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I am currently prescribed paxil, and it has been unexpectedly weird. I'm not going to type my life story, but hopefully enough for you to understand where I'm at (my main concern is mental health). I started taking paxil for both general and social anxiety, mostly social. I started off with 10mg per night. I didn't really notice many differences on that starting dose, except I got a better buzz from cigs. Since then I have worked my dose up to 30mg per night, and I have a doc appointment in a week at which he wants to up me to 40mg per night. He says that I shouldn't need a higher dose than 40mg, and plans to taper me off slowly after 6 months or so. I have never been a fan or advocate of antidepressants, but at the time my anxiety was bad enough that I gave paxil a try. I'm addicted to getting high - it's been years since I've been sober an entire day. When I started paxil I was addicted to both cigs and weed (using both daily; cigs multiple per day and weed once or twice a day). Now, I've quit cigs (almost 3 months without one!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but I feel much more addicted to weed. I realize that in order to quit cigs I fought off those terrible cravings and withdrawals by smoking more and more pot. Paxil makes up to 4x as much thc stay in your system or something, so my tolerance has gone through the roof. I honestly don't know if I'm getting high sometimes...
I have never been much of a drinker, but since I've started paxil I have gotten cravings for alcohol to the point where I've gone out and bought a bottle of wine or pint of vodka and finished it off 10 minutes later! I know that isn't that big of a deal, but I've never done that before paxil and dont even like vodka! I have heavily (ab)used adderall, vicodin, percocet, and tried most other drugs at some point in my life (mostly high school). I include this info because I know it has had an effect on my mental health. I'm a very nice guy who has gone through tons of trauma and difficult experiences. I'm damaged and scarred by things from long ago (and recently too), and even though I have moved on from most of it I still feel emotional pain that only seems dulled when I'm really messed up. I have had many positive and negative things happen since I started this SSRI, and obviously the paxil isn't the only cause for some of these. When I first started this med I took it every day like I was supposed to, but not at the same time. I have only skipped one or two doses total (for shroom trips). One time I took 10mg instead of 20mg because I was so happy and life seemed so good I wanted off! (Bad idea) I have been much better about timing and take it at the same time every night now, but shit does happen and sometimes I have to take my dose later than I'm supposed to.
Since starting paxil - I was able to quit cigarettes, people tell me I've seemed happier, I have felt less anxious overall (could be from no more nicotine), I have had more self-confidence, I have an amazing and beautiful girlfriend who happens to be the first girl I've been in a really serious relationship with that has lasted, we are both madly in love with each other and happy together, I lost my v-card to her and aside from the (sometimes extremely) delayed orgasms, I haven't noticed any other serious sexual problems. Life sounds perfect right? Why would I want to change anything? Well, I now feel emotionally unstable (I have had tons of emotional pain and stuff but never felt emotionally unstable before paxil), my brain feels like it's in a constant fog - my thoughts are all over the place, I have trouble concentrating, I'm often confused and can feel like a zombie, my memory is GONE (I will literally forget where I am, what I'm doing, what I'm talking about, what I was about to do, etc.) I get random waves of intense nausea that make me feel like I'm gonna puke to the point where I start sweating etc. Some days I feel great, others I feel so sad, lonely, worthless, failure, etc that I lie on the couch for hours just miserable wondering why I feel like life isn't worth living even with all the good. I often sit there reading post after post about others' experiences with paxil.
I'm curious if SSRI's affect you differently if you have a serious mental illness. I show many symptoms of schizophrenia (both visual/auditory hallucinations, delusions, confusion, mood swings, sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a cloudy maze with no way out, life can feel like torture, I have MASSIVE BLACKOUTS (can't remember days or even months at a time). I also have a history of heavy heavy heavy drug abuse, and continue to smoke mj daily (3-4 times a day). I know I have lots of screws loose and I don't expect anyone to diagnose me over the internet or have all the answers to my situation, but I'm looking for advice and opinions because I finally feel like I'm ready to solve my problems instead of drown them in substances. I want to stop taking paxil but at the same time I want to finish my treatment and rid myself of social anxiety! I have (ab)used almost every drug I can get my hands on (I realize now I was self medicating most of the time), but now I'm down to paxil pot and sometimes alcohol. I'd like to cut down my pot use, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to give it up for good.
