15 days ago) |
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This may seem ridiculous, but try exercising more. I swear if I go run a few miles or just hit up the gym for a little bit, it can be a problem for me to think about an attractive female and far worse if I see one. My juices get flowing so easy and I really have to distract my mind from thinking about the ladies because I will get an erection. Kind of awkward to run with a boner. . .
Seriously though, give it a try. At this point you are probably thinking too much about your issue and I'd imagine anytime sex comes up you start worrying about if you will be able to preform, which of course only makes it worse. Go out and do some type of physical activity to get the blood pumping and take your mind off the issue.
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Playful Hate
Transhuman Polyglot
Registered: 05/15/12
Posts: 1,040
Loc: 
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: trampis]
#16778201 - 09/02/12 09:08 PM (8 months, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
trampis said:
This may seem ridiculous, but try exercising more. I swear if I go run a few miles or just hit up the gym for a little bit, it can be a problem for me to think about an attractive female and far worse if I see one. My juices get flowing so easy and I really have to distract my mind from thinking about the ladies because I will get an erection. Kind of awkward to run with a boner. . .
Seriously though, give it a try. At this point you are probably thinking too much about your issue and I'd imagine anytime sex comes up you start worrying about if you will be able to preform, which of course only makes it worse. Go out and do some type of physical activity to get the blood pumping and take your mind off the issue.
Seconded.
Physical activity increased erection probability, sexual stamina, desire, and a host of other sexy shit.
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yogabunny
cat herder
Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: Playful Hate]
#16778212 - 09/02/12 09:11 PM (8 months, 15 days ago) |
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and maybe take up some kind of stillness/mindfulness practice as well to help stead/calm the mind.
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तत् त्वम् असि
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Zalisman
Stranger
Registered: 09/01/12
Posts: 3
Last seen: 8 months, 13 days
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: yogabunny]
#16778347 - 09/02/12 09:43 PM (8 months, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
trampis said:
This may seem ridiculous, but try exercising more.
Thanks, but I recently started exercising quite a bit, and I run 3 times a week.
Quote:
yogabunny said:
and maybe take up some kind of stillness/mindfulness practice as well to help stead/calm the mind.
Like what?
Quote:
yogabunny said:
it was a psychological block and it took him a while to get past it, but you just have to work on letting go of the anxiety.
Thanks and yeah I guess, she's being patient and I guess I'm just going to keep working through it, eventually it will work. I need to try and not think about it.
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Treefeeler
Skill Collector
Registered: 02/13/11
Posts: 888
Last seen: 4 months, 8 days
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: Playful Hate]
#16778355 - 09/02/12 09:45 PM (8 months, 15 days ago) |
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Def. all about your anxiety and pressure. Your dick isn't hard in the moment, you start freaking out about it, and it makes it almost impossible to actually get aroused.
When I was with my first girl, I was 15, and at that time it was basically impossible not to get wood with just a little initiation. As I got a little older (20), I noticed that it took just a little more to get me going then it used to. Then one time, I noticed (in the middle of making out) that I wasn't ready to go, and I panicked. The panicking distracted me from making out, which made my even more distant from the moment, got softer and panicked some more.
The girl was cool about it, and we actually laughed about it for a second. So we laid there naked and talked/madeout for a while... then BAM, out of nowhere "Kernel L.M. Douglas" was at attention. We wrapped that shit and got down immediately, relieved and excited to be fucking. After that I've gotten a much more relaxed attitude about it which prevents my freaking out.
Moral of the story, don't worry about it man. Worrying makes it worse. Sometimes the moment doesn't fit.
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With the exception of grammatical corrections, everything I say is completely false and without foundation.
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klimt
Stranger
Registered: 03/07/08
Posts: 446
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: Treefeeler]
#16778394 - 09/02/12 09:53 PM (8 months, 14 days ago) |
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How often are you doing this:  ?
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imachavel
Stranger
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 8,712
Loc: Florida - not listed
Last seen: 11 minutes, 31 seconds
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: yogabunny]
#16778699 - 09/02/12 11:13 PM (8 months, 14 days ago) |
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Quote:
yogabunny said:
and maybe take up some kind of stillness/mindfulness practice as well to help stead/calm the mind.
I do the breath observation and sensation observation myself. Pretty simple, but deep. Try it sometime:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ba_Khin
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shallowbastard
the friendly puppet
Registered: 01/15/09
Posts: 1,092
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: imachavel]
#16781414 - 09/03/12 03:03 PM (8 months, 14 days ago) |
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go see a clinical psychologist/therapist, it sounds like anxiety.
