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Quote: MisterMuscaria said: Never been in anything long term and Im 26. It never phases me or makes me feel sad until either A) someone points it out or really pushes the issue of asking about it B) I see couples madly in love.
I agree with this, I was in a relationship with the same girl for 3 years. After that I was pretty happy to be single but now when I focus on it I feel really lonely without someone in my life and I really hope someone will come my way to be with me soon. I can only hope though right ..
27, a delightful mix of social phobia and terrible self esteem = not so much as held someones hand. It's a bummer, especially since its the most important thing in the world to me. But, what are ya gonna do? If there was a trick, I'd have figured it out by now.
I do sometimes wonder if I dont have it better than normal people though. After all, in my fantasy version of love, I only have to experience the up sides. I can imagine so vividly the companionship and the support and the fun of it all that I can almost feel it, without ever having to experience the fights and let downs that come with reality. Of course, I'd still rather be disappointed by reality than dependent on fantasy.
-------------------- You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself. ~ Galileo
I'm 21 and I've only been in one relationship - being an introvert with social anxiety (especially around new people) and a hate for small talk is a decent part of the reason why there's only been the one. I also generally prefer my own company to the usual arrogant and selfish types that make up the majority of the population.
I was with her for 4 and a half years, I was deeply in love and even planned out how I would propose and started saving for a ring. It must be 2 years now since we broke up, probably a bit more.
Before that relationship I thought being single was hard... but being single after is way harder. I don't do one night stands. Sure, I'd jump at the chance to sleep with some hottie I knew I'd never see again, but that's not the kind of fulfilment I'm really looking for, nor is it the kind of situation I find myself in.
It took me a long time to adjust back to single life... Being around her used to alleviate the symptoms of my depression, especially early on in the relationship. I am also a people pleaser and love to be loved because of various things from my childhood.
I think relationships really bring out the best in me... And I'm damn good at all aspects of being in one, if I do say so myself.
Also, I hate to burst anyone's bubble but (for me at least) masturbation doesn't hold a candle to sex. Even if they did feel as good as one another physically, there's a spiritual aspect to sex with a partner you love that you just can't describe or beat. Maybe that's just the people pleaser part of me, but I'm pretty damn sure there's more to it than that.
I'm good-looking, smart and funny (much funnier than my cold and serious e-persona would have you believe!) and I'm very generous in bed. Finding an intelligent girl who is average (or better) looking who I can connect with shouldn't be this hard!
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Quote: Infinitys Minute said: I'm 21 and I've only been in one relationship - being an introvert with social anxiety (especially around new people) and a hate for small talk is a decent part of the reason why there's only been the one. I also generally prefer my own company to the usual arrogant and selfish types that make up the majority of the population.
I was with her for 4 and a half years, I was deeply in love and even planned out how I would propose and started saving for a ring. It must be 2 years now since we broke up, probably a bit more.
Before that relationship I thought being single was hard... but being single after is way harder. I don't do one night stands. Sure, I'd jump at the chance to sleep with some hottie I knew I'd never see again, but that's not the kind of fulfilment I'm really looking for, nor is it the kind of situation I find myself in.
It took me a long time to adjust back to single life... Being around her used to alleviate the symptoms of my depression, especially early on in the relationship. I am also a people pleaser and love to be loved because of various things from my childhood.
I think relationships really bring out the best in me... And I'm damn good at all aspects of being in one, if I do say so myself.
Also, I hate to burst anyone's bubble but (for me at least) masturbation doesn't hold a candle to sex. Even if they did feel as good as one another physically, there's a spiritual aspect to sex with a partner you love that you just can't describe or beat. Maybe that's just the people pleaser part of me, but I'm pretty damn sure there's more to it than that.
I'm good-looking, smart and funny (much funnier than my cold and serious e-persona would have you believe!) and I'm very generous in bed. Finding an intelligent girl who is average (or better) looking who I can connect with shouldn't be this hard!
All big signs of insecurity and "Nice Guy Syndrome"
No need to roll your eyes or say it like it's such a terrible thing... I admit to having both of those things and know the cause. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, either.
I don't think the 'signs' you pointed out are necessarily indicative of insecurity and 'nice guy syndrome' in general, though... Why can't a guy be a generous lover who enjoys being in a committed relationship and hates pompous jackasses? Seems pretty innocent to me.
Why put so much effort you put into pointing out and picking at others' flaws? Seems like you're more insecure than I am.
Quote: MisterMuscaria said: Never been in anything long term and Im 26. It never phases me or makes me feel sad until either A) someone points it out or really pushes the issue of asking about it B) I see couples madly in love.
Same here, but twenty. Had a few hook ups in the past, but no serious girl friends. On one hand, I am totally fine with it, until your points of a and b are brought up haha, we think exactly alike.
I also do dig the concept of no strings attached relationships, but that's in no way saying I wouldn't enter a relationship with someone. They would just have to be very very cool... I have a very low tolerance for most people, it might be a bad quality, but it's the truth and I admit it. I also don't like that whole not getting into a relationship because of worries about the future... I had this thing going with a girl a few months ago, and she wound up opting out of having a relationship because of our differing opinions on the future, having kids (I want NONE), etc. Like girl, you are NINETEEN, you are going to scare EVERY fucking guy off talking about that shit.... What the FUCK are you worried about that for at NINETEEN? Just fucking go with it, enjoy yourself and your relationship, and that's it. At least in my opinion. People think too much into things. Whatever - I guess that was a blessing in disguise, that girl probably has some issues.
