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 saxcidjazz
Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 1,671
Last seen: 31 minutes, 35 seconds
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 Psilocybin to shatter anxiety 
#15752816 - 02/02/12 05:21 PM (3 months, 24 days ago) |
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I've been tripping for 7 years now and I have plenty of experiences under my belt with the spectrum of substances. Most recent being over the summer with high quality LSD + MXE. However, most of the times I have tripped I've been in a pretty good place with myself. Over the last couple years I've slowly built up a lot of anxiety around myself, probably exacerbated by some improper use of benzodiazepines. Its gotten to the point that anything creative sends my heart racing, which is just unacceptable to me because music is my life between playing, writing and engineering.
I picked up several grams of mushrooms this week because I can't grow in my current living situation. The house will be fairly quiet tomorrow which I tend to prefer when I'm in a vulnerable state like tripping.. especially a hard, serious one. Now, what do you all think about my plan to defeat this anxiety by a heavy trip? I'm a bit worried it could go the other way and either send me into a hypomanic spiral and then crash again or just make my anxiety worse. It seems more likely to me that I'll drill into my head how silly it all is but it is a lingering thought. Perhaps I should wait a month, but I'm at university right now and I really need to lick this now.
Thoughts? 
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PrimalSoup
stronger than dirt
Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 3,142
Loc: PNW 
Last seen: 27 minutes, 37 seconds
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: saxcidjazz]
#15753655 - 02/02/12 08:06 PM (3 months, 24 days ago) |
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I would go for it, personally. I'm a musician and I know what you're talking about.
Get your setting correct and surround yourself with reminders of what you're trying to do. 
 PS
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...................................................The ConstruKction of Light: king crimson
   
Primal's simple tested teks and projects:  Grain Prep Tea Tek Potency Project!
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Vsnares.Zappa
bend over
Registered: 05/04/11
Posts: 1,651
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: PrimalSoup]
#15753670 - 02/02/12 08:09 PM (3 months, 24 days ago) |
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Take mushrooms for the sole purpose of taking mushrooms, and if you get anything, it's a bonus .going on a trip with high expectations is a recipe for disaster.trust me.
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 BoldAsLove
Pokemon Master
Registered: 03/10/11
Posts: 732
Loc: Kanto Region
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Quote:
Vsnares.Zappa said:
Take mushrooms for the sole purpose of taking mushrooms, and if you get anything, it's a bonus .going on a trip with high expectations is a recipe for disaster.trust me.
Agreed. If you are looking for something in a trip, you probably won't get it. I always like going in with a blank slate of expectations and see what happens. And either way, I don't really believe a trip can fix anything in and of itself. It can get the process started, but you're gonna have to put in sober work to get actual results. Just my opinion.
Anyways, I say go for the trip and have a great time, and maybe try other ways to deal with your anxiety.
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DISCLAIMER: None of the ideas expressed above are actually mine. They are told to me by Luthor  and Ferdinand  , the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there.
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PrimalSoup
stronger than dirt
Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 3,142
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 27 minutes, 37 seconds
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: BoldAsLove]
#15753993 - 02/02/12 09:34 PM (3 months, 24 days ago) |
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Did y'all not read where the OP says "I have plenty of experiences under my belt with the spectrum of substances."
PS
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...................................................The ConstruKction of Light: king crimson
Primal's simple tested teks and projects: Grain Prep Tea Tek Potency Project!
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saxcidjazz
Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 1,671
Last seen: 31 minutes, 35 seconds
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: PrimalSoup]
#15754796 - 02/03/12 05:03 AM (3 months, 24 days ago) |
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I have been doing sober work, and I know its going to take a lot more. Its more about getting over myself and getting the ball rolling. I haven't taken any other drugs this week to try to achieve a better clarity of mind and I've been writing down ideas to improve what I'm doing. Just having a few days with a more steady head has been helping somewhat. Thanks for the inputs. I think what I'm going to do is just wait and see how I feel the rest of the day.. try writing a tune and if I can get through that then allow myself to indulge a little. In the past I've felt personally that the pre-trip jitters are usually just my ego trying to hold on and once they're down I get pretty calm.
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BoldAsLove
Pokemon Master
Registered: 03/10/11
Posts: 732
Loc: Kanto Region
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: saxcidjazz]
#15755059 - 02/03/12 07:47 AM (3 months, 24 days ago) |
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I think for getting the ball rolling, there is nothing better then a trip. I just get annoyed with all the posts saying, "I have belemia and OCD, think if I trip it will go away?"Anyways, you are obviously way more prepared and have a reasonable outlook, and if you go into it with the intention of getting something started, I bet it will help.
I wish you the best of luck, please let us know how it goes!
