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 Algolagniac
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Registered: 10/18/09
Posts: 251
Loc: NJ/NY
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 Ayahuasca Trip Report 
#15681053 - 01/17/12 09:36 PM (4 months, 9 days ago) |
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Ingested
50 - 75g Banisteriopsis caapi
12 - 15g Mimosa hostilis
Preparation
I had one dose of leftover ayahuasca from three nights ago. As my experience then was positive and promising, I decided to take a bit higher dose this time to experience the full effects. I also asked my friend R if he wanted to try some with me. He had never taken any hallucinogens before, but I figured he would be interested. After he agreed, I made another dose, boiling for two hours with two lemons, then letting it sit for two days. Before drinking, I strained and reboiled the plant matter for another hour, strained and combined all the liquid into one pot. It was boiled down to about four cups, which R and I drank at around 10:00 pm.
Setting
My college apartment. My two roommates, J and A, were also doing their own (sober) thing.
Set
This was effectively my second time consuming ayahuasca. I focused on a conflicting issue where my enjoyment of my work stems from how much other people respect me for it. I wanted to see if I could discover a more independent reason to work. Upon drinking I felt calm and ready.
The Trip
After ingestion, my friend and I scurried to my room. I turned out the lights and lay on my bed. R was on an air mattress on the floor. For the next twenty or thirty minutes, we enjoyed a comfortable silence, waiting for things to start. I listened to my body while repeating my intention in my mind. Eventually, the body buzz hit R and me at about the same time. I closed my eyes and noticed the green, red and blue triangular spirals, i.e. fractals, build.
Now, whereas at this point during my last trip I saw and felt spirits, none appeared this time. Instead, my conscious felt like it was being toyed with, slowly unwound. This made me quite anxious. Soon, my thoughts started to lose control, as if they were being implanted by someone else. Startled, I thought that a change of setting was what I needed. I climbed out of bed and stumbled into the living room. I spotted the couch and collapsed on it. Unfortunately, the lights were turned on, and the input was overwhelming. I called out to A, asking for her to turn them out. Once dark, the fear lost its potency.
A asked me if I needed anything and if she could play music. "Happy music, please", I managed to answer. Since my taste in music is eclectic, A and J couldn't figure out what I wanted when I said happy. "Happy Birthday" J guessed. “No”. I was unresponsive after that, so no music got played. They let me be.
At this point, I remember feeling different textures with my whole body. I also thought about A and felt calmer. This calm was short lived though. A thought loop emerged, where I couldn't rationally figure out where I was. The bed? The couch? The bathroom? Even after opening my eyes and seeing I was on the couch, this thought loop resumed when I reshut them. Fear crept up again, so I stumbled back onto my bed.
The introverted trip escalated. I cannot describe the thoughts I was thinking. They were impossible, and mostly worried or paranoid. I rolled in my bed. The thoughts picked up pace. Each presented a new reality that referenced the previous reality but not the one before. A chaotic, mechanical buzzing noise was driving everything. I remember calling out to R that I needed help. I couldn't express how he could help though. I knew I was trapped alone in my nightmare, unable to get a foothold on a reality, let alone the real one.
I stopped calling out for help at this point, as I was beyond communication. Instead, I performed a series of movements with my body and tongue, and emitted sounds. I believe R was at the peak of his trip and was displaying the same strange behavior. It was as if we were communicating in an alien language. Although I was scared, it was a beautiful moment.
The thoughts were moving at what I perceived to be three a second. My penis was intermittently experiencing short burst of raw pleasure. It was however entirely unpleasant. I clenched my fists, my penis clenched back. Trapped in an unrelenting succession of nervous realities, I became desperate. I opened my eyes, trying to take refuge in the real world, but was only met with blinding fractals.
I threw off my covers and ran to my laptop to play music. My fingers smashed the keyboard, trying to enter in the password to log on. I eventually gave up, and begged R to do it for me. I spelled out the password to him. He was concerned, but also unable to complete the task. It didn't matter, as I forgot about the computer almost immediately. My body turned, I called out to R. "I need help! Release me!" I was quite loud at this point. A and J ran into the room, frantically trying to figure out what to do.
