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Anonymous #1

Unable to follow through
    #12711564 - 06/08/10 10:18 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Again and again I tell myself I'm going to do something but I never follow through with it. I get pumped for it and do a ton of research on it but I never do it.

It's getting ridiculous now though. I feel like I am not in control of my own life. How do I change this behavior?

Advice appreciated


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OfflinePDU
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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12712432 - 06/09/10 12:37 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

You just do it.

Pick 1 thing, and do it.

Then do something else....

Once you do the first thing and break the inertia, momentum will build.


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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: PDU] * 1
    #12713303 - 06/09/10 04:14 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I have this same problem, and it is completely ridiculous as well. Let's take any hobby for example, say playing guitar. I will spend hundreds of dollars buying not beginner equipment but nice expensive stuff (because I'm so amped to rock out), buy / download all the literature I can and read it thoroughly, and I will sit down and strum for maybe a week before all the passion in me fizzles. Same with dieting. Buy healthy food, throw out all my snacks and unhealthy stuff, and in a week I have a fridge full of $100+ worth of rotting groceries. It has come to a point where I have about lost all confidence in myself to finish anything - everytime a girlfriend brings up marriage or kids I nearly shit myself.

I did however start college 2 years ago, and will be graduating this fall with honors, fiiiiinally. I will finally have seen something through to the end, other than a rockin grow. I guess I don't have much, if any advice, but if you really want to do something it has to be possible to do it - I dropped out of high school in 9th grade and I am almost graduated from college currently with a 3.73 GPA.

On the other hand, I know there are at least 3 things I know I can stick to: Work, Sex, and Shroomery. So I got a job, a slut, and a Droid smartphone with web access :thumbup:


Edited by c1dh3d (06/09/10 04:20 AM)


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OfflineKnox Harrington
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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12713329 - 06/09/10 04:32 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

It's quite simple really, you simply have to simplify your ambitions and keep it simple.
Find people who ignite your passions and inspire you to follow through on your ambitions.


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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #12713551 - 06/09/10 06:53 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

There's a difference between wishing you were interested in something and actually being interested in it enough to see it through to the end.

My trick, although it's not really a trick, has been to move onto the next thing as soon as I lost interest in the last thing. I've read heaps of books but have started many more. I've learned to play about 3 instruments well but can play a little bit of a whole lot more. I finished a handful of courses but had started more than that. I've grown heaps of plants but many more have died from neglect. I have a really great relationship now but it wasn't my first..    get what I'm sayin?

No use trying to force something if the payoff ain't worth the hassle.

If ya fall of the horse, get back on to something else... f@ck horses, maybe a motorbike is more your style.

:peace:


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OfflineAsanteA
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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12713574 - 06/09/10 07:05 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Umm what is it you want to make yourself do? For all we know there may be a good reason you can't follow through.

Suicide, bank robbery.. What's the plan man?


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Asante]
    #12714293 - 06/09/10 12:30 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Excel in school, eeat healthier (succeeding in this), work out 3 times a week, meditate 30 minutes a day, overcome fear.


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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12714323 - 06/09/10 12:37 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

what do you do on a normal basis? if you cant set aside 30 mins to workout/ yoga, then you watch way to much tv


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OfflinePDU
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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: legallyhomeless]
    #12714692 - 06/09/10 02:08 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Try yoga instead of meditation.

Although i am somewhat a sloth, i do get shit done and have overcome my own inertia in the past year and a half...

My point being - i still can't meditate.


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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12714806 - 06/09/10 02:35 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

PDU said:
Try yoga instead of meditation.





aren't they both the same?

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Excel in school, eeat healthier (succeeding in this), work out 3 times a week, meditate 30 minutes a day, overcome fear.




i think you are trying to do too many things all at once. maybe focusing on one thing at a time can make it easier. i know its hard because im like you i just want things done already, like NOW, but the more i want it the more i rush into things, and the longer it takes me to get the job done right. idk, try not to "try" so hard, just make it easier on yourself and, like someone above said, just do it!. skip all the rationality, next time you think about eating healthier instead of the "what if.."but my.."i cant.." tell yourself "fuck it" and just go and eat an apple. same with meditation, "i want to but i...", "theres not enough time...", "fuck it" and go sit down somewhere and just close your eyes. its that simple, when you get that first thought, skip the bullshit and "do it!".


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OfflinePDU
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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: zZZz]
    #12714849 - 06/09/10 02:45 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

zZZz said:
Quote:

PDU said:
Try yoga instead of meditation.




aren't they both the same?





Not necessarily.

Depending on the style of yoga it may be directed inward to a certain extent and could be considered a guided moving meditation i suppose.

However, Bikrams yoga and other forms are very physical and more of a test of body flexibility and mental stamina than inward self reflection.

The OP might benefit from paying for a class and facing his fear in a group setting, rather than trying to sit in a room forcing himself to do something he's not ready or able to do. By doing this, he will have faced his fears and overcome that first block of inertia.


