|
Anonymous #1
|
 I can not cum most of the time when having sex 
#16158644 - 04/30/12 05:08 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
So I got a question about sex:
I know it varies from person to person but is there a general statistics of some kind showing the % of sexual compatibility in a group.
I love sex, but almost always it gets kind of tiring when having real sex. The only person I have been fully compatible is my ex gf, who I still fuck sometimes. I could cum easily with her, but she has serious mental issues and it is really hard for her to orgasm. So, again this is mostly one sided...
But yesterday I found the complete opposite. Met a girl and turns out she is a complete nymph. We fucked. Then went to sleep, which turned into fucking all night, like 5 hours. Then we fucked again. Then we ate breakfast and took a nap, and she again initiated sex, which lasted long.
Problem is, though, that I only came once, and that was after pulling out and jerking myself off on her tits. She was really really tight and it kind of stroke my cock too much, and I add condom, which really strokes it, Like I literally feel something is stopping my bloodflow.
She was wet all the time, like I could not imagine how its even possible... After this I feel just weak. I even had problems with keeping my hard on.
There are said physical and mental issues which block me cumming. Somehow I can only cum when I am dominating really hard, only time I can cum with soft sex is when with my true love, which I doesn't have anymore.
I feel weird, sex is becoming more and more tiring. Its more like I just jerk off and get this over with.
Any one else relates? How can I make myself cum. Obviously I need more exitement, but its kind of hard to get. BDSM?
|
 Mycjunky
Stranger
Registered: 07/25/09
Posts: 1,686
Last seen: 1 day, 14 hours
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16158750 - 04/30/12 06:08 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
There are said physical and mental issues which block me cumming. Somehow I can only cum when I am dominating really hard, only time I can cum with soft sex is when with my true love, which I doesn't have anymore.
I think you answered your own question. Sex is great and all but if your not doing it with the person you really want to do it with eventually it's just not the same. Odds are your laying there wishing you were with someone else regardless of how great at sex the person your with is.
|
yoimjohn
Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 1,287
Loc: terra nova
Last seen: 8 months, 15 days
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Mycjunky]
#16160672 - 04/30/12 04:29 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
sound like you've developed anxiety which is playing a big role in your inability to perform and finish. if you think about it, and try to much to cum, your fucked.
also, if your really getting tired, go run everyday, you will fuck like a pornstar
do you have sexual fantasies that would get you off immensely but never get to to do them?
me personally i like rimming girls, its 10x better when they like it also, my first gf wasn't into it but she did it, my second gf was skeptical at first but now she loves it and fiends for it! and having them take control when im eating them out where they are on top of my face always gets me. just saying, i think your overthinking this and just not doing what you truly want to do sexually with a girl in bed. or maybe you are, i have faith you will find someone who you like more than your ex and this will cause you to like them alot more in bed. im sure you see that girl every now and then that is mega eye candy and you know you will cum in a second.
if it were possible i would stop having sex with the women you are having sex with once you start getting doubts about your cumming ability. because this will become a habit you do not want to have. although i realize its hard to just stop mid-sex, you might come off as wierd.
btw i was in the same boat as you, still sort of am but i have made amazing progress so its over pretty much. truth is, im bi-sexual, once i stopped hiding these feelings i was able to cum with my girl much easier. wierd right? how me coming out about being bi-sexual helped my sex with life women.. haha
|
krstaley
Hippy Karen
 
Registered: 04/14/12
Posts: 6
Loc: NE North Carolina, USA 
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: yoimjohn]
#16171574 - 05/02/12 04:33 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Well guys, I am a female so right away my situation is different but we are all sexual beings so I figured what the heck, right? I have been with the same man for 18 years. I am SO NOT BORED with him, in fact I get butterflies when he enters a room. He's 47 now and his body is even more hot. When we have sex it's Very hot and I enjoy it. I'm so lucky to be with someone who I love and am positive loves me as well.
However, I don't think I can count on both hands the # of times I have gotten off - that is strictly while screwing damnit. He always uses gel so it won't hurt and tries whatever position I want. I have been in tremendous pain (in other areas for 10 years) and have stress over $ but don't think that's it because that's the time I Never think about those things.
We have a little vibrating bullet HE bought us but when I suggest we try encorporating it, he doesn't comment. Speaking as guys - do you think I should just bring it to bed? It WILL "start the engines". I only use it alone about 6 times a year / don't want to be dependant and never get off with him. When he uses his hands, he can make me literally Scream but he hasn't been doing that for so long. He seems down (got laid off 15 year job), is sweet in every other way. Should I ASK him to use his fingers as well or would that put a man off? I feel like we're sexually drifting. I know he's tired but I want him.
