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 badlydrawnboy
Composer
Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 235
Loc: Great State, PA
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 Fuck Withdrawal !!
#8425676 - 05/20/08 07:53 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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i spent the last five days sweating my bed through and trying to stay upright and think straight and finally relapsed this morning and took the klonopin. i was tapering and doing it proper, i've been on it too long.
even when i do get off it, i'm going to try again right away, then i'll just need it. it's not just getting off it, it's staying off it. 5 years i've been on this shit and now my dosage is four times higher than when i started it.
i can't get free from it. when i took it this morning - my full dose - i finally slept but before it was like life and all the energy i'd lost just came back in my body. i started spitting in my bed and laughing and being stupid. horrible drugs. i'd rather be an alcoholic, you know that? and i'm sure i will be if i ever do get off this shit because that's what it's going to take to keep me off these pills.
so now i start again tomorrow and taper and begin an uneventful day of headaches with dizziness and insomnia and chills/sweats, blurred vision, sensitive hearing, mental confussion like hell and tremors and itchy/tingling skin and strange brain zaps like lightning just struck me.
noose around the headstone...
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=492766
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In(di)go
EcuadorianUnhippieManwhore
 
Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 7,280
Loc: Cologne, GERMany
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fuck, dude... i wish you the best of luck! positive vibes are going your way...
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 Coaster
ChemicalResearcher
Registered: 05/22/06
Posts: 11,482
Loc: La La Land
Last seen: 7 minutes, 49 seconds
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 Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: In(di)go]
#8425697 - 05/20/08 07:57 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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hey man only 4x the dose after 5 years thats not bad
smoke weed man it helps!
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 Tangerines
iz
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 11,890
Loc: C-Town/Cbus
Last seen: 2 days, 2 hours
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Everytime you crave the drug burn your hand. It is so primal, it just might work.
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'88 till infinity...
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Ripple
Tangled up inBlue
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 20,527
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Last seen: 1 day, 22 hours
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PM me if you like I have a bit of experience in dealing with addiction.
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Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,
If your cup is full may it be again
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badlydrawnboy
Composer
Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 235
Loc: Great State, PA
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Coaster]
#8425723 - 05/20/08 08:02 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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Quote:
Coaster said:
hey man only 4x the dose after 5 years thats not bad
smoke weed man it helps!
if i had some. yes, it'd be much easier. alcohol has to suffice
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=492766
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Coaster
ChemicalResearcher
Registered: 05/22/06
Posts: 11,482
Loc: La La Land
Last seen: 7 minutes, 49 seconds
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ya i remeber back in the day when i took a weed tolerance break and all i did was jus get trashed on vodka
substitute drugs do work
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FunGuyFan
chowchow
Registered: 02/28/03
Posts: 903
Loc: Hack Hack Cough Cough
Last seen: 3 hours, 16 minutes
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Coaster]
#8425756 - 05/20/08 08:11 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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Man that sucks
good luck
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2FiNiTe
ConsideratlyKilling Me
Registered: 06/12/06
Posts: 1,566
Loc: New England
Last seen: 1 month, 4 days
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Actually what your experiencing is pretty close to what an alcoholic would feel. I believe benzo's are a type of alcohol aren't they? They told me that in rehab anyway  Probably one of the many lies.
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"Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war that we know about peace, more about killing that we know about living."
General Omar N. Bradley
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Innominate
Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 2,077
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Every once in a while someone will make a post about benzo addiction and I always have to chime in. I'm in the same boat man. I finally got rid of my connects and only have 5mg xanax left. I've been not taking any for the last 5 days or so and I don't fall asleep until like 4am. I literally lie in bed for hours tossing and turning.
Don't diss alcohol though it will help take the edge off, but it's never good to substitute one thing with another, that will just lead you to addiction again.
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Ripple
Tangled up inBlue
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 20,527
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Last seen: 1 day, 22 hours
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Innominate]
#8425827 - 05/20/08 08:23 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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I assume you mean .5 mg Xanax?
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Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,
If your cup is full may it be again
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sublime40oz
Traveler
Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 1,750
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 1 month, 19 days
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Innominate]
#8425830 - 05/20/08 08:23 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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Best of luck to you man. Stay strong you can make it! 
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Beyond the gray sky
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Innominate
Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 2,077
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Ripple]
#8425837 - 05/20/08 08:24 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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Quote:
Ripple said:
I assume you mean .5 mg Xanax?
No. Being addicted to xanax I think I'd know what I have. 2 and a half bars exactly.
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Ripple
Tangled up inBlue
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 20,527
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Last seen: 1 day, 22 hours
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Innominate]
#8425852 - 05/20/08 08:29 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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OIC I misread your post, so you're sitting on one medium sized dose and have nothing left?
