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InvisibleLobsterSauceDiscord
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Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps
    #9824918 - 02/19/09 07:23 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps

Dear Kellogg’s,


I’m writing this letter to express my disappointment in your company in firing Michael Phelps as a spokesperson for your products because he was photographed while enjoying some marijuana.
I respectfully would like to communicate my opinion on this matter because I think it’s of great public interest.


First of all, although it is true that Mr. Phelps broke the law, I think any reasonably intelligent person would admit that it’s one of the most ****ed up and corrupt laws that we have today in this country. Marijuana is relatively harmless and certainly far less dangerous than a host of other things that are not only legal but also readily available, like alcohol and prescription drugs. The only reason it remains illegal to this day is because it’s a plant and you can’t patent it and control it’s sale, and because if it were legal it would greatly affect the demand for a host of prescription drugs that rake in billions of dollars each year for pharmaceutical companies.


That’s it.


Marijuana has never killed anyone EVER in over 10,000 years of use. We’re not protecting people from themselves, we’re not saving the children - it’s just a horribly illogical law that is in place because of corruption and propaganda.


The fact that it’s against the law is just a disgusting reminder of how retarded our system is, not a reasonable reaction to a proven threat to society.



I have to say, this whole thing saddens me, because I personally would like to think that as Americans we’re better than this. These television news anchors will shake their heads at the thoughtless mistake Mr. Phelps had made by “smoking dope,” and then without even the tiniest sense of irony they will cut to a beer commercial.


This is supposed to be the land of the free and the home of the brave, right? We’re not supposed to be a nation of little bitches giving in to the whims of corrupt politicians and the pharmaceutical companies who’s interests they’re representing.


It’s 2009, and in this day and age with the incredible access to information that we have available there’s no ****ing way that we should be allowing human beings to tell other human beings that they can’t do something that they enjoy that hurts no one including themselves.


THAT is madness. THAT is ignorant, and THAT is completely ****ing un-American.


I don’t want to hear any of that, “he’s setting a bad example with the children” nonsense either, because we all know if he had a gin and tonic in his hand instead of a bong this would never have been an issue, even though every single study ever done has shown that marijuana is FAR less dangerous than alcohol.


Marijuana laws are a horrible waste of resources and law enforcement, and especially in this day and age with our economy in such horrible shape I believe the last thing we need to be doing is wasting tax payers’ money on any of this victimless bullshit.



I find your reactions to Mr. Phelps situation both ignorant and short sighted.


I think what would have been a far better response from Kellogg’s would be to support Mr. Phelps, and perhaps point out that maybe we as a society should take a closer look at the evidence and possibly reconsider our position on this misunderstood plant that so many of our productive citizens find useful.


Now, I’m sure if you really were running Kellogg’s and you were still reading my bullshit all the way down to this, you must be thinking, “Why the hell would we stick our necks out like that for pot smokers?”

And of course the answer to that question would be, because we buy your shit, mother****er.


Do you guys even know your consumer statistics? Well, let me fill you in on some of my own personal scientific research on the subject, because I have been closely studying my own purchases for over 20 years, and I can tell you that I’ve been high 100% of the time I’ve bought your shit.


I mean, do you guys ever think about what you sell?


Pop tarts? Are you kidding me? I would be willing to bet that 50% of the people buying pop tarts are stoned out of their ****ing minds.


Just to be perfectly clear on my position, I would like you to know that I enjoy your products. I think many of them are quite tasty, but lets be honest; you guys sell sugar-drenched shit that’s horrible for your body - in fact, it’s actually way worse for your body than pot - and you market this shit specifically to children.


You ****s go as far as putting lovable cartoon characters on the boxes just so that kids will beg their parents for it.



Now, I don’t want you to misunderstand my point, because I in no way want anything bad to happen to your company. Like I said, I genuinely enjoy your products.


There’s nothing quite like being stoned out of your mind at 2am watching a Chuck Norris movie and eating a bowl of fruit loops. Your company and its products have been a part of some very pleasurable moments in guilty eating, and I’m glad you’re around.


All I’m saying is that it’s high time (no pun intended) that you mother****ers respect the stoner dollar. There’s WAY more of us than you might think, and we tend to get upset about dumb shit like this. There are millions of us, and if we decide that we don’t like a company, they’re going to feel it.


I think if you looked into it carefully, you would be surprised at how many undercover potheads there are out there. Pot smokers don’t all fit into the obvious, negative stereotypes; we come in all shapes and forms - including by the way, the form of the greatest ****ing swimmer who ever lived, EVER.
Think about THAT shit for a second..


