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I had this trip many years ago and since then I have not done any psychedelic drug.
It was July 2005 when I finally got my hands on some fine home grown Psilocybe cubensis mushrooms. These mushrooms were the real deal. Each mushroom was at least least 6 inches long. Even before I picked up the mushrooms I knew I was going to take a lot. I had always talked about my psychedelic agenda and finally I meant to fulfill it. To the max.
My friend B and I each divvied out our planned doses. I was going to take 7 grams and B would take 3 grams. I asked B why he wouldn’t take more and he said he was just going to feel it out. I said I was going all in or nothing. We were both first timers and B made a much smarter decision to take 3 grams. We decided to trip in the woods in a state park. The park we chose was rather beautiful. It had hiking trails, a lake, and it was an all around peaceful place. B and I took a hiking path into the woods about 1 mile. We decided it would be better if we strayed off the path and took the mushrooms in a more private area. We found a nice little area with moss, ferns, and shady trees. We then proceeded to take our dose. 7 grams down the hatch with the help of a little orange juice. What a must taste I thought to myself. I did not like the taste of a psilocybe mushroom at all. Now that we had ingested the mushrooms the hardest part began, waiting. I was so nervous. I didn’t know if I was going to see hallucinations of fairytale creatures, if I would forget who I was, or if I would see rainbows. I was about to find out that my trip would be quite the opposite of any of my initial assumptions of what a mushroom trip was.
It crept ever so slowly into my head, that is, the psychedelia of the psilocyben mushroom. I explored my immediate environment with a comfortable and curious mind. I was captivated by a daddy longleg spider I found on a tree. Its legs were shinning ever so brilliantly with the gleaming colors of blue and green. I wondered if I was starting to trip. I decided to go see how B was doing. He said that he did not feel anything yet but was absolutely enjoying the nature. About 5 minutes passed and I told B what I was beginning to see. I told him that the tree in front of us was beginning to slowly melt. Shortly after seeing the tree I began to get hot. The woods began to feel cramped and I was becoming claustrophobic. I told B that we should leave and find an area where there may be a breeze. So we departed.
Without any trouble we took the path back to the parking lot exactly the same way we had entered. I for some reason was pacing fast the entire way and realized I had left B far behind me. I wondered if he was okay. I went back to find him and he was simply enjoying his walk. He was still not feeling anything yet. I on the other hand was becoming enveloped by some sort of mental miasma. My mind was surrending to the mushrooms. When we made it to the parking lot things became complicated. There were a decent amount of people in the "Lobby" area of the park. I absolutely did not like to trip around strangers and I sure as hell did not want them knowing I was on drugs. I walked with B and tried so hard to hold myself together. We walked past a woman and her children. I became uncontrollably manic with laughter for no particular reason. Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to hide something, or simply trying to appear normal. B I said, we have to get out of here now. We darted off the sidewalk into the woods. We walked up a trail for several hundred yards and I found my refuge about 400 feet off the path in a patch of grass and trees. My body temperature seemed to be rising. It was hot. Too hot.
I had my cd player with me so I decided to try out music. Whenever I was high on marijuana I always loved psytrance and so I figured I probably would on mushrooms too. My mixed cd included artists like infected mushroom, nystagamus, 1200 micrograms and more. At that time, under the influence of mushrooms, psytrance did not work for me at all. The music was horrific as it was loud and impossible to comprehend. I was getting hotter. I think it was around this time that I began to realize I was only in the beginning of level 5 mushroom trip. I decided to make myself puke so I could try and throw up any mushrooms that may still be digesting and possibly save myself from tripping too hard. Unfortunately I could not puke. Things were getting hard. It was so hard to think and I was getting scared. I told B that I was so hot and I needed water. I told him I thought I was dehydrating. B seemed to have his head on his shoulders and so he left me to search for water. There was nobody there to comfort me and I was not all alone in the woods on a 7 gram mushroom trip. This is when I entered into absolute lunacy.
My trip instantly became a nightmare. In a frantic state I stripped all my close off except my boxers. Evil began to surround me. I began to see things. I saw a demon face in the tree next to me. And when I looked down at the leaves on the ground, I saw that they too were demon face and they were staring right at me. I looked back at the tree and there were hundreds of demon faces watching me. No matter which direction I turned there were demon faces on everything. I tried to close my eyes but there were colored fractals that seemed to be spinning a hundred miles per hour and it made me sick. I was absolutely terrified and I wanted it to end. I remember thinking that I wanted somebody to punch me out so I could sleep through this nightmare. In this case of hell on earth there was only one thing left for me to do. Pray. I began to pray to God and asked him to give me the courage to fight my way through my nightmare. When I was done praying I stood up and told myself that I was getting out of these woods right now. I put my cloths on and began walking on the path. I had only walked a few hundred feet when I spotted someone.
