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Offlinescreamphilling
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Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 212
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
my 1st pharma/ ayahuasca experience
    #9874243 - 02/27/09 02:17 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

2 days ago I endured my very first oral DMT trip.  Id call the experience horrifying, beautiful, and fucking mind blowing.  Overall it was a positive experience.

Ive done acid, mushrooms, and smoked DMT several times before.  I endured an ego-losing trip on 1/4 ounce of mushrooms and expected this to be similar in nature.  I haven't "broken through" on smoked dmt but Id seen nymphs, elves, and strange ethnic ancestral shadows.  Little did I know ....

I began preparing for this at 10:30am after being up for 5 hours.  Id woken up hung over from Fat Tuesday celebrations. I didn't think it was going to be the best mental circumstances to be in, but it was really the only guaranteed time Id have the house to myself for awhile.  I nursed the hangover and attempted to clear out my "3rd eye" with some mental exercise.  I also hadn't eaten in 12 hours. 

I brewed 4 grams of crushed Syrian rue seeds in a mixture of 200ml lemon juice and 400ml water for 20 minutes or so.  After cooling, I consumed it with a bit of sugar to make it palatable. (Later i would realize that 4g of Rue was a bit too much)

After noticeable onset of the Rue 30 minutes later I ate my DMT crystals. 

I really had no idea what the weight of the crystals was.  I was consuming the 1st pull from a naphtha extraction of 50grams really cheap, pre-shredded Mimosa.  The yield was really low and I didn't get much from subsequent pulls.  There was also a little bit leftover from a previous batch Id made and smoked.  I estimated my consumption to be around 100mg total or less.

I ate the crystals with cornbread washed down with orange juice.  I didn't quite successfully parachute the bread and the sensation in my mouth was terrible.  Word to the wise: don't get DMT crystals in your mouth.

The onset of the experience was uncomfortable.  My sense of balance became very off and the nausea worked its way up. 

The humming noise that Terrence Mckenna described in "True Hallucinations" began, only what seemed to be octaves lower.  I tried to replicate the noise with my throat and it made me feel very weird.  I started having these sensations of being trapped in a primate vocal system unable to express the noises I wanted to.  The lack of capabilities of my voice box became upsetting. 

My perception of everything seemed magnified several times.  refraction and reflection of sound, light, and air became so much more evident. 

I sat around watching my aquarium for awhile (appreciating the Amazonian beauty) and then the onset of the puking began.

I sat over my toilet projectile vomiting for a period of time.  The citrus flavored puke wasn't really that great.  I kept debating whether I felt the presence of an "other" at this point and asked it to help me vomit out the negativity inside of me.  I did actually puke after that.  In another session minutes later I decided I was the one in charge of my body and would have to fight the urges from then on. 

while hovered over the toilet I saw 2 gnomes/wizards in the fake marble patterns on my bathroom wall.  As I tried to figure out why they were there, I started philosophically spiraling downward and more negative.  They turned into skeletons.  I thought about my girlfriend and they turned into some sort of medieval love ceremony.  I was manipulating the scene as my thoughts changed. (later I realized the patterns on the wall the were in-fact very human-like shapes)

I finally got enough mental focus to realize I could stop standing over the toilet.

I lied down on the carpet of my bedroom for awhile with my eyes closed. 

The rest of the story becomes all too overwhelming to write out. 

I entered what seemed to be a world of pure imagination in my head.  All logic became visualized in my head in amazing ways. 

I had sensations of being in the womb as I struggled to get comfortable on my bed. I saw this very distinct image of my smiling grandmother back in her mid 20s.  Maybe I reached somewhere back in my DNA or maybe it was a spirit...maybe direct link-up to the "past".(if the concept of time is even valid)

All of these psychological phenomena started making way too much sense.  Fetishes were an example.  All of this mental conditioning from early in life.  I started thinking about other peoples reasoning way too much.

I don't know if there was ever a point of complete ego loss.  I'm very sure of some very schizophrenic things happening.  Some screaming/talking faces and whatnot.


At one point I played some Peruvian Icaros that I loaded onto my Ipod.  They weren't effective like being with a Shaman would've, but they did prove to be educational in learning about audio recordings and the actions and intentions of the shaman.  They captured the emotion in his voice but not the physical presence and manipulating that he delivered.

Much throughout the trip I listened to The Beatles.  They were really the only music I had with such a positive and cheery demeanor that I needed to keep from spiraling into a nightmare.  When I was able to get a better grasp on my thoughts and enjoy the trip more, I listened to some Jethro Tull and Squarepusher.

The manipulation of time that Squarepusher uses gave me some crazy insight.  I really could only bare 2 of his songs before it got too chaotic.  There was this shockwave-like "snap" experience of time going backwards.

I laid outside in the sun for awhile.  I figured that at least 3 hours had passed but it only turned out to be 40 minutes.  I thought alot about the universe, life, reality, parallel dimensions, atomic spin resonance, quantum physics, etc.... alot of McKennas theories on planetary "DNA seeding" and extraterrestrials. 

I can understand why he claims to be abducted while on mushrooms and ayahuasca.  Ive considered a similar endeavor but I'm in no way prepared for this.  Really I don't think anyone is. 

There was so much more to this trip but I'm still struggling to comprehend what happened.  Its an experience I cant really find comfort in sharing with anyone that I know.  Id like to drink ayahuasca with a Shaman oneday but I liked being able to observe it from my "own" perspective.

I think the hypertension from the 4 grams of Rue made the whole thing a bit uncomfortable and next time Ill definitely use less.  Id like to get ahold of some Caapi. 

I'm still baffled as to why I saw a tree elf in my aquarium when I smoked DMT.  I'm definitely going to study more about the animism and anthropomorphism of all of this.  Id like to know whether its a weird mental phenomenon or something more. 

I didn't learn all that I wanted to know from this great teacher, but I'm satisfied in learning that there is much more to reality than what my currently un-fulfilling life experiences.  I hope to shape my life around what I learned from this.


I'm definitely open to trying ayahuasca again in the future.  It has given me a new positive stride in my life.

Edited by screamphilling (03/12/09 01:56 AM)

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Offlineandrewss
precariously aggrandized


Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 8,725
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
Re: my 1st pharma/ ayahuasca experience [Re: screamphilling]
    #9885252 - 02/28/09 03:49 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Nice write up man, sounded like one hell of an experience. I've only smoked DMT, never done anything like pharmayahuasca . Anyway, nice story, DMT is fucking ridiculous and its pretty impossible to fully integrate such a crazy experience to sober thought process IMO, there is just something about that pure experience that is beyond me - its just so hard to reflect much on something like that when your normal frame of mind is not really equipped to. But yeah, its worthwhile in my opinion, I love what DMT has helped me see.

All that puking woulda probably scared me, heh :crazy2:


--------------------
Jesus loves you.

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OfflineN2O
Nitrous Expert
Male


Registered: 02/28/09
Posts: 54
Last seen: 14 years, 11 months
Re: my 1st pharma/ ayahuasca experience [Re: andrewss]
    #9892222 - 03/01/09 06:58 PM (15 years, 1 month ago)

This sounds insane. Nothing like anything I've ever done.
I've only had a small taste of DMT (a tiny bit was added to a bowl that I smoked with a friend). I remember an awful taste, and then an experience I could never quite integrate into my mind again, once sobered up.


--------------------
And if I say to you tomorrow,
Take my hand, child, come with me.
It's to a castle I will take you,
Where whats to be, they say will be.

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