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 cbub
thread killer
Registered: 10/17/10
Posts: 769
Last seen: 3 hours, 1 minute
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Quote:
Do you think I'm pretending?
My mind was clear and my memory was perfect. I could recall every moment of my life vividly. What I saw was - Everyone is set exactly in their place, everyone came at exactly the right moment and played their exact role to perfection.
Possible explanations:
-Everyone knows, except me, Truman show style (although I didn't watch the movie prior to this)
-Nobody knows and it's all scripted somehow and free will is just an illusion
-It's more complicated than I'm able to realize
-I'm bananas
I tried to test the 1st, but got extremely negative feedback and life goes on. So, no, I don't think you're pretending, but I'm still allowing the possibility.
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Kickle
A Growing Hope
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 21 hours, 26 minutes
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I've been thinking there's something whacky with emotions. When we try to hide from a feeling we're saying that there is something worth hiding from. That in my experience gives a strength to something which does not inherently have strength. Facing an emotion head on is saying something different all together. That there is nothing to fear here, bring your worst. And then it is usually far less harmful than if you run and hide. Makes you wonder where it gets its power from.
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White Beard
Venerable White Beard
Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 2,318
Loc: In the forest somewhere.
Last seen: 2 hours, 57 minutes
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 Re: I gave some dude a hug  [Re: cbub]
#15795464 - 02/11/12 10:18 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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A few nights ago I was having a strange dream where there were colourful pinwheels spinning in front of my face, and it seemed like they were hypnotizing me. I eventually decided to look past the pinwheel and I instantly woke up laughing hysterically. In that moment it felt like I was pretending everything up to that point and I laughed how I was fooling myself. I'm back to pretending now.
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White Beard
Venerable White Beard
Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 2,318
Loc: In the forest somewhere.
Last seen: 2 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: Kickle]
#15795471 - 02/11/12 10:19 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
I've been thinking there's something whacky with emotions. When we try to hide from bad feelings we're saying that there is something worth hiding from. That in my experience gives a strength to something which does not inherently have strength. Facing an emotion head on is saying something different all together. That there is nothing to fear here, bring your worst. And then it is usually far less harmful than if you run and hide 
Yep. I've been really focusing in my meditations just to investigate painful sensations. I unconsciously usually try and escape them, but when I investigate them, they aren't inherently bad, so I don't know why I was making a fuss in the first place. A sensation of pain is just a sensation of pain.
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Kickle
A Growing Hope
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 21 hours, 26 minutes
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I hear some whispers on the wind
What's that? Woooshhhhh?
I'm sorry I don't speak wind.
shhwooodeeaaatttshhhhhhhhhh
anxswhooosooooooohhhhhhh
???
DEATH ANXIETY DUDE
...
...
Alright wind you don't have to be an asshole about it 
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White Beard
Venerable White Beard
Registered: 08/13/11
Posts: 2,318
Loc: In the forest somewhere.
Last seen: 2 hours, 57 minutes
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: Kickle]
#15795491 - 02/11/12 10:24 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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Death anxiety- some seriously crazy crap. What I find strangest about it is that Death anxiety can make life not worth living, but then there is still the fear of dying. 
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 deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 52,515
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: Kickle]
#15795496 - 02/11/12 10:25 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
No idea why. I was at work and it was hectically busy. Called to 3 spots at once and no possible way to be there. So I went to the first and there was a gentleman who was looking at a Kindle Fire. Talked to him briefly about them and he cracked a joke about how anyone with a beard doesn't know how to work these. Then he looked up and saw I have a beard. Then he laughed and said maybe its anyone over 30 and with a beard. Relayed some info about a permanent marker on women's garments and needing something to get it out. Told him nope, sorry. Took my time BSing with him. Asked his name, extended my hand and then when he reached for it pulled him in for a hug. No reason I can think of and I dont know why I was moved to. Right at the front of the store with pressing demands around me. Left him with a smile and moved on to the next customer who was more than patient with me. The whole event went really smooth all things considered, no upset customers and I got to give some stranger a random hug 
Aww, that was a touching story. It always warms my heart when I read about young people finally mustering up the courage to come out of the closet and express their attraction to their own gender without having to hide it. 
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
  
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Kickle
A Growing Hope
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 21 hours, 26 minutes
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Nothing like being boxed in to make one seek alternative means of escape 
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Kickle
A Growing Hope
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 21 hours, 26 minutes
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: deCypher]
#15795506 - 02/11/12 10:27 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
deCypher said:
Aww, that was a touching story. It always warms my heart when I read about young people finally mustering up the courage to come out of the closet and express their attraction to their own gender without having to hide it.
