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Anonymous #1
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 Re: just caught my wife...  [Re: TTT]
#14637379 - 06/19/11 01:30 PM (2 years, 5 hours ago) |
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I'm not going to try and take her child away as I have already stated. I believe he needs us both in his life. 'Getting revenge' would only make this situation worse than it already is. My sons welfare is top priority and honestly she has been a great mom. This still hurts very badly, but I can only move forward into a brighter tomorrow. Holding grudges will only hold me back.
thanks for the good vibes solemente  I need all I can get right now.
I think I will focus on creative endeavors such as music, writing, and visual arts. I have a lot of emotion to pull from right now.
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 dshow
Nomad
Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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 the human abstract
malaka the werewolf
Registered: 11/30/09
Posts: 8,817
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If the wife is capable of raising or helping raising the child it needs to be in your plan.
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the human abstract
malaka the werewolf
Registered: 11/30/09
Posts: 8,817
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dshow]
#14637411 - 06/19/11 01:38 PM (2 years, 5 hours ago) |
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Quote:
dshow said:
That's what I feel myself but we don't know the whole story.
OP needs to make sure he's making the right choice for his child.
If a women does this to her husband that she has a boy with I feel the man should have full custody. That is a lot of weight on the fathers back for having the women even involved with the son.
Most people find out at about 13-15 what the worlds about TTT. I see no fairy tail happening. I only see problems if this kid finds out what his mother did.
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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OP first off you're not the first person this has happened to. You know what's right and what's wrong, the biggest thing for now is to center yourself before taking any steps toward or away from the situation. If your wife is confused right now the last thing she needs is you helping her decide. Never let them win, I did that and it sucked ass for me. The way I would handle your situation if it was me (again) would be to calmly ask her to sit down with you so you can brainstorm and find the best solution for the two of you. The ball is in your court, and it's all in how you play it. Tell her that it's fucked what she's doing, and that if she can't wait for you guys to figure your lives out she needs to sign a statement recognizing she's having an extra-marital affair. This would be a good time to suggest counseling and getting an attorney. She's obviously not wanting you at this time, and perhaps she is just after a fling with this guy to "spice up" her life.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. In fact, it's got absolutely nothing to do with you, this is her doing her thing. People make decisions all the time, and they always benefit ourselves. If you were any part of this or her life right now, you'd be involved.
Sorry to be grim and blunt buddy. I truly wish you the best and know what you're going through. Name calling won't do anything but make you feel good for a minute. Remain calm and cool, maybe stay at a buddy's house for a while after you talk to her. If you show no emotion, and discuss it like you would if she had backed the car into the garage or something you will be much better off and will come out of this in a better place.
Happy father's day from me and the shroomery, if you'd like to discuss further feel free to 
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
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dshow
Nomad
Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14637649 - 06/19/11 02:42 PM (2 years, 4 hours ago) |
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best solution for the 2 of them? lol... she already made her obvious choice. and that is going behind his back and fucking other guys.
He needs to get some anger going and use that anger to fuel a better life.
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fngbronco
Monkey Man
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2,851
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dshow]
#14637688 - 06/19/11 02:53 PM (2 years, 3 hours ago) |
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Yes for the 2 them. He doesn't wanna take their son from her, and she doesn't think marriage and a relationship is what she wants in life. If she doesn't feel capable of being with someone she chose how's she gonna be happy with a child?
Watch Big Lebowski, emulate the Dude. Use the negativity (anger, dismay, sadness) to build something positive. Only two people in your life can make you happy man you and your kid, just be sure you find it first.
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I challenge you to challenge yourself more! When you feel complacent and ready to hang it up, challenge yourself to get over it! If you fail, don't look at it as you didn't succeed, look at it as you would a rock face you're trying to climb. Stand back, wayyyy back, and look at it and plot another path. If you can't find one, shuffle down the way a little, a little change of scenery or a view from a different angle may give you the insight you need.
Anything I state is relayed information from a friend of a friend and should be viewed as completely fictitious. I do not partake in any illegal or grey-area-of-the-law activities, but do have lots of friends who may or may not. -fngbronco
Pill Divider Agar Tek
Edited by fngbronco (06/19/11 02:57 PM)
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,969
Last seen: 6 days, 2 hours
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: fngbronco]
#14637731 - 06/19/11 03:07 PM (2 years, 3 hours ago) |
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i do not appreciate sexist stereotypes being given as 'advice', TTT. 'be men', wtf? i swear it seems women are often so quick to compare men to the status quo archetype. do you want us to start pointing out how unlady-like you are or can we just drop stereotypes all together?
i'm sorry OP i don't mean to derail, but that shit bothers me.
i really feel for you dude, what you're going through is one of my biggest worries. how can someone agree to such a commitment only to be so weak in the face of it? not only that, fucking over several lives in the wake of that weakness. i feel for you man... good luck! it sounds like you're going to do well!
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Quote:
the human abstract said:
Quote:
dshow said:
That's what I feel myself but we don't know the whole story.
OP needs to make sure he's making the right choice for his child.
If a women does this to her husband that she has a boy with I feel the man should have full custody. That is a lot of weight on the fathers back for having the women even involved with the son.
