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White Beard said:
Stop trying and let go.
Embrace feeling distant from your personality. Your attachment to your personality is what is causing you grief. Because it is impermanent. You can never fix you because you is the problem.

It sounds like you're running out of options. You'll have to let go soon.

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I was waiting for that, lol. I did let go, letting go was getting drunk daily, benzos daily and opiates whenever I could. I could feel my health detiorating but I did feel good in the process mentally (when altered of course, and residual effects sometimes)

I've never quite understood the letting go and I don't mean to anyone that can attest to letting go and thinking it has helped them but I don't think they have suffered quite as mentally as hard. I have tried to let go, I have tried not trying to let go, I have tried trying, I have simlpy not even tried, yet I don't see anything, I personally see this as an easy way for someone else to try and help when they have no other solid advice, no offense but I see it as spiritualmumbo jumbo with no backing. If I really want to let go I will take some oxy's and nod, I can't live like that though, If I could simply just let go that would be great but I don't think the neurology of our brains can make that possible, in an instant I mean anyway (of course over time).

I'm not looking for a quick fix, but trust me I would love one, I am willing to make an effort but when obstacles like these pop up it makes it very hard.

Sometimes I don't even know what I'm talking about when I rant like this, I guess that's my mind/reality dissconnect. 

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White Beard said:
I definitely think meditation makes dp/dr stronger, but if you get used to it the anxiety will dissipate and there will be more of a sense of freedom. That's what I did. Then you realize dp/dr isn't a curse, but a gift.

You can do it!

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Scantraxx said:
I haven't meditated for a while, I was just preoccupied with other things. My anxiety is pretty constant, but the depersonalization has not been that much of a worry for a fair while until recently. I've started meditating again, just 10-20mins in the morning and night. I can't say for sure that it is the meditation but after meditating I feel very spacey right after and it happens to stay.

I am thinking that maybe the depersonalization attacks are coming back as a result of turning inward through meditation, my main reason for meditating is to cut back the anxiety seeing as it is proven to decrease grey matter in the amygdala. So it seems rather strange that depersonalization is the result of anxiety and evern more stange that it intensifies even when meditation is proven to help anxiety. The meditation has not helped the anxiety at all and the dp is worse so in turn the anxiety is worse.

I am not sure what I should do, I am making an effort to really get my life back on track as I am being supported financially by others (This can't happen forever) as I am unable to work and do not qualify for compensation. But the meditating seems to make it worse and no drugs or therapy has worked at all, everything makes it worse in the long run (no wonder I abuse opiates, alcohol and benzos gah!)

Also, if your response is to just stop trying and let go etc, I don't want to hear it.

I actually just came to post about the depersonalization and meditation but now it seems it's turned into a rant about how screwed up my life is as per usualy which is rather annoying. Anyway, don't know how much help anyone can be but may aswell post this and see some other people views.

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LSDenthusiast said:
After a series of events a few years back, I began to have physical symptoms on a daily basis. Becoming stronger during meditation and afterwards.

Most common for me, is intense burning and heat in my solar plexus region and spine along with a kind of nauseous feeling. I used to enjoy eating food, now it just seems like a burden. Swallowing has become difficult at times. Food tastes very neutral too.

I'm not someone who is prone to headaches/migraines, and after those events and recently after meditation. I get intense migraines, the pain is located more in the top middle portion of my head.

Usually 1-2 hours everyday I go through a period of feeling very ill, I usually have to take a moment and stop what I'm doing to allow it to pass. It's a combination of what I described with an overall malaise feeling along with psychological effects. It's as though the senses are so sharp, and it makes the world intense. Sensory overload. In return the intensity makes me nauseous and ill. In the past sometimes on a strong psychedelic trip, I would get the similar effects.

Recently I've been getting a sharp chest pain on my left side. That's new, I have no idea why.

Some people may tell me to go get checked out. I did a year ago, because I had what I thought might have been a seizure on 3 different occasions within a short time frame. It's hard to know because you're not really fully conscious during a seizure. But at the time I also had a temperature of 104 and that may have caused the seizures. I haven't had any problems since then. Doctor recommended I get an MRI and EEG, which I did and everything came back normal.

Then again, I've had strange episodes since I was younger. I recently found out my sister has had the same episodes as I. Usually once a month or so, since I was 8. I would get this very strange feeling, along with a kind of speeding up in my head. Which made whatever was happening in the world as a kind of echo inside me. But the "me" was not present. It feels like falling into a black hole. Which then opened up to what sounds like a large gathering of people all talking at the same time. Sometimes yelling. But I can barely make out what they're saying. As a kid I remember it scaring me. I never told anyone.

It used to happen on a monthly basis for along time, but in the past 7 years or so its become much more rare after getting involved with meditation, etc. Maybe only 1-3 times a year.

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