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Anonymous #1
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 Need advice on a friend 
#8903455 - 09/09/08 08:08 PM (4 years, 8 months ago) |
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A few years back me and my friend started experimenting with weed. Like any two rebellious kids, we had a shit load of good times hanging out, and tons of memories that will stay with me forever and memories that have molded my life to who I am today. We soon started experimenting in psychedelics, despite having extreme lack or connections in the area we live in.
But then my friend developed schizophrenia, and constantly bugged me and talked shit about me to my face and my/his other friends. The cause of the skizo was no doubt from all of the bad experimentation he has done (i leave that said vaguely) with drugs. Well, he soon slightly recovered, abusing his benzo medication while at it. And then it all went downhill...
He was never really the same. I couldn't hang with him without him being high on whatever and anything he could get his hands on. He wasn't funny anymore, just burned out. I knew if he stopped everything, we could be the same again. But no matter how much I reasoned with him, he always came up with very ignorant excuses. He's always high around his parents and he uses his skizo as his excuse to acting or looking weird. I don't remember the last time I saw him completely sober.
It bothers me that doing drugs is his number one priority. When I invited him over my friends house, the FIRST thing he did (without asking) is he went through my friend's medicine cabinets and took some painkillers. And that night, he was screaming outside and almost got us in trouble. He took 5-7 drugs all at once.
He's losing a lot of his friends because they just don't want to deal with him. And although we've been through so much together, I feel like I'm in the same position. I - really don't want to be friends with him anymore. I try reasoning and tell him that he has to stop but he doesn't listen. He just complains about how much life sucks and how he has to do drugs to numb out life. He just complains and acts like a dick to me when I try to help him out. But I really don't want to put forth effort to help him anymore, even if he WANTS the help now. I'm just starting to give up and slowly starting to distance myself from him.
So... I don't know what to do. And I'm looking for some advice.
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Anonymous #2
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Well it seems like he's pulling you down as a person. Although you guys are great friends and have been through a lot together -- it's not your job to put him on the right track. He seems young...from what I got out of your post he still lives with his parents? Life sucks? GIVE ME A BREAK!
I assume he has an addiction problem and has no idea how to control it. Just be there for him when he needs it. Have you talked to him about how he's been acting and how he hasn't been the same? That's all you can do. Nothing else. Just be honest and let him know his decisions with life are holding you back from enjoying life to it's fullest potential and if he can't get a hold of himself you won't be hanging out as much as you used to.
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Anonymous #3
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Tell his parents about all this bullshit.
Tell him he's fucked up all the time and uses the schizophrenia as an excuse to cover his fucked-uppedness.
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Anonymous #4
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I've watched/watching friends go downhill through to drug abuse. Tell him what you think, good chance he will tell you to fuck off and either never talk to you again, or after a while he'll realize what he has done.
I am getting re-acquainted with a girl I used to be good friends with. She had Bi-Polar, but most of the time she was fine. Until she started using Ecstasy every week end.
She called me one day asking if I could give her a lift to party I was already planning on driving to, saying she had taken X the night before and was a bit scattered to drive, so I said fine and we went to the party. I had a good night, and every one noticed how with-drawn she was, and tried including her into the conversation many-a-times.
After a few hours we drove home and I dropped her at her door wishing her a good night.
Not even 5 minutes later I received a call from her dad, saying that she was extremely upset and angry with the way I treated her. Baffled I sent her a msg asking what I had said or done to upset her so bad, she sent back a msg saying she hated me and never wanted to see me again.
She called me 8months later, saying she would like to catch up and she had made a bad choice that night.
So it may take a while, but sometimes people need to loose it all before they realize what they had.
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Anonymous #1
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OP here.
I have told him that he has changed a lot but he said that was because of his other medication. And if I tell him that again he'll say the same excuse that he's "trying" to recover from his skizo/bipolar. Whether that is actually true or not, he still shows no effort to getting better (Hence the excuse to be more mad at him even for his medication). I plan on telling him next time he calls me (he moved out of town and visits occasionally), but this time I will be WAY more straightforward and won't make small hints as to what I'm trying to get at. Sometimes he calls me a lot and tries to maintain the long distant relationship while he is away, and sometimes it will be a week before I hear from him again because he goes out on drug binges so I don't here from him for a while. He is also bipolar but he doesn't really have mood swings that I've seen.
