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Anonymous #1

Ex Girlfriend Trouble
    #12390542 - 04/14/10 04:56 AM (4 years, 3 months ago)

You guys helped me out with my other problem in here recently, so, why not post this one and see what you say.

A little back story. My girlfriend and I were together for 5 years. Lived together for 1. tl;dr - we grew apart, shit hit the fan, the relationship ended. I didn't really want it to at the time, but it was her choice, and reflecting, it prolly wasn't that bad of a thing. It was going to happen eventually anyway.

So, shes fine and living her life. Admittedly, I'm still upset a few months later. Not so much that the bitch is gone...just that 90% of my plans for life have been fucked around. I'm scrambling, looking for a new roommate, a place to go to school (we were gonna go together), just kinda lonely. Whatever. I am still kinda sad, but fuck it. Its to be expected after a 5 year relationship.

Now, the thing is...she won't fucking leave me alone. I quit facebook, I started a blog instead. She emails me every few weeks saying "I'm worried about you, are you ok?" and I always say "I'm not ready to forgive you or talk to you, maybe someday." What I really mean is "You're fucking dead to me, please stop communicating with me, because I kinda hate you." However, I CAN'T JUST SAY IT. Not for any reason you're thinking. Simply because she knows a LOT of sensitive information about me. If you think about what kind of website this is I'm posting on, you'll have a good clue into my recreational activities...and not many of them are legal. I don't want or need her as an enemy - if she decided to be a cunt, I could be in a lot of fucking trouble.

So, how do I say "fuck you, you're dead to me, never talk to me again" nicely?


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OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery Arcade Champion: Squirrel Soccer


Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,617
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 18 hours, 43 minutes
Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12390609 - 04/14/10 05:32 AM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Not say it? If you don't care about her, why do you want to say these words to her?


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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OfflineShroomXolomilco
The Man


Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 441
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #12390620 - 04/14/10 05:38 AM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Just ignore her.


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Invisibletripleclick
cloud bursting
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/06/07
Posts: 3,456
Loc: mirror maze Flag
Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12390626 - 04/14/10 05:42 AM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomXolomilco said:
Just ignore her.



this

she's probably waiting for you to tell her to get the fuck away cause she can't do it either

patience

:shineon:


--------------------


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OfflineForestHermit
Hermit


Registered: 04/06/10
Posts: 311
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12390726 - 04/14/10 06:31 AM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
You guys helped me out with my other problem in here recently, so, why not post this one and see what you say.

A little back story. My girlfriend and I were together for 5 years. Lived together for 1. tl;dr - we grew apart, shit hit the fan, the relationship ended. I didn't really want it to at the time, but it was her choice, and reflecting, it prolly wasn't that bad of a thing. It was going to happen eventually anyway.

So, shes fine and living her life. Admittedly, I'm still upset a few months later. Not so much that the bitch is gone...just that 90% of my plans for life have been fucked around. I'm scrambling, looking for a new roommate, a place to go to school (we were gonna go together), just kinda lonely. Whatever. I am still kinda sad, but fuck it. Its to be expected after a 5 year relationship.

Now, the thing is...she won't fucking leave me alone. I quit facebook, I started a blog instead. She emails me every few weeks saying "I'm worried about you, are you ok?" and I always say "I'm not ready to forgive you or talk to you, maybe someday." What I really mean is "You're fucking dead to me, please stop communicating with me, because I kinda hate you." However, I CAN'T JUST SAY IT. Not for any reason you're thinking. Simply because she knows a LOT of sensitive information about me. If you think about what kind of website this is I'm posting on, you'll have a good clue into my recreational activities...and not many of them are legal. I don't want or need her as an enemy - if she decided to be a cunt, I could be in a lot of fucking trouble.

So, how do I say "fuck you, you're dead to me, never talk to me again" nicely?




:facepalm:

This is why, exactly why, you dont let gf's in on what youre doing period. Because usually people split sooner or later then youre left wondering then when/if shes gonna be a bitch and turn you in. In the future, avoid such situations.

