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IdeLOLogies
Strange
Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 461
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: Learyfan]
#10853799 - 08/13/09 03:50 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Learyfan said: Use this page for help if you want.
Quote:
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces. (2 Kings 2:23-24 NAB)
Ironically that was the first story i read when recording my bands first album, i loled when i read it.
-------------------- God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Why does God give us anything? Look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, it would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.
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dr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,654
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: Detrimental]
#10853830 - 08/13/09 03:55 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Detrimental said: Is this thee bible?
here's some bible
"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it." Malachi 2:3
"But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?" 2 Kings 18:27 KJV
"Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up." Hosea 13:16
"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee:" Deuteronomy 28:53 "You cannot be Jesus's disciple unless you hate your mother, father, and family" Luke 14:26
"Men are holy if they stay away from women" I Samuel 21:4-5
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King Koopa
Mr. Hit Dat Hoe
Registered: 06/02/08
Posts: 8,045
Loc: Houston
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: Detrimental]
#10853835 - 08/13/09 03:56 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Detrimental said: this is the king james version knowbody follows it
it's followed by the millions. But the book is not a very accurate translation
-------------------- Best Post on the Shroomery Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it.
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Learyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,182
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 7 hours, 50 minutes
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: littlebirdie]
#10853838 - 08/13/09 03:57 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Make ready to slaughter his sons for the guilt of their fathers; Lest they rise and posses the earth, and fill the breadth of the world with tyrants. (Isaiah 14:21 NAB)
-------------------- -------------------------------- Mp3 of the month: Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish
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Detrimental
Coaster is a faggot
Registered: 08/12/09
Posts: 156
Loc: Coaster is a faggot.
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: King Koopa]
#10853845 - 08/13/09 03:58 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Prisoner which version is that bible?
Quote:
King Koopa said:
Quote:
Detrimental said: this is the king james version knowbody follows it
it's followed by the millions. But the book is not a very accurate translation
Who translated it King James? What did he translate it from lots of different scriptures found in different locations in israel?
-------------------- I am coasters lame puppet butthurt meltdown, you tell me puppet owned by OTD.
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IdeLOLogies
Strange
Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 461
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: Detrimental]
#10853863 - 08/13/09 04:01 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Detrimental said: Prisoner which version is that bible?
Quote:
King Koopa said:
Quote:
Detrimental said: this is the king james version knowbody follows it
it's followed by the millions. But the book is not a very accurate translation
Who translated it King James? What did he translate it from lots of different scriptures found in different locations in israel?
Maybe he just wiki'ed it? Much easier than going on a bunch of quests and shit.
-------------------- God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Why does God give us anything? Look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, it would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.
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King Koopa
Mr. Hit Dat Hoe
Registered: 06/02/08
Posts: 8,045
Loc: Houston
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: Detrimental]
#10853887 - 08/13/09 04:04 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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a group of translators hired by King James I in the 1600's. I'm guessing it was translated from arabic???
Pris is quoting KJ
-------------------- Best Post on the Shroomery Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it.
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King Koopa
Mr. Hit Dat Hoe
Registered: 06/02/08
Posts: 8,045
Loc: Houston
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: IdeLOLogies]
#10853923 - 08/13/09 04:10 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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With a name like IdeLOLogies, one would think you were'nt ignorant in the subject. It's used by baptists, methodists, pentecostal, non-donomination, and more i can't think of.
And I'm just talking about US
-------------------- Best Post on the Shroomery Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it.
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twighead
mͯó
Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 30,332
Loc: Glenn Gould's Fuck Windmill
Last seen: 2 hours, 40 minutes
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: King Koopa]
#10856287 - 08/13/09 10:10 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
King Koopa said: a group of translators hired by King James I in the 1600's. I'm guessing it was translated from arabic???
