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 psyke101
Test Subject
Registered: 04/30/11
Posts: 630
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 Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had?  [Re: psyke101]
#16063279 - 04/09/12 12:38 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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I haven't had a nightmare encounter like OP describes but I had an akward encounter a couple years back.
I was dating a girl for a month or so. She was about 21 and I was prolly around 25 at the time. We had a couple sleep overs and fooled around but had not actually 'done the deed' yet. So one night we are at my place and I go for the kill. She resists so I ask her. Ok whats up? You dont want to have sex? Turns out she is a virgin  and is really, really self conscious about it, and is actually afraid about it too. She has tried to have sex with a couple past boyfriends but found it too painful and couldnt follow through with it.
So awkward. She wanted to have sex but was honestly scared. Id get my cock in a bit and she'd like shove me off and be like 'ow ow ow' 
I ended up getting really frustrated coz she woulnt let me get started. I felt like once i was in I'd be able to take it slow and slide it round a bit and she would enjoy it. But she was like, 'I cant do it, God!!! Whats wrong with me!!' ..like really self conscious and getting herself all workd up and shit.
Eventually copious KY was my friend, but fuck it was an ordeal.
Was kinda fun being the 'dirty teacher' tho 
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Encrypted messaging function: Click here.
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passifloracaerulea
glass miner
 
Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 4,131
Loc: oregon coast
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: eltonjohn]
#16063282 - 04/09/12 12:39 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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lost mine to tone loc motha fuckas!
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DeathSpider
the living dead girl
Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 5,007
Loc: In the state of Denial
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: DeathSpider]
#16063285 - 04/09/12 12:40 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Lol
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 tizjack
Tizzy
Registered: 09/20/10
Posts: 618
Loc: Melbourne, Victoria 
Last seen: 4 months, 13 days
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: Led Zeppelin]
#16063322 - 04/09/12 12:49 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Oh god, my first time was horrible. Was at my friends place and we were all pretty drunk. This was when i was around 16 going on 17. I decided to booty call this girl i knew who is always up for anything. So she comes round with her friends and we are all having a good time drinking ect. As the evening progresses im invited to the spare bed room by her.
Now this is where it gets weird. She HATES kissing, and HATES foreplay. She just wanted me to get ontop of her and ride her. i was like. uhh ok.. Can you at least give me a bj so i can get hard? nope. she hates giving bj's as well. So here i am with a naked girl in a room giving myself a hand job in front of he to get hard because she wont give out hand jobs either. After a while i get hard and put on the condom.
With a lot of awkward fumbling around, i finally get it in and proceed to have all the sex with the woman.  Yet as i was going at it i noticed she wasn't moving. not even an inch. like a dead fish she just laid there. Kinda like that episode of two and half men when charlie gets with the french chick that doesn't move. the least sexual thing ever. unless you're into fetishes of fucking people who act dead.
To make things worse, after i finish up. she starts freaking out about being a slut and asks me questions like "do you think im a slut?" "omg crisis blah blah blah" for three fucking hours at 4 in the morning. I was being super nice to her and saying she wasnt. (she was). I even fucking walked her home.
never spoke to her again and i was ashamed to lose my virginity in such a shit way. But at least night i have a chiller raver gf who isn't selfish in bed and will put in an equal amount of effort.
/ off topic, had sex with my gf on acid for the first time last week. It was everything i hoped it to be.