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DISCLAIMER: None of the ideas expressed above are actually mine. They are told to me by Luthor and Ferdinand , the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there.
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saxcidjazz
Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 1,671
Last seen: 31 minutes, 35 seconds
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: BoldAsLove]
#15757278 - 02/03/12 05:43 PM (3 months, 23 days ago) |
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I decided to back off the heavy dose and go with 2g. I think I just ate some verm.. mmm. Gonna play some colorful video games and listen to heady electronic music. Got a bunch of fruit and juice too, nothing better on mushrooms.
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Mattm
Hellbent
Registered: 11/18/09
Posts: 814
Loc: Gone
Last seen: 6 days, 15 hours
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: saxcidjazz]
#15757897 - 02/03/12 07:56 PM (3 months, 23 days ago) |
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Quote:
saxcidjazz said:
I decided to back off the heavy dose and go with 2g. I think I just ate some verm.. mmm. Gonna play some colorful video games and listen to heady electronic music. Got a bunch of fruit and juice too, nothing better on mushrooms.
Enjoy bro, you'll find what you're looking for!
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Good bye to everyone, my time here was well spent, and I think I have gained a lot from coming here. The internet has become to much of a priority for me, and I think I am ready to let it go for a while. < Who am I kidding...I'm hooked for life.
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saxcidjazz
Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 1,671
Last seen: 31 minutes, 35 seconds
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: Mattm]
#15758379 - 02/03/12 10:18 PM (3 months, 23 days ago) |
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Yep, I'm all good here  . Definitely glad I backed off on the dose though it may have been a bit rough. Enjoy your weekend all 
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saxcidjazz
Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 1,671
Last seen: 31 minutes, 35 seconds
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: saxcidjazz]
#15799891 - 02/12/12 07:28 PM (3 months, 14 days ago) |
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If anyone is interested, a week later I'm still doing much better than I was. I still have a ways to go to dig my way out of the hole I've gotten myself in but I am in much better spirits and I'm working more towards long term success now. Thanks for those who gave input. I still have enough left for a soul shattering dose in a few weeks when I have time off, maybe try combining some with B. caapi root. 
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weshroom
Stranger
Registered: 11/19/06
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: saxcidjazz]
#15800259 - 02/12/12 08:42 PM (3 months, 14 days ago) |
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Cool man, good to here. The mushrooms can bring a great reminder to the here and now
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nealios
Stranger
Registered: 10/28/11
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: weshroom]
#15800558 - 02/12/12 09:29 PM (3 months, 14 days ago) |
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I'll send some good vibes your way man. Always nice to hear some good experiences.
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Caspian021
Stranger
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: nealios]
#15800945 - 02/12/12 10:36 PM (3 months, 14 days ago) |
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Could you explain what you mean by the anxiety you get from anything creative? I'm a musician as well and I think I may have experienced what you're talking about.
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saxcidjazz
Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 1,671
Last seen: 31 minutes, 35 seconds
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: Caspian021]
#15801873 - 02/13/12 06:08 AM (3 months, 14 days ago) |
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I'll try. Basically all the muscles in my body tense up, my heart goes nuts, my brain locks up and I find it nearly impossible to do what I want to do. It gets hard to breathe properly when I start getting into a panic mode so being primarily a wind instrumentalist its also very inhibiting when you aren't playing your instrument correctly. I tend to think about all the possible outcomes of my actions and when my anxiety levels heighten I succomb to my fears and can't let myself go. To me, pure creativity involves losing your sense of self temporarily to become part of the greater whole. I hope some of that makes sense, I'm bad at putting things like this into words.
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PrimalSoup
stronger than dirt
Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 3,142
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 27 minutes, 37 seconds
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: saxcidjazz]
#15802461 - 02/13/12 10:15 AM (3 months, 14 days ago) |
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Quote:
If anyone is interested, a week later I'm still doing much better than I was.
PS
--------------------
...................................................The ConstruKction of Light: king crimson
Primal's simple tested teks and projects: Grain Prep Tea Tek Potency Project!
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weshroom
Stranger
Registered: 11/19/06
Posts: 1,889
Last seen: 3 hours, 31 minutes
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Re: Psilocybin to shatter anxiety [Re: PrimalSoup]
#15802874 - 02/13/12 12:07 PM (3 months, 14 days ago) |
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To me it has been helping to think of creativity and experience in the now in relation to the phrase "off the top of my head"... that kind of perspective shift, almost like witnessing. Also it has been helping me to breathe and pull up with my heart, and bright light from the top behind my head (crown), down into this. Sensations and tension in the body, thoughts, all are just pure workable energy you can use in the clear space of the now. Peace my friend.
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