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Wow, that sounds very difficult. As strange as it may seem I've had some similar experiences.
One of the biggest things that has helped is to realize that the messed up things people had done to me and to themselves came from confusion and suffering and lack of self confidence. Once I forgave them, I was free from the loop. And that didnt mean I stuck around to put up with any more of their shit...
I've talked to many abused and the thing that separates the "victims" from the "free" is forgiveness as strange as that may seem. Once you see the terrible pain and suffering they feel its easy to pity them/ forgive them and move on. If forgiveness seems far out just put it on the shelf and say "ill visit that later when I'm on more solid ground, but for now I've got to work on myself" This is not what the world will tell you.. they will tell you that bringing them all to justice will somehow free you. this is a solid lie.
You've got a Wife and Two Kids! Love them! Serve them! And, nothing wrong with going to church.. It will show your wife that you at least will try to see what she feels. Talk to your wife! She is your confidant! Make sure she wont commit you but just be real. It will be an uphill battle to gain your self worth and self confidence but you can do it if you work at it step by step. You've got a lot to confront. Go Get er done man! Throw out all the baggage!
I suppose one approach would be to go buy a costume and go fuck a group of anonymous people. That works pretty good for all the dip shits in hollywood. But still even then you still get a suicide here and there, but most are just drug overdosed accidents.
But really, you dont want sympathy, and you dont want advice so what? You want to say you feel like committing suicide and have everyone just nod their heads and say nothing? I hope you figure it out bro. Good luck.
Don't kill yourself. If you feel lost or on the edge, there are many things to do.
Fraud, rob your cousin, rob your uncle, they deserved it. Live for yourself, and for your kids. Do what you want. You could pack your stuff and leave the country.
Killing yourself is a big leap. There are so many things to do before that. Things that someone who's afraid of the consequences or too comfortable with his life would not do, but your situation has somewhat freed you from such boundaries.
Obviously you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
For me, death is like contemplating a change of scenery. Maybe your lot will be better; I don't know. Perhaps pain and guilt evaporate. Perhaps dead people feel the wind in their hair and the sun on their faces.
Gaining access to assisted suicide is a campaign for compassion! Burl Smith for president.