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 Muufokfok
aka BoxyBrown
 
Registered: 02/14/07
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 irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend 
#15963798 - 03/18/12 05:34 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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so ive been dating this girl since new years day, we've known eachother since 3 weeks before that. when we're together usually its pretty great, we're affectionate, we're both organized/OCDish, watch funny shows together, we both like eachothers music tastes and clothing, play with eachother, eat awesome food and have great sex. the sex is only kept to about 10-30min usually every other day, but we both like it that way, (keeps it original doesnt ruin it) but theres a few complications sometimes. Her dad is pretty rich and usually gets her whatever she wants (only reasonably, nothing that she doesnt need). She breaks things alot, for instance she'll lose her 10th iphone and he'll get her another one. she lives in a little townhouse kinda thing with lots of space and a guest room cause her roommate never moved in. she only does 3 classes in college at a time, has never worked a job in her life.
yet somehow she finds ways to make conflict in both of our lives.
she has a child like mind, which i love, but from it i believe it stems many problems.
- she can be an alcoholic - when she drinks she can be a total bitch to me sometimes she usually makes it up to me the next day, but sometimes when shes drunk i cant fucking stand her one bit.
- whenever she disagrees with me on something, she undermines my opinion and is condescending to me. I REALLY CANT FUCKING STAND THIS, THIS IS THE WORST PART ABOUT HER (this is what i get for dating a leo with me being a capricorn). And this particularly happens with things i feel passionate about, like the economy and education being bullshit in our country
- her dad's a republican and she supports Mitt Romney 
- she doesnt like documentaries, she thinks almost all documentaries are boring...
- she'll never listen to NPR with me while we drive
- she still has the highschoolesque hedonistic mind (only much less so from her addiction days), she asked me to get coke for her last night from my best buddy who gets good white. he didnt pick up but i wouldve lied anyways.
- she likes to go downtown sometimes, which i fucking hate. id rather be at a house party, or camping.
- this one time after meditation we went to vape a bowl, after my first hit, it hit me hard and painful in the lungs *(i had pneumonia a long time ago and gave me asthma in my right lung)* and suddenly/randomly i started crying(this was before we were about to go out for the night). the most she did was sit by me and kiss my cheek once. she felt bad, but i felt that this was an unplanned test on my part. she couldve been very compassionate and held me or at least held my hand...
I really want to work with her, maybe just leave out political and social(as and society) talks with her, but i feel constricted. aside from these negatives shes really cute, attractive, balanced, and caring sometimes.
i feel like this is sort of an assessment of my girlfriend just to see if i can make things better, if i should consider ending it for my own benefit or if i should continue.
If any of you took the time to read this or even respond, i greatly appreciate you 
i forgot to add what my part was in participation of the relationship: i take her out to dinner(i pay) about twice a week, i give her back massages occasionally, i always listen to her, get her to laugh, use the extent of my energy to give her the best sex i can, and usually go out with her once a week. however sometimes im forgetful of small things, or act rude in public in a minor way and it gets her pissed off unreasonably.
i forgot to mention more importantly that shes 2 years older than me im 22 shes 24. so its kinda to hard to be consistently dominant in say, but i feel as though day by day im losing it. 
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"I'm guessing the 'ancient lost drug' of india is psychedelic mushrooms. The correlation between sacred cows (in hinduism) and magic mushrooms growing on cow dung is too strong to ignore, if you ask me."
  
As the ocean waves, the universe "peoples"
~Alan Watts~
Edited by Muufokfok (03/18/12 05:59 PM)
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 fbi365
Captain of the Sinking Ship
Registered: 02/07/11
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 Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Muufokfok]
#15964087 - 03/18/12 07:08 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Ahhhhh. Classic case of your dating a stuck up spoiled bitch. I bet she's shallow and pretty stupid too.
You can't change people. And its pretty controlling of you to think you can/should
She won't change because she has never had to compromise anything for herself her whole life.
She will probably just dump you at the first opportune moment because that is the type of person she is. Doesn't care about anybody but herself.
Happened to my best buddy because he got involved with a fuckin superficial rich bitch.
Just sayin...
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the way out is through
Pwnasaurus said 'Most contradictory post of the year goes to you!'
 
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Muufokfok
aka BoxyBrown
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 2,114
Loc: america's wang
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: fbi365]
#15964181 - 03/18/12 07:37 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
fbi365 said:
Ahhhhh. Classic case of your dating a stuck up spoiled bitch. I bet she's shallow and pretty stupid too.
You can't change people. And its pretty controlling of you to think you can/should
She won't change because she has never had to compromise anything for herself her whole life.
She will probably just dump you at the first opportune moment because that is the type of person she is. Doesn't care about anybody but herself.