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LSDylan
Stoner
Registered: 05/26/10
Posts: 1,979
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 30 days, 36 minutes
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: klimt]
#16781490 - 09/03/12 03:22 PM (8 months, 14 days ago) |
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Quote:
Treefeeler said:
Def. all about your anxiety and pressure. Your dick isn't hard in the moment, you start freaking out about it, and it makes it almost impossible to actually get aroused.
When I was with my first girl, I was 15, and at that time it was basically impossible not to get wood with just a little initiation. As I got a little older (20), I noticed that it took just a little more to get me going then it used to. Then one time, I noticed (in the middle of making out) that I wasn't ready to go, and I panicked. The panicking distracted me from making out, which made my even more distant from the moment, got softer and panicked some more.
The girl was cool about it, and we actually laughed about it for a second. So we laid there naked and talked/madeout for a while... then BAM, out of nowhere "Kernel L.M. Douglas" was at attention. We wrapped that shit and got down immediately, relieved and excited to be fucking. After that I've gotten a much more relaxed attitude about it which prevents my freaking out.
Moral of the story, don't worry about it man. Worrying makes it worse. Sometimes the moment doesn't fit.
Same type of shit has happened to me. Thinking about the possibility of not getting it up will make it difficult to do. Just relax.
Quote:
klimt said:
How often are you doing this: ?
^This too. If you jerk it a lot then it will be harder to get it up. Definitely try to not masturbate on a day you think you could have sex.
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   Rave | Drugs
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Zalisman
Stranger
Registered: 09/01/12
Posts: 3
Last seen: 8 months, 13 days
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: LSDylan]
#16783605 - 09/03/12 09:50 PM (8 months, 14 days ago) |
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Hey guys thanks for the help, I randomly got over it, we got a hotel and messed around and ended up fucking 10 times in one day, I came the final time. I really don't know how but it was amazing.
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yogabunny
cat herder
Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,770
Loc: ∞
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: Zalisman]
#16783769 - 09/03/12 10:18 PM (8 months, 13 days ago) |
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तत् त्वम् असि
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imachavel
Stranger
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 8,712
Loc: Florida - not listed
Last seen: 11 minutes, 31 seconds
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: shallowbastard]
#16783783 - 09/03/12 10:21 PM (8 months, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
shallowbastard said:
go see a clinical psychologist/therapist, it sounds like anxiety.
I'm speaking of a meditation technique to remove stress, and some how you connect that to me having anxiety? 
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trampis
mad hatter
Registered: 01/01/06
Posts: 2,323
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: imachavel]
#16783796 - 09/03/12 10:23 PM (8 months, 13 days ago) |
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I think their response was for OP, not you. . .
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AlphaFalfa
imagine
Registered: 06/16/08
Posts: 3,849
Loc: 3 Seconds Ago. 
Last seen: 2 months, 8 days
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: trampis]
#16784736 - 09/04/12 02:30 AM (8 months, 13 days ago) |
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DUDE JUST THINK ABOUT HER ASS AND TITS AND FACE.
DUDE JUST THINK ABOUT HER ASS AND TITS AND FACE.
DUDE JUST THINK ABOUT HER ASS AND TITS AND FACE.
Comprende?
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if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...
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withoutawire
Bunny Lover
Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 10,922
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 3 hours, 6 minutes
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: Zalisman]
#16785057 - 09/04/12 05:21 AM (8 months, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
Zalisman said:
First of all, I've been in a relationship for a month now, it's completely perfect aside from we have really only had sex a couple of times. I can't get a boner any more, I get them all the time when we're making out and petting and such but when it comes time to fuck I just can't get it up, it's so frustrating because I'm still young and this problem is putting pressure on the relationship, I really want to fuck her and she gets pissy when she doesn't get the dick and it makes me feel awful.
I've searched a lot online and I believe it's performance anxiety. But I also used to smoke Spice (Haven't in 4 days now) and I looked online and found something about spice causing erection issues so now I'm scared.
I really don't know what to do.
You can satisfy her in other ways like oral sex. It'll do your ego some good to hear her orgasm.
Don't attack a pussy like you want your dick attacked. Take your time just getting down there and go gently and smoothly.
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automan
blasted chipmunk
Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 6,720
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: yogabunny]
#16785256 - 09/04/12 07:06 AM (8 months, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
Zalisman said:
Hey guys thanks for the help, I randomly got over it, we got a hotel and messed around and ended up fucking 10 times in one day, I came the final time. I really don't know how but it was amazing.
Quote:
yogabunny said:
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No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr
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shallowbastard
the friendly puppet
Registered: 01/15/09
Posts: 1,092
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Re: Erection Issues / Performance Anxiety [Re: imachavel]
#16785675 - 09/04/12 11:01 AM (8 months, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
imachavel said:
I'm speaking of a meditation technique to remove stress, and some how you connect that to me having anxiety?
lol
Quote:
trampis said:
I think their response was for OP, not you. . .
This.
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