Most people find out at about 13-15 what the worlds about TTT. I see no fairy tail happening. I only see problems if this kid finds out what his mother did.
Dude, really?
No fucking shit we don't live in a fairy tale. But, when or if he finds out wwhat his mom did, he'll be old enough to form his own opinion and will most likely come to the conclusions that people make mistakes, people can be selfish, but most of all, people can love and forgive. I'm sure he could learn to love his mom because shes his mom when he finds out about it in time. I love my dad because he was my dad but I spent my whole childhood hating him and wondering why did I fuck up my parents life. Now that I'm in my early 20s I understand what was going on and I can understand both my parents.
Don't you remember what its like being a kid?
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14637946 - 06/19/11 04:01 PM (2 years, 2 hours ago) |
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Quote:
dummy said:
i do not appreciate sexist stereotypes being given as 'advice', TTT. 'be men', wtf? i swear it seems women are often so quick to compare men to the status quo archetype. do you want us to start pointing out how unlady-like you are or can we just drop stereotypes all together?
Because its one that everyone understands and some people relate to it more readily than others. Its basic and to the point. Regardless, it holds true. You have to be the mature, strong and rational one for those you love sometimes, even if it hurts you for a number of years.
Our archetypes for masculinity have some validity, but they shouldn't be guidelines in which all men fall under, but thats not related to whats going on.
I swear men are so quick to grab small portions of a reply and twist and misconstrue it in a way to find offense and bitch over when its only a small part of a much greater theme. An expression if you will.
See what I did there--see what you did there? heh
Edited by TTT (06/19/11 04:04 PM)
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Bipolarbear
Stranger with candy
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 828
Last seen: 1 year, 17 days
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT] 1
#14638524 - 06/19/11 06:14 PM (2 years, 37 minutes ago) |
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Who said anything about taking his child away from her? You guys are such drama queens it's funny to watch threads spiral out of control when you come back to them hours later...
Custody doesn't mean he is lording his child over her but a DIVORCE from his unfaithful wife will mean that they will be living under separate roofs from then on. That means that they have to work out a scenario where the child will be living with one another parent for set times. In my experience this time never never, never, ever is equal. If you wish to be the fool and not look after your own interests and stake a stronger claim for his time then go ahead. I doubt your (ex)wife will make the same mistake.
And another thing, I have seen many amicable divorces and there is always a tug-of-war with the children even in the best of cases. But to each their own. Don't say you weren't warned.
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Quote:
Bipolarbear said:
Who said anything about taking his child away from her? You guys are such drama queens it's funny to watch threads spiral out of control when you come back to them hours later...
Custody doesn't mean he is lording his child over her but a DIVORCE from his unfaithful wife will mean that they will be living under separate roofs from then on. That means that they have to work out a scenario where the child will be living with one another parent for set times. In my experience this time never never, never, ever is equal. If you wish to be the fool and not look after your own interests and stake a stronger claim for his time then go ahead. I doubt your (ex)wife will make the same mistake.
And another thing, I have seen many amicable divorces and there is always a tug-of-war with the children even in the best of cases. But to each their own. Don't say you weren't warned.
Um, a few other posters did. Hence my reply to them. The OP is being wise, IMO. Hes pacing his actions.
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,969
Last seen: 6 days, 2 hours
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14639316 - 06/19/11 09:18 PM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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i see you've justified your sexism. thats totally lady like.
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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.
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rackem
Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 7,915
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14639385 - 06/19/11 09:39 PM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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wait... she actually told you she wasnt happy and nothing was done on your part to fix this at that stage?
well hind sight and all...
start putting in effort for the kids sake maybe something good will come of it.
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the human abstract
malaka the werewolf
Registered: 11/30/09
Posts: 8,817
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dummy]
#14639437 - 06/19/11 09:53 PM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
dummy said:
i see you've justified your sexism. thats totally lady like.
no one cares.. lets help this dude out
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★★★ ★
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TheCreampie
Registered: 04/04/11
Posts: 657
Loc: Corner of crack and 8-bal...
Last seen: 1 month, 21 days
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This some Maury shit right here dawg.
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closed veil
Alpha Line Dog
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,384
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: dshow]
#14639797 - 06/19/11 11:12 PM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
TTT said:...By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness...
you obviously are not a parent. being a father has brought more joy into my life then anything else by far.
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Mitchnast said:
ice in the ass and pussy eh?
DANCE BITCH!
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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Quote:
dummy said:
i see you've justified your sexism. thats totally lady like.
Quote:
closed veil said:
Quote:
TTT said:...By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness...
you obviously are not a parent. being a father has brought more joy into my life then anything else by far.
I meant as in you put your childs well-being before your own.
I would never be a parent, fuck that shit.
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closed veil
Alpha Line Dog
Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 12,384
Loc: Thank you, beer.
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14639841 - 06/19/11 11:21 PM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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it's not for everyone. and some parents clearly made a mistake. but to say: "By conceiving a child you signed away your own happiness..." that's crazy and insulting.
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Mitchnast said:
ice in the ass and pussy eh?
DANCE BITCH!
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Anonymous #3
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Re: just caught my wife... [Re: TTT]
#14639854 - 06/19/11 11:23 PM (1 year, 11 months ago) |
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Im a dead beat dad so its like not having a kid 
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