Pris is quoting KJ
the original new testament is written in greek i believe,
arabic
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Nunbuh_Chrubble
I'm just a kittycat
Registered: 01/23/06
Posts: 3,534
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: twighead]
#10857214 - 08/14/09 12:58 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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The king james version is the hyper propagandized version.
One of the most notable differences is that the word that was properly translated as "Tyrant" was made to be written as "king" or something much less inflammatory.
-------------------- "This day is a lover..." ~Rumi
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muistrue
Inspired by the mystery
Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 12,899
Loc: Behind the Redwoods
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: Nunbuh_Chrubble]
#10857267 - 08/14/09 01:07 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Ezekiel 23:20 (New International Version) 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
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gzuf
٩(̾๏̮̮̃̾๏̃̾)۶
Registered: 07/13/09
Posts: 6,535
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: muistrue]
#10857291 - 08/14/09 01:11 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Leviticus 11:20-22 All flying insects that walk on all fours are to be detestable to you. There are, however, some winged creatures that walk on all fours that you may eat: those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground. Of these you may eat any kind of locust, katydid, cricket or grasshopper.
Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Exodus 21:20-21 If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property.
-------------------- +1 Post ٩(̾๏̮̮̃̾๏̃̾)۶
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captainm424
Expand or Collapse
Registered: 08/01/09
Posts: 145
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: gzuf]
#10857305 - 08/14/09 01:15 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Genesis 19:30-38
4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom--both young and old--surrounded the house. 5 They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them." 6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, "No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. 8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof."
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blewmeanie
Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 28,984
Loc:
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: muistrue]
#10857311 - 08/14/09 01:16 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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The book of wisdom, ch2 vs. 3 & 4
For haphazard were we born, and hereafter we shall be as though we had not been; Because the breath in our nostrils is a smoke and reason is a spark at the beating of our hearts,
And when this is quenched, our body will be ashes and our spirit will be poured abroad like unresisting air.
Ok, it's actually not creepy at all.
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the bizzle
the joke that no one spoke
Registered: 04/14/09
Posts: 11,870
Loc: :seriousbusiness:
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: gzuf]
#10857317 - 08/14/09 01:17 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
gzuf said: Leviticus 11:20-22 All flying insects that walk on all fours are to be detestable to you. There are, however, some winged creatures that walk on all fours that you may eat: those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground. Of these you may eat any kind of locust, katydid, cricket or grasshopper.
Insects walk on fours?
-------------------- MY HAIR IS A BIRD YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID
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The_Ghost
ゴースト
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 15,802
Loc: USG Ishimura
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: Learyfan]
#10857388 - 08/14/09 01:35 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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I like this thread
-------------------- / / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / / The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks. May His Circuits Ever Function
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Cactusdan
Patecatl
Registered: 10/11/07
Posts: 7,024
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: Prisoner#1]
#10857400 - 08/14/09 01:38 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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RupturedHernia
NOM NOM NOM'er.
Registered: 03/17/09
Posts: 11,887
Loc: :ɔoן
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: Prisoner#1]
#10857436 - 08/14/09 01:49 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said: 2 Kings 4
32 When Elisha reached the house, there was the boy lying dead on his couch. 33 He went in, shut the door on the two of them and prayed to the LORD. 34 Then he got on the bed and lay upon the boy, mouth to mouth, eyes to eyes, hands to hands. As he stretched himself out upon him, the boy's body grew warm. 35 Elisha turned away and walked back and forth in the room and then got on the bed and stretched out upon him once more. The boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes.
If muppet ever gets caught he can use that as a defense.
-------------------- Want to know who is ignoring you? Press Alt + F4 for the full list.
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Frost
Inside a locked room
Registered: 02/24/07
Posts: 5,947
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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Re: Post the creepiest bible quote you can find [Re: dr_gonz] 1
#10857442 - 08/14/09 01:50 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
dr_gonz said:
God is a wicked nigga
hahaha, /thead
-------------------- “I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I've been knocking from the inside.” - Rumi “The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” - Carl Sagan
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