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Offlinem0onknight
Stranger
Registered: 04/30/12
Posts: 3
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Human connection
    #16159008 - 04/30/12 09:04 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

First post, found this forum on google and I've been lurking for a while.

I'm currently working through depression but over the past 8 months I've driven most of my friends away (irreparably so I'm afraid) and I've been left with only 2 who are more reclusive than I am! This is actually proving a problem with the depression, I thrive when I am with people and loathe every day I spend without talking to anyone that I actually want to know (Since I work in a customer service focused job I talk to people all day, but that doesn't count for me)

So my question is how do you rebuild your circle of friends? I'm quite shy and socially awkward so I'm not one to just walk up to someone and start chatting.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, don't know where to turn to anymore.


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Invisiblelivenotonevil
Registered: 01/20/10
Posts: 1,208
Re: Human connection [Re: m0onknight]
    #16159023 - 04/30/12 09:11 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

I have done this. I now have a large circle of vary good friends. Some I would call Family.

I put myself in this same spot. Didn't have anyone close. Talked to people all day but only work related. Then I reached a hand out to help a guy in need. From there I refused to get cought in the same line of thinking. So I grew as an individual and let others in again.

That's what it comes down to. Nothing outside of yourself is stopping you. It is all enternal. Once you realize and enternalize this. You can start to let the outside back in.


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It is without question that the war on drugs is a failure. It has failed to prevent drug abuse. It has failed to keep drugs out of the hands of addicts. It has failed to stop drug overdoses. It has failed to keep drugs away from teenagers. It has failed to stop the violence associated with drug trafficking. It has failed to help drug addicts get treatment. It has failed to prevent the cultivation of marijuana and the making of illicit drugs. It has failed to halt the flow of illegal drugs into the United States.


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InvisibleHoncho
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Registered: 01/25/12
Posts: 40
Loc: Sunshine
Re: Human connection [Re: livenotonevil]
    #16159125 - 04/30/12 09:44 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

I deal with alot of anxiety and depression. Sometimes the only thing that can get me out and about doing what I am suppose to be doing that day is a 2mg Xanax. I am afraid that some people are just prisoners of their own mind. Use that time you spend alone to learn and create things that your interested in. Its not always a bad thing to be on your own. You will be lucky if you find one true friend in a lifetime.


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Offlinem0onknight
Stranger
Registered: 04/30/12
Posts: 3
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: Human connection [Re: Honcho]
    #16160538 - 04/30/12 04:03 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

I mean I know It will get better and stuff, I'm just looking for specific advice on how to rebuild my circle of friends. I'm into loads of nerdy stuff and I'd like to find like minded people but I just don't know where to start.

Its quite overwhelming, after doing damage control and realising you've pushed most of your friends away you realise you are going to have to find a whole new group of friends, and for someone that's as socially awkward as I am It sounds almost impossible.


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OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
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Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 10,198
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 1 hour, 52 minutes
Re: Human connection [Re: m0onknight]
    #16161637 - 04/30/12 07:41 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Get involved in groups, activities, go to shows, take classes or explore hobbies (mycology, bird watching, cycling, photography, sports, etc...)

However, i've also abandoned my friends and move to a new city and i've met no one in the past 2 years. :S It doesn't bother me alot, but it seems like you need friends to meet people.

Kinda like pulling teeth, i'll tell ya.


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GO OUTSIDE.


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Offlinem0onknight
Stranger
Registered: 04/30/12
Posts: 3
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: Human connection [Re: PDU]
    #16166478 - 05/01/12 05:43 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Yea, pulling teeth indeed. Very hard to cope with when all your family is miles away in another country! Never been very close to them but at least they provide company.

I guess those things sound like they could work but most of my interests don't have clubs I could join. And the shows thing is really something that would work but I don't feel comfortable approaching strangers :/ I guess its more of a problem with self confidence than opportunity in a way.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Human connection [Re: m0onknight]
    #16172829 - 05/02/12 08:49 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

It's all about the vibe you give off. If you feel like people are going to look at you negatively, they most likely will.

Grow your confidence from within yourself, be happy with yourself, and don't be afraid of putting yourself out there. Go do things you like to do and talk with people. Say what you think and have fun.

With your previous friends, I'm sure you could still be friends with them if you erase your beliefs that they're too distant now.


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