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I AM SWIM
doin' thangs
Registered: 12/24/08
Posts: 9,999
Loc: Feels Changsta Man
Last seen: 2 days, 11 hours
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: JackofSpades]
#11762447 - 01/04/10 12:05 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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stereolab
Wizard
Registered: 06/08/09
Posts: 941
Loc: NY
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: I AM SWIM]
#11762464 - 01/04/10 12:08 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
I AM SWIM said:
-------------------- Space is the Place
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World Spirit
PNW
Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 9,817
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: JackofSpades]
#11762468 - 01/04/10 12:09 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
JackofSpades said: Thats a quote from Pitch Black but it really does relate to my situation at this moment.
I believe in God and I fucking hate him/it/me.
I've had moments on ayahuasca/dmt/lsd/mushrooms where I see all the love and peace and perfection and infinite wonder but you know what?
FUCK THAT.
I don't care. I don't give a fuck. I feel fucking horrible. I can't recall the last time I felt fucking good about myself when not on a substance.
I fucking meditate every day, I try and be nice to people (even when I feel like cutting everyone's throat), I try to do the right thing, I exercise, I run, I go to therapy, fuck, i even did a fucking isolation tank the other day and this fucking shit still rots and eats away at me literally EVERY fucking second of the day
This shit inside of me has destroyed or is currently destroying nearly every relationship I'm involved in. I have so much fucking social anxiety because I can't fucking feel anything.
FUCK THIS. FUCK GOD. FUCK EVERYTHING. ALL I feel is perpetual fucking hatred and CONSTANT I MEAN CONSTANT FUCKING FEAR.
FUCK.
Eh Jack....Listen for a few minutes or less.
You've got all the decisions in the world right now, not the opposite.
The best thing to do is what you've already done: Self-acknowledgment.
The rest isn't going to make a positive out of your current situation.
Ride the wave. Ride the next wave. The wave is you doing you, and it's okay. Just ride the .
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Frost
Inside a locked room
Registered: 02/24/07
Posts: 5,947
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: themostpurple]
#11762470 - 01/04/10 12:09 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
themostpurple said: this post reminded me of how awesome of a movie pitch black is, thank you.
hahaha me too
-------------------- “I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I've been knocking from the inside.” - Rumi “The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” - Carl Sagan
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eeso
Str@nger
Registered: 03/25/07
Posts: 554
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: JackofSpades]
#11762484 - 01/04/10 12:13 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Not that it's any consolation but I can relate man.
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Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire
Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 13,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 6 hours, 37 minutes
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: JackofSpades]
#11762507 - 01/04/10 12:16 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Dude, what you just said is pretty much WORD FOR FUCKING WORD how I wrote down what I was feeling a few years ago. I would go get the paper I wrote on out of the box of fucked up shit from that point in my life, but I have to go to work in just a few minutes.
Although you can't possibly tell right now, life WILL get better. You WILL begin feeling again. I felt like I had "used up" all my other emotions, or all the chemicals that made those emotions like love, a sense of well being, happiness, excitement, etc. All of them except for pure undiluted hatred and fear/anxiety. I had THOSE in bunches.
What I can tell you to do, what eventually helped me, was to get on SSRI's. I know a lot of people here will say not too, and I would also warn you that the side effects will probably not be great, and whenever you quit them, it really sucks.
But if I hadn't broken down and been on them for a period of time, I would quite possibly have killed myself.
STOP thinking about God. He either does not exist, or he's a complete asshole or he is something we cannot even come close to comprehending.
Non existent = Doesn't matter. Live life for yourself. Have fun, do what you want without guilt. Be free to pursue sexual taboos, or think differently, or do "sinful" things. TAKE PLEASURE!
Complete asshole/Christian God = Fuck him. He's impeding your happiness. Live life the way you want to. Be rebellious. Don't think about him if it makes you unhappy or angry. The best way to get back at him is to ignore his rules and just have fun.
