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Anonymous #1
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 Hilarious Revenge Stories 
#16183055 - 05/04/12 09:09 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Okay, so I know you guys have some righteous tales of vengeance.. here's one from a pal of mine:
Dealer A sells pretty bomb coke. Addict B is a total scumfunk thief coke head and allegedly forced Dealer A's 14 year old sister to give him head. Dealer A invites Addict B to his house for some free powder. He lays out a fat line for Addict B (it's actually Goody's powder) and Addict B gobbles it up. Instantly stunned with pain, Dealer A then punches Addict B in the nose and beats the shit out of him, tossing him out of his house. 
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Anonymous #2
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Tell that nigga to be grabbin his bat, yo.
All jokes aside dealer is probably fucked because addicts will be the FIRST ones to snitch.
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Anonymous #3
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He should have let him sniff some china white H instead. A fat line of that and, junkie B = a coroners case.
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Anonymous #4
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None of my revenge stories are comical...take from that what you will.
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Anonymous #5
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This story is not funny at all.
Used to know a guy who was stingy as all fuck (lets call him N)... would do anything to get what he thought was the better end of the deal and would throw tantrums or fight people or whatever to get his way.
I was always open with my friends who were also his friends that I thought he was scum, but they mostly told me to stop insulting their friend, as it made them feel bad and obligated to jump to his defence. The main one was his N's best friend S who he'd been best friends with since primary school and owed $600.
Because he was always asking for sessions but when he had weed he'd hole up in his room, we used to pack him 'nature cones'. Basically anything we felt like would go in there... twigs, insects etc. with a pinch of weed on top. He'd rip 'em in one, we'd ask him if it got him fucked up and he'd always say it got him fucked up as... and that was pretty funny.
Eventually people started to sort of see why I spoke poorly of him...
S moved to another country, and really needed the $600 for accommodation on the other side. N said no probs. He never came through and used the fact that S was in another country and couldn't collect to his advantage, and never replied to S's calls/texts/emails.
Anyone who's choose $600 over their best friend is absolute scum - he had way more than that in the bank.
Soon after this all his remaining friends realised he was scum and now he has none. Me and another guy trashed the shit out of his car... he lost way more than the $600 on that one and has no idea who it was because he's such a cunt to absolutely everyone. His girlfriend dumped him, punched him in the face, kicked him out and stole his TV. A couple of different hardcore as hell crack-heads have threatened to kill him or worse over unrelated things.
If you're a bastard, your punishment is that you have to live the rest of your life as one.
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Anonymous #6
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In my town back in the late 80s, all the police and judges ran cocaine and marijuana into the town. One cop in particular, was a lady who also helped and knew of the operations. Well she ended up getting popped by state police and it led to an investigation. She was threatening to talk so she could get out of severe prison time. The other local cops showed up at her house one night and murdered her to keep her silent. They made it look like a suicide and got away with it. Suicide is still the verdict on the file today and the murders/local police are still cops in the town.
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Anonymous #6
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Actually...that isn't hilarious. Its kinda sad to be honest.
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Anonymous #7
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bump
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Anonymous #8
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Hmmm, I dunno. Mine wasn't very funny, but definitely revenge.
It was back when we were all kids. A friend of mine used to smoke a lot and ended up smoking with someone even younger, like a 14 year old. Maybe even younger. The kid came over to my buddies house to "buy a g". My buddy was scaling it out for him and the kid just grabbed the big sack and ran right out of the house.
I was on my way back from a few states over at the time, on vacation. I got a text telling me what had happened. This kid had just started hanging around I guess, since I had been on vacation. I was steaming mad for a 4 hour drive. I knew the kid, he didn't know me.
I pulled in my driveway and it must have been fate because the kid was riding his bike by my house. I got out, ran down the driveway and ripped his bike out from under him in the road. I kicked his ass, stole his expensive BMX bike, took his wallet and his slushie and his bag of weed (most of it was gone). I never saw him again.
I guess its kind of funny because he had no idea who I was. My mom and girlfriend at the time were so surprised lmao. I got home from a 2 week vacation and immediately kicked the shit out of some kid.
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Anonymous #9
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Quote:
Anonymous #8 said:
Hmmm, I dunno. Mine wasn't very funny, but definitely revenge.
It was back when we were all kids. A friend of mine used to smoke a lot and ended up smoking with someone even younger, like a 14 year old. Maybe even younger. The kid came over to my buddies house to "buy a g". My buddy was scaling it out for him and the kid just grabbed the big sack and ran right out of the house.
I was on my way back from a few states over at the time, on vacation. I got a text telling me what had happened. This kid had just started hanging around I guess, since I had been on vacation. I was steaming mad for a 4 hour drive. I knew the kid, he didn't know me.
I pulled in my driveway and it must have been fate because the kid was riding his bike by my house. I got out, ran down the driveway and ripped his bike out from under him in the road. I kicked his ass, stole his expensive BMX bike, took his wallet and his slushie and his bag of weed (most of it was gone). I never saw him again.
I guess its kind of funny because he had no idea who I was. My mom and girlfriend at the time were so surprised lmao. I got home from a 2 week vacation and immediately kicked the shit out of some kid.
Lmao stole his slurpie aha street vengence
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Anonymous #8
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 I was gonna take that niggas shoes too but I wear a size 15 and woulda had to make em into flip flops or some shit.
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Anonymous #10
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Quote:
Anonymous #8 said:
I was gonna take that niggas shoes too but I wear a size 15 and woulda had to make em into flip flops or some shit.
You shoulda. It's the principle of the matter.
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
(it's actually Goody's powder)
What's Goody's powder?
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Anonymous #11
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When I was in jail my cellmate would steal shit from me behind my back, and thought he was so sly.