I have learned that you never base your life around someone else. You let them base theirs around yours at best.Most people in life are ships passing in the night.

I guess the only nice way to let her know is to keep doing what you already are, which is ignoring her mostly and eventually she will go away.It may take awhile for her to get the hint but she will.Dont be in any hurry to get rid of her let her think its her idea. You gotta play damage control on this one now. So patience.

If you tell her off, she will get pissed and might turn on you. If you ignore her she will just decide you arent worth her time or efforts and shell just move on without malice.


--------------------


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Anonymous #2

Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: ShroomXolomilco]
    #12390741 - 04/14/10 06:39 AM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomXolomilco said:
Just ignore her.




Exactly.  Remember the phrase, "Silence is golden."  ?? 

That phrase works on many different levels.

Simply don't respond to any of her inquiries.  If you see her around, simply tell her that you've been really busy and you haven't had time for her.

If she's hurt, tough.  You're hurt, isn't it tough for you?

The best thing you can say is nothing at all and let her own mind imagine whatever it wants.


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OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,617
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Last seen: 18 hours, 43 minutes
Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: tripleclick]
    #12390742 - 04/14/10 06:39 AM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

tripleclick said:
Quote:

ShroomXolomilco said:
Just ignore her.



this

she's probably waiting for you to tell her to get the fuck away cause she can't do it either

patience

:shineon:



Yeah, I'm sure she is. :lol:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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OfflinePowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12391502 - 04/14/10 10:32 AM (4 years, 3 months ago)

I'd say a combination of ignore her but every so often if she persists you can give her a brief reply that you're just very busy now trying to sort out life arrangements etc..

Outright ignoring could get rid of her... or send her over the edge.  You would know her tendencies better than any of us.

As much as you can't stand her or may be pissed off at her, it's always best not to show it.  That doesn't mean you have to be friends or stay in contact with her.  Showing her you've moved past the relationship into the next chapter of your life will put you in the best light.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: ForestHermit]
    #12391699 - 04/14/10 11:14 AM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

ForestHermit said:This is why, exactly why, you dont let gf's in on what youre doing period.

I have learned that you never base your life around someone else.




I "let her in on it" because she was living with me. She knew every single area of my house, she was with me most of the time every single day. There was no way to not let her in on it. She was in my house.

And yeah. I should have known that second part...I kinda did, but everything was looking OK for the longest time. Lesson learned. I know that NOW, but it doesn't help my already fucked up situation unfortunately lol.



Thanks for the "ignore her" tips. I was really thinking about that being the best course of action...but I don't want her to fucking end up coming here to make sure I'm not dead. Shes giving me the whole "blah blah don't drink yourself to death" speech. I guess when she was around my level of drinking was appropriate because she was here to indulge with me. Now that its just me and the homies, I'm "drinking unhealthy amounts" :whatever:

Fucking cunt. I need to find someone new...if theres anything that will get her to leave me alone its having another female companion. Too bad its easier said than done.


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OfflineForestHermit
Hermit


Registered: 04/06/10
Posts: 311
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12392288 - 04/14/10 12:43 PM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:


I "let her in on it" because she was living with me. She knew every single area of my house, she was with me most of the time every single day. There was no way to not let her in on it. She was in my house.





Thats too much time together for a healthy relationship, IMHO. Everyone needs a healthy amount of space to thrive.

If someone was around me most of the time everyday, Id lose my mind.

Its obviously hard to avoid in that situation but all it takes is one mistake to lose your freedom and lets face it most relationships fail.

Either avoid living with people or find a way to conceal it, if you're going to grow or else it's just gonna cause you heartache one day.

If you own a house, consider a small secret room being built.

You seriously had no time to being alone enough to conceal something?

Hell most people never see most rooms of my house.They dont need to. Im just different I guess.


--------------------


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: ForestHermit]
    #12392411 - 04/14/10 01:01 PM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

ForestHermit said:
You seriously had no time to being alone enough to conceal something?