Something beyond our comprehension = Do what you want! Hell, you can't even begin to understand what his rules are, much less abide by them! Make your own rules and morals! BE FREE!
To hell with guilty pleasure! And to hell with the idea of Hell! I mean, either you're going there or not, right? So either way, enjoy this life!
True happiness was gained by me personally by finally letting go of the stupid, logically flawed christian upbringing I had. Let go of it man! It doesn't make sense and IT'S NOT TRUE. Hell doesn't exist, and neither does god, or if he does, he sure isn't that petty, spiteful little bitch the christians think he is. Just live your life the way YOU want, fuck the rest.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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loggin shrooms
Stranger
Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 40
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: Ima Trooper]
#11762713 - 01/04/10 01:16 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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wow I log on here to read about mushrooms, but... got to admit I really do enjoy these fucked up postings. It is simply amazing what the human brain will come up with ain't it? So, dude, like why is this god thing a male? Male implies gender. Why not a woman. Why not a duck? I personally only honor the flying spaghetti monster - which of course as you all know is the only TRUE GOD. So, if god is a male- you ever think about the cock on that sucker. Like you're god, OK? So you gonna be hung like a mouse or a donkey? We know the answer to that. Speaking of donkeys, maybe that is why the thumpers say Mary road an ass into Bethlehem. "Ride it baby, ride it!!" Or, maybe that is why god only has one kid, who was a bit of screw up apparently, The only way your manly man god ever got laid was with some other guys wife. Yes, your cock can be too big. But, I guess that if your cock was that big you wouldn't need a friend as you could suck it yourself. So, see, you don't need to worry about god, that mean old bastard anyway, he's busy sucking his own dick and hasn't got time for you. You pathetic little whiner. So now you can just go be miserable and feel all self centered sorry for yourself in complete confidence, knowing that god hasn't got time for you.
PS lay off those triple espressos man, they'll fry your little brain.
Oh yeah, I do feel really bad for you......... Maybe before you end it all you could go volunteer some time cleaning up garbage or helping at the old folks home or take a poor kid out to a movie or or or or or get the idea. Doing something is always better than just sitting around whining. Unless of course you're god, and then you know what SHE's doing Wow, ever think about the pussy on that bitch
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dehoefasho
Registered: 11/12/09
Posts: 750
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: loggin shrooms]
#11762747 - 01/04/10 01:25 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Convert to my religion.
-------------------- The universe is far smaller than the complexities of the conscious and subconscious.
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loggin shrooms
Stranger
Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 40
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: dehoefasho]
#11762765 - 01/04/10 01:30 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Holy cock lickers bat person I'm surprised Mary didn't ride a whale I'm converting right now now that I know who the true god is thanks for the link dehoe!
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seraphnz
default
Registered: 05/07/09
Posts: 290
Loc: vally of the real
Last seen: 3 months, 26 days
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: loggin shrooms]
#11762811 - 01/04/10 01:49 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Find a book your interested in. Get high and read it and try forget the world.
Its up to you, try and find something you enjoy to ease the time passing.
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bootlegapparel
*******
Registered: 09/08/09
Posts: 66
Loc: NSW Australia
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: seraphnz]
#11762842 - 01/04/10 02:02 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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I think your problem is you're trying to do things that OTHER PEOPLE have told you will make you a good person, or make you feel good about yourself. Don't fall for all the new age shit, don't fall for the old stuff, don't fall for anything, do what YOU WANT to do, do something that you enjoy, rather than something you're SUPPOSED to enjoy. Then you'll start having fun.
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GoshAllMighty
Oh My Gosh!
Registered: 05/02/09
Posts: 837
Loc: °360
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: loggin shrooms]
#11762891 - 01/04/10 02:22 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Into the wild can be a good option, you can realize skull chatter can be a pain in the ass and that you're most likely(on this planet) to sit around, not thinking, and doing nothing like all the other animals. Society pressures you into missing out on things, telling you to suck this life dry of all the happiness you can get, because after all(in their view) thats what life is for. I would suggest going to the Zoo maybe, on shrooms, and watch how all the other animals just dont care, and relize you are far more this than anything, just some big chunks of blindly evolved complexity floating around in a mostly uninhabitable nuclear explosion field space. OR become a militant atheist, we always need more troops!
