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 Syle
Stranger
 
Registered: 10/16/05
Posts: 6,486
Loc: PNW/USA
Last seen: 29 days, 5 hours
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 My girlfriend is severely depressed... 
#9408412 - 12/10/08 05:45 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am not sure what to do. She and I are in our early-mid 20s (23 and 25 respectively). We both recently attained new jobs. She has a pretty serious seizure disorder, one that inhibits her ability to take a bath, or to drive or do things which might endanger her life.
Recently she has just been devoid of all happiness and I can't figure it out. Just yesterday she broke down and started crying and confided in me that she was severely depressed and to quote her "didn't like anything about herself". I tried to make clear to her all the reasons she makes me the happiest person in the world, but somehow I felt like she wasn't really soaking it in.
I am happy that she at least talked to me about it, because up until yesterday, I noticed for about a month now that she has become more and more depressed and distant. Basically I am just looking for some help in ways to approach the situation. I don't want to start babying her because that isn't what she wants. I know the process will be slow in helping her hash out everything she needs to deal with, but I don't want to take the situation lightly either and witness her get worse......and god forbid, do something terrible...which I won't utter here.
Anyways, any and all help is appreciated. I know medication is always an option, and I am sure she has thought of it as well, but it would be wonderful and empowering for her if she could deal with this through communication and action.
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Prof. Astro
acirebma
Registered: 04/15/08
Posts: 4,082
Last seen: 4 months, 29 days
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 Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: Syle]
#9408626 - 12/10/08 06:14 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Not much you can do, it will strain your relationship with her and could lead to her leaving or you due to the stress, stick it out if you can. Take her to a mental health facility/doctor.
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jenns_hot
Hungry
Registered: 12/30/06
Posts: 3,457
Loc: East Coast 
Last seen: 1 month, 8 hours
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Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: Prof. Astro]
#9409204 - 12/10/08 07:38 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's rough. It was exactly this time last year, within a week, that my ex said the same thing. Maybe it's being brought on by the cold weather? A lot of people have serious psychological reactions to changes in weather, myself included. You guys could see a doctor, or a psychiatrist, or both. If it is SAD (seasonal affective disorder), you could take an SSRI for a short time (zoloft works best for my mom), or I also hear that you can buy a special light that gives off UV rays and works wonders at cheering people up. Or maybe you guys just need a really fun, special vacation.
Is she doing a lot of work around the house, when you could be helping out? Maybe she just doesn't feel appreciated, or wants some reassurance that you are willing to spend time and effort doing something special for her.
Anyway, there are tons of reasons that she could be feeling like this, but a lot of things that you could do to cheer her up. Make her dinner, clean the house, go on a vacation, snuggle up with her, etc...
Hopefully you guys can get past this rough patch. Good luck!
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"Fear makes the wolf look bigger"
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 Neon
Stranger
Registered: 01/04/05
Posts: 497
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Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: Syle]
#9409215 - 12/10/08 07:41 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Did she change seizure medication lately? Many of them are powerful sedatives and could possibly cause depression.
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MustNotBe
HPPDer
Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 912
Loc: BrewCity
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: Neon]
#9409367 - 12/10/08 08:11 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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depression is pretty tough to work through.
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Junkies United we stand , Devided we're sick as fuck.
- - -
"Hallucinations are something heroin users are not at all accustomed to," said Const. Conor King, Victoria police drug expert. "They react like you or I would react if we took Aspirin and all of a sudden the TV got up and started walking across the room."
- - -
Make drugs legal, or alcohol and tobacco illegal. Either way it's more fair.
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Cannashroom
Smoke two Joints
Registered: 10/25/07
Posts: 1,757
Loc: Everywhere
Last seen: 19 hours, 10 minutes
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Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: MustNotBe]
#9409716 - 12/10/08 09:20 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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I would say Nutrition is really key to helping with recovery. Make sure she is getting all the vitamins, minerals and taking a good fish Omega-3, which helps depression. I would say that also tripping can help relieve depression, if done correctly of course.
A poor diet can easily cause depression, despite what a lot of doctors will try to tell you. I hate pharmaceuticals, and would recommend against them, look for alternative treatments, don't cover up the symptoms and become a zombie.
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"A human being is part of the whole, called by us 'Universe'; a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest -- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.
This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest us.
Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty.
Nobody is able to achieve this completely but striving for such achievement is, in itself, a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security."