A little help. No pervs please...I'm serious about this. In love but sad. K
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: krstaley]
#16171748 - 05/02/12 05:06 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
You have just as much right to cum as he does during sex. If he wants you to get him off, then he should be more than happy to get you off if he really cares about you. Tell him he needs to get over his insecurities (and do some research online to reassure him) because MOST women do NOT orgasm from sexual intercourse and need clitoral stimulation to reach climax. Being depressed is no excuse for being a selfish lover. If he is not willing or able to get you off with his hand, then bring in the vibrator. If he is turned off by it, try explaining female sexuality to him and ask him how he would feel if you got him really worked up every time and then had him stop right before he came. If he in uncompromising after you've talked with him about your pleasure and needs then I would question whether the amount of love you feel for him is mutual.
|
Crystal G
Ultimate Scumbag and Douchebag
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 5,073
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 1 hour, 1 minute
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Anonymous #2]
#16172336 - 05/02/12 07:26 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
are you circumcised? if so that might be it.... decreased sensitivity...
--------------------
Men who have a fear of women who exert control of their sexualities, know that they wouldn't be able to control or easily manipulate women who are aggressive, dominant, or defiant. Women who refuse to passively cooperate or adhere to stereotypical gender roles. So they use social stigma and social shame and call us "sluts" to try to implant fear and guilt in us, in an effort to control and coerce our behaviors. It is a completely selfish philosophy that stems from the belief that they OWN women.
Thus, me taking control of my sexuality is my big way of saying "FUCK YOU" to the institution, and another "FUCK YOU" to the patriarchy!  
|
 WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,492
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16172786 - 05/02/12 08:43 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
This question gets asked a lot on reddit's sex forum and almost always it is revealed that the guy uses a death grip when he masturbates, so he is only able to reach orgasm with extreme levels of stimulation. Does that sound like you?
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Crystal G]
#16175180 - 05/03/12 04:47 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Crystal G said:
are you circumcised? if so that might be it.... decreased sensitivity...
What?
NO, circumcision is stupid american and jewish culture and I am definately not circumcised.
Without condom, its easier to cum. Idk, its like I am losing interest in sex lately, after meeting this nymph. Pointless and boring.
I am not gay either, already tested.
Death grip it is not, I don't use it. And I haven't masturbated in days.
I feel like an old person but I am 24.
Edited by Anonymous (05/03/12 04:48 AM)
|
yoimjohn
Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 1,287
Loc: terra nova
Last seen: 8 months, 15 days
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16175922 - 05/03/12 11:44 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
get a trusted fuck buddy on birth control and fuck without a condom..
or just a girlfriend and fuck her without a condom after she is on birth control
if you must use a condom, use ultra thin..
i say you stop dwelling on it, stop fucking your ex. your viewing her as your only fully compatible sex partner which isn't good and its not at all true.. she is your ex for a reason, leave the past, to the past..
sounds like you just have anxiety, and if your getting tired you need to go at a slower pace, or do intervals Lol, or you just need to get more fit you pick..
Edited by yoimjohn (05/03/12 11:45 AM)
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: yoimjohn]
#16180280 - 05/04/12 05:02 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Yes, I can cum without condom easily.
Yes, I realized I really need to get more fit. Lately I've been eating only once a day and feel really tired after sex.
But then again I am wondering, do I really need to eat that much and do I really need sex. I just don't have that much of an urge any more. I've been doing it more for her than for myself... fuck.
Funny, like a year ago I was super sexual, now I am just losing life force.
|
yoimjohn
Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 1,287
Loc: terra nova
Last seen: 8 months, 15 days
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16180648 - 05/04/12 09:30 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Lol its because your eating once a day. go eat your veggies and fruits. start jogging or elliptical an then your straight as fuck.
eat like 4-5 times a day rather then once. that ' myth ' about eating once is bad is true..
thats why your loosing life-force
|
krstaley
Hippy Karen
Registered: 04/14/12
Posts: 6
Loc: NE North Carolina, USA
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Anonymous #1]
#16211071 - 05/10/12 07:23 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Sweetie, you've got lots of time and probably many partners to experiment with. Please don't let this (temporary) situation get you upset! It will only makes things worse. I came in on this thread after it began & probably don't know all you said. However - you are Young. Our bodies, emotions, relationships go through many changes over the years. I've had 4 serious/ long relationships and (too) many lovers for fun. In the 70's that was the way; before so much disease. I'm just asking you to relax because I know the right girl is out there and you Will have an incredible love-life at some point in your life. I really believe that. You are young, take it easy  K
--------------------
Hippy Karen 
|
krstaley
Hippy Karen
Registered: 04/14/12
Posts: 6
Loc: NE North Carolina, USA
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
|
|
Thank you for your comments. I can hardly believe it - I would almost believe my husband read my comments about not being satisfied but he has no idea how to get on this site- only that I've been here for info on another topic, nor does he know the user/password.
