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Anonymous #1
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 planned future suicide 
#16441838 - 06/26/12 07:50 PM (10 months, 21 days ago) |
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In four months I will ingest a lethal brew of opiates to end everything once and for all. There will be no turning back once the deed is done and any attempts to save me will be slim, my body will quickly absorb there opiates and I shall be dead in 10 or perhaps 15 mins after drinking.
The only ingredient left is to gather the courage and determination to down this fucking cocktail once and for all without regrets. I have failed in life, my efforts to succeed in the big bad world were useless and now, my father and mother look down upon me like I'm some kind of burden which I am and this is the reason I wish to off myself with this cocktail. This isn't a cry for help so spare me your sympathy and lectures. I only wished to make everyone proud by succeeding but i have failed because i am selfish and have a low self-esteem. Many years ago i had friends, lots of them but nowadays i have few even if they dont acknowledge me as a friend. I've never dated or kissed a girl. I'm a loser and a filthy liar without morals. I have bullied people and as I look back at the past, I wish Id of changed things for the better. I'm full of guilt and nightmares. Lack of sleep and dependence on opiates and other poisons to drain away my troubles. I could go on but I will only bore people.
I write this as evidence so in four months time there will be no questions since this will answer everything.
Thank you and goodnight
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 DocShroom
Stranger
Registered: 06/03/12
Posts: 455
Last seen: 10 months, 12 days
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A cry for help is exactly what this is. Someone who had no hope in life would not plan 4 months in advance. That four months is the timeline you have set for yourself to turn shit around and I hope you do.
I will not ramble on about all the good shit in your life because I don't know you, but I do know a lot about suicidal patients and there is always a way to turn your life for the better.
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Anything posted by me is either hypothetical or completely fictional. Tek information is for educational purposes and should only be used where it is legal.
All trades available are legal and for microscopy or other legal uses only.
Trade List:
Sterile Syringes (5 and 10 cc)
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin
Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 2,664
Last seen: 1 day, 13 hours
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This is one of my favorite suicide note things, its pretty brutal instead of being winy. I mean don't do it, but at least this is worded well. Especially
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I'm a loser and a filthy liar without morals.
Nice
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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Anonymous #1
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Re: planned future suicide [Re: DocShroom]
#16442029 - 06/26/12 08:21 PM (10 months, 21 days ago) |
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Quote:
DocShroom said:
A cry for help is exactly what this is. Someone who had no hope in life would not plan 4 months in advance. That four months is the timeline you have set for yourself to turn shit around and I hope you do.
I will not ramble on about all the good shit in your life because I don't know you, but I do know a lot about suicidal patients and there is always a way to turn your life for the better.
If that's the way you see it then fine, I understand. I planned four months in advance because I wanted to be there for my brother's birthday, I couldn't leave this world without doing something meaningful and sincere like hugging a beloved brother. I'll miss them but I feel like this is the right path to restore my honour and dignity instead of being the asshole people knew me as. I have the cocktail here beside me and I'm fucking shivering because the urge is too great but I will manage. I have strong blood in me. If I don't commit suicide then I just proved how much of a lying, relentless selfish bastard I really am and hopefully that me a enough to off myself. There is a chance things may change but I've gone through this procedure many times before so I know what Im doing.
Much obliged comrades
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Anonymous #2
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i could only imagine the pain you are going through, i too have done some stupid shit in the past that i truly regret, and guess what, i am not as lucky with the ladies either. life is about learning and growing from your mistakes, not wallowing in them and making things worse for yourself and others. i could have made things worse with my negative emotions, but instead i chose to make things better. i figured that those who looked at me as a burden were probably right, i wasn't being the best i can be, i was lazy, selfish, and self loathing, but i had to get over my ego to start making things right.
if you continue with your decision, you will lose. you think this life is bad, wait till you get to the other side.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
i could only imagine the pain you are going through, i too have done some stupid shit in the past that i truly regret, and guess what, i am not as lucky with the ladies either. life is about learning and growing from your mistakes, not wallowing in them and making things worse for yourself and others. i could have made things worse with my negative emotions, but instead i chose to make things better. i figured that those who looked at me as a burden were probably right, i wasn't being the best i can be, i was lazy, selfish, and self loathing, but i had to get over my ego to start making things right.
if you continue with your decision, you will lose. you think this life is bad, wait till you get to the other side.