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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: PDU]
    #12715518 - 06/09/10 05:00 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Agree with zzzz that you gotta take one thing at a time. I'm just like you, trying to conquer the world in a week. It just doesn't work. At least for me it doesn't. Since I started breaking things down and concentrating on one thing at a time, and not moving on until I get that one thing done, I have accomplished a lot more than in the past. Granted, it's not a lot, but it's a start. Don't try to do too much too soon because you'll burn out and lose interest. Baby steps is the way to go.


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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Fernis]
    #12721028 - 06/10/10 04:48 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

start an accountability club! i just did this, and it's working amazingly!

every Thursday me and a friend meet up in a park. we write down several things we want to do by the end of the week, and give the other person $10. now if by the end of the week do don't do all those things, we lose that $10. thus we're highly motivated to complete our tasks! turns out people are very risk averse (as in losing $10 is a much better motivator than the prospect of gaining $10).


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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: csrpj]
    #12721239 - 06/10/10 05:25 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I'm the same. I really want to get fit (I think I've got an overactive thyroid, its in the family) so want to get to sustainable, manageable weight. I've been off art since I finished a course over 2 years ago. Finally picked up my sketch book and doodled, only to throw pics away.

I'm going to go back to college in sept, but am already doubting myself :mad2: lol

It's not I'm lazy, well I maybe in mind, as I enjoy those things. I feel I need employment as a means to an end to a mind occupation which isn't right at all.

Sort of lost and drifting. I know there's something there, but I think I'm scared to access it.


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OfflineGrok
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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Hinny]
    #12724545 - 06/11/10 05:31 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

I used to have this problem. Nowadays I really strive to follow through with things I begin, and apply myself. It's kind of developed into a principal of mine. There's even a number of things I started years ago and drifted away from that I fully intend on finishing when I have the opportunity again. I find this to be a good habit to develop, if a hard one. I recall reading about how our brains evolved to seek out new novelty, and that this sense of novelty fads very quickly once we become habituated to something -- regardless of what it is. In fact there's an immensely interesting radio interview discussing this topic which is totally worth the 40~ minutes to listen to here. I find it to be very relevant to the problems with being unable to follow through with various goals.

It can be hard to motivate yourself, but if you really apply some discipline you will in time find that it comes more naturally. There's a lot of good habits I've developed that on a daily basis, I don't really want to maintain -- but I do it anyway, regardless of how I feel. It also helps to surround yourself with people who have this disposition. Being able to set goals and follow through with them is probably the most important aspect of getting ahead or having a rewarding life.


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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12727456 - 06/11/10 07:04 PM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Again and again I tell myself I'm going to do something but I never follow through with it. I get pumped for it and do a ton of research on it but I never do it.

It's getting ridiculous now though. I feel like I am not in control of my own life. How do I change this behavior?

Advice appreciated




Maybe you aren't really ready to change.  At least not in the direction something is telling you to do "a ton of research" on. 

But at least you are doing your homework and so in a senseyou are "doing it". 

Of course you are correct sir completion is the goal.

Still, what is "done"?  I mean on can judge a cake and say "yes this cake looks done" and it isn't raw or overbaked so who is to say "no, this cake isn't done".

Still, it was the making and baking of the cake that was at least as much fun as the eating although icing off of mixer blades is the best.

Enjoy.


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Re: Unable to follow through [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12734635 - 06/13/10 05:59 AM (3 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Again and again I tell myself I'm going to do something but I never follow through with it. I get pumped for it and do a ton of research on it but I never do it.

It's getting ridiculous now though. I feel like I am not in control of my own life. How do I change this behavior?

Advice appreciated



Quote:

Anonymous said:
Excel in school, eeat healthier (succeeding in this), work out 3 times a week, meditate 30 minutes a day, overcome fear.




It's easy to get excited about making big changes, but that enthusiasm is not always going to be there, so you need a way to make sure you take action when you're tired/cranky/resentful.

Changes have to take the form of habits, IMHO. Willpower alone cannot last.

I like csrpj's accountability club idea. Accountability to somebody else goes a long way.

Also, only make one of these changes at a time. Habit change is hard, and each additional change you want to make will reduce your chances of following through with any of them.

Some of the changes you listed are also not very specific. Can you turn "excel in school" into a daily habit you can actually *do*? Like "Begin each assignment the day it is assigned, for at least 60 minutes." See how long a streak you can get going. Get a big calendar and put it on your fridge. Get a big red marker and take pleasure in writing a big fat X on each day you do it.

Whatever habit you pick, it should be one that is immediately rewarding. If there is no reward until you're weeks down the road, it's going to be hard to keep at it. Doing your schoolwork aggressively will have the immediate reward of reducing school related stress, so that's incentive to keep doing it.

Don't worry about the other habits, pick one and kick its ass for at least a month before starting another. That's key.


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