But he Must have sensed my need for closeness And a "screamer" LOL. The very next day, he took a very long time with me (in the afternoon!). It was real, nice slow lovemaking between 2 people who have been under way too much anxiety. It ended with me screaming in ecstasy VERY LOUDLY. Pardon the forwardness but since we're on the subject - I came once while he played with me and again while he banged me. After, it just wouldn't stop  and we passed out together. I'm not saying these things to be either pervie nor to brag. I want anyone having trouble to know....for me it had been so long I don't even KNOW. Now that it's worked out ~ I'm throbbing thinking of it ~ I feel comfortable in the future saying "let's do it like that 1 day honey". So you see, I am a Very ill 50 year old woman in constant agony in every Other part of my body. If it can work out for me - it will for all of us. Best wishes and thank you for giving me the nerve though I didn't even have to ask, just relaxed.
--------------------
Hippy Karen
|
resonant111
permanent trip
Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 1,061
Last seen: 3 days, 8 hours
|
Re: Sorry, just noticed this reply [Re: krstaley]
#16212500 - 05/11/12 12:09 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
wait, you had sex for five plus hours straight and you're complaining because you didn't cum?
this isn't a performance issue at all! sounds like an advanced tantric lover who can please his lady day and night without going overboard 
imagine being one of those poor losers who sticks his dick in a pussy only to blow his wad 2 minutes later...now THAT's a performance issue.
if you lived in an eastern culture you'd be hailed as a sexual god...the goal of tantra is to have sex for a prolonged period WITHOUT cumming. how about that?
--------------------
"only those who accept
will find that acceptance in return"
-dredg
|
naturesrevolt
StrangerOfAwesome
Registered: 05/28/11
Posts: 518
Loc: michigan
Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
|
Re: Sorry, just noticed this reply [Re: resonant111]
#16221561 - 05/12/12 10:31 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
OP; It sounds like you are not emotionally connecting well with this person, and this is hampering your sex drive. This would be further complicated by the fact that despite wanting sex a lot yourself, you've met an over-match with someone who appears to be a clinical nymphomaniac. To help this along, I'd recommend trying to connect better emotionally, slow things down, stop, and/or talk it out with your partner. You can even talk about your want to dominate in the bedroom at this time (I'd recommend warm-up questions like "Do you ever feel like you want to be dominated?" or "Who do you prefer to be in control when having sex?")
On the physical side of things, she may be tight, but is your personal grip tighter? Many people don't orgasm from sex because their own touch is actually stronger than their partner's or their own touch is tuned just right. There's also the fact that long periods of just masturbation can leave a person disconnected from sex because they got too used to themselves.
Similar results can be from people who only eat one thing for months or years at a time. A normal person would eat something different and be fine, while these people eat something different and all they can taste is how uncomfortably different it is from the item they're used to. My advice if this is the case would be to use a softer touch on yourself (and yes, it will take longer) until you come close to the other person's touch, then you have a higher chance of getting off with them and not needing to do the finisher yourself.
Lastly, your environment could be playing a toxic role to your situation. Food intake will hamper sex drive and sexual response. Lack of sleep (or too much) can also play a role in this situation. And don't forget that medications come with side effects that can damage sex.
Also, astrology says you have a 1 in 12-13 (or 1 in 4 if you follow elements) chance to find someone you're compatible with.
Hope any of this helps 
Edited by naturesrevolt (05/12/12 10:35 PM)
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Things have changed.
Today I ended this fuck-buddy relationship. Emotionless sex is just not for me.
A day ago I had my ex over, I know we both been through stress and anxiety lately, and that was the most passionate ever had. She came instantly when I put my dick in her. I came not long after that. And that was with a condom. Sad truth is she is my ex and I love her. And I just can't let go either.
With the other partner I discovered that yes I am able to prolong sex while holding back cumming, although I do this unintentionally.
Edited by Anonymous (05/13/12 06:47 AM)
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#16223342 - 05/13/12 10:24 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
WhiskeyClone said:
This question gets asked a lot on reddit's sex forum and almost always it is revealed that the guy uses a death grip when he masturbates, so he is only able to reach orgasm with extreme levels of stimulation. Does that sound like you?
Pretty much guarantee that's Op's problem
|
preschooler
Stranger
Registered: 01/27/03
Posts: 3,929
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Anonymous #3]
#16224257 - 05/13/12 02:41 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I have the same issue especially with new people or if i have one drink. Went 40 min last week with nothin. Then did it again and finally came. I think it might have to do with the person, nervousness, or just generally being turned on with somebody. The only way to overcome this is to have more sex. Sounds like fun to me.
|
Anonymous #4
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: preschooler]
#16224697 - 05/13/12 03:53 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
more sex, less masturbation is key
|
tito123
Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 1,538
Last seen: 4 hours, 15 minutes
|
Re: I can not cum most of the time when having sex [Re: Anonymous #4]
#16240889 - 05/16/12 05:46 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
yourbrainonporn.com
Check this site out.
|
|
Images only 
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Edit 
Reply 
Anonymous