Nice try but I've heard it all and done it. There is a time in a man's life where he knows that things can't be fixed so why bother wasting your time on something that's already gone and dead, unchangeable. Hopefully my death should bring some closure to others. I can't repeat the same mistakes over and over again. I can't keep revising everything I did wrong or puts fake smile and pretend everything's 'Alright' when in reality it's far from it.
I will be nodding my mind to kingdoms end and then I'll drift off into a permanent sleep, the cocktail will not fail.
Some alcohol should boost me up for the trip, some background music will make me feel like I'm not alone and then I'll ingest the poisons. I'm getting the feeling I am being monitored at this rate, please please stay out of it whoever you are.
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Anonymous #2
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I had a loved one who passed away two years ago, his weapon of choice, a shotgun, so forgive me if you feel like i am trying to help you. I am just reacting as i should. I've seen the aftermath, I've felt the hurt, if you think you are going to make things better by taking your life then you should seriously think twice about your decision.
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Anonymous #3
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So what if you don't have any friends, pretty lousy excuse for killing yourself IMO
"I won't ask for mercy, I choose to walk alone" -Megadeth
How will this post answer anything in 4 months? You really think they are going to come onto this site to find answers? Yeah right.
Hopefully you change your mind, I can only imagine how horrible it would be if you drank your "cocktail" and decided you wanted to live at the last second.
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DocShroom
Stranger
Registered: 06/03/12
Posts: 455
Last seen: 10 months, 12 days
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I'm not going to encourage or discourage you anymore but if you are truly set on this why did you choose to hide behind an anonymous post?
--------------------
Anything posted by me is either hypothetical or completely fictional. Tek information is for educational purposes and should only be used where it is legal.
All trades available are legal and for microscopy or other legal uses only.
Trade List:
Sterile Syringes (5 and 10 cc)
Presterilized Substrate Jars
More to come soon...
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Anonymous #4
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Re: planned future suicide [Re: DocShroom]
#16443260 - 06/27/12 12:46 AM (10 months, 21 days ago) |
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Obviously you know you can do better, So just take it one step at a time. Get active, get out of the house, seek addiction help, try being nice to yourself(obviously you are pretty down on yourself), Or how about just eat 10 grams of mushrooms and go through the entire mental death and come away feeling like your just were birthed through the fabric of the universe.
I can be really fucking shitty, but please don't end your life.
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Anonymous #5
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
DocShroom said:
A cry for help is exactly what this is. Someone who had no hope in life would not plan 4 months in advance. That four months is the timeline you have set for yourself to turn shit around and I hope you do.
I will not ramble on about all the good shit in your life because I don't know you, but I do know a lot about suicidal patients and there is always a way to turn your life for the better.
If that's the way you see it then fine, I understand. I planned four months in advance because I wanted to be there for my brother's birthday, I couldn't leave this world without doing something meaningful and sincere like hugging a beloved brother. I'll miss them but I feel like this is the right path to restore my honour and dignity instead of being the asshole people knew me as. I have the cocktail here beside me and I'm fucking shivering because the urge is too great but I will manage. I have strong blood in me. If I don't commit suicide then I just proved how much of a lying, relentless selfish bastard I really am and hopefully that me a enough to off myself. There is a chance things may change but I've gone through this procedure many times before so I know what Im doing.
Much obliged comrades
Only this IS a cry for help.
You dont want to do it, and you know it.
How do I know this to be true? Because you posted it here.
Not that posting here is some revelation thing, but you posted it. I know a dumbass that likes to continue this whole charade of some opiate addiction. They'll get 'clean' for a month, then use again, but they wont be sneaky, or sly, or coy about it, they post fucking lame facebook messages "oh back at square one, herpderr" and write journal entries and then leave the journal around the house. Honestly, the whole act is getting REALLY FUCKING OLD, but all the same, they make all these fucking cries for help and all that. They arent serious about even liking their addiction, it's a fucking status symbol.
