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 Psilly_Wrabbit
Stranger
Registered: 12/17/08
Posts: 48
Last seen: 1 month, 2 days
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 What's your take? Opinions wanted 
#16238561 - 05/16/12 07:25 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Good day fellow shroomites. So I've found myself in a bit of a conundrum. My gf and I have been an item for nearly 2 and a half years. It started out as a long distance relationship, and within the past 10 months, we've moved from Ohio to Texas to live together. About 4 days ago, I was presented with a rare opportunity. A company in Texas wants to franchise in Ohio and wants me to run the show. It's a legimate 6 figure marketing career, of which I have been in pursuit for over a year and a half.
After I picked my gf up from work a few hours ago, I asked her how she would feel about moving to Cincinnati with me, and she got pissed. She didn't even think about it; no hesitation at all, she just said she's not moving back period. Meanwhile, she's working a full time job making MAYBE $220 a week. I've had to pay her rent in Ohio and our rent down here, and I've never thrown that in her face neither directly nor indirectly so much as a single time. I feel like you're supposed to look out for a person you love, and this opportunity I have will better allow me to look out for her and me, as well as the rest of both our families. I honestly don't think it's possible to do more for a person than I've done for her, save donating a vital organ. She keeps saying this is her home now and she's sacrificed too much to move down here for her to go back to Ohio. She's sacrificed a lot but so have I, and I feel like that shits being completely overlooked right now. She thinks I'm being selfish for wanting to go, and I feel like she's being selfish for wanting to stay.
Any input?
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Simms
Fuckwit
 
Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 1,093
Loc: Somewhere in Europe
Last seen: 4 hours, 31 minutes
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Tell her exactly what you told us.
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Psilly_Wrabbit
Stranger
Registered: 12/17/08
Posts: 48
Last seen: 1 month, 2 days
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Re: What's your take? Opinions wanted [Re: Simms]
#16238636 - 05/16/12 08:06 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I did, my friend. Verbatim. She got quiet, turned over, and said she's tired and "we'll finish talking about this in the morning." Funny how I never hear that when she makes a more poignant point than me.
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Anonymous #1
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Take the opportunity. If she doesn't want to move, its time to part ways.
Do not give up your dreams for a relationship. If your partner cannot let you grow, then they are not the right partner for you, and you are going to become resentful in a few years if you stay together, at what could have been, or if you break up, it will be even worse as a huge lost opportunity.
I made the mistake of giving everything up for a relationship back when I was younger. I had to learn the hard way. Of course the relationship ended and I was left with nothing.
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 pwnasaurus
Stranger
Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 8,672
Loc: Canada 
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Re: What's your take? Opinions wanted [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16239029 - 05/16/12 10:35 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Take the opportunity. If she doesn't want to move, its time to part ways.
Do not give up your dreams for a relationship. If your partner cannot let you grow, then they are not the right partner for you, and you are going to become resentful in a few years if you stay together, at what could have been, or if you break up, it will be even worse as a huge lost opportunity.
I made the mistake of giving everything up for a relationship back when I was younger. I had to learn the hard way. Of course the relationship ended and I was left with nothing.
This.
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CureCat
Strangest
Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 14,036
Loc: clawing your furniture
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Tell her you're moving and she can come live with you in Ohio or stay in Texas.
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Psilly_Wrabbit
Stranger
Registered: 12/17/08
Posts: 48
Last seen: 1 month, 2 days
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Re: What's your take? Opinions wanted [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16239785 - 05/16/12 01:40 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
Take the opportunity. If she doesn't want to move, its time to part ways.
Do not give up your dreams for a relationship. If your partner cannot let you grow, then they are not the right partner for you, and you are going to become resentful in a few years if you stay together, at what could have been, or if you break up, it will be even worse as a huge lost opportunity.
I made the mistake of giving everything up for a relationship back when I was younger. I had to learn the hard way. Of course the relationship ended and I was left with nothing.
Thanks very much for the words of wisdom. They don't fall on deaf ears. And thanks CureCat, I was trying to avoid giving her an ultimatum, but since she's pretty much given me one, it doesn't seem I have much choice.
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trekie
Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 4,911
Loc: Large city 
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At one point it becomes more about your own future then the future with "us"
and dude you would resent her hardcore.