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Edited by tizjack (04/09/12 12:51 AM)
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hawksapprentice
Yearns to Snowboard
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 3,133
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 4 days, 10 hours
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: aiyobro] 7
#16063336 - 04/09/12 12:53 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
aiyobro said:
One day I met this girl who was friends with someone I used to hang out with in highschool on some next shit and when I met here she was kinda drunk and I was high and she like came up with a nickname for me and we made out and everything behind this girls head in the back seat. So I'm at work the next day and my boy comes in and he's like YOOo you have to see that girl she was totally asking about you, I'm like really he's like yea everybodies partying tonight are you coming out? so I'm like fuck yea as soon as I'm done with these fries then I get out my boy picks me up and freaking we go in the back and shes standing there mad tipsy with a bottle of tequila in her hand im like word i gotta swig and theres nothing left! so we like keep making out then she's like I wanna lay down so I take her upstairs and she's mad drunk and can hardly get up the stairs and i can tell shes drunk and all these dudes there are telling me to fuck her and im jus like nah man she's too drunk so i jus pick her up and jus take her upstairs to put her down in the room and she's like "turn on the music" and im like uhhhm the computers on shes like turn it on!! come on fuck me!! so i take her into the next room with the computer on and shes like turn on the music and I turn on the tokyo drift song and she's like "fuck me!" and takes of her thong right from her skirt and i try to put on a condom but i cant keep it hard at all, im nervous, so it keeps goin down, im like damn right when her friends open the door and see this condom haning over this lil wet acorn in my hand and im like "whoa guys..." before they laugh and slam thedoor and fucking this shitty tokyo drift music is playing and i jus cant get it up at all while this girl is visibly getting annoyed so I'm jus like uhh then shes like "what are you gay? stick it in my ass!" so I'm like uh ok? so she gets on all fours and im jus waving my dick around her ass area and i cant get hard at all. so I'm like we're goin to have to do this later, so i take her outside for fresh air cuz she's like not paying attention to anything and she's still bitching about not being fucked and making a scene in the front yard where no ones at
so i take her back up and she's still really fucked up so im kinda having second thoughts and shes still saying fuck me fuck me so im like ok... suck my dick,I put my dick in her mouth and she starts chomping on it like its a bone and im like aghhh!! then im like ok no thats enough and im jus waiting for my ride next to her but she wont even let me do that and she starts pushing me and yelling fuck me come on!! so I'm like fine i put the condom on go in their limp and hump once twice... boom!!! a fucking nut and my dick hasnt gone further then a inch, shes still complaining about me not fucking her mind you and I jus lost my virginity so iim like damn i really hope no one finds out about this so i carry her in the next room and put her on her side to sleep and she jus goes to sleep with this dissatified look and i go down stairs and everyone is quiet and im like omg.. i get picked up and never speak of it again till after a movie and she's like we had sex? but i was like yea well i had sex.
I'm like you know, and she's like yeah I want it, and he was like yeah, then this other dude was like, i mean like, and like and like. It's like you know. Like, Like, Like, Like
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"I celebrate the Earth, my home, my mother, my grave, and as long as men are Man they must, if they would preserve the integrated being, do the same---[and preserve]--this rank casual hungry smelly sweaty lusting transitory body, my oozy pulpy liquid-bag-swollen body, bones, blood, hair glands, my bejeweled sex; I love and celebrate it all. never to let men forget that they are animals as much as gods---that is one thing I shall say."
Edward Abbey
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acidxprincess
Livin day by day.
Registered: 01/07/11
Posts: 1,193
Loc: partylands, WI 
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: tizjack]
#16063341 - 04/09/12 12:53 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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sooo i dumped my x once for this one hot dude that treated me like a princess. never cheated because im not like that. thus why i dumped the dude. well when i ended up getting with this one dude, his wein was wayy to small to begin with and it literally was like, in, pump, pull out and a river of cum came out of his weiner.. seriously. it was horrible. 
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"what do you call Discovery?
I call it rape of the natural world."
"Too weird to live..
Too rare to die"
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DeathSpider
the living dead girl
Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 5,007
Loc: In the state of Denial
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: DeathSpider]
#16063343 - 04/09/12 12:54 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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There was one time I was getting it on with a guy in the back of his car at about 2 in the morning. We had just finished when down the road a fuckload of cop cars show up. Flashing lights and everything. They tapped the window, told us to get dressed and waited. Eventually we step out and the cops demanded ID and stuff. I didn't have any. But luckily for me, I speak with an accent. And so once the cops determined I wasn't forced there or anything, they asked why we were there. I just shrugged and said it was a spur of the moment thing and then quickly followed up with an "I'm terribly sorry. I had no idea that this was illegal." Because of that, we managed to get off with just a warning, otherwise we were looking at a few misdemeanors.
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tizjack
Tizzy
Registered: 09/20/10
Posts: 618
Loc: Melbourne, Victoria
Last seen: 4 months, 13 days
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: DeathSpider]
#16063349 - 04/09/12 12:56 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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wtf you cant have sex in a car? In Australia i honestly dont think they would give a fuck. granted i don't even own a car to have sex in in the first place 
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passifloracaerulea
glass miner
Registered: 11/13/10
Posts: 4,131
Loc: oregon coast
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: tizjack]
#16063358 - 04/09/12 12:58 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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think of the children!
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DeathSpider
the living dead girl
Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 5,007
Loc: In the state of Denial
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: tizjack]
#16063388 - 04/09/12 01:05 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
tizjack said:
wtf you cant have sex in a car? In Australia i honestly dont think they would give a fuck. granted i don't even own a car to have sex in in the first place
I can't remember exactly what the charge was, but it was something akin to public indecency or some shit like that. I mean, we were in the middle of nowhere on a deserted road at 2 am. Where the cops came from and who called them still kind of makes me wonder.