You arent serious about this, and you're hoping someone will talk you out of it. Hopefully, for your sake, maybe we will talk you out of it. I dont know, but the fact you made this post shows that hope isnt lost just yet.
If you're already at the end of your rope, why not do something amazing? Like if failure isnt even a thought, and it's going to end, why not go to Uganda and start building schools for the less fortunate? You know what makes you feel better? making others feel better.
Also, your parents are fucking twats, and shouldnt earn an ounce of your thought. Their opinions amount to pretty much nothing, because they thought it was a good idea to bring a child into this fucked up world(overpopulated planet, declining exo-system, wars and drug adddicts, blah blah blah). Clearly, they dont know their shit from their dick, and you shouldnt take their assessment as seriously.
Soo..... Uganda. Why not, OP? Really, why the fuck not?
and just so we're clear, this isnt acutally an opportunity for your shitty excuses, this is to show you how near-sighted you're being.
Only in america are we so privlaged that peoples biggest problem is addiction to a substance that removes their pain. Jesus fuck, get over it.
Edited by Anonymous (06/27/12 02:32 AM)
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halo
Tripper
Registered: 11/01/07
Posts: 845
Last seen: 4 days, 10 hours
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OP, you sound like a smart guy.
So the fuck what if you've done some bad shit in the past. Everybody has skeletons in the closet. You lied, you cheated, you stole? I don't care. Most people in your life probably don't either. You have a brother that you love enough that you want to be at his birthday. And it sounds like he loves you too or why else would you think you'd be able to spend time with im on his b-day?
Even if that wasn't the case. Even if everybody you knew thought you were a shithead and a horrible person. Even if you actually ARE or were a shithead scumbag motherfucker. So what.
You can change that. You can stop being a shitty person. You can be an awesome, kind, and compassionate person. And if you do that, people will look back and say "Wow, look at anon#1, he used to be such an asshole but he really turned his life around. What a cool fucking dude, I wish I could be like him".
You might think something like that is impossible but you are wrong.
Consider the case of General Butt-Naked of Liberia. He was a General in the Liberian Civil War a few years ago. He was fucked up. He believed fighting in the nude gave you greater powers and the ability to dodge bullets. Most of his army was children and teenagers whom he drugged with cocaine and other drugs to get them to fight a fucking war.
He also had ceremonies in which he cut the heart out of a child and ate it while the child was still alive. That happened multiple times.
Now. He's a fucking Christian Preacher, I shit you not. He's trying to atone for his sins, or at least that's what he says. He leads a church now and isn't outwardly involved in that game anymore. He was a terrible person. You can't be a much worse person than him. But even now, he's doing some good things, he'll always have the shit hanging over him, but now he's able to help people be happy and to heal from the war. Even if its all a con game and he doesn't believe a single thing that he's preaching, his presence in the community is probably of a greater benefit than if he had killed himself.
Another thing to think about. Bill Hicks has been fond of saying that life is a fundamental pull between two forces. Fear and Love. OP, if you choose suicide you are just choosing fear. You CAN choose Love. It might not seem like it but you really really can.
And lastly OP I have one final thing in this post. If you're so intent on killing yourself, why don't you take more time and make sure that's what you really want to do. Go travel the world. Go to places you've never been that you've always wanted to go to. Ride some rollercoasters if that's your thing. Go explore Europe or India or South America. Who gives a fuck what happens. If you're gonna kill yourself just go over there with no money and be a bum. You can do it. You can be a bum on the streets of the most beautiful cities of the world. Drinkin cheap wine and hollerin at babes all day. One might call it a shitty life, another would say it's heaven. But it's still more interesting than killing yourself.
Go fly a plane. Skydive. Smoke DMT on the top of the tallest mountain you can climb.
If you're gonna off yourself, you better spend the next 4 months trying to fulfill every one of your dreams, even one's you've long dismissed. Because if you're gonna die anyway what do you have to lose?
