Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!
|
 StateOfMind404
Drifter.
 
Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 2,550
Loc: Terra-firma
|
 Re: Cigarettes in relationships  [Re: pwnasaurus]
#16016504 - 03/30/12 12:31 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I say if you two both love each other, you will live for each other for as long as you possibly can. You can coax her, but you cannot force her. coaxing will take time, but do little things to help her realize that smoking cigarettes is a dead end act, but do it in positive ways with a smirk on your face. Isn't that love?
--------------------
No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again. - Buddha
We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home. - Aboriginal Proverb.
|
StateOfMind404
Drifter.
Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 2,550
Loc: Terra-firma
|
|
PS. I'm an ex-smoker, I don't even fuck with the nicotine vaporizers anymore. Quitting cigs is serious stuff, you have to be supportive of the person even if you think they're strong enough to handle it on their own, because honestly, most people take multiple tries to stop for good.
--------------------
No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again. - Buddha
We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home. - Aboriginal Proverb.
|
koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,261
|
|
Quote:
StateOfMind404 said:
coaxing will take time, but do little things to help her realize that smoking cigarettes is a dead end act, but do it in positive ways with a smirk on your face. Isn't that love?
To me, it doesn't sound like love, but like being an relentless tv preacher whose channel you can't switch off.
Quote:
CarnivalBarker said:
Also I think my other main problem was the dishonesty at the start of the relationship, which according to my internet research, is a very common stunt for smokers to pull with non-smokers.
Well, 'stunt'; yeah, I suppose it is indeed a common reaction of smokers who have gotten used to the derogatory and negative attitude of non-smokers towards their behavior.
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: koraks]
#16017533 - 03/30/12 05:28 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Gotten in quite a few arguments with my gf over her smoking.
When she chain smokes it fucking stinks out the apartment and what's the fucking point, your not even getting fucking high.
A lot of the time I don't mind or just bear with it but sometimes it just pisses me off.
I get into moods and when she asks what's wrong I say it's her smoking.
She gets upset and the last time I said, "So do plan on smoking your whole life?"
"No..."
"How do you think it will change so? It's only going to get harder."
She took up smoking in her early 20's
None of her friends smoke anymore and I can see how they look at her too.
Her mother and my mother, both in their 60's still smoke a pack or more a day.
I mentioned that if she keeps going she'll still be smoking when she's her mothers age.
I did say and she did also that I don't want her to do it for me and she doesn't want that either, she sees where I'm coming from but it's just so fucking hard.
She's cut down to 3 a day but that lasted like 2 days. Maybe 5/6/7 now.
I told her that for it to work, we can't just sit around doing the same old things, which trigger her to thinking cigarette time.
So we go out and do things now and get a bit active.
|
StateOfMind404
Drifter.
Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 2,550
Loc: Terra-firma
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: koraks]
#16022145 - 03/31/12 01:55 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
StateOfMind404 said:
coaxing will take time, but do little things to help her realize that smoking cigarettes is a dead end act, but do it in positive ways with a smirk on your face. Isn't that love?
To me, it doesn't sound like love, but like being an relentless tv preacher whose channel you can't switch off.
?? You don't have to preach it... maybe you misinterpreted what I said?
Wouldn't you want your spouse to live a long life, so that you could have the most amount of time in this life with them? Oh but that would be selfish wouldn't it...
--------------------
No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again. - Buddha
We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home. - Aboriginal Proverb.
|
koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,261
|
|
Sure, it's natural to want your partner to be healthy and happy. But how pleasant is it to have a partner who always holds this against you whenever you do something unhealthy? That sort of stuff, however well it's meant, can get really annoying really fast.
|
 halo
Tripper
Registered: 11/01/07
Posts: 845
Last seen: 2 days, 17 hours
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: pwnasaurus]
#16023679 - 03/31/12 01:21 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
trip forever said:
Do you love (like) her?
If so, put up with the cigarettes.
Don't lose someone for something as silly as them smoking a cigarette.
It's not worth it to lose a relationship over someone enjoying a smoke. (especially if she covers it up for you, then it definitely shouldn't be a problem)
It really depends. You think it's silly, I think they're fucking disgusting. You can't cover it up. I almost gag when in get in the elevator at work after someone went on a smoke break.
I would not date a smoker.
Maybe I'm just being a dick. I smoke, I can see how they can be annoying and unpleasant if one doesn't smoke. That being said I don't understand how it can be some super incredibly disgusting thing..were you ever around smoke as a kid? My mom's been a smoker my whole life, so I got used to it I guess, and as a kid it never really bugged me.
But I would have some friends who would claim they were "allergic to smoke" and would cough and gag uncontrollably when someone was smoking nearby or if someone smelled like smoke. I don't get it, just seems like pussy behavior to me.
Anyway OP, you not wanting her to smoke would be like if she didn't want you to smoke weed. I would say if you love her, try to not worry about the smoking, but always be supportive if she decides to quit. Quitting is always easier when you have someone to rely on and do things with when you aren't smoking.