Happened to my best buddy because he got involved with a fuckin superficial rich bitch.
Just sayin...
this is what i was thinking... although she always tells me how much she likes me, my body, and the sex i give her is apparently the best shes ever had. im honestly just hoping she cheats on me at this point so i dont have to go through any guilt.
the fact that i still masturbate a few times a week is probably a sign too.
i forgot to add that we met on mushrooms and have tripped together twice on it. also i gave her her first dmt experience. all my friends tend to tell me that shes a really nice girl...
Edited by Muufokfok (03/18/12 07:47 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Muufokfok]
#15964244 - 03/18/12 07:57 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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@OP, it sounds like two things - one your girlfriend is spoiled. But you also have totally different expectations and some of them are a little silly it seems.
Whats more importantly, its easy to tell you are not compatible.
But stop blaming her. Its both of you.
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Muufokfok
aka BoxyBrown
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 2,114
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15964284 - 03/18/12 08:05 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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youre very right sir.
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"I'm guessing the 'ancient lost drug' of india is psychedelic mushrooms. The correlation between sacred cows (in hinduism) and magic mushrooms growing on cow dung is too strong to ignore, if you ask me."
As the ocean waves, the universe "peoples"
~Alan Watts~
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 yogabunny
proper peach
Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,800
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Muufokfok] 1
#15964330 - 03/18/12 08:18 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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your gf is spoiled & immature and given her age it's going to take her A WHILE to get to the level of emotional maturity you're looking for. plus it sounds like you don't have too much in common intellectually and i feel it's important to connect on that level with a partner.....
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qman
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: yogabunny]
#15964685 - 03/18/12 09:41 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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At the age of 22, why are you so invested in this girl? I mean what are you doing? College, working, planning your future, or are you wasting your precious time on this spoiled girl.
This girl is a big waste of time, dump her and focus on your own life, this one will only bring you down.
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Muufokfok
aka BoxyBrown
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 2,114
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: qman]
#15964915 - 03/18/12 10:32 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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i am in college and work a bit. money is never a problem for me, thanks to help of parents and job, ive just never really had a girlfriend too much, they usually only last a week to the longest 2 months. this one is the longest at 2 monthes and a half.
i already have my AA going to have my BS in psyche next summer. i only take 3 classes at a time cause it helps me focus more that way and i get better grades.
i need to relax on my expectations like i did at the start, i mean i think we both like having our "me" time and we only hangout every other day, while i still have time to see friends and whatnot.
i think im gonna do less effort and caring.
i appreciate the perspectives and comments
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"I'm guessing the 'ancient lost drug' of india is psychedelic mushrooms. The correlation between sacred cows (in hinduism) and magic mushrooms growing on cow dung is too strong to ignore, if you ask me."
As the ocean waves, the universe "peoples"
~Alan Watts~
Edited by Muufokfok (03/18/12 10:32 PM)
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keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread
Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 1,441
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Muufokfok]
#15965700 - 03/19/12 02:11 AM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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Refuses to listen to NPR, supports Romney, condescending and insensitive to you...
I vote walk away, sounds like you deserve a more like minded and better person.
--------------------
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story."
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Muufokfok
aka BoxyBrown
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 2,114
Loc: america's wang
Last seen: 1 minute, 12 seconds
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: keyohnah]
#15965790 - 03/19/12 02:45 AM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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ill see how the next time we hangout goes. shes still into me, and hasnt been reading my recent faking to her the other day. and the condescending is only when i fuck up or bring up politics/social stuff.
ive thought it through and at most i would only bring it to a break(not breakup) if i needed to, but right now i feel no need. when i truly get disgusted and ticked off ill let her know.
i mean eventually ill have to break, but i still feel as though im being bias and that the positive outweighs the negative at this point still.
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"I'm guessing the 'ancient lost drug' of india is psychedelic mushrooms. The correlation between sacred cows (in hinduism) and magic mushrooms growing on cow dung is too strong to ignore, if you ask me."
As the ocean waves, the universe "peoples"
~Alan Watts~
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fireworks_god
SexyButt McDanger
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Muufokfok] 3
#15966452 - 03/19/12 10:18 AM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Muufokfok said:
(this is what i get for dating a leo with me being a capricorn).
Sorry but 
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If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
  
 
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keyohnah
the proverbial mind spread
Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 1,441
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: fireworks_god]
#15966659 - 03/19/12 11:53 AM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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Well, it sounds like you're really torn. One question that hasn't been asked unless I've missed it: have you spoken to her about the things that bother you? If she respects you, she'll listen and hopefully work on those things.
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"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story."
