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Trypppy said:
I have grown up (and am still I suppose) in a catholic home and have attended catholic school from pre school to my senior year of high school, which I have two weeks left of. I consider myself to be a fairly smart person, at least in terms of academics, with a 4.1 gpa and a 1510 on my two part SAT. I am not posting here to brag, but I do feel intelligence makes all the difference in a persons beliefs so I figure it is relevant to the topic.
        For the past four or so years I have suffered from depression (self diagnosed, I have never actually spoken with anyone about this) for no real reason, or at least not one I could place a finger on. A trip I had a few months back brought me to the realization (the most profound and lasting realization I have had on a psychedelic) that the cause of all my mental stress is my own uncertainty. I look at the world around me and the things I have learned, and I see no room for god. I have spent a good many hours sitting, thinking about the possibility of god, and I cannot find it in myself to blindly follow the path laid before me by a long line of ignorance.
        Were my thought process to end there, I wouldn’t really have an issue. However, I cannot shake this constant feeling of emptiness in the thought of a world with no god, what seems to me a world without any meaning or value. I get this sense in my gut (perhaps simply from the fifteen years of catholic schooling ) that there really is a God out there, and my logic is useless in freeing me from this burden, this urge to believe.

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You're on your way to becoming an atheist.

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OrgoneConclusion said:
Faith & Reason

When I ask people about their specific faith, they do give reasons, just nonsensical ones.

If you can have faith in one thing without evidence then you can have faith in unlimited things. You could have faith that you can survive being shot unharmed or that some deity wants you to hurt another human being. There are no limits.

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I have made this exact point to people I often find myself defending the the bible and christianity in general even though I see and acknowledge its many flaws, and likewise I just as often argue against christianity, even though I feel this urge to just accept it.

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reeferaddict69 said:

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Trypppy said:
I have grown up (and am still I suppose) in a catholic home and have attended catholic school from pre school to my senior year of high school, which I have two weeks left of. I consider myself to be a fairly smart person, at least in terms of academics, with a 4.1 gpa and a 1510 on my two part SAT. I am not posting here to brag, but I do feel intelligence makes all the difference in a persons beliefs so I figure it is relevant to the topic.
        For the past four or so years I have suffered from depression (self diagnosed, I have never actually spoken with anyone about this) for no real reason, or at least not one I could place a finger on. A trip I had a few months back brought me to the realization (the most profound and lasting realization I have had on a psychedelic) that the cause of all my mental stress is my own uncertainty. I look at the world around me and the things I have learned, and I see no room for god. I have spent a good many hours sitting, thinking about the possibility of god, and I cannot find it in myself to blindly follow the path laid before me by a long line of ignorance.
        Were my thought process to end there, I wouldn’t really have an issue. However, I cannot shake this constant feeling of emptiness in the thought of a world with no god, what seems to me a world without any meaning or value. I get this sense in my gut (perhaps simply from the fifteen years of catholic schooling ) that there really is a God out there, and my logic is useless in freeing me from this burden, this urge to believe.

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You're on your way to becoming an atheist.

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Well I hope thats a good thing, then! 

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Trypppy said:

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reeferaddict69 said:

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Trypppy said:
I have grown up (and am still I suppose) in a catholic home and have attended catholic school from pre school to my senior year of high school, which I have two weeks left of. I consider myself to be a fairly smart person, at least in terms of academics, with a 4.1 gpa and a 1510 on my two part SAT. I am not posting here to brag, but I do feel intelligence makes all the difference in a persons beliefs so I figure it is relevant to the topic.
        For the past four or so years I have suffered from depression (self diagnosed, I have never actually spoken with anyone about this) for no real reason, or at least not one I could place a finger on. A trip I had a few months back brought me to the realization (the most profound and lasting realization I have had on a psychedelic) that the cause of all my mental stress is my own uncertainty. I look at the world around me and the things I have learned, and I see no room for god. I have spent a good many hours sitting, thinking about the possibility of god, and I cannot find it in myself to blindly follow the path laid before me by a long line of ignorance.
        Were my thought process to end there, I wouldn’t really have an issue. However, I cannot shake this constant feeling of emptiness in the thought of a world with no god, what seems to me a world without any meaning or value. I get this sense in my gut (perhaps simply from the fifteen years of catholic schooling ) that there really is a God out there, and my logic is useless in freeing me from this burden, this urge to believe.

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You're on your way to becoming an atheist.

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Well I hope thats a good thing, then! 

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Freedom said:
The irrationality of the sources of meaning is pretty common topic here.

I'm interested how you would describe meaning. What does meaning mean to you?

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blingbling said:
read my sig. i think it will make sense to you. also read becker and join my cult....  we have cookies

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I thoroughly enjoyed that quote (and I also like cookies ) so that seems like a viable option here

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Trypppy said:
Thanks for the encouragement! Are these torn feelings common? It really has been a source of much distress for me for what seems like forever, waiting for the day I wake up and don’t have to try and find meaning for everything

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"The man with the clear head is the man who frees himself from those fantastic ideas (the characterological lie about reality) and looks life in the face, realizes that everything in it is problematic, and feels lost. And this is the simple truth - that to live is to feel lost - he who accepts it has already begun to find himself, to be on firm ground. Instinctively, as do the shipwrecked, he will look round for something to which to cling, and that tragic, ruthless glance, absolutely sincere, because it is a question of his salvation, will cause him to bring order into the chaos of his life. These are the only genuine ideas; the ideas of the shipwrecked." - Ernest Becker [/quote

That's actually from Kierkegaard, except for what's in the parenthesis.


I felt a great sense of relief reading that. My whole life I've felt that we don't know what the fuck is going on, yet we're surrounded by fools who believe with certainty. Its like a constant struggle with people, wishing that we could all acknowledge and start from the truth which is our deep lack of knowledge.

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Freedom said:
ok but why do you want purpose, why are you not content with being inconsequential? Why do want to affect other people or the world? Why do you want to be part of the world?


I'm rally interested in what you think about it.

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Trypppy said:
I have grown up (and am still I suppose) in a catholic home and have attended catholic school from pre school to my senior year of high school, which I have two weeks left of. I consider myself to be a fairly smart person, at least in terms of academics, with a 4.1 gpa and a 1510 on my two part SAT. I am not posting here to brag, but I do feel intelligence makes all the difference in a persons beliefs so I figure it is relevant to the topic.
        For the past four or so years I have suffered from depression (self diagnosed, I have never actually spoken with anyone about this) for no real reason, or at least not one I could place a finger on. A trip I had a few months back brought me to the realization (the most profound and lasting realization I have had on a psychedelic) that the cause of all my mental stress is my own uncertainty. I look at the world around me and the things I have learned, and I see no room for god. I have spent a good many hours sitting, thinking about the possibility of god, and I cannot find it in myself to blindly follow the path laid before me by a long line of ignorance.
        Were my thought process to end there, I wouldn’t really have an issue. However, I cannot shake this constant feeling of emptiness in the thought of a world with no god, what seems to me a world without any meaning or value. I get this sense in my gut (perhaps simply from the fifteen years of catholic schooling ) that there really is a God out there, and my logic is useless in freeing me from this burden, this urge to believe.

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Trypppy said:
Without a purpose how can one find the motivation to do anything? If my life is nothing more than a sequence of events with an ending that brings me no closer to a goal than I was when I started, why bother? I know the general cliche response to this is “well then you may as well have fun while you’re here” or something along those lines, but I seem unable to really do this knowing that in the end, all was for naught.

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