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Anonymous #1
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 Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? 
#15891613 - 03/02/12 07:55 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Man, I never feel like I can be myself even though drugs are hardly a part of my life. It just seems that so often, drugs naturally would be a logical thing to introduce into a conversation. If you work in a professional environment, or anywhere really, you understand how you get grouped in with random people who you basically have to grin and bare being friends with. Lots of guys think they are hot stuff because they drink heavily. They listen to crappy shit and have a "song of the day" where they pick a song and play it on the ipod. It is retarded, but I would like to fit in somehow. They only ask those of their ilk for suggestions. Think Nickelback, Beyonce, etc. I wonder if they heard something actually good if they would like it? You know, probably not.
So I guess the music thing is relevant here because a lot of the stuff I like has a psychedelic bend to it. I would prefer Jimi Hendrix...this other guy likes the Monkees. The MONKEES? The fuck is wrong with him. I want to say, "What the fuck is wrong with you, just take some acid, please, and tell me if you think the Monkees are still talented". How else can you tell someone that they have a taste for absolute shit?
And I guess the other reason I never feel able to share anything is because everyone has drinking stories from college....I mostly have crazy drug stories. If I told them as if everything resulted from ethanol induced inebriation, it wouldn't quite hold water. I did take too many drugs in college probably, ...turning it into a hobby, an intellectual interest, and social outlet with a couple close friends...so I guess I have sort of alienated myself in letting it become too all consuming. But now it's a big part of my past.
Everyone thinks I am straight edge and unadventurous when I feel just the opposite. I think part of it might be that I just work with complete douchebags.
There was more to this than being a drug user. I like to dig more deeply into topics and sort of bathe in the silence when a point of interest comes up, and see if anything worth saying pops into my head. But at work the conversation always moves so fast from one topic to another you can never really say anything. "Oh, bananas are good for you! How wonderful! Coffee tastes like gasoline. You have drank gasoline? No. But I believe it smells better than it tastes." Okay, I can't even think of anything else to demonstrate the inanity because it is all too forgettable.
Sorry if this was boring. I feel like the core of my being is shriveling into nothingness. I feel okay, just ...alone and zombified.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15891625 - 03/02/12 07:57 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Welcome to the world of stupids.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#15891684 - 03/02/12 08:12 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
Welcome to the world of  s.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #3]
#15891732 - 03/02/12 08:23 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Dude, chat about "normal" things at your job. Life, your new lawn, how you have this new car wax. Then get real friends who you can share things with.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #4]
#15891828 - 03/02/12 08:44 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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I try, I admit I am not very good at it. Also I don't want to spend more time with most of the people in my department.
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Anonymous #5
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15892478 - 03/02/12 11:21 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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i get what u mean dude. i could totally understand. it's funny cause i've been thinking lately that im uncomfortable being more open about myself online. i feel uncomfortable posting statuses online or shit like that. i was actually thinking of making a blog just to post random politics, drug and music stuff. i'm sort of considering it but i really keep to myself a lot but yeah i know what u mean op.
i'd rather stare at the walls then talk about stupid mainstream things. 
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Anonymous #6
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #5]
#15892702 - 03/03/12 12:25 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Just lie.
Fuck it.
At least you can have a laugh inside your head about it...
Just tell them you're whoever you want them to think you are.
You don't need to impress them, so why not just entertain yourself?
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Anonymous #7
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #6]
#15892708 - 03/03/12 12:27 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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I avoid conversations at most costs.
I find my mind to be far more interesting than the interaction with most other human beings. Those whom I would be interested in conversing with probably feel how I do in regards to the majority of populations.
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Anonymous #8
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #7]
#15894125 - 03/03/12 12:42 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #7 said:
I avoid conversations at most costs.
I find my mind to be far more interesting than the interaction with most other human beings. Those whom I would be interested in conversing with probably feel how I do in regards to the majority of populations.
Very social.
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Anonymous #9
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #8]
#15894392 - 03/03/12 02:05 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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if your not talking about fishing or ufos, usually your talking about drugs. its completely normal. this is y when our generation is older an in office that drugs will likely b legal 
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Anonymous #6
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #7]
#15894935 - 03/03/12 04:49 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #7 said:
I avoid conversations at most costs.
I find my mind to be far more interesting than the interaction with most other human beings. Those whom I would be interested in conversing with probably feel how I do in regards to the majority of populations.
You're not the only one!
This describes me pretty well.
I have accepted, though that I have a much greater potential for success (on my own terms) in life if I can get a bit better at talking to people (I almost fear it at times). Because of this I am going to try to talk to a stranger every day. I imagine this will start out painful and awkward, but in time I hope that even if I am still not better at talking to people, I at least understand them better or have more urge to.
I'm that way because I'm an INTP who grew up in an oppressive environment
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Anonymous #10
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #6]
#15896373 - 03/03/12 10:29 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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I'm an INTJ with the same type of background. I've been pushing myself to go outside of my comfort zone socially recently. It's a hard as fuck job market right now and social connections get you jobz. Why compete against 500 equally qualified people when you can just waltz right in because you know someone? 
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Anonymous #11
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #10]
#15896530 - 03/03/12 11:04 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Dont let your drug use define who you are OP thats ridiculous. Talking about only drugs or drug related things with people seems cool in highschool (not saying you are in highschool) but once I became an adult its realy a fucking bore. Sometimes I catch myself doing it and stop because its realy generic and doesnt lead to anything interesting except "remember that one time" type of shit. I love getting high and doing different drugs but you dont wanna be known as "that guy" because all you talk about is drugs or drug related music etc.