I heard their voices at first, but soon couldn't compute their identity or that I was in an apartment with neighbors. I didn't remember anything of my previous self. The last thing I remember was repeatedly screaming as loud as possible.
I woke up in a hospital. I thought I was in a dream. The medic asked if I remembered what happened, what my name was, what season was it. I was able to murmur my name, and that was it. I passed in and out of consciousness, every time being woken up by someone asking what happened. I realized I was in a stretcher with my feet and legs restrained by leather straps.
Eventually I was awaken by A and J. We recounted what had happened. Apparently, I was screaming and kicking on the ground for around an hour. I broke my wicker hamper and a shelf. The neighbors called security, which I fully resisted. Medics came, sedated me, and transported me to the hospital. When I looked at the clock, it said 8am. Eight hours had passed that I could not remember.
The day and a half I spent in the hospital I mostly focused on what had happened. I was guilty of what I put my roommates through. R put so much trust in me when he decided to share ayahuasca, and that trust was betrayed in my mind. I was most fearful that he went through the same hell as me. Thank god he didn't - he actually enjoyed it up until I started to panic. I even felt that I had failed ayahuasca, since so many of the workers at the hospital never heard of the drug before, and their first impression was my maniacal self.
There are things I regret, but taking ayahuasca wasn't one of them. I went in with good intentions, and what I believed the right mindset. One thing I realized was that it is essential to do this drug under the guidance of a professional shaman.
I am grateful for all my friends, who understood and forgave me so easily.
Afterthoughts
I didn't purge this trip nor the one before. Perhaps that is partly why the trip turned sour. Does anyone else find that they can't purge?
I apparently was calm for a while until security came. Had they not come, would I have been able to ride it out with my roommates?
The hospital kept me for so long because there was muscle breakdown that could apparently threaten my kidney. This was caused by my thrashing when restrained in the stretcher. So, basically the only reason I was in the hospital was because I was sent to the hospital. I can't help but think our society deals with bad trips in an incorrect manner.
The only similarity with the previous ayahuasca trip was the body buzz and fractals. How can two experiences with the same drug be so different?
Humor: the security guards were searching my apartment. Upon seeing my bookshelf, they found three mushroom books I use for identification. They considered this a sign that I eat magic mushrooms, stacked the books and took a picture for evidence. I've never tripped on mushrooms.
Two days later after being let out of the hospital I was finally able to sleep. For three hours I woke up every 5 or so minutes because I had vivid dreams of the screaming and needing help. After waking up, I half-expected it to be that night still.
Edited by Algolagniac (01/17/12 09:40 PM)
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Algolagniac
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/09
Posts: 251
Loc: NJ/NY
Last seen: 1 minute, 1 second
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Some questions:
When going through bad trips, what have you done to turn them around?
10ish minutes after the effects started, I just wanted the trip to be over. I told myself that I would be perfectly safe, everything would end in a couple of hours. This didn't seem to help though, and I have a feeling nothing would, as if I was meant to go through the terror.
I've read that Mimosa hostilis tends to be more ...hostile... than Psychotria viridis. Do you agree/disagree with this?
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 roblaske
Stranger
Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 44
Last seen: 1 month, 9 days
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i know nothing of the drug you took but it sounds pretty fucking intense!!!!!! im sorry for what happened but sometimes thats the way it goes... i suggest just eating shrooms bro and lsd.
ive only tripped twice. both times on shrooms.
the first time was cool!! i did a half E (1.7gs) i had a blast
not so much the second time. i felt exactly like you did. i couldnt describe anything!!! i was trying and everytime i would just forget right away! everything was so fast! full of worry and panic! i couldnt wait for it to be over. i just kept telling myself it would end soon but it did nothing lol FUCKIN PSYCODELICS!!!!!!!!!!!
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Algolagniac
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/09
Posts: 251
Loc: NJ/NY
Last seen: 1 minute, 1 second
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: roblaske]
#15685937 - 01/18/12 09:30 PM (4 months, 8 days ago) |
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I'm having trouble returning to normal life. I felt a little scared all day, especially when in my room. My body is more sensitive to touch.
