|
Anonymous #1
|
 Relationship after being cheated on 
#15990068 - 03/24/12 03:41 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
It has been a year since my girlfriend has cheated on me. I decided to give her a second chance, I don't know how it is going to work out, as I still do not trust her. She is still in contact with one of the guys friend's and I don't think that is fair to me at all. Am I being paranoid and unreasonable or do you think i am right thinking that she has to cut off ALL ties to him?
|
 shLong
 
Registered: 03/05/10
Posts: 10,259
Loc: 
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15990076 - 03/24/12 03:44 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
How about NOT getting back together.
What makes you think some magical revelation has occurred to change things the 2nd time around
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: shLong]
#15990084 - 03/24/12 03:47 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I don't think anything magical has happened. I am just in love and stupid
|
ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 12,629
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15990160 - 03/24/12 04:03 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
im going to guess you're young, and probably have some self esteem issues, and that this is probably one of the first 5 serious relationships you have had?
you gotta walk away man, she doesnt respect your feelings. Yes, its great getting laid all the time, but dont let some of the best years of your life get wasted by someone that doesnt really care for you.
--------------------
PEACE
 zippoz
"in times of widespread chaos and cofusion, it has ben the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m anagment, too much programming and controll, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"
"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: ZippoZ]
#15990963 - 03/24/12 08:04 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I'll admit. Both of those are true. It is hard to leave someone after years who you become so emotionally attached to. I'm having trouble taking that step...
|
WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,492
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15991057 - 03/24/12 08:30 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Get rid of her and don't ever take back a cheater again.
--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
|
shLong
Registered: 03/05/10
Posts: 10,259
Loc:
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15991096 - 03/24/12 08:41 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I'll admit. Both of those are true. It is hard to leave someone after years who you become so emotionally attached to. I'm having trouble taking that step...
Its extremely tough..been there, done that.
Be strong and active til it passes
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: shLong]
#15991112 - 03/24/12 08:44 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
shLong said:
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I'll admit. Both of those are true. It is hard to leave someone after years who you become so emotionally attached to. I'm having trouble taking that step...
Its extremely tough..been there, done that.
Be strong and active til it passes
Can I ask how long it took before you got over it? I have lived with this girl for 2 years. I have tried to break up with her but it is so hard for me. It doesn't help that she completely flips out when I try with talks of suicide, etc... Man, its probably the hardest thing to see a person you love loose such a big aspect of their life. When I leave won't have anything. No real place to stay, no transportation. Sad but true
|
Anonymous #2
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15991277 - 03/24/12 09:31 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
well, your just going get more and more stuck dude, get out while you can.
|
Anonymous #3
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: ZippoZ] 1
#15991437 - 03/24/12 10:26 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
ZippoZ said:
im going to guess you're young, and probably have some self esteem issues, and that this is probably one of the first 5 serious relationships you have had?
you gotta walk away man, she doesnt respect your feelings. Yes, its great getting laid all the time, but dont let some of the best years of your life get wasted by someone that doesnt really care for you.
Or....
Keep getting laid while you look for a new girl.
Thats a win win for you. Sex and a new girl.
|
Anonymous #4
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #3]
#15991485 - 03/24/12 10:39 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
You might become infected with HIV if she keeps cheating tho
|
keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread
Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 1,387
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #4]
#15991670 - 03/24/12 11:23 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Anyone who threatens suicide as a way to keep you is a scumbag. Move on.
--------------------
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story."
|
ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 12,629
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: keyohnah]
#15992145 - 03/25/12 01:54 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
keyohnah said:
Anyone who threatens suicide as a way to keep you is a scumbag. Move on.
there is a point here, not that your girl is a scum bag, but something else entirely....
This sort of behavior is usually going to come from someone who has some issues themselves. perhaps young inexperienced, and also having some self esteem issues.
Now, whats significant about the possibility of both of you having these issues, makes it sound pretty likely that in addition to the existing issues in your relationship, that you and her are Co-Dependent on each other...
let me ask you this poster, and disregard this if this relationship is your first serious one, did your previous relationships follow the trend of the one you are in now, in any way?
--------------------
PEACE
zippoz
"in times of widespread chaos and cofusion, it has ben the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m anagment, too much programming and controll, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"
"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
|
 migraineur
Geezer
Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 1,193
Last seen: 3 hours, 9 minutes
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: ZippoZ]
#15992250 - 03/25/12 02:28 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Dude, threatening suicide to make you not break up with her is emotional blackmail. Most people wouldn't even do it anyway and she's saying it to try to control you.
Some psycho bitch tried this on my brother. He said he was calling her an ambulance (which he did) and he hung up and that was the last of it. She didn't even go through with her threats.
Get the fuck out while you can. The last thing you want is this girl giving you an STD and a kid (which might not be yours).