--------------------
All drugs should be legal
|
koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,261
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: halo]
#16024146 - 03/31/12 02:53 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
halo said:
But I would have some friends who would claim they were "allergic to smoke" and would cough and gag uncontrollably when someone was smoking nearby or if someone smelled like smoke. I don't get it, just seems like pussy behavior to me.
It isn't. Many people are very sensitive to smoke. Children in particular. I'm not saying there isn't the occasional drama queen mixed up in the batch, but for most people, the response is genuine.
|
StateOfMind404
Drifter.
Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 2,550
Loc: Terra-firma
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: koraks]
#16024370 - 03/31/12 03:41 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
koraks said:
Sure, it's natural to want your partner to be healthy and happy. But how pleasant is it to have a partner who always holds this against you whenever you do something unhealthy? That sort of stuff, however well it's meant, can get really annoying really fast.
That's not what I meant, but yes, it would get annoying if someone 'held it against me' whenever i did something unhealthy.
--------------------
No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again. - Buddha
We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home. - Aboriginal Proverb.
|
 pwnasaurus
Stranger
Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 8,289
Loc: Canada 
Last seen: 4 seconds
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: halo]
#16024932 - 03/31/12 05:54 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
halo said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
trip forever said:
Do you love (like) her?
If so, put up with the cigarettes.
Don't lose someone for something as silly as them smoking a cigarette.
It's not worth it to lose a relationship over someone enjoying a smoke. (especially if she covers it up for you, then it definitely shouldn't be a problem)
It really depends. You think it's silly, I think they're fucking disgusting. You can't cover it up. I almost gag when in get in the elevator at work after someone went on a smoke break.
I would not date a smoker.
Maybe I'm just being a dick. I smoke, I can see how they can be annoying and unpleasant if one doesn't smoke. That being said I don't understand how it can be some super incredibly disgusting thing..were you ever around smoke as a kid? My mom's been a smoker my whole life, so I got used to it I guess, and as a kid it never really bugged me.
But I would have some friends who would claim they were "allergic to smoke" and would cough and gag uncontrollably when someone was smoking nearby or if someone smelled like smoke. I don't get it, just seems like pussy behavior to me.
Anyway OP, you not wanting her to smoke would be like if she didn't want you to smoke weed. I would say if you love her, try to not worry about the smoking, but always be supportive if she decides to quit. Quitting is always easier when you have someone to rely on and do things with when you aren't smoking.
No I haven't really been around smoke at all. Neither of my parents smoke, almost none of my friends do, and I find it filthy. The smell is absolutely disgusting - you wouldn't understand, since you're a smoker yourself, especially because you grew up around it. The smell of cigarettes is absolutely rancid to me.
|
Bassfreak
Bass in Your Face
Registered: 08/25/10
Posts: 4,567
Last seen: 4 minutes, 3 seconds
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: pwnasaurus]
#16024968 - 03/31/12 06:07 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
my ex smokes butts and the thing i used to hate about it the most was to get up and go outside in the winter
and its kinda annoying how often they wanna fuckijng smoke too, its like every couple hours
i have one group of friends who all smoke butts and one that doesnt smoke at all and being around the non smokers (cigs at least) is way better cuz i dont have to deal with them smoking all fucking
cigarettes suck, they dont do shit...in my mind there is literally no reason to start smoking butts
the only time i will smoke them is if im tripping or rolling and replacing cigs with weed so i dont blaze an 8th or more in a night, but ill BLOW thru a pack in like 2 or 3 hours
--------------------
"Please take a break from OTD. You are obsessed with Burke to the point of threatening rape to his fiance. Please stop with the drama about Burke because you were banned elsewhere on the site for harassing/trolling him"
"Are you serious? You ask for a reduction in your ban (and get one), and you don't even have the decency to reciprocate with a little bit of goodwill toward the people who volunteer their time here? The only thing I asked of you is to keep your asshole comments in check, and one of the first things you do after I reduce your ban is to troll a moderator. That shitty attitude isn't going to fly."
Ban O Matic points - 66
|
Dr. P. Silocybin
I dig love
Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 1,586
Loc: limbo
Last seen: 46 minutes, 23 seconds
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: Bassfreak]
#16025026 - 03/31/12 06:23 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Bassfreak said:
cigarettes suck, they dont do shit...in my mind there is literally no reason to start smoking
the only time i will smoke them is if im tripping or rolling and replacing cigs with weed so i dont blaze an 8th or more in a night, but ill BLOW thru a pack in like 2 or 3 hours
|
Crystal G
Ultimate Scumbag and Douchebag
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 4,883
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 2 minutes
|
|
Quote:
Larrythescaryrex said:
Listen to me you little worm. I've lost too many people in my life due to piddly shit and far to many of those have been girls I have dated. if you fucking leave or drive away some one you actually love over fucking smoking, some day, maybe not today or tomorrow, but someday, you will want to kick your own ass. DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS.