Edited by Algolagniac (01/18/12 09:44 PM)
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JimLahey
Trailer Park Supervisor
Registered: 04/17/11
Posts: 1,542
Loc: Sunnyvale Trailer Park, C...
Last seen: 3 hours, 5 minutes
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Quote:
roblaske said:
i know nothing of the drug you took but it sounds pretty fucking intense!!!!!! im sorry for what happened but sometimes thats the way it goes... i suggest just eating shrooms bro and lsd.
ive only tripped twice. both times on shrooms.
the first time was cool!! i did a half E (1.7gs) i had a blast
Dont listen to this guy. 1.7g of mushrooms is way different than ayahuasca. Aya is not really a game, it tears your reality apart and is completely out of your control.
Quote:
Algolagniac said:
I'm having trouble returning to normal life. I felt a little scared all day, especially when in my room. My body is more sensitive to touch.
That will all subside eventually, waking up in the hospital can be kind of traumatic especially in that state of mind. Also, you dosed pretty high on the Mimosa. I would say to plan your next trip out better with an appropriate dose for the setting.
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"Why don't you get a life, Rick? Why don't you go to community college like Julian here? Hey! I got a good idea! You could teach Living In A Car and Growing Dope 101"
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roblaske
Stranger
Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 44
Last seen: 1 month, 9 days
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: JimLahey]
#15687821 - 01/19/12 10:26 AM (4 months, 8 days ago) |
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Quote:
JimLahey said:
Quote:
roblaske said:
i know nothing of the drug you took but it sounds pretty fucking intense!!!!!! im sorry for what happened but sometimes thats the way it goes... i suggest just eating shrooms bro and lsd.
ive only tripped twice. both times on shrooms.
the first time was cool!! i did a half E (1.7gs) i had a blast
Dont listen to this guy. 1.7g of mushrooms is way different than ayahuasca. Aya is not really a game, it tears your reality apart and is completely out of your control.
Quote:
Algolagniac said:
I'm having trouble returning to normal life. I felt a little scared all day, especially when in my room. My body is more sensitive to touch.
That will all subside eventually, waking up in the hospital can be kind of traumatic especially in that state of mind. Also, you dosed pretty high on the Mimosa. I would say to plan your next trip out better with an appropriate dose for the setting.
I didn't even say anything worth listening to bro? I was just saying. Shrooms is the way to go
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JimLahey
Trailer Park Supervisor
Registered: 04/17/11
Posts: 1,542
Loc: Sunnyvale Trailer Park, C...
Last seen: 3 hours, 5 minutes
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: roblaske]
#15690761 - 01/19/12 10:49 PM (4 months, 7 days ago) |
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You have not tried anything else, so how would you know if shrooms are the way to go though?
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"Why don't you get a life, Rick? Why don't you go to community college like Julian here? Hey! I got a good idea! You could teach Living In A Car and Growing Dope 101"
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Algolagniac
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/09
Posts: 251
Loc: NJ/NY
Last seen: 1 minute, 1 second
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: JimLahey]
#15691069 - 01/20/12 12:16 AM (4 months, 7 days ago) |
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The past two nights I've still been waking up in the ayahuasca mindset. Actually I just woke up now. You're right, it seems to be getting better. I can relive things at a distance, looking at it with curiosity rather than fear. Right now I remember trying to define what I wanted, going through a range of emotions before finally deciding I needed help.
Quote:
Shrooms is the way to go
I'm deciding if I have good reasons to do any psychedelics right now.