So in closing, I would like to ask you nice folks to please smarten the **** up.


I would request that you check the calendar and note that it’s 2000 and ****ing 9, and next time you think about getting all uppity about pot you might want to do a quick google search on the facts.

It’s 4:40am here in LA, and I’m going to wrap up this blog and to celebrate its completion I’m going to enjoy one of my personal favorite Kellogg’s products: Eggo waffles.


I’m gonna pop 4 of them bitches into the toaster, and then I’m gonna stuff the bong with some fine, American grown “Train Wreck” and sacrifice the sacred plant to the fire gods in tribute to the unjustly persecuted 8 time Olympian hero. Then I’m gonna get some butter, and I’m gonna smear it on those Eggos, I’m gonna cover them with maple syrup, and I’m going to eat the ever loving **** out of them.


Good day, sirs.



Yours truly,



Joe Rogan.

http://www.collegeotr.com/college_otr/joe_rogans_open_letter_to_kellogs_re_michael_phelps_18806


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Offlinerossdaboss50
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #9824966 - 02/19/09 07:37 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Joe Rogan kicks ass.

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Offlinewolf fish
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Registered: 11/05/08
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #9825005 - 02/19/09 07:48 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

lol at the amount of people that are crying for phelps. i mean even he didnt do all this bitching when he got in trouble for breaking the law. kellogs had to do it not, any company would, its not even like they throw him under the bus they just droped him. they didnt make some claim that now because of phelps actions kids are no longer going to eat their ceral and then go on to sue phelps for a rediculous amount of money which they could have. they droped the conversation after they let him go. just because you dont agree with a law doesnt mean your not going to be punished for breaking it.

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Invisiblememes
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: wolf fish]
    #9825026 - 02/19/09 07:53 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I have always, and will always, love Joe Rogan.

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OfflineApJunkie
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #9825060 - 02/19/09 08:01 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

such an unimpressive letter. Joe Rogan has the persuasive argument skills of a highschool linebacker. He opens the very first line by saying he would like to "respectfully communicate" his opinion, and then immediately launches into an emotional tirade ripe with swearing.
When making a public statement to a large multinational company using the word "respect" sets a standard of eloquence that he did a very poor job adhering too. IMO he just sounds like a whiny kid at the store who can't eat the candy he wants to.

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OfflineSyle
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: ApJunkie]
    #9825119 - 02/19/09 08:23 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ApJunkie said:
such an unimpressive letter. Joe Rogan has the persuasive argument skills of a highschool linebacker. He opens the very first line by saying he would like to "respectfully communicate" his opinion, and then immediately launches into an emotional tirade ripe with swearing.
When making a public statement to a large multinational company using the word "respect" sets a standard of eloquence that he did a very poor job adhering too. IMO he just sounds like a whiny kid at the store who can't eat the candy he wants to.




while i agree with what he said in the article, i agree with you that is was pretty immature.


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https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!

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Offlinebadphish
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: Syle]
    #9825132 - 02/19/09 08:25 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

He's a comedian and it was probably more for his blog the for Kelloggs. It's supposed to be funny and disrespectful. It's not like if he was respectful Kelloggs would pick Phelps back up.


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The oval office and the lobby probably listen to Fugazi,
singin' "this one's ours lets take another",
and then they dance away clean like Savion Glover.

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Offlinetoday mylove
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: badphish]
    #9825156 - 02/19/09 08:29 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

yeah seriously
hes trying to be funny derr
i got a kick outta that

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Offlineteaparty
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: badphish]
    #9825164 - 02/19/09 08:31 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

even though i agree with his opinion, joe rogan is still a dunce.


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I'm so ahead of my time, my parents haven't met yet.

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OfflineRocker232
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: teaparty]
    #9825169 - 02/19/09 08:33 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Once again, Joe Rogan owns.


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With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes

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OfflineKing Koopa
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: badphish]
    #9825174 - 02/19/09 08:34 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I think if you looked into it carefully, you would be surprised at how many undercover potheads there are out there. Pot smokers don’t all fit into the obvious, negative stereotypes; we come in all shapes and forms - including by the way, the form of the greatest ****ing swimmer who ever lived, EVER.
Think about THAT shit for a second..




lol


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OfflineAlmond Flour
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: King Koopa]
    #9825197 - 02/19/09 08:41 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Joe Rogan is cool and all. But he preaches the "Word of Psychedelics" WAYYYYYYYY to strongly. And a 1 sided extreme on any argument, never helps a cause. By the way in which he talks about the psychedelic experience, people of higher authority will just take him for another dope smoking hippie who has fried himself on illegal drugs. And considering how much money he has, and his celebrity status....he has the power to really make an impact on legalization.

