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 ellenallien
lumpy space princess
 
Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,142
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 17 days, 20 hours
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 Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends 
#16720546 - 08/18/12 02:39 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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"i wake up in the morning and i ask myself, is life worth Living or should i Blast myself"
well i've done it again. i was kicked out of my BF's house onto the streets a few nights ago. i have been bouncing around friends houses sleeping on couches. he has told me that he doesnt think he loves me anymore  and has stopped talking to me all together. i have been doing very poorly and now w/o him i dont have anything to lose anymore.
i have been binging on and dealing Heroin and ocaisonally doing crack & cocaine when given or offered, for the last few months. i have OD'd three times, two of which i have stopped breathing, in the month of August and its nowhere near over yet.
the point of this thread is just to let my friends and those im close with on here know whats been happening, and why i have sort of disappeared. im not sure when i will be able to post again since i am basically homeless now but atleast i have some places to lay my head at night.
for the last 2 days i stopped talking to everyone, stopped dealing so i had to ditch my phone and left the city so i dont have all the addicts tracking me down looking to cop. thank god im all paid up so i could just get out of "the game" w/o worrying about suppliers looking to shot me. i have been staying 'more' sober ((then i've been)), thinking, reflecting. i'm not sure whats going to happen with me, what i want to happen to me, what path i want to take, or where i will end up at the end of the day...
Shroomery, and especially my friends here in the Pub & ODD, i miss u, i will always Love you
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 DeadHearts
Registered: 07/17/09
Posts: 21,149
Loc: MICHIGAN
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 Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: ellenallien] 4
#16720555 - 08/18/12 02:40 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Uzziel
Stranger
Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 4,535
Last seen: 12 minutes, 16 seconds
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: ellenallien] 6
#16720560 - 08/18/12 02:42 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Maybe he'd love you if you didn't steal from him and completely use him.
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mongo lloyd
High Plains Drifter
Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 8,242
Loc: UK 
Last seen: 4 months, 20 days
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Uzziel] 6
#16720660 - 08/18/12 03:37 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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not this bollocks again
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RonaldFuckingPaul
Our Dear Leader
Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 13,360
Loc: Straight Outta Compton 
Last seen: 38 minutes
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: ellenallien]
#16720669 - 08/18/12 03:38 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Quote:
ellenallien said:
"i wake up in the morning and i ask myself, is life worth Living or should i Blast myself"
well i've done it again. i was kicked out of my BF's house onto the streets a few nights ago. i have been bouncing around friends houses sleeping on couches. he has told me that he doesnt think he loves me anymore and has stopped talking to me all together. i have been doing very poorly and now w/o him i dont have anything to lose anymore.
i have been binging on and dealing Heroin and ocaisonally doing crack & cocaine when given or offered, for the last few months. i have OD'd three times, two of which i have stopped breathing, in the month of August and its nowhere near over yet.
the point of this thread is just to let my friends and those im close with on here know whats been happening, and why i have sort of disappeared. im not sure when i will be able to post again since i am basically homeless now but atleast i have some places to lay my head at night.
for the last 2 days i stopped talking to everyone, stopped dealing so i had to ditch my phone and left the city so i dont have all the addicts tracking me down looking to cop. thank god im all paid up so i could just get out of "the game" w/o worrying about suppliers looking to shot me. i have been staying 'more' sober ((then i've been)), thinking, reflecting. i'm not sure whats going to happen with me, what i want to happen to me, what path i want to take, or where i will end up at the end of the day...
Shroomery, and especially my friends here in the Pub & ODD, i miss u, i will always Love you
 Get off them hard drugs and start over ellen. Get new friends and all.
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Donate bitcoins to: 1EiXM1ZSbNbksnHzTPJE2MaMNF8kKi9SQs
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 4 months, 27 days
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Quote:
reeferaddict69 said:
Get off them hard drugs and start over ellen. Get new friends and all.
In order to get off opiates I had to delete the phone numbers of all of my opiate using friends so I couldn't get more opiates, and so I wouldn't be hanging out with people who use opiates.
I ended up deleting almost all the people in my phone aside from a few good friends and family.
By doing that, I've been able to stay clean of opiates for 8 months.
I think this is a good idea for people who want to quit hard drugs.