If you need anything OP please PM me. I had a friend kill herself almost two years ago. It's been the single saddest event in my entire life, I can't even begin to imagine how devastating it has been for her family. I beg you to reconsider.
Go live the fuck out of life. Then if you still think it sucks make your decision. But before you kill yourself make sure you do everything you've ever wanted to do. Because you might never get the chance to do it again.
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All drugs should be legal
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 zZZz
R.I.P. woodruss67 *
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 6,174
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Re: planned future suicide [Re: halo]
#16443481 - 06/27/12 01:47 AM (10 months, 21 days ago) |
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yea don't do it man, 
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Jesus Is Love
 "The best quote of all time"
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Jwlst
Stranger
Registered: 02/24/05
Posts: 1,338
Last seen: 8 months, 4 days
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Ahhh to be 15 years old again. I envy you OP.
I hope by opiates you don't mean your mothers aspirin, that will not kill you, but I can assure you really won't be getting a girl if you have to shit in a bag full of feces attatched around your waist for the rest of your life 
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Anonymous #6
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Re: planned future suicide [Re: Jwlst]
#16443615 - 06/27/12 02:57 AM (10 months, 21 days ago) |
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Quote:
Jwlst said:
Ahhh to be 15 years old again. I envy you OP.
I hope by opiates you don't mean your mothers aspirin, that will not kill you, but I can assure you really won't be getting a girl if you have to shit in a bag full of feces attatched around your waist for the rest of your life
Apsirin is pretty lethal stuff in OD amounts. 100 of those 325 mg tabs will burn a hole through the lining of your stomach and rupture your digestive juices in to your abdomen killing you in about 6 hours. It is one of the most agonizing deaths I can imagine. I have left out some of the gruesome details because they are nasty. You can off yourself with otc pain meds.
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Mycowlogist
Freethinker
Registered: 06/29/08
Posts: 525
Loc: in a galaxy far far away....
Last seen: 3 months, 23 days
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Why not do something selfless? You should commit to change your useless life into something positive, volunteer in some country and escape your current life. But if you are genuinely selfish and really don't have anything good to provide to this world then go for it. Since you have 4 months to think about you should plan other things. 1. Wear Adult Diapers, that way when you kill your self, you be less of a mess to look at for whoever finds you. 2. Think about saving money for the funeral or donate your body to science if you don't want to pay for it. 3.Make sure you don't end up being more useless after you are dead by leaving you family with your debt. Have a big sale on craigslist and sell everything the day before. Less cleaning for your family to do. 5. I am sure I am missing some other things, but I just can't keep writing. I got a life!
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"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Honest Abe
Edited by Mycowlogist (06/27/12 04:30 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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1. I will leave my laptop open on this page and if I have the time I will write a letter. I don't want them thinking I was murdered by some drug dealer or worse
2. Drive or get the bus up the mountains, trek through the forest and find a nice cozy spot under the shade of a tree or trees. Hopefully it is pin
3. I will have a bag with all my stuff, blanket, cocktail, alcohol, maybe some weed and bread.
4. I will eat my last meal here, drink some Jack to toughen me up and then smoke a doobie to make feel careless and oblivious.
5. I will make a phone call beforehand to say goodbye to my parents and siblings, I won't mention I'm going to off myself cause that will be quite awkward to handle. Perhaps if I'm bold enough I'll visit them and confess my wrongdoing to bring some closure, but still won't mention anything else. My path is clear. There is no reverse once I end this curse. I wish I could give my life or soul to someone who deserves it more than me, like a cancer victim or someone very ill.
6. I will play some tunes to have some background "noise", no point feeling lonely. After that I will down my cocktail, wrap myself in a blanket and then probably slit my wrists vertically to secure my end with no return.
7. Within 10 or 15 mins I shall have respiratory depression and then death. I have some tolerance for opiates so I know there will be a brief delay. My wrist wound will not seal due to the opiates and my mind will drift, eyes closing and vision blurring since I have dreamt of this many times. I know there is a chance it might take longer for me to die but it's slim and I hope it wont occur.
