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I applied at ( guessing ) 20 different places. Including Mcdonalds.
Today I applied at a few more car dealerships I missed. One of them was hiring, but the manager wouldn't give me an on the spot interview.
Though, I was well dressed. Khaki's, tucked in button up, black tie, I put on my non dork glasses, my baluva watch, tie clip, and loafers.
One dealership said "We might let you volunteer here as a mechanic so you can learn, but we have to check the legalities of it first. Someone will call you."
I'm doubting they will call me back.
For about an hour I was really down on myself. I have no where else to apply in this area, and I can't afford to move to an area with more job opportunities. I must have smoked 4 cigarettes in that hour.
I got home, took off my tie, untucked my shirt, took off my watch, and just laid on the couch.
I just closed my eyes, and let my body be still. And it hit me.
I still have a cash flow. I haven't done opiates in a while ( recreationally ) I've quit pot, though tempted many a times, I never caved. And aside from that one hour of chain smoking, I haven't had a cigarette in a few hours now.
I feel relaxed, and at peace.
My wife is very supportive to. She told me everything was okay, and we'd be fine. It's so cliche, but it made me at ease.
It's been awhile since I've felt this kind of happiness. It's not overwhelming, it's not underwhelming. It's just... peaceful.
The universe isn't helping me out right now, but I have a feeling it has a plan for me.
Also, looking at pictures of my daughter in ultra-sound is making me feel nice. I can't wait to see her beautiful face.
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