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 blujay
pass it b*ch!
 
Registered: 04/01/09
Posts: 4,721
Last seen: 20 days, 7 hours
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 Excuse my french, fatty. 1
#12971255 - 07/29/10 09:50 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Today I told the cashier at McDonalds that one cheeseburger simply would not be able to satiate me, and so therefore even though I paid for one, he must give me two injections of tasty, tasty lard. He looked at me like I was mentally handicapped, and refused.
I was pretty angry that he discriminated against my high metabolism, but I let it slide- people are arrogant, you know? I would of been fine, but then my day got even worse!
I had my new cable internet service turned on. When the service man arrived, I told him that 512kb/s wouldn't be enough for me to satisfy my perverted need for massive amounts of pornography of all varieties, and that without at least 1mb/s I would be left masturbating for hours every morning!
He looked at me like I was bat-shit crazy and told me if I wanted more bandwidth, I could go to the office and upgrade my service! How dare he discriminate against me based upon the impossible-to-satiate libido I was born with and have absoloutely no human reasonable way to possibly control, ever! What an inconsiderate cuntsickle!
Then, I went to Wal-Mart (see where this is going yet guys?) and bought a 4-pack of toilet paper. I told the woman at the register due to my high-fiber diet I always have a nile of poop that runs constantly, and that as such I should be given twice as much toilet paper for my dollar as the next man in line (who looked very confused, (I bet he was a dirty discriminating douche as well!) as for me it only goes half as far.
She also showed a maddening predjudice towards my runny-shitty ass, and told me if I wanted more toilet paper, I could go get more off the shelf and pay for it! There's nothing I can do about the fact that I eat less than three grams of protein a day! How dare they do this to me! I had a breakdown, right there in the aisle, and spent five minutes crying before security escorted me off the premises, before I could even pay for my poo-paper!
How come they didn't profusely apologize and pay for my toilet paper, maybe even fire the disrespectful employee who offended me through her completely unreasonable actions?!?!?!?
...So I decided to go ahead and go to a less barbaric state for the weekend, and with my great affluence I purchased a two-way ticket from Southwestern Airlines. A thin woman tried to sit next to me, and couldn't because of my excessive size (again, completely beyond my control!) I was very upset when she told me I was a fat lard and that I should get my jellyroll out of her seat, and had another breakdown.
Lucky for me, someone is sane! My afternoon was saved as the airline threw her disrespectful, unreasonable (healthy) cunt-ass off the plane to accomodate me. I'm so glad rational, reasonable policy still has a place in business! If I need two, but the other guy only needs one it's predjudiced to make me pay for two!!!
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wat man rly
Edited by blujay (07/29/10 09:58 AM)
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 desertturtle
not like the others
Registered: 06/15/07
Posts: 417
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 Re: Excuse my french, fatty. [Re: blujay]
#12971279 - 07/29/10 09:57 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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I feel ya
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Razzl3Frazzl3
Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 4,621
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Re: Excuse my french, fatty. [Re: blujay]
#12971280 - 07/29/10 09:58 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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eBay Shop for: Fresh Lard
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blujay
pass it b*ch!
Registered: 04/01/09
Posts: 4,721
Last seen: 20 days, 7 hours
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You know you're a redneck bored loser when you have the time toooo
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wat man rly
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 152,703
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck 
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Re: Excuse my french, fatty. [Re: blujay]
#12971404 - 07/29/10 10:34 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
There's nothing I can do about the fact that I eat less than three grams of protein a day!
other than eat more protein... of course the side effect of getting protein
is that it increases testosterone production and allows you to man the fuck
up so you're not crying for hours in the walmart checkout and only then can
you stand they with all 3 chins held high and suffocate that discriminating
cashier between your man boobs
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Poid
deBunker
Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,361
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: Excuse my french, fatty. [Re: Prisoner#1]
#12971591 - 07/29/10 11:19 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
There's nothing I can do about the fact that I eat less than three grams of protein a day!
other than eat more protein... of course the side effect of getting protein
is that it increases testosterone production...
Really? I didn't know that...
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Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan   fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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psilyguy
Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 3,305
Last seen: 4 months, 9 days
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Re: Excuse my french, fatty. [Re: blujay]
#12972265 - 07/29/10 01:20 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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you should have had to pay for that woman's ticket
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 152,703
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: Excuse my french, fatty. [Re: Poid]
#12972274 - 07/29/10 01:22 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Poid said:
Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
There's nothing I can do about the fact that I eat less than three grams of protein a day!
other than eat more protein... of course the side effect of getting protein
is that it increases testosterone production...
Really? I didn't know that...
I just made that up, it could be true but I was more concerned with
making a reply that kept with the topic than checking facts
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Ima Trooper
Nigga done got TOLE!
Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 9,432
Loc: 6th Demention
Last seen: 6 days, 21 hours
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Re: Excuse my french, fatty. [Re: Prisoner#1]
#12972342 - 07/29/10 01:34 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
psilyguy said:
you should have had to pay for that woman's ticket
Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
There's nothing I can do about the fact that I eat less than three grams of protein a day!
other than eat more protein... of course the side effect of getting protein
is that it increases testosterone production and allows you to man the fuck
up so you're not crying for hours in the walmart checkout and only then can
you stand they with all 3 chins held high and suffocate that discriminating
cashier between your man boobs
This isn't fo reals is it? I was all like  then all like 
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OP is now RP! Read about it here!
"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!"
deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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dummy
I am you and what I see is me
Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,934
Last seen: 7 months, 19 days
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yeah fatties really are a surge on society and they blame everyone BUT themselve.s
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Don't be afraid to tell your friends that your hurt inside. Pains part of life, don't hide behind your false pride; its a lie, your lie.
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