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 Az0th
quantum transfiguration
 
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 53,746
Loc: The Void 
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I don't like to mix sex and violence.
maybe it has something to do with being tied up and sexually abused by my baby sitter when I was 5.
But yeah, ropes and handcuffs and shit make me totally limp. Even with someone I trust totally. Wet noodle extravaganza.
Regular sex.... dull???
I don't know what kind of sex you are having but mine is totally fucking awesome, no whips or restraints needed.
If my girl wants to try something though I'll try anything pretty much
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~Thought Creates Reality~
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LunarEclipse
Mr. Dogma Free
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 11,026
Loc: The Hand
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 Re: BDSM  [Re: Az0th]
#14920210 - 08/14/11 12:59 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomism said:
I don't like to mix sex and violence.
maybe it has something to do with being tied up and sexually abused by my baby sitter when I was 5.
But yeah, ropes and handcuffs and shit make me totally limp. Even with someone I trust totally. Wet noodle extravaganza.
Regular sex.... dull???
I don't know what kind of sex you are having but mine is totally fucking awesome, no whips or restraints needed.
If my girl wants to try something though I'll try anything pretty much
I'm with you on this one. It just does not compute. I absofuckinglutely would never want to be restrained. No no no. Maybe I need someone to do it right but the idea of giving up control in sex just freaks me out.
None of the posts here even address what the turn on is. Maybe they aren't sure. I think I could be a sadist and that makes me afraid of going that way. So why do I want to "pretend" to go that way when in fact the choking etc. is LONG there IMO.
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Don't submit to dogma.
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Altered States
Synesthesia seeker
Registered: 04/18/10
Posts: 336
Loc: USA
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  SUPPORT M.A.P.S. "MULTIDISCIPLINARY ASSOCATION FOR PSYCHEDELIC STUDIES"
DRUMMING ON THE EDGE OF MADNESS!!
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,720
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Quote:
LunarEclipse said:
None of the posts here even address what the turn on is. Maybe they aren't sure.
I think many are indeed not sure (yet), but I can assure you speaking of 'the' turn on is completely missing the point. There is not one turn on. There's many, and each person has his/her own combination of buttons he/she responds well too. For some people, some of those buttons are associated with the complex of behaviors that we label 'bdsm', but in reality, there's just a shitload of weird stuff that people like to do with/to each other, and some are part of that abstract blob called bdsm, while the rest is categorized differently. But things that tend to pop up often in discussions on what people like in bdsm are domination, submission, pain (inflicting or receiving), the loss or exercise of mental or physical control, the visual aspect of things, etc. The list of things that people like is very long, and the list of things that people do with/to each other is even longer, and the combination of both forms a nearly limitless gamut of sexual identities that often isn't even static within one individual. So attempts to get a clear picture of what 'the bdsm aficionado likes' are pointless to begin with - it's different for everyone.
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LunarEclipse
Mr. Dogma Free
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 11,026
Loc: The Hand
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Well OK that's pretty abstract but thanks for explaining. The visual part I would definitely relate to. Perhaps the "problem" is that this whole scene is one that you don't just break into. If my last "GF" the sex addict handcuff girl and I had the least bit of real chemistry maybe I would be getting cuffed spanked raped and whatever else is really on her mind. Still some of the frigid stuff and the cruel mental aspects of her would never allow me to overcome that reality. To get into BDSM would heighten that cruelty but I can't imagine how it would be in a good way. Well I can sort of imagine but one certainly would have to trust someone at least I would to even consider handcuffs on me. Ha ha no way with this last one. I'd be getting it anally and screaming the stop word and she would be cupping and ear and mouthing "what?"
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Don't submit to dogma.
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 millzy
Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 6,876
Last seen: 2 hours, 34 minutes
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i'm not into pain, bondage or anything like that but am very much into bdsm. it's not all whips and chains and leather. personally i think that's more of a fashion statement than anything.
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It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.- Philip K. Dick
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,720
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Quote:
millzy said:
personally i think that's more of a fashion statement than anything.
I'm afraid a large part of the bdsm community disagrees with you on that, but if anything, you nicely illustrate the fact that everyone gets something else out of bdsm. But I don't think there are many people in the bdsm community who are not into pain or bondage. I mean, that's a bit of the essence, isn't it?
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LunarEclipse
Mr. Dogma Free
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 11,026
Loc: The Hand
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Quote:
koraks said:
Quote:
millzy said:
personally i think that's more of a fashion statement than anything.
I'm afraid a large part of the bdsm community disagrees with you on that, but if anything, you nicely illustrate the fact that everyone gets something else out of bdsm. But I don't think there are many people in the bdsm community who are not into pain or bondage. I mean, that's a bit of the essence, isn't it?
i am far too good at inflicting mental pain on myself and others to even consider doing it in a physical way
kidding sort of but not really why make abuse into more of a ritual than it already is?
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Don't submit to dogma.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,720
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I wouldn't call the inflicting of pain in a bdsm setting 'abuse' - and I think the ritual is an important aspect for many people. Sure, some people enjoy casual bdsm just like other people enjoy casual sex or a quickie, but elaborate play appears to be a turn-on for many. The anticipation, the slow buildup, the attention you get from/give to the other person.
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LunarEclipse
Mr. Dogma Free
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 11,026
Loc: The Hand
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Quote:
koraks said:
I wouldn't call the inflicting of pain in a bdsm setting 'abuse' - and I think the ritual is an important aspect for many people. Sure, some people enjoy casual bdsm just like other people enjoy casual sex or a quickie, but elaborate play appears to be a turn-on for many. The anticipation, the slow buildup, the attention you get from/give to the other person.
Well maybe abuse was a poor choice of words. It has some of the same dynamics though. I am not a huge fan of codependency which is what I see BDSM as having at it's core. But to each his own and the play part and the dress up and even the pain I can see it for sure as being fine until someone gets hurt...
Edited by LunarEclipse (08/16/11 05:50 PM)
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 20,720
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I don't think there's more codependency in bdsm than in any other form of sex, to be honest  And people do get hurt sometimes...I only see a problem there if the people involved don't want to get hurt. If they do, well...mission accomplished.
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Darwin23
INFJ
Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 2,357
Loc: United States
Last seen: 12 hours, 47 minutes
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Never actually been able to try it, but I'm totally turned on by it. I'd go for it.
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SillyMe
mongrel
Registered: 04/19/11
Posts: 226
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Quote:
koraks said:
The anticipation, the slow buildup, the attention you get from/give to the other person.
Yes, this exactly.
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He said fly with me, touch the face of the true God...
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She Wolf
Kinky Mistress
Registered: 03/05/13
Posts: 25
Loc: united states oklahoma
Last seen: 3 months, 7 days
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i love it when my boyfriend smacks me around a little its hot!!
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