Start looking for new girls and even hook up with other ones. It's only fair!
--------------------
Fatwa on you!
|
shLong
Registered: 03/05/10
Posts: 10,259
Loc:
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: migraineur]
#15992339 - 03/25/12 02:51 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Mine was 4.5 years and it took a month or so before I felt ok again.
She cheated too
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: shLong]
#15993084 - 03/25/12 10:31 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
shLong said:
Mine was 4.5 years and it took a month or so before I felt ok again.
She cheated too
Wow, that must have been painful after being together so long. I am at the two year mark, but it seems like a lot longer considering we have lived and spent everyday together.
We are definitely co-dependent on each other, and this is my first real serious relationship. I just never thought it would be this hard to move on. I had to find out in such a shitty way, looking through her phone. She didn't even have the dignity to tell me. Looking back makes me so angry, that before I found out she was willing to talk to this guy on the phone while in front of me. How the fuck can someone be so deceptive and emotionless. 
|
migraineur
Geezer
Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 1,193
Last seen: 3 hours, 9 minutes
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15993166 - 03/25/12 11:02 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Dude, break up with her and save yourself from more torment. You've lost trust for her which is what relationships need. This will always be on your mind. She's also talking to that other dude which sounds suspicious and is fucking with your mind even more.
How did she react when you confronted her? I know some people whose cheating partners got angry at the non cheating partner because they said that the non cheating partner violated their privacy by checking their phones. Many people try to shift blame though when they're caught.
If you are going to break up with her then you might want to plan it before doing it. If you've grown shrooms around her then get rid of any evidence that she might be able to use against you. It's a good idea to move things out when they're not around too. At least move things that are important or expensive.
Maybe you could have some revenge sex by fucking one of her friends or family members. The mental satisfaction would be great.
--------------------
Fatwa on you!
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: migraineur]
#15993246 - 03/25/12 11:33 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
migraineur said:
Dude, break up with her and save yourself from more torment. You've lost trust for her which is what relationships need. This will always be on your mind. She's also talking to that other dude which sounds suspicious and is fucking with your mind even more.
How did she react when you confronted her? I know some people whose cheating partners got angry at the non cheating partner because they said that the non cheating partner violated their privacy by checking their phones. Many people try to shift blame though when they're caught.
If you are going to break up with her then you might want to plan it before doing it. If you've grown shrooms around her then get rid of any evidence that she might be able to use against you. It's a good idea to move things out when they're not around too. At least move things that are important or expensive.
Maybe you could have some revenge sex by fucking one of her friends or family members. The mental satisfaction would be great.
She broke down and basically begged me to take her back. Telling me that it is the dumbest thing she had ever done and it would never happen again. I tried to take a break but we live together and I didn't really have a place to go. Breaking up with her would be a drastic change. I would have to end up moving back with my parents, which at 22 isn't the most desirable thing.. But I feel like it would be good to get away and be distracted a bit. They live in a completely different place, so I think being in a new area would also help a lot.
I never forgot it, I had to read through some really vile shit to get to the truth. Truth be told I guess I just never felt strong enough to go through with ending the relationship. I think we are both very co-dependent on each other. She is really the one getting screwed though, she lives in my place, uses my car to get to work, and will probably never meet a guy that treats her as well as I do. She is going to loose all of that. I've been contemplating breaking up with her on a daily basis since the cheating, but I seem to have a bad habit of staying in shitty situations. I know its something that needs to be done though, considering any trust in the future is basically an impossibility.
But man, if the cheating had not occurred and if she stayed faithful, I would be in an amazing place. I do love her to death despite everything, but I guess all good things have to come to an end.
|
Anonymous #5
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#15993308 - 03/25/12 11:53 AM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
You Just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
|
migraineur
Geezer
Registered: 02/15/10
Posts: 1,193
Last seen: 3 hours, 9 minutes
|
Re: Relationship after being cheated on [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15993329 - 03/25/12 12:00 PM (1 year, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Man, being 22 and living with your parents isn't bad, especially if you've got easy going parents. It will also give you some time to save some money and you will have more time to do all of the things that you want to do. You can use that time to improve yourself and hit the gym or get back into a neglected hobby or catch up with friends you haven't seen for a while. Also, having the company of loved ones is what you need when you're in a bad mental state. You'll also be away from your cheating girlfriend and if she tries to rock up at your family's house to cause a drama then your parents will have that older person power over her. Nobody wants to look bad in front of their significant other's parents.
Of course it will hurt at first but it's already hurting you and you're losing more of your life being unhappy. Life is short and it goes by quickly. You can wonder how things could've been but what's happened has happened. It seems that you know you should leave her but you're delaying what might be the inevitable.
--------------------
Fatwa on you!
|
|
Images only 
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Edit 
Reply 
Anonymous