QFT
I applaud your sincerity and your honesty
And I totally agree, if smoking is the only thing that's causing problems in your relationship, then your relationship is going goooooood
--------------------
Men who have a fear of women who exert control of their sexualities, know that they wouldn't be able to control or easily manipulate women who are aggressive, dominant, or defiant. Women who refuse to passively cooperate or adhere to stereotypical gender roles. So they use social stigma and social shame and call us "sluts" to try to implant fear and guilt in us, in an effort to control and coerce our behaviors. It is a completely selfish philosophy that stems from the belief that they OWN women.
Thus, me taking control of my sexuality is my big way of saying "FUCK YOU" to the institution, and another "FUCK YOU" to the patriarchy!  
|
pwnasaurus
Stranger
Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 8,289
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 4 seconds
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: Crystal G]
#16034399 - 04/02/12 05:41 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I don't know how you guys are managing to miss this, but it REALLY depends on how YOU individually view smoking/how disgusting you find it in terms of how big of a deal it is in the relationship.
I find it absolutely filthy. I took one puff of a cigarette once, it was absolutely vile. The smells disgusts me. I would never date a smoker - I'm not kissing that shit, nevermind having the smell lingering around ALL the time.
It's great that YOU don't think smoking is a big deal, but some people do, and for some, it's a deal breaker.
|
Enlil
LIL-9000
Registered: 08/16/03
Posts: 11,428
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: pwnasaurus]
#16037290 - 04/03/12 09:24 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
trip forever said:
Do you love (like) her?
If so, put up with the cigarettes.
Don't lose someone for something as silly as them smoking a cigarette.
It's not worth it to lose a relationship over someone enjoying a smoke. (especially if she covers it up for you, then it definitely shouldn't be a problem)
It really depends. You think it's silly, I think they're fucking disgusting. You can't cover it up. I almost gag when in get in the elevator at work after someone went on a smoke break.
I would not date a smoker.
I have to agree with this...
If you can tolerate it, do so...but don't pretend like being a smoker is just one simple fact...It affects lots of other things...Everything smells nasty, kisses can be truly disgusting...
For me, it turns a hot, sexy, piece of ass into a walking ashtray..
To the OP: It's most likely not going to get better...as she gets more settled in the relationship, she will start to let her guard down more and more...even if she quits, it probably won't last...If you can't tolerate her smoking in front of you on a regular basis, it's time to leave...because that is what this will turn into.
--------------------
Ask a defense attorney
Fuck the Amish
Rail_Gun said, "And those kids in CT deserved to die and I'm glad they're dead. I am glad that the survivors will have to "live with it" too. hahaha"
Listerine said, "i want genocide for most of africa"
|
Bassfreak
Bass in Your Face
Registered: 08/25/10
Posts: 4,567
Last seen: 4 minutes, 3 seconds
|
|
Quote:
Dr. P. Silocybin said:
Quote:
Bassfreak said:
cigarettes suck, they dont do shit...in my mind there is literally no reason to start smoking
the only time i will smoke them is if im tripping or rolling and replacing cigs with weed so i dont blaze an 8th or more in a night, but ill BLOW thru a pack in like 2 or 3 hours
do you have a brain, just wondering
im beginning to think that pic u posted is actually a picture of you lol
--------------------
"Please take a break from OTD. You are obsessed with Burke to the point of threatening rape to his fiance. Please stop with the drama about Burke because you were banned elsewhere on the site for harassing/trolling him"
"Are you serious? You ask for a reduction in your ban (and get one), and you don't even have the decency to reciprocate with a little bit of goodwill toward the people who volunteer their time here? The only thing I asked of you is to keep your asshole comments in check, and one of the first things you do after I reduce your ban is to troll a moderator. That shitty attitude isn't going to fly."
Ban O Matic points - 66
|
tito123
Registered: 01/23/10
Posts: 1,508
Last seen: 4 days, 9 hours
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: Bassfreak]
#16037636 - 04/03/12 11:52 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
|
Dr. P. Silocybin
I dig love
Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 1,586
Loc: limbo
Last seen: 46 minutes, 23 seconds
|
Re: Cigarettes in relationships [Re: Bassfreak] 1
#16038295 - 04/03/12 03:12 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Bassfreak said:
there is literally no reason to start smoking
Quote:
Bassfreak said:
I only smoke for the following reasons...
|
SoreSpore
Sweet & Cuddly
Registered: 03/06/12
Posts: 6,482
Loc: Under The Blankets
|
|
Don't fold into the peer pressure of smoking. I wouldn't say anything if you already smoked, but for your health; don't pick up the cig. It is your choice, BUT
If I told you I was dating a stripper who couldn't put down the bolo so I was going to pick it up; would you stop me?  A little more severe, but the health complications associated with smoking are killer. I've lost both my parents to cigarettes.
| |
|
|
|
|
Images only 
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Shop for: 
Edit 
Reply 
Anonymous