Don't act like I was anything other than the best you ever had 
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deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 52,515
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: Kickle]
#15795513 - 02/11/12 10:28 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
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Kickle
A Growing Hope
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 21 hours, 26 minutes
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: deCypher]
#15795540 - 02/11/12 10:33 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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Are you going to start posting more around these parts?
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cbub
thread killer
Registered: 10/17/10
Posts: 769
Last seen: 3 hours, 1 minute
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: Kickle]
#15795564 - 02/11/12 10:37 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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A homeless man kissed me once... I smiled and thanked him, in a mindset of oneness.
There! It's out, I don't go around telling this _-
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Kickle
A Growing Hope
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 21 hours, 26 minutes
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: cbub]
#15795567 - 02/11/12 10:38 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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next time slip some tongue back 
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cbub
thread killer
Registered: 10/17/10
Posts: 769
Last seen: 3 hours, 1 minute
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: Kickle]
#15795580 - 02/11/12 10:40 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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man.. he goes around picking cigarette butts, then salvages some tobacco and rolls his own. He was just smoking it then went for a lip kiss. It was a test like no other.
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Kickle
A Growing Hope
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 21 hours, 26 minutes
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: cbub]
#15795586 - 02/11/12 10:42 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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I once gave a test to a homeless man. I bummed a cigarette off of him and he was willing to share it. 
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deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 52,515
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: Kickle]
#15795626 - 02/11/12 10:50 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
Kickle said:
Are you going to start posting more around these parts?
Eh, I've been lurking around a bit but I might go on a hiatus from Shroomery/the general Internet for a while to clear my mind and detach from lingering addictions.
On the topic of spirituality and mysticism, though, I had another WILD/OBE about a week and a half ago that seemed really meaningful at the time. I was having fitful sleep after taking opiates and drinking a 4 Loko earlier in the day, only to discover that I could roll right out of my body and onto the floor of my room after going through the vibrational stage... while I was still aware that I was dreaming. What's weird is that all of my OBEs these days have been extremely poorly illuminated... I was in the pitch black of my room and could barely see enough to get around. I walked to my door but before I could exit to my balcony in an effort to see the light I was unexpectedly ripped back to my position on the bed. This cycle repeated a few times until I decided that I was going to get out of my room if it took all I had. I rolled back and forth again until I had enough momentum to get out of body, and then ran like my life depended on it to my door. I flung it open, and was launched into a bright golden yellow light that permeated everything. I could feel its warmth soak through my skin and deep into my body, and as the light reached my core I surrendered everything, and dissolved into it. I remember nothing after this part until I woke up back in my bed again. Only an hour had passed, but I felt almost as if I had been rejuvenated by the Divine itself, if such a thing exists.
What does it all mean?! 
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
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cbub
thread killer
Registered: 10/17/10
Posts: 769
Last seen: 3 hours, 1 minute
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: deCypher]
#15795664 - 02/11/12 10:59 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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The forum is just another means to stay in the illusion.
Much like 'Henrieta's morning breakfast dieting discussions at Mc'Donalds'
It's quite hilarious.
Mad OBE by the way, I had a similar dream a while ago. I called it 'going home'.
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Jessica Swift
यन्त्र
Registered: 01/13/12
Posts: 1,723
Loc: 
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: cbub]
#15795786 - 02/11/12 11:34 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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I think guys should hug upon greeting each other, rather than shake hands. The latter is so business-like, cold, and competitive.
MDMA hugs are the best. I used to hang out with a mixed group of guys and girls who insisted on hugs constantly, mid-day, and for no reason. At first it kind of weirded me out, then I realized it's actually an awesome bonding experience. When two humans communicate, unless they're mapping out some practicality like a route to the grocery store, they are probably trying to connect emotionally - and physical contact is a way to enrich that.
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cbub
thread killer
Registered: 10/17/10
Posts: 769
Last seen: 3 hours, 1 minute
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we do that 
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oojijimoo
OouuruguruuoO
Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 11,774
Loc: ATL GA
Last seen: 43 minutes, 42 seconds
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Re: I gave some dude a hug [Re: cbub]
#15798107 - 02/12/12 01:54 PM (3 months, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
cbub said:
Quote:
Sometimes I think like that, like, maybe everyone else is a Buddha, and I'm the last dude dicking around in Samsara.
A lot of times. I was actually quite sure of it at some point, but they seem to keep pretending. Oh well..
Anybody who doesn't try to remain as the self very much is gonna have a real easy time coming off to you like it's they who know what's up. st00pid heads.
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http://soundcloud.com/ufhwhomp like music?
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