8. Somebody within the duration of a week or so shall find me or smell my decaying corpse. I pray for them my suicide scene will not haunt them forever. My family will get over my death, some may not but as always they do bottle it and bounce back up. I have a tough sturdy team of family members. They will surely help one another out during that painful time of remorse and grief. My death shall make them stronger and my younger siblings, nieces and nephews will become stronger people and hopefully loving as well. They will succeed in life unlike me.
There is a chance something may change my mind in the coming four months, but I still hold this idea at hand. If I find a girl or I see my future becoming brigjter than I shall inform you otherwise if there is no reply than you know what has become of me.
This is my last reply. I wish not to speak of this until the day.
Thank you. I love my family with all my heart but my soul is near to exhaustion, there is just enough soul within me to commit suicide. I'm dangerous and mentally ill. I would never forgive myself if I harmed them physically because of my illness. I have choosen the right path and I hope yo choose the right decision to forgive and forget. Everything and anything will only bring pain. Leave it be, I was long dead before you had the chance to save me. Love you all xxx xxx
Edited by Anonymous (06/27/12 08:38 AM)
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Anonymous #5
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Why are you waiting four months then? You could snort some bath salts and eat all their faces in that time
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Anonymous #7
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
1. I will leave my laptop open on this page and if I have the time I will write a letter. I don't want them thinking I was murdered by some drug dealer or worse
2. Drive or get the bus up the mountains, trek through the forest and find a nice cozy spot under the shade of a tree or trees. Hopefully it is pin
3. I will have a bag with all my stuff, blanket, cocktail, alcohol, maybe some weed and bread.
4. I will eat my last meal here, drink some Jack to toughen me up and then smoke a doobie to make feel careless and oblivious.
5. I will make a phone call beforehand to say goodbye to my parents and siblings, I won't mention I'm going to off myself cause that will be quite awkward to handle. Perhaps if I'm bold enough I'll visit them and confess my wrongdoing to bring some closure, but still won't mention anything else. My path is clear. There is no reverse once I end this curse. I wish I could give my life or soul to someone who deserves it more than me, like a cancer victim or someone very ill.
6. I will play some tunes to have some background "noise", no point feeling lonely. After that I will down my cocktail, wrap myself in a blanket and then probably slit my wrists vertically to secure my end with no return.
7. Within 10 or 15 mins I shall have respiratory depression and then death. I have some tolerance for opiates so I know there will be a brief delay. My wrist wound will not seal due to the opiates and my mind will drift, eyes closing and vision blurring since I have dreamt of this many times. I know there is a chance it might take longer for me to die but it's slim and I hope it wont occur.
8. Somebody within the duration of a week or so shall find me or smell my decaying corpse. I pray for them my suicide scene will not haunt them forever. My family will get over my death, some may not but as always they do bottle it and bounce back up. I have a tough sturdy team of family members. They will surely help one another out during that painful time of remorse and grief. My death shall make them stronger and my younger siblings, nieces and nephews will become stronger people and hopefully loving as well. They will succeed in life unlike me.
There is a chance something may change my mind in the coming four months, but I still hold this idea at hand. If I find a girl or I see my future becoming brigjter than I shall inform you otherwise if there is no reply than you know what has become of me.
This is my last reply. I wish not to speak of this until the day.
Thank you. I love my family with all my heart but my soul is near to exhaustion, there is just enough soul within me to commit suicide. I'm dangerous and mentally ill. I would never forgive myself if I harmed them physically because of my illness. I have choosen the right path and I hope yo choose the right decision to forgive and forget. Everything and anything will only bring pain. Leave it be, I was long dead before you had the chance to save me. Love you all xxx xxx
I planned my suicide than postponed it now I fucking regret it because I'm only prolonging the inevitable.
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Rail_Gun
wizard
Registered: 06/30/01
Posts: 9,270
Loc: Knockturn Alley
Last seen: 18 minutes, 15 seconds
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Screw the letter. Do you think that'll make it easier for anyone? The only way to make it mildly better for people who care about you is if you make it look like an accident doing something you enjoy. If you take up scuba diving or rock climbing for example. They'll take some comfort in that you "died doing what you loved." Being a suicide is a crappy way to be remembered.
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