It was B! He was back and he brought me water. I told him that we weren’t going back into the woods and so we both walked out triumphantly together. This is when my trip finally changed for the better. It was dusk now, people were leaving the park, and the temperature was dropping to a comfortable level. B and I found a picnic table by the lake and sat down. I was instantly at peace. I looked at B and he had 3 sets of eyes and mouths. I looked at the sky and I saw Easter Island heads in the clouds. I heard bullfrogs croaking in the distance and it was absolutely the most amazing sensation. The sound was orgasmic as it seemed to literally go in one ear and out the other. I could actually feel the sound tickle my ears. I heard children laughing and playing in the distance and their laughter was distorted and seemed to have a delay or echo to it. I could see the rocks in the water. The sky was made up of the most beautiful pinks, reds, blues, purples, and yellow tints. The sky met the lake on the horizon and I couldn’t tell where heaven began or ended. It was the most beautiful time in my trip. If only the peace had lasted.
Eventually it grew dark. I hated this fact and It was beginning to bother me. The light had gone away and now I was surrounded by blackness. I wanted the light back. I began to become flustered again. It was this time that I made a terrible mistake. I told B that I had to find my mom and tell her what I did. I had to get home to her. I asked if he could drive but he said no, he doesn’t have his license and he doesn’t know how. There was no stopping me. I was getting out of the darkness no matter what.
We got out of the parking lot and proceeded to the road. Driving was very intense and very hard. I had to lean forward and concentrate as hard as I could just to even stay on the road. We made it about 5 miles when I started veering off and on the road. I knew I had to stop before I killed someone and so I pulled off at the nearest parking lot. It was a golf course parking lot. Without any opposition from anyone we walked right onto the golf course and laid down in the grass. It was there that we planned to relax until our trips wore off. Suddenly I heard a POP and then a bright array of pink sparks emitted in the sky. There was a fireworks show! We really hit the jackpot on that one. It was amazing seeing the fireworks on the comedown of my trip. The colors of the fireworks would emulate about the sky and the bellows of the explosions were such a treat for my ears.
The trip wore off just as fast as it came to be. Only a short time passed and I was back to normal again. I remember think how good it was to be sober again. I had a newfound respect for sobriety. That night when I got home I felt so exhausted. My mind was tired and even my body. I slept like a baby.
I found out that mushrooms were a lot different than I had initially thought. For me there were no dancing fairies or magic gnome friends. I admit there were some interesting hallucinations but for the most part I would say my trip was a mental trip. And at times a mental battle.
I think its safe to say that my preparation was poor. I should have brought drinking water, I shouldn’t have eaten 7 grams, and I maybe we should have had one sober person to take care of us. Since this trip I have never done mushrooms again. I never plan on it either.
It's a bummer that you don't plan on doing mushrooms again. I took 3.5 my first time and I was scared the entire time, but when I came down and reflected on it, I realized that I would have been fine if I had eliminated some factors. They were mostly issues with how I was living my life at the time.
I can imagine that a 7 gram trip for a first timer could end up going terrible. You should at least consider taking some mushrooms again. Don't let one bad trip ruin it for you. Try taking 1 gram and work up from there maybe.
It really is better the more used to it you get (for me anyways).
Yeah man one time I was in a no hope mindset, spent $50+ on mushrooms, two different strains. One big one weighed to about 2g and some little ones around 5g. Had the most intense experience ever in my life.
At least you moved. I sat in a warm spot (it was winter night) curled up upside down on my head and did things that were pretty impossible to my old consciousness. I wouldn't finish with any medicine in a fearful way, personally. I had that happen with Salvia, tobacco and ganja but I fixed it all. They are sacred and must be honored.
I'm a 6-7 gram doser myself, but I started with 2.5... MUCH more mellow. I gradually worked my way up to 7. That was important b/c I learned ground rules for 'controling' my trip along the way... your emotions & your mind are important tools of the trip. I found that as long as I was in a comfortable, relaxing environment; I didn't stir emotions like fear or anxiety (which feed bad trips). And enjoying some creative literature, movies, or music either before my trip, or at the onset, results in fun, imaginative journeys.
Shrooming allows you to know yourself better & develop a deeper understanding of the world around you. Even at 7 grams, had you done them in a comfortable environment instead of romping through the woods & public areas... you would have had a much different experience.
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