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Funki Porcini
Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 2,100
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: HB]
#16720712 - 08/18/12 03:48 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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You can come live with me,and I'll take care of you
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 4 months, 27 days
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Funki Porcini] 1
#16720717 - 08/18/12 03:49 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Quote:
Funki Porcini said:
You can come live with me,and I'll take care of you
Are you saying that to me or to the OP?
If it's me, then I'm down 
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Funki Porcini
Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 2,100
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: HB]
#16720753 - 08/18/12 03:57 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Quote:
HB said:
Quote:
Funki Porcini said:
You can come live with me,and I'll take care of you
Are you saying that to me or to the OP?
If it's me, then I'm down
Oh no,I was talking to the op,but if you're a nice looking woman,come on down
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Humility
Working on it
Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,696
Last seen: 29 days, 15 hours
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Funki Porcini]
#16720821 - 08/18/12 04:12 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Stop shooting that shit into your arms. It's about to get cold outside.
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Edited by Humility (08/18/12 04:14 PM)
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Humility
Working on it
Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,696
Last seen: 29 days, 15 hours
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Humility] 1
#16720829 - 08/18/12 04:14 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Also, don't quote 2Pac, or B.I.G. or any rapper in regards to bullshit heroin antics. The problems you go through from supporting your family and selling drugs aren't comparable to the ones you go through from being a drug addict. Quote lines from popular drug addicts. There are plenty to choose from.
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 4 months, 27 days
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Humility]
#16720832 - 08/18/12 04:14 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Quote:
Humility said:
Quote lines from popular drug addicts. There are plenty to choose from.
Any examples?
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Humility
Working on it
Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,696
Last seen: 29 days, 15 hours
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: HB]
#16720847 - 08/18/12 04:18 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 4 months, 27 days
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Humility]
#16720860 - 08/18/12 04:20 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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The End -- good choice!
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Humility
Working on it
Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,696
Last seen: 29 days, 15 hours
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Humility]
#16720876 - 08/18/12 04:23 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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To be clear my father is and has been for my entire life a heroin addict, as are all of his children (30+ y.o.) excepting me.
Some of their children rob people at gunpoint for prestige or money or reputation or whatever else. Generations of fucked up individuals behind one person using heroin and neglecting their responsibilities.
I hate to sound callous but that's how I feel about it. You're still together and have plenty of potential ellen, you need to cut the bullshit though.
You know better than anyone else what that shit will do to you, every time you choose to use it.
The hardest part is forgetting. You'll never be able to truly do that. You've already discovered it. Still, you *need* to let it go, despite the fact that you neither have to nor really want to.
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DeadHearts
Registered: 07/17/09
Posts: 21,149
Loc: MICHIGAN
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Humility]
#16720889 - 08/18/12 04:25 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Quote:
Humility said:
To be clear my father is and has been for my entire life a heroin addict, as are all of his children (30+ y.o.) excepting me.
Some of their children rob people at gunpoint for prestige or money or reputation or whatever else. Generations of fucked up individuals behind one person using heroin and neglecting their responsibilities.
I hate to sound callous but that's how I feel about it. You're still together and have plenty of potential ellen, you need to cut the bullshit though.
You know better than anyone else what that shit will do to you, every time you choose to use it.
The hardest part is forgetting. You'll never be able to truly do that. You've already discovered it. Still, you *need* to let it go, despite the fact that you neither have to nor really want to.
I know you have good intentions here but I think you are wasting your time.
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Salomon
living on borrowed time
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 20,281
Loc: I dont even care anymore
Last seen: 28 minutes, 41 seconds
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Humility]
#16720897 - 08/18/12 04:26 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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sad.
this is a sad thread.
kitty's off the beaten path
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 4 months, 27 days
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: DeadHearts]
#16720898 - 08/18/12 04:27 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Why is that?
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Luc1d
Listener
Registered: 01/03/11
Posts: 1,337
Last seen: 14 hours, 1 minute
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: Salomon] 4
#16720901 - 08/18/12 04:27 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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OP doesn't take anybody's advice 
i swear this thread is like deja vu from probably.....a week ago.
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 4 months, 27 days
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Re: Down & Out: an update to my dearest friends [Re: ellenallien]
#16720904 - 08/18/12 04:29 PM (8 months, 28 days ago) |
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Ellen, why don't you move back in with your parents?
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