Albert Einstein
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Syle
Stranger
Registered: 10/16/05
Posts: 6,486
Loc: PNW/USA
Last seen: 29 days, 5 hours
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Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: Cannashroom]
#9410079 - 12/10/08 10:26 PM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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holy crap, all excellent points and quite appropriate to my/her situation.
jenns_hot:
we aren't living together right now. i am pursuing music while also working a day job and i live in the house with all the musicians, while she lives at home with her parents. BUT, she has gotten an apartment closer to her work (for traveling purposes since she can't drive). we have openly discussed how our living situation is not ideal, and our time spent together is not ideal, and i think this could be a large portion of the problems that she is seeing. we are going to be talking further about this soon. i also think SAD could be affecting her some too. her dad is influenced heavily by SAD and he actually has one of those UV lights you mentioned. i was thinking of bringing this up with her as well. also, i think it needs to be made clear that this isn't a rough patch BETWEEN she and i; there aren't really any issues between us, if that makes sense. she has told me through tears that she doesn't want her horrible thoughts and feelings and sickness to come between us, and i made clear to her that i 100% understand her situation and will be by her side the whole time while she works through this, and that i would never abandon her in her time of need.
Neon:
yes actually she did change meds recently. 1 of the 3 different seizure meds she is on was giving her some incredibly crazy/bi-polar-esque symptoms and she could personally feel the bizarre effects of that drug, so she went off it immediately. but that could definitely be 1 of many culprits here.
Cannashroom:
i agree 100%. and ironically enough, her diet is TERRIBLE. she weighs close to 90 lbs (she is 5' tall), and rarely has an appetite for anything. her meds really mess her diet and appetite up, and her parents and myself included really try to make sure she eats enough. but, in my opinion, she can never eat enough...and sometimes she gets really snappy whenever i try to pressure her into eating more. i sometimes think she has a minor eating disorder coupled with these effects of meds, and that is making a really bad combo for her.
tripping is out of the question for her, as one never knows whether psych/alcohol/weed/etc can induce more and heavier seizures.
Quote:
A poor diet can easily cause depression, despite what a lot of doctors will try to tell you. I hate pharmaceuticals, and would recommend against them, look for alternative treatments, don't cover up the symptoms and become a zombie.
 i also would love to see her avoid that at all costs...
thanks for the help all, i really appreciate it. i talked with her today, and she already seems a little better just from us communicating a little more/better. i just wish i could recommend certain things to her without her taking offense so easily (diet, exercise, etc). i cannot tell if it's just her sensitive "state" causing her to get really defensive or if she is truly getting angry with me for some bizarre/illogical reason.
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sunflower
We're here....
Registered: 08/19/06
Posts: 551
Last seen: 2 days, 12 hours
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Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: Syle]
#9411104 - 12/11/08 04:17 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Does she get out and exercise every day? I know she is thin, but this might cause her appetite to kick in. I also know from experience, that if I am feeling down, if I exercise I feel better, (joyful even). Get her to go on a walk with you everyday. It will also be a nice time for you to talk and just be together and I bet it will help with her depression.
Ohhh and the idea that Jenns had about taking her on a little vacation is great. 
Best of luck to you both. I hope she learns to be happy 
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Seuss
Error: divide byzero
Registered: 04/27/01
Posts: 23,193
Loc: Caribbean
Last seen: 22 hours, 38 minutes
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Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: sunflower]
#9411150 - 12/11/08 04:47 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am a firm believer in the 'winter blues' due to lack of sunlight. Do some digging on "Seasonal affective disorder" for details. Light therapy is easy, fairly cheap, and has been shown to be effective.
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Just another spore in the wind.
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Cannashroom
Smoke two Joints
Registered: 10/25/07
Posts: 1,757
Loc: Everywhere
Last seen: 19 hours, 10 minutes
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Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: Seuss]
#9412124 - 12/11/08 10:07 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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Suess is totally right! You can go for "sunlight showers" they are like 3 minute tanning salons which give you a huge extra boost of vitamin D! I agree 100% if she goes for 3 minutes in a tanning thing, 3 times a week she will feel a lot better, Vitamin D is one of the most important things to have in your body.
Try to get her to eat fruit and veggie smoothies or FRESH juice, they will really help with vitamins and minerals. Not eating enough, especially if what you do eat is not densely nutritious, then you're in for a problem. If she changed her diet and got sunlight, and support of course I think she could become a lot better.
In my opinion is she changed her diet enough, she could easily drop the depression and improve with seizures as well.
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"A human being is part of the whole, called by us 'Universe'; a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest -- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.
This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest us.
Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty.
Nobody is able to achieve this completely but striving for such achievement is, in itself, a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security."
Albert Einstein
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ZippoZ
Knomadic
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 12,096
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
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Re: My girlfriend is severely depressed... [Re: Cannashroom]
#9412148 - 12/11/08 10:13 AM (3 years, 5 months ago) |
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talking about it will defenatly help the situation, sometimes these things and feelings build up on their own fear of themselves. I used to date a girl that was bi-polar, and it was very straining on our relationship.
however depression is different. I suppose that the best thing you can do, is let her know that you understand (or do your best to) and that you will always be there for her. A loving trusting relationship can really kick depressions ass
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PEACE
 zippoz
"in times of widespread chaos and cofusion, it has ben the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m anagment, too much programming and controll, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"
"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."
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