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Muufokfok
aka BoxyBrown
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 2,114
Loc: america's wang
Last seen: 1 minute, 12 seconds
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: keyohnah]
#15966719 - 03/19/12 12:17 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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yea i have on a few things.
i know it wont last forever, but i know she has to go to grad school by december. we'll see what happens. until a dispute(which will lead to break/breakup) im lessening my effort alot
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"I'm guessing the 'ancient lost drug' of india is psychedelic mushrooms. The correlation between sacred cows (in hinduism) and magic mushrooms growing on cow dung is too strong to ignore, if you ask me."
As the ocean waves, the universe "peoples"
~Alan Watts~
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fireworks_god
SexyButt McDanger
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Muufokfok]
#15966747 - 03/19/12 12:25 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Muufokfok said:
until a dispute(which will lead to break/breakup) im lessening my effort alot
Which will inevitably lead to the dispute you're hoping for.
--------------------
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
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Muufokfok
aka BoxyBrown
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 2,114
Loc: america's wang
Last seen: 1 minute, 12 seconds
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: fireworks_god]
#15966758 - 03/19/12 12:27 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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i just woke up, i cant even think about it now. i dont hope for a dispute, but i foresee her stubbornness happening again.
--------------------
"I'm guessing the 'ancient lost drug' of india is psychedelic mushrooms. The correlation between sacred cows (in hinduism) and magic mushrooms growing on cow dung is too strong to ignore, if you ask me."
As the ocean waves, the universe "peoples"
~Alan Watts~
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moonrockmushy
certifiedpoopface
Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 5,526
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Muufokfok]
#15966861 - 03/19/12 12:50 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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She sounds fun  , some people just are prone to fighting. If you don't like to fight then just don't let things escalate, stay calm. Don't let her break your spirit, and don't take things so seriously. If you are losing the will to do what it takes to maintain the relationship, might be time to move on.
She is dependant on her family, and sounds high-maintenance, so unless you get in good with the republican dad or are rich yourself I doubt it would last in the long term.
Quote:
im honestly just hoping she cheats on me at this point so i dont have to go through any guilt.
I think that is a bad attitude, why would you feel guilty in the first place?
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fireworks_god
SexyButt McDanger
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Muufokfok] 1
#15966933 - 03/19/12 01:14 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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Maybe you're not hoping for a dispute, but it seems like you're certainly aiming for it. You consider that the relationship will end at some point, and you've decided that a dispute is equivalent with either a break or breaking up completely. Then you specify that you're specifically going to put in a lot less effort until a dispute happens, which only makes a dispute increasingly likely.
Honestly it sounds like you're just wanting to give up on the relationship. I'd recommend doing it directly, as opposed to the really passive-aggressive way you seem to be entertaining. 
--------------------
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
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Muufokfok
aka BoxyBrown
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 2,114
Loc: america's wang
Last seen: 1 minute, 12 seconds
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: fireworks_god]
#15967036 - 03/19/12 01:47 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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im a pretty passive guy, i really should just delete those replies. my last gf i broke up with i gave her a last chance to redeem herself. she decided to come over to hang out with me, i figured, meh why not, then she was her same old annoying self, then i was direct with her and ended it. the current gf and i dont ever really have disputes and weve made up from disagreements, but i can stand for myself if need be. right now i just want to relax, and go with the flow.
my meditations have been lacking
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"I'm guessing the 'ancient lost drug' of india is psychedelic mushrooms. The correlation between sacred cows (in hinduism) and magic mushrooms growing on cow dung is too strong to ignore, if you ask me."
As the ocean waves, the universe "peoples"
~Alan Watts~
Edited by Muufokfok (03/19/12 01:49 PM)
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Muufokfok
aka BoxyBrown
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 2,114
Loc: america's wang
Last seen: 1 minute, 12 seconds
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: Muufokfok]
#15967578 - 03/19/12 04:21 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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alright im gonna do it, now i just need to know how to execute
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"I'm guessing the 'ancient lost drug' of india is psychedelic mushrooms. The correlation between sacred cows (in hinduism) and magic mushrooms growing on cow dung is too strong to ignore, if you ask me."
As the ocean waves, the universe "peoples"
~Alan Watts~
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yogabunny
proper peach
Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 7,800
Loc: ∞
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Re: irritation/confusion/duality with girlfriend [Re: fireworks_god]
#15968860 - 03/19/12 09:22 PM (1 year, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
fireworks_god said:
Maybe you're not hoping for a dispute, but it seems like you're certainly aiming for it. You consider that the relationship will end at some point, and you've decided that a dispute is equivalent with either a break or breaking up completely. Then you specify that you're specifically going to put in a lot less effort until a dispute happens, which only makes a dispute increasingly likely.
Honestly it sounds like you're just wanting to give up on the relationship. I'd recommend doing it directly, as opposed to the really passive-aggressive way you seem to be entertaining.
qft
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