But as of now, he really isnt doing anything unique that hasnt already been said. I stopped reading half way through because he has already said what millions of others, including scientists, have said. Why should I take him seriously compared to them? Because I enjoyed Fear Factor? :lol:


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Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:

Edited by Almond Flour (02/19/09 08:43 AM)

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OfflineRocker232
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: Almond Flour]
    #9825237 - 02/19/09 08:52 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Tea said:
Joe Rogan is cool and all. But he preaches the "Word of Psychedelics" WAYYYYYYYY to strongly. And a 1 sided extreme on any argument, never helps a cause. By the way in which he talks about the psychedelic experience, people of higher authority will just take him for another dope smoking hippie who has fried himself on illegal drugs. And considering how much money he has, and his celebrity status....he has the power to really make an impact on legalization.

But as of now, he really isnt doing anything unique that hasnt already been said. I stopped reading half way through because he has already said what millions of others, including scientists, have said. Why should I take him seriously compared to them? Because I enjoyed Fear Factor? :lol:




I will admit that he has money, but I don't see how Rogan has any major "pull"...


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With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes

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Invisiblememes
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: ApJunkie]
    #9825247 - 02/19/09 08:58 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ApJunkie said:
such an unimpressive letter. Joe Rogan has the persuasive argument skills of a highschool linebacker. He opens the very first line by saying he would like to "respectfully communicate" his opinion, and then immediately launches into an emotional tirade ripe with swearing.
When making a public statement to a large multinational company using the word "respect" sets a standard of eloquence that he did a very poor job adhering too. IMO he just sounds like a whiny kid at the store who can't eat the candy he wants to.



Did ya read it all the way through?  He posted that shit at 4:30 a.m. stoned as shit.  I wouldn't expect anything better from anyone at such an hour, in such a state.

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OfflineRocker232
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: memes]
    #9825257 - 02/19/09 09:02 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

meams said:
Quote:

ApJunkie said:
such an unimpressive letter. Joe Rogan has the persuasive argument skills of a highschool linebacker. He opens the very first line by saying he would like to "respectfully communicate" his opinion, and then immediately launches into an emotional tirade ripe with swearing.
When making a public statement to a large multinational company using the word "respect" sets a standard of eloquence that he did a very poor job adhering too. IMO he just sounds like a whiny kid at the store who can't eat the candy he wants to.



Did ya read it all the way through?  He posted that shit at 4:30 a.m. stoned as shit.  I wouldn't expect anything better from anyone at such an hour, in such a state.




Well that's an easy one to solve dude, he should have waited. That is if you think he "fucked up". I think Rogan is trying to be Joe Rogan, he's funny and he's to the point. Its not as if he wrote it thinking he'd be pioneering the legalization of Marijuana.


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With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes

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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #9825279 - 02/19/09 09:08 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

IT IS ALL OVER!!


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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OfflineRocker232
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #9825298 - 02/19/09 09:13 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Joe Rogan should just walk into congress tripping balls and start to strangle them all to death. Hopefully he can use his Carlos Mencia slave (as Rogan stole and owns his soul).


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With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes

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OfflinePigasus
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: Rocker232]
    #9825299 - 02/19/09 09:14 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

I remember when I first heard him talking about DMT I was like wait...this shitty comedian that hosts fear factor is a psychonaut? :eek:


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InvisibleVirus_with_Shoes
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: rossdaboss50]
    #9825303 - 02/19/09 09:15 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rossdaboss50 said:
Joe Rogan kicks ass.




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Offline13eetleJuice
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Re: Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #9825390 - 02/19/09 09:36 AM (15 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Jimtown said:
Joe Rogan's Open Letter to Kelloggs Re: Michael Phelps

Dear Kellogg’s,

Respectfully, fuck you!

Good day, sirs.

Yours truly,

Joe Rogan.




He just said the same thing we've all been saying around the "water cooler".

Joe Rogan is real people and you guys give him shit for not being the Martin Luther King of Marijuana; or the Gandhi of Ganja.

Tsk, everyone's a critic.


What are YOU doing to help the movement?


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