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OfflineMatx
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Registered: 01/24/11
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Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Need some serious relationship advice!
    #13841064 - 01/24/11 08:41 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I've been dating my current girlfriend for 8 months. Since meeting, we have virtually spent every free moment we have together. When we aren't working or in class, we are together. We basically live together, she is over every single day and night.

It was my impression that the relationship has been growing stronger as the months go on. I moved away from my social life and now commute to college, so we could live together. She used to drive 50 miles every day to see me, she's not able to do the drive anymore, so I moved closer to her. (Not moved in, but to live 5 minutes from her, but like I said - she is over 24/7 everyday)

She spends tons of time on the computer, sometimes I fall asleep and she is on for hours after I pass out. It always sketches me out to find that the history is cleared, so I decided to look at the cookies (which she doesn't think to clear), and not only is it full of porn (which I find funny considering she will flip out if I ever did, she is super opposed to me doing so), but what really bothers me is it also has some adult dating sites (hookup sites). I have found them multiple times after waking up in the morning. Ok. If she is looking at porn it doesn't really bother me (a little confusing considering she is watching more hardcore porn in a night than I think most guys do), but the fact that she is going on these dating/local sex sites really devastates me :-(

It confuses the hell out of me, as our relationship seems super strong, and it is obvious that we love each other to death.

She is my first true love and a big part of me just doesn't want to believe it. I don't want to be away from her because she is the best friend I have ever had, but I know I am going to have to face it and bring it up soon.

I'm so torn. I find an amazing woman who I have a great connection with, and I just feel like such a fool to find all this. I treat her amazing, and it makes me feel like an idiot to think I'm so invested while she is looking for a fuck buddy.

She can't be cheating now considering we are always together. I know when she works and she isn't sneaking off anywhere. I always try to believe she isn't looking to cheat and is just an attention-whore who wants to be fed compliments (she is VERY sexually attractive, loves to show it off and obviously loves all the flattery. Huge boobs and not at all afraid to flaunt it). I really don't know how to bring this up. It's driving me crazy and I need to get to the bottom of it.

I don't know how to bring this up. I don't have the balls at the moment considering I moved an hour away from everything to be with her. I don't want to imagine being in this empty house away from everything alone. I'm really fucking afraid of the isolation, and I love her to death and have the best time with her.

How the hell to deal with this. I'm devastated  :-(

I don't even know why I posted this as the answer is obvious, I need to confront her. I just don't have anyone to talk about it with so I need to get it off my chest.

Edited by Matx (01/24/11 08:42 AM)

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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Registered: 10/24/10
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: Matx]
    #13841067 - 01/24/11 08:43 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

sounds like she has an addiction. sit and talk with her about it.

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Offlinemexicanjewlucas
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: Matx]
    #13841070 - 01/24/11 08:44 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

errr talk to her about it. fucks sake honesty.


--------------------
"We can get 2 birds stoned at once."

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OfflineMatx
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Registered: 01/24/11
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Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #13841071 - 01/24/11 08:44 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

She is very sexual and it wouldn't surprise me. How do you deal with someone like that? Trust would be near impossible

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Offlines240779
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: Matx]
    #13841076 - 01/24/11 08:45 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Personally I'd just ignore it. Wouldn't wanna risk losing such a hottie, would ya?

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OfflineMatx
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: s240779]
    #13841081 - 01/24/11 08:46 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Well after a few months it starts to boil up.. hard to keep it in. Especially if you are as emotionally invested as we are.

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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: Matx]
    #13841084 - 01/24/11 08:48 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Matx said:
She is very sexual and it wouldn't surprise me. How do you deal with someone like that? Trust would be near impossible



which is why you need to break it off. she's gorgeous. but if she has this problem, and wont accept help. then your better off without her. superhigh said that you should ignore it. but we both know that will just tear you up inside and only make things worse.

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Offlinec1dh3d
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: Matx]
    #13841085 - 01/24/11 08:48 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I can almost garuntee you that she will flip out about you spying on her when you bring up looking at the cookies, and the 'breach of trust' may very well nend the relationship itself. I'd get out if I were you, how the hell could you ever trust her again? Sounds like she is a total freak, and that isn't something you can just put a lid on.

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Offlineshroomzi8
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: Matx]
    #13841104 - 01/24/11 08:55 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

sounds to me like she is insecure. she likes the attention her body and actions get, this re-affirms her self-esteem. i think that the hook up web sites are just another way of her dealing with this. maybe its the one thing she finds it difficult to talk to you about, because being with you makes her feel secure. if you bring this up expect her to get all defensive and freaked out, this is her way of trying to cover up what she has done. this is also why she dont like you looking at porn. to her it feels like just looking at her isn't enough. however her hypocritical behaviour will drive a wedge between you eventually, so you gotta confront her and brace yourself for the fallout.
eventually, when it comes to it, the only person you have to wake up with every day for the rest of your life, is you! be true to yourself. one moment of courage. mahalos.:goodluck:

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OfflineShr00m0fD00m
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: c1dh3d]
    #13841115 - 01/24/11 08:59 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I think you just need to give her the greatest orgasm of her life.