I'm excited to hear your responses and sincerely appreciate your time.
when i was 12 years old i was put on paxil for severe obsessive complusive disorder.. It made my constant intrusive thoughts less intense as well as the black cloud of depression. My mom forced me off of them so i was only taking them for less then a year therefore i cant say if i really noticed any problems..
But for me personally, psychedelics (specifically mushrooms/ayahuasca) are much more effective treatment for what i had so im glad i made the switch when i discovered them..
i now have very good control over my OCD and don't relapse anymore and i'm almost never depressed.. I also understand how my mind works a lot more.
good luck with your situation man!
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Quote: SleepyE said: when i was 12 years old i was put on paxil for severe obsessive complusive disorder.. It made my constant intrusive thoughts less intense as well as the black cloud of depression. My mom forced me off of them so i was only taking them for less then a year therefore i cant say if i really noticed any problems..
But for me personally, psychedelics (specifically mushrooms/ayahuasca) are much more effective treatment for what i had so im glad i made the switch when i discovered them..
i now have very good control on my OCD and don't relapse anymore and i'm almost never depressed.. I also understand how my mind works a lot more.
good luck with your situation man!
Thanks! I'm glad to hear things worked out for you. I have heard that the paxil side effects can take years to go away after quitting, hopefully that's not the case!
yeah i was angry when my mother basically stole my pills and force me to stop taking them, but in retrospect she probably saved my brain from it because i do not trust taking drugs like that everyday for the rest of my life.
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My Trip Reports: DMTShroomsAMT
no matter what any medical practitioner tells you, mood medications will change your personality and cause some weird crap to happen. life is a chemical existence and when you take something every day to toy with your natural state, you're going to get strange. some people have less enjoyable natural states than others but that's just the way it is. i think it's better to find a way to live sober and maybe occasionally dipping into a mood-altering drug (if you must), but doing it every day. i dunno. changing myself like that every day, potentially numbing myself to things and being less aware of life. ruins the point, imo.
Dear anon, I wish I could've messaged you lol anyway, sorry to bump this thread but the same thing is happening to me. I am losing my shit and I swear I smoke an 1/8 a day for shits and giggles. I'm at exactly 30 mg, major ex drug user, quit smoking, etc... If you're still around, let me know how things are.
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Anonymous #1
Re: Should I Continue Taking SSRI'S? [Re: NameInUse] #16720764 - 08/18/12 03:59 PM (8 months, 28 days ago)
Quote: NameInUse said: Dear anon, I wish I could've messaged you lol anyway, sorry to bump this thread but the same thing is happening to me. I am losing my shit and I swear I smoke an 1/8 a day for shits and giggles. I'm at exactly 30 mg, major ex drug user, quit smoking, etc... If you're still around, let me know how things are.
I quit the paxil. Went from 30mg to 20mg, then down to 10mg a week later, then 0mg a week after that. The withdrawals were bizarre...first week I had double vision (felt kinda like ambien) and strange brainzaps that left me with headaches and a drunk feeling. The physical withdrawals were over in just under 2 weeks, but the emotional instability lasted over a month. I'm happy to say I'm off, I feel like it was the best decision. I'm currently taking 30mg XR Addy daily, and while I still smoke weed, I've cut down a lot. Looking back the paxil made me addicted to weed, I craved a bowl or two every few hours. Now, I rarely smoke more than 1 bowl a day unless I'm out having a good time with friends. I'm back in control. Congrats on quitting smoking, that is harder than quitting ssri's and is one of the hardest things I've done to this day. I'm almost 5 months without a ciggy. If you do choose to get off ssri's, I wish you the best and just know that like any withdrawals, the first two weeks are the roughest but time is in your favor and things will improve. Have a good day
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