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Anonymous #1
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 damn 
#16266415 - 05/22/12 08:03 AM (1 year, 2 hours ago) |
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I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. I like him a lot and I know he really likes me because he tells me all the time. Things seem to be going pretty nice, we get along well and the sex is alright......
But, I've always had a fantasy about having sex with an older man who has similar interests and I get along with. I fantasize about a man around 40-45 or maybe a little older. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 21.
Since it seems like our relationship is getting more and more serious every day, I feel like I will never be able to fulfill this fantasy of mine 
I know I'm only 22 and I don't know how long our relationship will last, but I'll be 23 soon and part of my fantasy is to still be fairly young if I ever met an older man I could fuck.
Is this a fucked up fetish??  I don't know why this is such a turn on to me but I think about it all the time.
Edited by Anonymous (05/22/12 08:51 AM)
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 Sleepwalker
Overshoes
Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 4,159
Last seen: 7 hours, 3 minutes
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Dumping your friend and lover to search for a fantasy that is only in your head...that's your choice, but if you do so you'd better not go crawling back to your man later and fuck with his head. Personally this sounds like a mistake. Just rub one out to a picture of some old dude and move on.
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46 and 2
Zen Masta
 
Registered: 03/02/12
Posts: 255
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 19 days, 20 hours
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When you post stuff like this, it makes people wonder if your current relationship would even work or last. Think a lot about yourself, who you are, and what you want.
"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." - Shakespeare.
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Even if it seems certain that you will lose, retaliate. Neither wisdom or technique has a place in this. A real man does not think of victory or defeat. He plunges recklessly towards an irrational death. By doing this, you will awaken from your dreams. - Tsunetomo Yamamoto
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Sleepwalker said:
Dumping your friend and lover to search for a fantasy that is only in your head...that's your choice, but if you do so you'd better not go crawling back to your man later and fuck with his head. Personally this sounds like a mistake. Just rub one out to a picture of some old dude and move on.
I didn't say anything about dumping him. You're right though, it is just a fantasy in my head and I've tried what you've suggested many times, but it seems like my mind just can't get rid of it.
I guess I just don't understand why I feel so depressed about the situation 
Quote:
46 and 2 said:
When you post stuff like this, it makes people wonder if your current relationship would even work or last. Think a lot about yourself, who you are, and what you want.
"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." - Shakespeare.
Do you really believe a relationship doesn't have a chance because of a fantasy or fetish one partner has that the other cannot fulfill?
Edited by Anonymous (05/22/12 08:39 AM)
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Sleepwalker
Overshoes
Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 4,159
Last seen: 7 hours, 3 minutes
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If you aren't thinking about dumping him, I guess I don't fully understand your post. Please don't be a cheater, it sucks.
Quote:
Do you really believe a relationship doesn't have a chance because of a fantasy or fetish one partner has that the other cannot fulfill?
I know this wasn't directed at me, but is this fantasy really that big of a deal? Dick is dick, in the end.
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Simms
Fuckwit
Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 1,093
Loc: Somewhere in Europe
Last seen: 18 days, 10 minutes
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I don't understand these fantasies. Your mind is still young and hence everything is a play, even the relationship and sex.
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46 and 2
Zen Masta
Registered: 03/02/12
Posts: 255
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 19 days, 20 hours
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Do you really believe a relationship doesn't have a chance because of a fantasy or fetish one partner has that the other cannot fulfill?
Hmm... I dunno, could you just wait for your current boyfriend to grow older and just bang him then? Basically fulfilling your fantasy... Just have to be a bit patient. Lol.
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Even if it seems certain that you will lose, retaliate. Neither wisdom or technique has a place in this. A real man does not think of victory or defeat. He plunges recklessly towards an irrational death. By doing this, you will awaken from your dreams. - Tsunetomo Yamamoto
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Infinitys Minute
a universe inside each moment
Registered: 11/02/11
Posts: 1,608
Loc: Zion 
Last seen: 4 hours, 23 minutes
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There's nothing wrong with having that fantasy - don't let it eat you up inside.
It's perfectly normal to be with a person and want something they can't provide... and it doesn't mean anything major when it comes to your relationship in general.
It seems like you just need to chill out, be at peace with yourself and acknowledge it as a perfectly healthy and normal part of yourself.
I'm semi-familiar what you're going through...
Just like you I had this silly worry I couldn't shake - I knew that I should spend my time thinking about what I have rather than what I couldn't, but the idea plagued me. I was in a >4 year relationship that started at when I was very young, and I freaked out on the idea that staying with that one girl the rest of my life (as I planned to at the time) would mean I'd only ever get to be in a relationship with one person...
I regret spending time worrying about 'what if's because it just made me feel guilty and sad, when I could have lived in the moment and really enjoyed what I had at the time.
Just stop worrying about it, take everything as it comes and be true to your feelings - if you do that, you can't go wrong!
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 FishOilTheKid
Abducted
Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 3,046
Last seen: 2 minutes, 33 seconds
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Crazy. I'm single and I fantasize a little about older women.