Edited by Algolagniac (01/20/12 12:24 AM)
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lVlota
Pot head
Registered: 10/07/11
Posts: 302
Loc: netherlands 
Last seen: 3 days, 1 hour
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i had a experience like that with dmt i said i was never going to do it again but then two weeks later im  on  you will get over it and i bet the experience made you stronger if nothing else
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 IVI O T A V A T I O IV 
Inhaling I feel the smoke rise up in me
Visions, when I close my eyes, I still see
Surroundings change, with a sudden burst of clarity
My creation, I become the god of this reality
So profound, so intellectually stimulating
In time, I feel I'm one with everything
New perspective, I look at the world with apathy
My body, has been recycled through this galaxy
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roblaske
Stranger
Registered: 01/16/12
Posts: 44
Last seen: 1 month, 9 days
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: lVlota]
#15694443 - 01/20/12 05:47 PM (4 months, 6 days ago) |
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Its easier on the body. I mean I'm sure ayahuasca is intense and all. I'm all for trying it one day but I'm just sayin Shrooms are the way too gooooooo
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OldHippie
Stranger
Registered: 10/22/11
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Last seen: 4 days, 7 hours
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Wow...nice report, although it sounds as if there were some seriously rough spots that will need to smooth themselves over with time. Are there any legal or academic entanglements as a consequence of these events??? If not, I'm surprised.
You must have been spilling large amounts of creatinine phosphokinase into your blood to raise concerns over acute renal failure. That was NOT from the Aya, but the thrashing around and resistance against the restraints. Still, it was probably unnecessary to keep you longer in-hospital, just to monitor your serum CPK and renal function. If you were recovered enough to be calm, I'd have sent you home. Its more the fear of allegations of medical malpractice than good medicine at work there. Don't ask me how I know!
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Algolagniac
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/09
Posts: 251
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Last seen: 1 minute, 1 second
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: OldHippie]
#15695570 - 01/20/12 10:08 PM (4 months, 6 days ago) |
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Quote:
You must have been spilling large amounts of creatinine phosphokinase into your blood to raise concerns over acute renal failure.
Yep, you nailed it.
Quote:
Don't ask me how I know!
I suspect you were one of my doctors by how accurately you described why I was in the hospital.
Quote:
Are there any legal or academic entanglements as a consequence of these events???
Nope. My apartment isn't affiliated with my college, so I suppose security didn't tell my school about it. I was a bit surprised how I didn't get approached by cops, since I admitted to drinking ayahuasca and security found some in my closet.
Quote:
Still, it was probably unnecessary to keep you longer in-hospital
I'm sort of thankful for it. It gave me a couple of days to analyze what had happened. I wrote the trip report while sitting in my hospital bed.
It's amazing the rate I'm still learning from the ordeal. Today I realized that my whole identity (I can't think of a better word) was being controlled by the ayahuasca: my senses, thoughts, and actions.
Another positive thing I got out of it was that I'll never do it again for the primary purpose of exploration. After thinking about it, this was the real reason for me drinking it - to satisfy my curiosity. The "wanting to find a better purpose for my work" reason was secondary.
Anyway I'm rambling. It feels good discussing this.
Oh, by the way, does anyone know why I would experience muscle numbing when waking up, especially in the lower half of my body? It feels a lot like the body buzz from ayahuasca. This is almost not happening anymore, but I'm still curious.
Edited by Algolagniac (01/20/12 10:43 PM)
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ShroomDoom
Friend of the Medicine
Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 3,322
Loc: A Psychedelic State 
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keep in mind, traditionally ayahuasca is not combined with mimosa hostilis in most places. A lot of people I know that have combined harmaloids with mimosa hostilis for an aya-like experience have reported really nasty side effects: strange bouts of vocalizations, fits of uncontrollable movements, feelings of unmitigated terror, a lingering paranoia and anxiety after the experience. May want to steer clear of this combo, Im convinced there are other alkaloids in the mimosa hostilis that make it waaay different from a caapi/viridis/chapilonga brew.
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Algolagniac
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: ShroomDoom]
#15725861 - 01/27/12 03:44 PM (3 months, 30 days ago) |
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Thanks, if I every do ayahuasca again I'm not going to use MH : ]
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Algolagniac
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Sorry to bring this thread back up again, but here's an update:
Just woke up from a flashback-like dream. I felt like I was on Ayahuasca again (in the dream). Of course this is hard to describe but I remember things happening recursively, such as opening my eyes to opening my eyes to opening my eyes to ... I heard music that induced a trippy state. I went into my roommate's room asking her for help again. We went back into my room and she calmed me down, massaging me. This starting agitating me, and she was transforming into my mom. Then my mom started getting agitated as well, was about to leave, then found something in my bed. In mid-sentence, I said "Mom..." then very suddenly woke up.