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Anonymous #12
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #11]
#15896575 - 03/03/12 11:17 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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I utterly and totally understand what you're talking about, OP. It's the same exact way at my office. It's really unbearable at times. And all the people in my age bracket want to do is talk popular culture and go to lunch together so they can gossip about everybody.
I fucking hate it, so I do my own thing. They probably hate my guts and talk mad shit about me, but whateva. And then with my superiors, they're so ridiculously uptight and anal that you have to watch every word that comes out of your mouth. I feel like I have to be a complete fake just to fit in or be halfway accepted. It's tiring having to put forth that type of act everyday. If I didn't though, I'd be fired in about 2 seconds and it pays too good for me to give it up right now.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #12]
#15896691 - 03/03/12 11:49 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah, I used to work with a bunch of Tongans.
Nothing against Tongans, it's just that it meant that they were all straight edge christians. They would all assume based on the fact that I have dreadlocks and have a pretty (how to explain it) chill nature and speech pattern that I did lots of drugs. In reality I would just go home from work, smoke a cone or 2, go to sleep, wake up and go to work. When I quit, the guy right under the big boss shook my hand and gave me a little speech, then stopped shaking it (still holding my hand tightly) and said really slowly "lay off the drugs, man. I worry sometimes..." I didn't say anything, but I should have told him he disgusted me. All the Tongans I worked with treated me like I was an idiot (which was hilarious because they were all dumb as all fuck - it was a run-of-the-mill factory full of machine operators and laborers).
I never mentioned drug use or anything else like that to them, but they often assumed I was high at work and I had to defend myself with frequency. Because I live inside my head, I don't really have any hobbies, and nothing to make idle small-talk about in the lunch room. I don't really interact with the 'real world' other than when necessary (working, eating etc.) and spend my recreation time reading books, browsing the internet and doing drugs.
I think with my next job if I end up in a similar situation I'll just try and develop a reputation for being extremely quiet - unfortunately people will always see me and make their assumptions... How come a girl can have dreadlocks and say it's just a hair style, and people will believe her, but if I guy says it he's assumed to be a lying drug-addicted ne'er-do-well?
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Anonymous #12
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #6]
#15896743 - 03/04/12 12:08 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Speaking of Tongans, I work with several as well -- but one in particular...this 20 something girl who sees herself as brilliant, but in reality is the dumbest and most oblivious cunt that you'd ever meet in your life. Yet in her closed off mind she sees everyone around her as inferior.
How are some people so oblivious of their faults? If anything, myself, I'm aware of my deficiencies to a fault.
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Anonymous #13
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15896780 - 03/04/12 12:24 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
So I guess the music thing is relevant here because a lot of the stuff I like has a psychedelic bend to it. I would prefer Jimi Hendrix...this other guy likes the Monkees. The MONKEES? The fuck is wrong with him. I want to say, "What the fuck is wrong with you, just take some acid, please, and tell me if you think the Monkees are still talented". How else can you tell someone that they have a taste for absolute shit?
It'd be great if that actually worked, but he'd probably just take acid and then become so insanely convinced that the monkeys are the greatest thing ever that he'd start telling you "hey man, you just need to do some acid if you think the monkeys aren't good, you're just not enlightened enough to understand."
Totally agree that people need to do more drugs though (and talk about them more). Psychedelics especially.
[rant]
Fucking monkeys god damn fake band full of shit what the fuck is wrong with people. [/rant]
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Anonymous #8
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #13]
#15898290 - 03/04/12 10:55 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Totally agree that people need to do more drugs though (and talk about them more). Psychedelics especially.
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Anonymous #14
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #8]
#15898320 - 03/04/12 11:10 AM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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Accept that you live a different life.
I worked with a bunch of people over 35 (I was 19) at a garden center. Most were very Catholic and traditional. I shared basically zero in common with them besides an interest in plants. They would talk about drinking at bars and the glass of wine they looked forward to having after work while I fantasized about the dish of hash oil that awaited me. They talked about planning a day to help out with church, I would plan my day off for a day of acid and music. They all thought I was incredibly innocent and sweet. After a while, it got really amusing to think of the person they saw at work and how I am in reality. Several times I remember hearing them talk about how bad drugs are and I'd just smirk. I'm a huge stoner, I love opiates (in careful moderation), I love benzos, alcohol, some stimulants, and psychedelics...yet I was one of their most productive and highly regarded workers.
Enjoy it.
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Anonymous #15
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Re: Do you hate not being able to share stuff about yourself? [Re: Anonymous #14]
#15898441 - 03/04/12 12:06 PM (1 year, 3 months ago) |
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"Everyone thinks I am straight edge and unadventurous when I feel just the opposite. I think part of it might be that I just work with complete douchebags."
oh whatever man. don't separate yourself from them. you probably are just actually innocent, like one of the other posters was talking about, and feel like drugs make you not that. but, if you don't steal and hurt people, then you actually are a productive member of society. drugs are no problem. lots of really sweet harmless awesome people do drugs.
it sounds like you really just feel isolated from your coworkers and i can totally relate to that. just focus on what fun your gonna have outside of work and it won't matter if you are forced to listen to the monkeys, who are probably the greatest psy-rock band of our time btw..
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