When he was in the yard, I busted a fat nut inside his shampoo bottle and shook it up real good... I watched him grab it and head to the shower, the dude also had long hair 
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Anonymous #5
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I had a friend who always stole fat clumps of tobacco from my pouch.
I decided to put just a tiny bit of tobacco in an old pouch, leaving my new one at home and pre-rolling a single ciggy, leaving it on top. I gave him plenty of opportunities to nick it and he did.
I watched him spark it up and he happily smoked the first 1/4. The rest was made up of my pubes, however so after that he pulled a pretty interesting face, then went and threw up for quite some time. I laughed my ass right off which made him pretty mad.
That'll show the bastard.
He had a good yell at me about it after, and I just said that it was intended for someone else, and that it was his fault for trying to steal my cigarettes - if he had asked for one, he would have avoided smoking my pubes.
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Anonymous #12
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a good one for that is to pack a ciggerette with a cherry bomb lol funny to watch even if they know
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Anonymous #13
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Once, years ago, I was working on this big ass half million dollar house doing masonry work.
I saw the general contractor at a local Mexican restaurant one weekend eating with a female companion, they happened to be sitting right next to a group of people that I have known for a very long time.
When I went over to say hi to my friends I noticed mr. general contractor and his date sitting next to them, so being the polite social icon that I am I spoke friendly to him and he responded quite condescendingly toward me.
This I took for a slight, and thought what a cocksucker, condescend me will you? Whatever, I could care less, just another asshole who thinks they are better than everyone else right?
Well the following Monday I was taking down the scaffold from the chimney at the top of the three story roof, tossing it off the roof out into the yard just like I always did in these types of work situations.
Well, here comes this cocksucker pulling up, gets out of his truck and yells up to me to watch out for the windows. Well this house is loaded with windows, bay windows, all kinds of windows. I am proud to say in my entire career in construction I have never broken a window (knock on wood), but here this asshole is sweating me down over something that has not happened.
Well, lucky for him I had to take a big shit that day after a whole weekend of partying and whatnots, so I went into the finished basement right next to the fireplace and pulled up a twelve inch block and had a seat, now normally I would put an empty mortar bag under the block and wrap up my business and dispose of it, well lucky for him the house was nearly finished and most of the mortar bags were gone, either way no mortar bag this time, just a huge pile of steamy feces was all I could leave in the block, the good part was that I covered the hole up with some other trash the drywallers had left in the room so that the offensive pile was not visible.
Lucky Mr. Douche came walking out of the basement the next day with a very disturbed look on his face, he knew better than to say anything because my boss had told him the week before that we were all done in the basement and would not be back down there for anything and he could go ahead and put in the flooring and stuff. My employer at the time was well known for not taking any shit from anyone and I guess he figured out that I was also a little bit like my employer in this respect. No way he could blame anyone in particular anyway, because there had been several different crews in and out of the house that day.
Me and a co-worker laughed and laughed for days on this one and every time cockboy came out to the job site we always talked loudly about how shitty some things were.
Moral of the story, be nice to those that are nice to you, just because someone is nice does not mean that they wont be shitty later.
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Anonymous #14
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Quote:
Anonymous #13 said:
Once, years ago, I was working on this big ass half million dollar house doing masonry work.
I saw the general contractor at a local Mexican restaurant one weekend eating with a female companion, they happened to be sitting right next to a group of people that I have known for a very long time.
When I went over to say hi to my friends I noticed mr. general contractor and his date sitting next to them, so being the polite social icon that I am I spoke friendly to him and he responded quite condescendingly toward me.
This I took for a slight, and thought what a cocksucker, condescend me will you? Whatever, I could care less, just another asshole who thinks they are better than everyone else right?
Well the following Monday I was taking down the scaffold from the chimney at the top of the three story roof, tossing it off the roof out into the yard just like I always did in these types of work situations.
Well, here comes this cocksucker pulling up, gets out of his truck and yells up to me to watch out for the windows. Well this house is loaded with windows, bay windows, all kinds of windows.
So you barge in on someone else when they're eating, get all butt hurt about his response, then start throwing scaffolding off a 3 story building and get butt hurt for being shouted at about that.
You retaliate by shitting in a basement?
I'm surprised people even employ you.
Moral of your story, stop being so easily offended.
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Anonymous #13
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obviously you lack common social skillz and know nothing of construction work, good luck to you in your life sir.
Moral of the story, most people have not a clue what they are talking about but are more than willing to speak anyway.
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Anonymous #15
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Quote:
Anonymous #13 said:
obviously you lack common social skillz and know nothing of construction work, good luck to you in your life sir.
Moral of the story, most people have not a clue what they are talking about but are more than willing to speak anyway.
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Anonymous #14
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"obviously you lack common social skillz"
"just a huge pile of steamy feces was all I could leave in the block"
I do not think you're in any position to be judging others "social skillz"
I feel sorry for the next person that offends you too easily and has to deal with your shit (literally).
"Moral of the story, most people have not a clue what they are talking about but are more than willing to speak anyway."
Right back at you, all though I'm better adapted socially and would never goatse someone, I guess that's why your working construction and pooing in bags.
Edited by Anonymous (05/14/12 11:58 AM)
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Anonymous #13
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lol, I guess your reading skillz are not all that great either, you missed the "years ago" part of the post, not sayn' just sayn'.
Too bad you feel as though you must pick apart a stranger on a drug board to try and make yourself feel better, trust me everything is going to be alright, brah. 
So, anyone else have a revenge story? Or has this turned into the whiney butt "Your socially awkward at least more so than I thread"?
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Anonymous #8
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Look at number 14, too good to shit in a bag. 
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Anonymous #2
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Moral of the story: shut the fuck up, faggots.
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