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sheekle: fuck peace love and unity
sheekle: death despair and misery
sheekle: is where it's
"Foremost among them was the suspicion that my strange and ungovernable instincts might do me in before I had a chance to get rich. No matter how much I wanted all those things that I needed money to buy, there was some devilish current pushing me off in another direction – toward anarchy and poverty and craziness. That maddening delusion that a man can lead a decent life without hiring himself out as a Judas Goat." - The good Doctor
Quote: Infinitys Minute said: No need to roll your eyes or say it like it's such a terrible thing... I admit to having both of those things and know the cause. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, either.
I don't think the 'signs' you pointed out are necessarily indicative of insecurity and 'nice guy syndrome' in general, though... Why can't a guy be a generous lover who enjoys being in a committed relationship and hates pompous jackasses? Seems pretty innocent to me.
Why put so much effort you put into pointing out and picking at others' flaws? Seems like you're more insecure than I am.
Edited for typos etc.
I'm mostly pointing out the ridiculous oxymoron - "I don't like your typical arrogant person - me, I'm awesome in every way, AND a great lover to boot!"
Myself, I've been single for about 9 months now. Before that I had been in 2 different relationships for 4 years total, with not enough time in between.
I would like some sex in the near future, but otherwise I'm very happy being single. I am currently at a point in my life where I have no clue where I'm going, or really what I'm looking for, in life, in a job, or in a mate.
I can't see myself getting into a seriously relationship for a couple years for sure, I have a few things to figure out about myself and my life first.
i had a pretty serious relationship seven years ago that lasted about two years. once that ended i tried and tried again to "find the one" but nothing even came close to the connection i had with my first "real love." went on dates with many girls only to realize this whole "search for love" was causing me FAR more pain in the end. it was like this horrible yearning for the other half i just couldn't find.
i've come to terms with the fact that not only am i probably going to be single the rest of my life, but that my life will be better off that way. for the past three years i have put off all expectations, and haven't put any effort whatsoever in finding someone to compliment me. surprisingly, i have been MORE AT PEACE in that time period than i ever was "searching for love."
psychedelics have also showed me that literally EVERYTHING i need is within me. it is completely and totally possible to feel whole without a partner...probably easier in fact. i feel like my search for a partner was just me trying to cover up a sense of lack i had within myself. i've grown to love the freedom of being single and don't see myself ever trying to find a partner again. there is no other half to find...it's already within
Quote: pwnasaurus said: I'm mostly pointing out the ridiculous oxymoron - "I don't like your typical arrogant person - me, I'm awesome in every way, AND a great lover to boot!"
It's taken me a long time to raise my confidence and self-image. I don't think it's arrogant at all to describe in a thread like this why I thought I would make a good partner, especially in the specific context I explained it in. I don't go around putting others down or blabbing on about how great I think I am in real life (I'm not full of myself at all, if anything I still have slight self esteem issues), and tend not to online either - people who put others down and rat on about how awesome they are as a display of 'higher status' (what the fuck is up with that? we're all equals) I find to be stupid and ape-like which is what I was referring to, specifically. I also don't like it that you misquoted me and I certainly don't like it that you intend your posts to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it wrong to think I would make a more than adequate mate? It's not like anyone here knows me in person and can judge me on the things I mentioned - I thought it useful to give a brief description to point out that I am not single because of being an unappealing person.
For the first time in my life I feel like I can describe myself as an appealing person... Don't put me back in that box. Try not to make light of others' battles in future... it's a pretty cunty thing to do, and your attempted low blows are not appreciated at all.
You think I'm a bit of a dick it seems, and I certainly think you're a bit of a dick. Can't we just leave it alone, agree to disagree on this point and be civil?
19, never been in a relationship and never had sex. I seldom talk to friends (in person) nowadays since high school ended. Life is just extremely boring right now.
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Re: Anyone here been mostly a single person throughout ur life? [Re: Bawks] #16244104 - 05/17/12 09:27 AM (1 year, 6 days ago)
I'm 30 basically been single most of my life. It seems that women in the beginning enjoy my company seem to be into me but after a month or so they dip. Last the girl I was involved really broke me emotionally loved her, I did everything I could think for the hopes that she might try to make things work. But in the end she didn't want my ass. So now I'm picking up the pieces and pretty much trying to accept the fact that I'll never have that happy ending. I've had a lot of sexual experiences, did threesomes, fucked my way through Europe for month, but now that all just feels hollow and I don't really relish a future of loneliness. I don't want to be that old person in the club trolling for sex. I want to settle down have a wife and kids. I have respectable employment, keep in good shape, have money to spoil with, no kids, on paper I seem decent. But now after this last chick I would be lying if I said my confidence wasn't majorly damaged.
i was in a relatiohship for 4 months and thats the longest ive gotten
living the single life is soooooooo much fucking easier and cheaper, spendimg money on bitches sucks when ur trying to save up money
when ur single u can do whatever the fuck you want and its way better
only thing better about a gf is constant sex, other than that its like whyyyy
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"Are you serious? You ask for a reduction in your ban (and get one), and you don't even have the decency to reciprocate with a little bit of goodwill toward the people who volunteer their time here? The only thing I asked of you is to keep your asshole comments in check, and one of the first things you do after I reduce your ban is to troll a moderator. That shitty attitude isn't going to fly."
I've never had a relationship, just friends with benefit type stuff and a couple hook ups here and there. Finally looking for a relationship, I'm only 18 though.
-------------------- Take up your china doll... It's only fractured, just a little nervous from the fall.
been single most my life. dated a small number of women, a couple 4-6 month stints, and the rest 2-6 weeks each. one off and on for 3 years every few months
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