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I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
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Bassfreak
Bass in Your Face
Registered: 08/25/10
Posts: 4,684
Last seen: 5 days, 5 hours
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Re: What's your take? Opinions wanted [Re: trekie]
#16241249 - 05/16/12 06:53 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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your gonna let some bitch you have been with for 10 months stand btwn you and at least 100,000 dollars a year?
be like im moving, come wth me or break up cuz how many opportunities come up like this? dont be retarded and take the job and hopefully she comes to her senses and follows you
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"Please take a break from OTD. You are obsessed with Burke to the point of threatening rape to his fiance. Please stop with the drama about Burke because you were banned elsewhere on the site for harassing/trolling him"
"Are you serious? You ask for a reduction in your ban (and get one), and you don't even have the decency to reciprocate with a little bit of goodwill toward the people who volunteer their time here? The only thing I asked of you is to keep your asshole comments in check, and one of the first things you do after I reduce your ban is to troll a moderator. That shitty attitude isn't going to fly."
Ban O Matic points - 66
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Psilly_Wrabbit
Stranger
Registered: 12/17/08
Posts: 48
Last seen: 1 month, 2 days
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Re: What's your take? Opinions wanted [Re: Bassfreak]
#16242039 - 05/16/12 09:29 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Lol thanks for the bro hug Trek. I'm hoping she does come to her damn senses. I've already got my mind made I'm taking the job, I've just been wondering if there's any merit to her thinking I'm an asshole for making her move again, because if there is, I don't see it. She keeps saying it's not about the money and I keep saying thats easy for her to say when I've been pulling her weight and mine. Two years and some change is a lot of time invested, but I've been chasing this opportunity for nearly as long. She knew before we even moved down here that this was my goal.
I already know that after the first couple of months she can't make rent by herself, she'll want to come, but I won't want her to by that point. It just sucks she can't see I'm doing this for her as much as I am for myself. Well, almost as much lol but still.
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phaded
Wu Li
Registered: 02/03/12
Posts: 1,284
Loc: Magreenery
Last seen: 7 days, 7 hours
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Good. I'm glad you're gonna take the job. A six figure salary isn't something everyone has the opportunity to have and to not take it because of a girl is absurd. You're making the right decision! She'll see that soon enough!
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You are me and I am you. I'll always be with you.
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Anonymous #2
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Quote:
Psilly_Wrabbit said:
Lol thanks for the bro hug Trek. I'm hoping she does come to her damn senses. I've already got my mind made I'm taking the job, I've just been wondering if there's any merit to her thinking I'm an asshole for making her move again, because if there is, I don't see it. She keeps saying it's not about the money and I keep saying thats easy for her to say when I've been pulling her weight and mine. Two years and some change is a lot of time invested, but I've been chasing this opportunity for nearly as long. She knew before we even moved down here that this was my goal.
I already know that after the first couple of months she can't make rent by herself, she'll want to come, but I won't want her to by that point. It just sucks she can't see I'm doing this for her as much as I am for myself. Well, almost as much lol but still.
 Welcome to the minor league. Next step is 500k a year 
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withoutawire
Bunny Lover
Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 10,941
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 22 hours, 14 minutes
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Re: What's your take? Opinions wanted [Re: Anonymous #2]
#16242755 - 05/16/12 11:41 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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TAKE THE JOB.
Please, please take the job. If it's meant to be you two can work it out. Don't fuck with your career because of some woman.
ps, take the fucking job
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Anonymous #3
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Be thankful she is a gf and not a wife. Look out for your best interest...she's obviously looking out for what she wants.
Honestly, I dated my wife for three years and two months into marriage I realize that she is only interested in what she wants. I'm miserable and wish I could just lose her.
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naturesrevolt
StrangerOfAwesome
Registered: 05/28/11
Posts: 518
Loc: michigan
Last seen: 2 days, 6 hours
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Re: What's your take? Opinions wanted [Re: withoutawire]
#16242872 - 05/17/12 12:00 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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If you can afford it (with 6 figures you might) I'd recommend not moving immediately but instead staying where you work for a week or so (depending upon your hours) come back for the days you have off, then go again and see how she gets on without you.
Otherwise, I would recommend to take the job since it's been a goal and passion of yours, but if she's that important to you too then keep in communication with her until some conclusion.
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Wallflower
Registered: 05/10/12
Posts: 721
Last seen: 9 months, 22 days
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Edited by Wallflower (07/23/12 02:08 AM)
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