Rock her fucking socks off and she won't have a need to check out hardcore porn and online dating sites.

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Offlines240779
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: Matx]
    #13841116 - 01/24/11 08:59 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Post some pictures of her by the way.

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OfflineHeffy
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: shroomzi8]
    #13841145 - 01/24/11 09:07 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

BRO! I have the real advice for you!

c1d is right, if you talk to her about it, she will get pissed!

You need to watch some really dirty porn in front of her, and when she says something about it you are like "well I couldn't help but notice you have been watching tons of porn on my computer, I didn't think it would bother you"

Then you play it up like you noticed she was using all these sex sites by accident.


--------------------
I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund

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OfflineEshu
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: s240779]
    #13841146 - 01/24/11 09:08 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I dated my first love for 2 1/2 years. I thought we were everything, until I used her laptop one day to find work, and came across "Adult friend finder" and her user name that she used FOR EVERYTHING was in the load bar.

I confronted her about it, and she didn't tweak, she just started crying, said sorry.. told me she never actually met up with anyone, she just liked the sexual talk, and attention.

the funny thing is, we had a great sex life too, she just needed more attention from more guys.

We ended up breaking up because of it, because she wouldn't stop, but whatever. Shit happens.

Just talk to her about it. Be like.. "I found this on the internet, and I'm worried"

Or something.


Good luck!


--------------------

~^*>~.Life is the hyphen between matter and spirit.~^*>~

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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #13841189 - 01/24/11 09:24 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

JesusGoneRogue said:
Quote:

Matx said:
She is very sexual and it wouldn't surprise me. How do you deal with someone like that? Trust would be near impossible



which is why you need to break it off. she's gorgeous. but if she has this problem, and wont accept help. then your better off without her. superhigh said that you should ignore it. but we both know that will just tear you up inside and only make things worse.



gonna quote my advice befor i go to dreamland. night errbody

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Invisiblegerryjarcia
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #13841229 - 01/24/11 09:37 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

damn dude, i feel your heartache :frown: fuckin' sucks.

there has been some good advice given thus far and you know what needs to be done, you knew before you posted here. it just sucks that it has come to this.

good luck with "the discussion". she may tweak the fuck out, but that's life. no one likes to have the skeletons pulled out of the closet unless they're the ones doing the pulling :shrug:


--------------------


"We are all intoxicated. We were born into an insane asylum, a world crazy-making. We believe what we see and hear. The real myth is the myth of sanity, of rationality: it's a disease that is eating away at the earth. All the poisons flow from our denial. We deny madness, we forget our crimes, we dismember the corpse, we imprison our children. We need poison to poison the poison, to remember the sacred nature of intoxication, the green body of the young god." ~ Dale Pendell

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OfflineDosile Kouki
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: Matx]
    #13841237 - 01/24/11 09:41 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Get her to catch you watching porno, and when she confronts you and says hey your not allowed to watch porno or whatever, say to her casually, oh come on its not like you've never watched porn before, i bet you've watched heaps of porn, and see what she says.


the net dating sites is a bit more of a difficult one to handle, i mean some girls actually do just go on there for the friendship and attention, and most likely wont be cheating or hooking up. But you never know.



Post pics of her to balance the equation. She is talking to other people behind your back, so you can post pics of her on websites behind her back.


--------------------

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OfflineLoveYourLife
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: gerryjarcia]
    #13841242 - 01/24/11 09:43 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Make sure that the hookup websites aren't just pop-ups because that tends to happen a lot on porn sites.
But regardless, she is a liar and hypocrite.  Dump her ass dude, she's only going to bring you down in the end.
Very, very far down.

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Offlines240779
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: LoveYourLife]
    #13841260 - 01/24/11 09:49 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

LoveYourLife said:
Make sure that the hookup websites aren't just pop-ups because that tends to happen a lot on porn sites.




:yesnod:

He might not even be able to determine that.

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OfflineHeffy
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: s240779]
    #13841277 - 01/24/11 09:53 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Get her to catch you watching porno, and when she confronts you and says hey your not allowed to watch porno or whatever, say to her casually, oh come on its not like you've never watched porn before, i bet you've watched heaps of porn, and see what she says.




Quote:

Post pics of her to balance the equation. She is talking to other people behind your back, so you can post pics of her on websites behind her back.


:thumbup:


--------------------
I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund

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OfflineLeon Ferrum
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Re: Need some serious relationship advice! [Re: s240779]
    #13841282 - 01/24/11 09:55 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

This thread sucks.

Why are there no pics of the girl in question? 

OP- what you need to do is go on the site and get a screen name.  Then talk to her online and bait her to see if she will meet up with you.  You could very easily monitor her activity and confront her in the same time.  How bad would she feel if she got all sexed up to meet up with some dude and then you showed up lol.

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