I've thought about telling his dad about it but it doesn't seem like the brightest idea. I would be VERY mad if he told my parents if I was in his situation. Plus if I tell his dad he won't come and visit anymore - his dad is a bitch and he lives with his mom in another state for 90% of the year. Plus all they would do is call the cops on him or drug test him, and there's plenty of other drugs he's aware of that people don't test for.
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Anonymous #5
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very odd, this sounds so much like my own relationship with my former best friend. he is also schizo/bi-polar and acted VERY much like your friend.
heres a few thing i noticed from my (VERY similar experience)
1. people who are bi-polar act like ultra ass holes very often. I believe they do this because they are so fucking numb (from the meds) all the time that they try to find some way of feeling emotion, so they either hurt others or themselves in an attempt to FEEL. you can either accept that your friend is basically 'nuts' and will probably always be like this, or you can move on to new friends.
2. they dont give a shit about who they hurt, and destroying the lives of people around them (especially loved ones) becomes enjoyable to them, and with no remorse. so you cannot expect him to apologize for his actions, and should again either accept it or move on.
3. taking so many drugs (and strong ones at that) can improve his mental state, but if his doctor has him on the wrong meds and/or doses he will become much worse. this sounds like the case with your friend. this is how it was when my friend was first diagnosed, his meds were all wrong and he attempted suicide 4 times before they finally found the right drugs/doses for him. after that he became a zombie though, and would avoid taking his pills for days on end to feel normal again, but then he feel really really shitty and take ALL the meds he had skipped, all at once.
NOTE: i put up with MY friend in this mental state for years, but sadly after being terribly betrayed by him i ended the relationship forever. he continues to this day doing the same thing, hurting people and himself.
SOOO you must decide if your friendship is worth it or just let him go and move on. Please remember though, these bi-polar folks lack the ability to feel pain/sympathy, so don't end the relationship with a long arguement of how much of an ass hole he is. he could care less what you say/think about him, and this will only affect YOU negatively.
i wish you the very best of luck!
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Anonymous #5
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oops i left this out...
if you still have it in you to try and help, perhaps you could call his mom/dad and talk to them about his meds. i would talk to them seriously about re-evaluating the meds he is on, because it sounds like they are failing to help him at all. maybe even talk to your friend about his meds, and suggest that he could feel much better if he was on the proper medication, this might appeal to him.
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Anonymous #6
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One thing you have to get into your head is life isnt all its cracked up to be, not in this technocratic world atleast.
Drugs are a good way to numb out all the fuck tards out there who are controlling you.
"You"... youre not a free man at all and you never will be.
Some lucky fucks realise this young and either kill themselves or block it all out with drugs and wait for something fix itself.
How about, your the bad person for not doing all the drugs he does.
Just fuck him off if youre sick of his shit, wouldnt want him to hold you back now would you? youre the selfish prick here
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Anonymous #7
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darwinism.
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Anonymous #8
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He's schizo. Waking consciousness must be agony.
Until you've had a serious mental disorder, you don't know what this guy's going through. If it bothers you just leave him alone. He's miserable and there's really nothing anybody, including doctors and specialists, can do to help him.
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Anonymous #9
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.
Edited by Anonymous (03/19/09 06:43 PM)
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Anonymous #10
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It sounds like he doesn't want to come to terms with the fact that he has a disease so he is trying to escape through self medication. The kid needs help.
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Anonymous #11
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Suggest a inpatient rehab in another state to his parents. Itll change his routine take him out of the same environment and make him focus on his drug abuse
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Anonymous #12
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Last friend I had like that (and I've had plenty that all ended up about the same way) he wound up in a coma for 3 months after getting his dumbass in a car wreck after mixing alcohol and benzos. Benzos are bad news kids.
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