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Davek
Took too many caffine pills :0#
Registered: 04/08/12
Posts: 14
Loc: My own reality
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: aiyobro]
#16063391 - 04/09/12 01:06 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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The worst for me was my first, it was the first for both of us and everything was just so awkward between us, but the next day we got high and fucked, no awkwardness after that! :P
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Sometimes I beheaded them with daggers, with poinards, with knives Sometimes I suspended them in my room From a pole or by a hook and cords and strangled them And when they were languishing I committed with them the evils of the flesh, few survived long enough
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,851
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: DeathSpider]
#16063392 - 04/09/12 01:07 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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damn.. done that many o times.. never had the "that 70's show" tap on the winda though
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DeathSpider
the living dead girl
Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 5,007
Loc: In the state of Denial
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Quote:
passifloracaerulea said:
think of the children!
Funny that, in that instance, the condom broke or something and instead of putting a new one on, or better yet, telling -me- the condom broke, he just pulls it off and kept going. After the cops left, I was brought up to speed on this guy's criminal history. This wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact I was a day away from my ovulation date. So I was in frickin panick mode. Got rejected several times from chemists while trying to buy the Plan B pill, so ended up downing a shit load of vitamin c, black cohosh and dong quai.
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Sundrop
Registered: 01/23/05
Posts: 1,833
Loc: tennessee
Last seen: 1 day, 19 hours
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: DeathSpider]
#16063416 - 04/09/12 01:15 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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hahaha
Oh well, we continued to have sex for a couple of years after that, and we just laugh about it now, haha.
Edited by Sundrop (04/09/12 07:27 PM)
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DarkMatterOfFact
ZealtheDealforthePill
Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 1,558
Loc: South Cali
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: rackem]
#16063417 - 04/09/12 01:15 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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i took a giant shit in her mouth. then threw a hundo at her. THE END.
actually im a good lover. its easier for me to make the woman im with to get off then myself.
i guess i just know too much seen too much and ...felt too much to be surprised anymore.
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Nixon was a asshole. Just look at his biggest creation. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the DEA.
Which secretly stands for Demonizing Everyone by Allegations.
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DeathSpider
the living dead girl
Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 5,007
Loc: In the state of Denial
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I've gotten to the point where when it comes to sex, I just say to the guy "All you need to do right now is just lay there and let me do my thing. Once I get off, you can do whatever the hell ya want." I go in without any expectations and I usually end up happy now.
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starfire_xes
Living colors,,,,
Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 12,693
Loc: Southwest US
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: DeathSpider]
#16063431 - 04/09/12 01:21 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
DeathSpider said:
Quote:
starfire_xes said:
I dont even like to mount a woman until I get her so fired up that she's ready to pull the trigger. Nothing as crappy as try to bang a girl that isn't red hot.
Music store hmm? Are you a musician?
Nah. Used to play bass and piano, not nothing serious. I'm a mechanical engineer.Quote:
Led Zeppelin said:
I cant believe I lost my virginity while Achilles Last Stand was playing..im a true Zeppelin fan 
I lost mine to Zeppelin's All My Love
i lost mine at age 12 to my friends 13 year old sister, on christmas eve to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer....
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 IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,851
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: starfire_xes]
#16063438 - 04/09/12 01:23 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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good times starfire.. good times
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Psychoslut
The Mother Fucking Bear-o-dactyl
Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 20,115
Loc: all up in ya
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: DeathSpider]
#16063444 - 04/09/12 01:25 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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i have never had bad sex, any sex with Psychoslut is the best most interesting sex anyone will ever have guaranteed lmao.
just ask all my exes if i live up to my screenname haha.
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[quote]KristiMidocean said:
Good now thats clear.WHO FUCKING CARES. If I am fat u all keep pointing it out like its suppose to be a secret.LIke u really have nothing better to do then make fat jokes. If o know its like I do I know yall can come up with NEW AND BETTER SHIT . This shit is old and boring . I left in the first place cause this shit got boring not because of the fat jokes . Fat jokes dont bother me but seriously its old[/quote]
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DarkMatterOfFact
ZealtheDealforthePill
Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 1,558
Loc: South Cali
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Re: What's the worst sex you have ever had? [Re: starfire_xes]
#16063449 - 04/09/12 01:26 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
starfire_xes said:
Quote:
DeathSpider said:
Quote:
starfire_xes said:
I dont even like to mount a woman until I get her so fired up that she's ready to pull the trigger. Nothing as crappy as try to bang a girl that isn't red hot.
Music store hmm? Are you a musician?
Nah. Used to play bass and piano, not nothing serious. I'm a mechanical engineer.Quote:
Led Zeppelin said:
I cant believe I lost my virginity while Achilles Last Stand was playing..im a true Zeppelin fan
I lost mine to Zeppelin's All My Love
i lost mine at age 12 to my friends 13 year old sister, on christmas eve to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer....
dont you mean mean acquaintance? who fucks there actual friends sister?
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Nixon was a asshole. Just look at his biggest creation. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the DEA.
Which secretly stands for Demonizing Everyone by Allegations.
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