Epicurus Qoute(0:23)
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
David Hume Qoute(0:30)
"God's power is infinite, Whatever he wills is executed; But neither man nor any other animal is happy; therefore he does not will their happiness. Epicurus' old questions are yet unanswered. Is he both able and willing to prevent evil? Then whence cometh evil?"
-------------------- Perception is delicious.
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Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire
Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 13,535
Loc: United States
Last seen: 6 hours, 37 minutes
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: loggin shrooms]
#11763323 - 01/04/10 06:01 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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You're obviously a troll...go troll someplace else. And make more sense while you're there.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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Hiei
8======><=====8
Registered: 01/23/08
Posts: 2,648
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: Ima Trooper]
#11763359 - 01/04/10 06:22 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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I was feeling like shit yesterday and thought about life as just a videogame. You know, it really is just like a videogame, where you can do certain things, not every thing of course, and then Game Over. Have fun watching yourself doing what you can do.
That is what I do when I play a videogame.
-------------------- ◄►۞◄►
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nickc
Psyche-dult
Registered: 04/10/09
Posts: 559
Loc: Melbourne, VIC
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: Hiei]
#11763395 - 01/04/10 06:43 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Get off the psychedelics brosef. I get really gutted with the world if I've been tripping too much.
I believe that in order to live a harmonious and enjoyable life psychedelics drugs are great for letting you see everything as it truly is, but let the warmth of societal conditioning and being a part of the human race give you happiness by letting your brain stop tearing itself apart on LSD, mushrooms etc.
Just my 2c.
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Kada
Asha'man
Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 12,395
Loc: Buckeye
Last seen: 10 days, 19 minutes
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: JackofSpades]
#11763487 - 01/04/10 07:28 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Don't think about that shit to much man, It will drive you insane. I was where you are at right now once, all I can say is stop doing drugs for a while. Took me about 6 months to screw my head on straight and I didn't do drugs again after that for 4 years. I'm not saying your line of thinking is bad really, but it's driving you insane so just stop and step back for a little bit before you lose it completely. I get chills remembering how out of it I was. It almost killed me.
-------------------- ~The Cultivators Motherload~ "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein "There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama Live long and prosper.
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I AM SWIM
doin' thangs
Registered: 12/24/08
Posts: 9,999
Loc: Feels Changsta Man
Last seen: 2 days, 11 hours
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: loggin shrooms]
#11763625 - 01/04/10 08:19 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
loggin shrooms said: Like you're god, OK? So you gonna be hung like a mouse or a donkey?
god has a bigger dick than a mouse
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JackofSpades
Peace
Registered: 03/01/09
Posts: 2,897
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: stereolab]
#11763909 - 01/04/10 09:52 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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I've read it. Check out Angel Tech by Antero Ali and another one of his books called the 8 circuit model.
I've also done MDMA
of course I love god, my problem is just my ego's instability at this point and I needed to vent. life is suffering said the buddha....
-------------------- If you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.
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deCypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: JackofSpades]
#11763977 - 01/04/10 10:16 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
JackofSpades said: if god is god why isn't everything just peace and love?
Quote:
I am the LORD, and there is no other, The One forming light and creating darkness, Causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the LORD who does all these.
--Isaiah 45:6-7
-------------------- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 15 days, 21 hours
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Re: I absolutely believe in God and I absolutely Hate the fucker. [Re: JackofSpades]
#11763987 - 01/04/10 10:17 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
life is suffering said the buddha....
Deep down, do you agree? Is all of life suffering? And if so, what are the implications of this? (Buddha did not advocate suicide or despair...)
(Asking myself these questions as well...)
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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