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Anonymous #2
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I'm an older guy and something very similar happened to me. She was 25 and I was 45 at the time. She told me that she didn't want to leave her guy but only wanted to "hook up" with me to get it out of system. Of course, I obliged her wishes.
Well, it turned out that she wasn't satisfied with just one hook up. We started having weekend getaways and her guy found out she was f'ing around on him. She came clean with him and it broke them up.
Not sure I really have any advice here...just maybe that if you're gonna do it, don't get involved with the older guy.
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 SoreSpore
Sweet & Cuddly
Registered: 03/06/12
Posts: 6,482
Loc: Under The Blankets
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Is this a fucked up fetish??
No. But ruining a 1 year relationship over a sexual desire that will pass is the redefining what fucked up is.
Do as you wish, but why not address this issue with your man?
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mick
living in perverty
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 7,945
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 7 hours, 26 minutes
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good to know when im 40, 22 year old girls will still be fantasizing about me
if your relationship with your boyfriend is THAT good, why not let him in on your fantasy? maybe he can dress up like an old dude for you, spray some wrinkles on his balls or something. good relationships are those when you can share that kind of stuff openly. not as good relationships are those where you have to keep that kind of stuff to yourself
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http://kittiesntitties.tumblr.com/
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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Lynnch
Strangerer
Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 4,236
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Lol 'Hey honey, I want to fuck an older (another) man' Thats going to go over realll well 
It's perfectly normal to have fantasies and desires. But its up to you to decide how big of a deal it is to you. Some things are best left as a fantasy you can think of at any time and enjoy. But maybe this isn't really a fetish, maybe you're simply more attracted to older men. Would you like a relationship with this man, or would it just be a one time fling?
Tossing away a year long good relationship for a one night stand would be silly, I think you would regret that. And you have an entire decade or more to be young and experience different things.
Seems like the seriousness of your relationship is whats really freaking you out, so maybe take some time to figure out what you want?
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FishOilTheKid
Abducted
Registered: 11/14/10
Posts: 3,046
Last seen: 2 minutes, 33 seconds
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 Re: damn [Re: mick]
#16267284 - 05/22/12 01:11 PM (11 months, 23 days ago) |
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Sleepwalker
Overshoes
Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 4,159
Last seen: 7 hours, 3 minutes
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Re: damn [Re: mick]
#16267765 - 05/22/12 03:12 PM (11 months, 23 days ago) |
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Quote:
mick said:
spray some wrinkles on his balls or something
what the fuck? hahaha
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks for the advice guys!
Quote:
Infinitys Minute said:
There's nothing wrong with having that fantasy - don't let it eat you up inside.
It's perfectly normal to be with a person and want something they can't provide... and it doesn't mean anything major when it comes to your relationship in general.
It seems like you just need to chill out, be at peace with yourself and acknowledge it as a perfectly healthy and normal part of yourself.
I'm semi-familiar what you're going through...
Just like you I had this silly worry I couldn't shake - I knew that I should spend my time thinking about what I have rather than what I couldn't, but the idea plagued me. I was in a >4 year relationship that started at when I was very young, and I freaked out on the idea that staying with that one girl the rest of my life (as I planned to at the time) would mean I'd only ever get to be in a relationship with one person...
I regret spending time worrying about 'what if's because it just made me feel guilty and sad, when I could have lived in the moment and really enjoyed what I had at the time.
Just stop worrying about it, take everything as it comes and be true to your feelings - if you do that, you can't go wrong!
Thank you especially for posting this, I can really relate.
I don't think I should tell my boyfriend about this because, well, what is he going to do about it? I never planned on cheating or anything like that, it's just something I've wanted for a long time and it really sucks that I can't just get it out of my head. I've chatted with a couple of older guys on this board in the past and we became friends. I don't talk to them much anymore but I still can't help thinking 'what if'. 
Anyway, thanks again for the stories and advice. I guess I just needed a place to vent as no one in my life knows about this fantasy of mine.
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Anonymous #3
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think of it this way, hes gonna be 40 some day, and you'll have your fantasy.
just be patient..
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withoutawire
Bunny Lover
Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 10,915
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 1 hour, 5 minutes
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. I like him a lot and I know he really likes me because he tells me all the time. Things seem to be going pretty nice, we get along well and the sex is alright......
But, I've always had a fantasy about having sex with an older man who has similar interests and I get along with. I fantasize about a man around 40-45 or maybe a little older. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 21.
Since it seems like our relationship is getting more and more serious every day, I feel like I will never be able to fulfill this fantasy of mine
I know I'm only 22 and I don't know how long our relationship will last, but I'll be 23 soon and part of my fantasy is to still be fairly young if I ever met an older man I could fuck.
Is this a fucked up fetish?? I don't know why this is such a turn on to me but I think about it all the time.
So how did your father treat you growing up?
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Anonymous #1
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He treated me fine! We have a great relationship  I don't feel like this stems from my parents at all. It's just something I'm into  Older men are sexy to me.
Quote:
Anonymous said:
think of it this way, hes gonna be 40 some day, and you'll have your fantasy.
just be patient..
Then I will be 40 too.
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Anonymous #3
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well then you can go around bangin grampas.
or if thats too young u can visit the morgue im sure they got some people who died of old age
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