:lol: She was my girlfriend for 5 years...I didn't think much of it. She came home one day, and I just had a grow-op. :shrug:

She came into OUR bedroom (not mine at the time) and said "Whats that?"...I dunno lol. It was a place my friends didn't go (I have a party room) and she was the only other person in the room with me, so I didn't worry about it.

Anyway, thankfully, shes not angry about the relationship, shes not mad at me, she has no reason to be a cunt.


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OfflineForestHermit
Hermit


Registered: 04/06/10
Posts: 311
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12392513 - 04/14/10 01:22 PM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

ForestHermit said:
You seriously had no time to being alone enough to conceal something?





:lol: She was my girlfriend for 5 years...I didn't think much of it. She came home one day, and I just had a grow-op. :shrug:

She came into OUR bedroom (not mine at the time) and said "Whats that?"...I dunno lol. It was a place my friends didn't go (I have a party room) and she was the only other person in the room with me, so I didn't worry about it.

Anyway, thankfully, shes not angry about the relationship, shes not mad at me, she has no reason to be a cunt.




You are too trusting IMO. I dont really trust people because Ive seen too many gf's,ex-gf's,friends,family,wives and ex-wives turn on people and turn them in for the stupidest reasons or even no seemingly real reason at all. People are fickle creatures.

Is she at least into the scene?

I have secrets that will go to my grave. Ive been engaged to people and they still didnt know about things I do, things I did or secrets I had. I guess Im just a very private person and dont trust that people wont have a sudden change of heart and screw me over.

I think you've lucked out this time but next time you may not be as lucky.

Conceal,conceal,conceal...

I dont let women in on many things. They dont know whats in my bank account, they dont know where my investments are or how much and they definitely dont know if I do anything illegal or not. Its best that way, IMO.

Of course Im sure many people think I sound like an asshole for saying it but Ive never had to even remotely worry about any situations like this.

Im not getting down on you and I dont blame you. Its human nature to share/confess and want to be open about things and people think theyre gonna be together forever and common sense goes out the window sometimes.


--------------------


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Anonymous #1

Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: ForestHermit]
    #12392609 - 04/14/10 01:39 PM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah, its all being noted. I see exactly where you're coming from man, and I do appreciate the advise. I'm not quick to trust either, but maybe a little more quick than I should be.

Thanks :]


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Invisiblezengarden66
Strange

Registered: 02/06/10
Posts: 531
Loc: Florida
Re: Ex Girlfriend Trouble [Re: ForestHermit]
    #12394634 - 04/14/10 07:28 PM (4 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

ForestHermit said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

ForestHermit said:
You seriously had no time to being alone enough to conceal something?





:lol: She was my girlfriend for 5 years...I didn't think much of it. She came home one day, and I just had a grow-op. :shrug:

She came into OUR bedroom (not mine at the time) and said "Whats that?"...I dunno lol. It was a place my friends didn't go (I have a party room) and she was the only other person in the room with me, so I didn't worry about it.

Anyway, thankfully, shes not angry about the relationship, shes not mad at me, she has no reason to be a cunt.




You are too trusting IMO. I dont really trust people because Ive seen too many gf's,ex-gf's,friends,family,wives and ex-wives turn on people and turn them in for the stupidest reasons or even no seemingly real reason at all. People are fickle creatures.

Is she at least into the scene?

I have secrets that will go to my grave. Ive been engaged to people and they still didnt know about things I do, things I did or secrets I had. I guess Im just a very private person and dont trust that people wont have a sudden change of heart and screw me over.

I think you've lucked out this time but next time you may not be as lucky.

Conceal,conceal,conceal...

I dont let women in on many things. They dont know whats in my bank account, they dont know where my investments are or how much and they definitely dont know if I do anything illegal or not. Its best that way, IMO.

Of course Im sure many people think I sound like an asshole for saying it but Ive never had to even remotely worry about any situations like this.

Im not getting down on you and I dont blame you. Its human nature to share/confess and want to be open about things and people think theyre gonna be together forever and common sense goes out the window sometimes.




Good stuff :thumbup:


--------------------
mangmangmang


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