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OfflineThe Influence
I make it do what it do
Male


Registered: 03/30/11
Posts: 4,392
Loc: Not Wisconsin
Last seen: 6 hours, 50 minutes
Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin.......
    #15401075 - 11/21/11 04:46 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

You might be from Wisconsin, according to Jeff Foxworthy:
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Wisconsin.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't even work there, you may live in Wisconsin.

Ifyou've worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Wisconsin.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with some........ one who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Wisconsin.

If "vacation" means going anywhere North of Milwaukee for the weekend, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C ' in the same day and back again, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
doors unlocked, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Wisconsin.

If the speed limit on the highway is 70 mph, you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Wisconsin.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Wisconsin.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Wisconsin.


--------------------
Bad: Waking up to find a penis has been drawn on your face. Worse: Finding out it was traced :shocked:


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Invisiblevenetianblinds
venetianblondes

Registered: 05/25/11
Posts: 2,207
Loc: Flag
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: The Influence]
    #15401356 - 11/21/11 07:20 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

ahahaha the road construction season....o yesss


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OfflineHappy2fly
The Champ!
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/18/09
Posts: 1,287
Loc: The land of many thousand... Flag
Last seen: 7 months, 22 days
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: venetianblinds] * 1
    #15401967 - 11/21/11 10:59 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

I've seen those jokes a thousand times except referring to MN instead of WI.  I guess Jeff Foxworthy likes to reuse his jokes: :wink:

Quote:

Jeff Foxworthy in Minnesota

    If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International

    Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",

    You m ight live in Minnesota.

    If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you know how to say... Wayzata... Mahtomedi... Cloquet... Edina... and Shakopee

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you measure distance in hours,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you know several people, who have hit deer more than once,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow

    during a raging blizzard without flinching,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish and venison,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and of course, road construction,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you can identify a southern or eastern accent,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If "Down South" to you means Iowa,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you know "a brat" is something you eat,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you find -10 degrees "a little chilly",

    You might live in Minnesota.

    You DO live in Minnesota!

    Hows everyone doing tonight????






--------------------
The fire has many things to teach.
But so does the human experience.. which is like fire, sometimes you just need to stoke the coals and sometimes you just need to add a log or reposition the log matrix. But a well built fire will be much more self-sustaining than a poorly built one, and they all need love to grow. And don't fuck around or your might burn yourself. Must always respect the fire. - Shroomism


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InvisibleEarth Child

Registered: 12/16/10
Posts: 3,473
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: Happy2fly]
    #15402020 - 11/21/11 11:15 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

Daniel Tosh on Nebraska


--------------------
Life is too short for this sorrow. You may be here today and gone tomorrow.


My Poetry · Stay Informed · Recipes · Nature Wants Us to Trip · Meyendhi


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Invisiblebait_
Not a Stranger
Male

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 2,259
Loc: Here & Now Flag
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: Happy2fly]
    #15402038 - 11/21/11 11:22 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Happy2fly said:
I've seen those jokes a thousand times except referring to MN instead of WI.  I guess Jeff Foxworthy likes to reuse his jokes: :wink:

Quote:

Jeff Foxworthy in Minnesota

    If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International

    Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",

    You m ight live in Minnesota.

    If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you know how to say... Wayzata... Mahtomedi... Cloquet... Edina... and Shakopee

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you measure distance in hours,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you know several people, who have hit deer more than once,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow

    during a raging blizzard without flinching,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish and venison,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and of course, road construction,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you can identify a southern or eastern accent,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If "Down South" to you means Iowa,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you know "a brat" is something you eat,

    You might live in Minnesota.

    If you find -10 degrees "a little chilly",

    You might live in Minnesota.

    You DO live in Minnesota!

    Hows everyone doing tonight????









it also works for michigan...
did you steal this from facebook cause i saw something similar to this about michigan less than a week ago.


--------------------
-------------------------------------------------
:peace:, :heart:, and all that other :hippie: :poop:
-------------------------------------------------


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OfflineHappy2fly
The Champ!
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/18/09
Posts: 1,287
Loc: The land of many thousand... Flag
Last seen: 7 months, 22 days
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: bait_]
    #15402117 - 11/21/11 11:45 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

bait_ said:
did you steal this from facebook cause i saw something similar to this about michigan less than a week ago.




No, but I wouldn't be surprised to see it on facebook.  I've probably received the same chain email from just about every member of my family and half my friends!


--------------------
The fire has many things to teach.
But so does the human experience.. which is like fire, sometimes you just need to stoke the coals and sometimes you just need to add a log or reposition the log matrix. But a well built fire will be much more self-sustaining than a poorly built one, and they all need love to grow. And don't fuck around or your might burn yourself. Must always respect the fire. - Shroomism


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Invisiblebait_
Not a Stranger
Male

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 2,259
Loc: Here & Now Flag
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: Happy2fly]
    #15402133 - 11/21/11 11:50 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

chain mail :wtfsonic:


--------------------
-------------------------------------------------
:peace:, :heart:, and all that other :hippie: :poop:
-------------------------------------------------


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Invisiblebryguy27007
Cosmonaut
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 10,351
Loc: Flag
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: bait_]
    #15402210 - 11/21/11 12:15 PM (2 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah, I've heard all of these for different Midwestern states.

There was also a Minnesotans guide to temperature that was actually pretty funny that I saw once.


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Invisibleunam sanctum
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 4,548
Loc: Montani Semper Liberi Flag
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: bryguy27007] * 1
    #15402224 - 11/21/11 12:18 PM (2 years, 8 months ago)

I got his book a while back as an unsolicited gift.  Used it to start a fire.


--------------------
the flies and spiders get along together


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Invisiblebryguy27007
Cosmonaut
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 10,351
Loc: Flag
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: unam sanctum]
    #15402319 - 11/21/11 12:43 PM (2 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

unam sanctum said:
I got his book a while back as an unsolicited gift.  Used it to start a fire.




:lol:


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OfflineThe Influence
I make it do what it do
Male


Registered: 03/30/11
Posts: 4,392
Loc: Not Wisconsin
Last seen: 6 hours, 50 minutes
Re: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin....... [Re: Happy2fly]
    #15404192 - 11/21/11 07:30 PM (2 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Happy2fly said:
Quote:

bait_ said:
did you steal this from facebook cause i saw something similar to this about michigan less than a week ago.




No, but I wouldn't be surprised to see it on facebook.  I've probably received the same chain email from just about every member of my family and half my friends!



Yes I did get it off FB.


--------------------
Bad: Waking up to find a penis has been drawn on your face. Worse: Finding out it was traced :shocked:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
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