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Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,
If your cup is full may it be again
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Innominate
Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 2,077
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Ripple]
#8425867 - 05/20/08 08:31 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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Yeah. I'm saving it in case I go into seizures.
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misterdogman
Educationalresearcher ofthe Shroom
Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 641
Loc: International Waters in a...
Last seen: 22 days, 22 hours
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Quote:
badlydrawnboy said:
i spent the last five days sweating my bed through and trying to stay upright and think straight and finally relapsed this morning and took the klonopin. i was tapering and doing it proper, i've been on it too long.
even when i do get off it, i'm going to try again right away, then i'll just need it. it's not just getting off it, it's staying off it. 5 years i've been on this shit and now my dosage is four times higher than when i started it.
i can't get free from it. when i took it this morning - my full dose - i finally slept but before it was like life and all the energy i'd lost just came back in my body. i started spitting in my bed and laughing and being stupid. horrible drugs. i'd rather be an alcoholic, you know that? and i'm sure i will be if i ever do get off this shit because that's what it's going to take to keep me off these pills.
so now i start again tomorrow and taper and begin an uneventful day of headaches with dizziness and insomnia and chills/sweats, blurred vision, sensitive hearing, mental confussion like hell and tremors and itchy/tingling skin and strange brain zaps like lightning just struck me.
noose around the headstone...
wait til you graduate to going to a farm store and buying 16 gauge needles for pigs to try and shove badly extracted morphine from SR pills into your vein....
then coming down after passing out daily, into a near coma,... after a month or two of that shit coursing thru you... and then having to handcuff yourself to a table to get away from the pain and chills and heat and depletion and hate and love and sleep and anxiety and insomnia and wanting to die because your so hungry but cant fucking EAT or SHIT or MOVE or find any comfort...
just because its gone.....
Then youll have some problems...
you gotta get over it man your not too deep YET. Just use your mind and realise what your doing to yourself unless your retarded...
Youll either get over it when your brain takes over and saves you... or youll die.
only you can decide.. nobody else can save you.
but I have been there and thats all I can offer you, either you will win or a substance will, you can learn to use and not get addicted,.. just try to lose other stresses that are making you do this with a substance...just to leave reality, and stress is behind it because thats probably why your doing it
I do hope you win tho because if you dont....?
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While driving my overpowered car around tight corners like a maniac all my friends yell out. Hey man slow down, we might Wreck. I reply, Shut up, I drive like Dale Earnhardt. They all look around at each other and laugh. Then one asks me. Hey wait, isnt he dead? Well yeah he is I said. Then I drive like Junior I mumble, while I promptly slow down.
"Everyday is opposite day. Everything I say is opposite of what you think I am saying. So if I say something and you think I mean one thing it is the opposite of what I am really trying to say. I actually mean another thing other than what you are thinking I am saying. Get it? Good because that's what I meant".
"You may defeat me, you may even destroy me, But you will never CONQUER me"!
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Ripple
Tangled up inBlue
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 20,527
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Last seen: 1 day, 22 hours
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Innominate]
#8425889 - 05/20/08 08:35 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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I hear ya.......I agree some nice red wine helps a bit.
I was at the point where 8 mg of xanax did nothing but help me sleep at one point. Now I rarely use it.
I do however drink a lot of wine
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Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,
If your cup is full may it be again
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Kid_Orgo
is a fieldstone shithouse
Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 3,494
Loc: Northeast US
Last seen: 8 days, 16 hours
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Innominate]
#8425907 - 05/20/08 08:39 PM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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If you don't have a seizure (I'd say check with a doctor to see if that would have happened already) those pills will be enough to throw you right off the wagon.
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He was a cowboy in one of the seven days a week fights. No business, no hangout; no friends, nothing; just what you pick up and what you need.
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badlydrawnboy
Composer
Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 235
Loc: Great State, PA
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Re: Fuck Withdrawal !! [Re: Kid_Orgo]
#8427145 - 05/21/08 02:01 AM (3 months, 16 days ago) |
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fuck it, i just dosed. if they want to keep refilling me, so be it. i don't have the willpower to stop and no one's telling me to. it's been by my own accord to quit, i'm done trying.
cheers to a life of doped tranquility 
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_/\__/\/\__/\_/\_/\_/\/\_/\_/\/\_/\__/\__/\__/\/\__/\_/\
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=492766
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cappincrunk
Cock Mobster
Registered: 01/19/06
Posts: 516
Loc: A Geographical oddity
Last seen: 23 days, 6 hours
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You can't just give up like that bro. Thats the easy way out. Even tho you only know me by the words I type on the screen, I'm still someone on this Earth thats taking time to read this and all I can say is... I care. Please stop for your sake. Please man. I'm here, we're all here for you.
 SHROOMERY
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It's a porn utopia
A cornucopia of warm fallopia
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