The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I saw small fractals. I felt normal other than that, but after a few minutes my thoughts started scaring me. I starting thinking about death, or maybe that I was still in the middle of my ayahuasca trip. I began shaking. After a few more minutes the shaking became violent, and I got up to get a drink, go to the bathroom, do anything to calm down. It was difficult to focus on anything other than the present. A went back to bed, and started feeling better. I'm still shaking a bit, but am going back to sleep (I think I only slept for an hour). Good night.
Edited by Algolagniac (04/12/12 03:36 PM)
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lVlota
Pot head
Registered: 10/07/11
Posts: 302
Loc: netherlands
Last seen: 3 days, 1 hour
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--------------------
IVI O T A V A T I O IV
Inhaling I feel the smoke rise up in me
Visions, when I close my eyes, I still see
Surroundings change, with a sudden burst of clarity
My creation, I become the god of this reality
So profound, so intellectually stimulating
In time, I feel I'm one with everything
New perspective, I look at the world with apathy
My body, has been recycled through this galaxy
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Kief Ledger
Stranger
Registered: 11/10/11
Posts: 132
Last seen: 28 minutes, 49 seconds
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: ShroomDoom]
#16065741 - 04/09/12 02:01 PM (1 month, 20 days ago) |
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Quote:
ShroomDoom said:
keep in mind, traditionally ayahuasca is not combined with mimosa hostilis in most places. A lot of people I know that have combined harmaloids with mimosa hostilis for an aya-like experience have reported really nasty side effects: strange bouts of vocalizations, fits of uncontrollable movements, feelings of unmitigated terror, a lingering paranoia and anxiety after the experience. May want to steer clear of this combo, Im convinced there are other alkaloids in the mimosa hostilis that make it waaay different from a caapi/viridis/chapilonga brew.
If one were to do an extract on MH would the side effects still persist?
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ShroomDoom
Friend of the Medicine
Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 3,322
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Quote:
Kief Ledger said:
Quote:
ShroomDoom said:
keep in mind, traditionally ayahuasca is not combined with mimosa hostilis in most places. A lot of people I know that have combined harmaloids with mimosa hostilis for an aya-like experience have reported really nasty side effects: strange bouts of vocalizations, fits of uncontrollable movements, feelings of unmitigated terror, a lingering paranoia and anxiety after the experience. May want to steer clear of this combo, Im convinced there are other alkaloids in the mimosa hostilis that make it waaay different from a caapi/viridis/chapilonga brew.
If one were to do an extract on MH would the side effects still persist?
If it's a crude or unwashed extract then I assume the companion alkaloids are there and the side effects from them would be present as well. The washed, re-xtalized clean extracts should be without most of the noise.
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thedream
The Most High
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Posts: 373
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: ShroomDoom]
#16075724 - 04/11/12 01:13 PM (1 month, 18 days ago) |
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Way to go bud! I feel like I've read countless threads of people tripping on college campus and having a freak out. The cops and ambulance comes and they wake up in a hospital. Congrats your the reason why some drugs get a bad name and then ruin it for the rest of us who do things properly.
Hope you learned your lesson, lay off the drugs if you don't know how to use them in a responsble context. Sorry to be a dick but you brought it upon yourself.....
Anyhow you'll return to normalcy sooner or later, give it time, eat a clean diet and excersize and you'll be alright.
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Algolagniac
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/09
Posts: 251
Loc: NJ/NY
Last seen: 1 minute, 1 second
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Re: Ayahuasca Trip Report [Re: thedream]
#16081202 - 04/12/12 03:43 PM (1 month, 16 days ago) |
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You're absolutely right. When I was in the hospital, I was thinking about how many people had their first encounter with ayahuasca through me and my bad trip. I felt guilty for a while (eventually I wore out this feeling). I made this thread with the intention of stressing that this really isn't something to be done in order to have fun, a lesson I doubt I would have learned without the experience I had.
What do you mean by doing things properly?
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