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 Grapefruit
Stranger
Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 343
Last seen: 8 hours, 11 minutes
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 Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word.
#8406182 - 05/15/08 05:33 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Well what a week it's been what can i say. From severe anxiety depression and depersonalisation. To none of this. I've had so many beliefs i don't know where to begin.
From never thinking there was god, to actually seeing and feeling i was god/one. Never ever expected that. I saw it as so real. Then i saw it as emptiness after that, I also saw that as real.
I wanted to apologize for thinking i'd come to any correct conclusions.
Emptiness, Oneness, Ego? Who the hell knows what's right. It sure isn't me. People who say the know the truth are almost always lying, to themselves or everyone else.
I doubt anyone can every come to truly correct conclusions.
Maybe that in the doing of searching for the truth we are just getting further and further from it. When i thought i'd lost my ego, that was when it was at it's largest.
Maybe by intellectualizing egolessness, emptiness or ego we are just getting further and further into ego. When you think you have no ego, your mind might be just playing tricks on you and really you have the largest ego of all.
Eventually you just end up trying to be bigger than god. When really it's all just your mind playing tricks on you. So is ego, self-image it's probably false too.
So if you do something and your ego gets really big and you feel anger or self-importance. Then what? Well in my opinion it's just about saying "Hey! You know what? Tommorrow's another day."
You dont have to have Ego, Oneness or Emptiness to feel peace without fear or doubt or insecurities. The mind is a powerful tool, you can bend it to your will, do whatever you want with it. It's free to be yours.
Really letting go? In my opinion? More about not caring if you show a lot of ego and become rash or you show too much harmony and compassion and end up losing out on things.
More about realizing you can't come to any real conclusions. So why try? Just enjoy life for what it is, uncertain and fun.
Ego, Oneness, Emptiness? They can all be felt with validity, all products of the mind. Really though? I don't think there's any point in any of them. We just go over them all thinking about and intellectualizing all of them when you can never arrive at any certain truth, real peace is found when you stop perciving any truth in your mind. When we just give up. Stop mulling over things that just get boring after a while and accept that we dont know. We never can or will.
I still have peace, unconditional love and joy. You need to look to find enlightenment to find these things. Enlightenment is still just a whole lot of bollocks, no one can know something, no one can find truth.
So for all the above reasons im gonna stop discussing truths of life on this forum and with my mates and just apologize for thinking i knew something nobody could ever know for sure.
A never ending search just gets boring after a while.
Peace and love.   
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 redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 10,381
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: Grapefruit]
#8406230 - 05/15/08 05:50 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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so you are just calling it quits on the only thing that exalts the human spirit?
so you are ready to summarize that all efforts for perfection fail in the face of complexity?
so you are at a point where you see that absolutes are unattainable?
and
so it seems you are taking the middle way out of frustration with extremes...
well
that's a pretty good result of efforts made on your behalf!
bravo!
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Lion
I Am That I Am
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 3,665
Loc: The Becoming Tree
Last seen: 52 minutes, 45 seconds
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: Grapefruit]
#8406234 - 05/15/08 05:51 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Interesting thoughts. No need to get attached to the idea of having rightly or wrongly interpreted your experiences. Why not stick around and continue to share your insights and ideas?
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One day Ananda, who had been thinking deeply about things for a while, turned to the Buddha and exclaimed, "Lord, I've been thinking - spiritual friendship is at least half of the spiritual life!"
The Buddha replied: "Say not so, Ananda, say not so. Spiritual friendship is the whole of the spiritual life!"
Oh the good old days in merry old England and Europe. It was especially tasty to be a women then. Yes it certainly was better in the past.-Icelander
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hitch hiker
OU812
Registered: 05/08/08
Posts: 232
Last seen: 17 days, 20 hours
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: Lion]
#8406258 - 05/15/08 05:57 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Dude hang in there
Be your own God and enjoy what the earth
has to offer,we are all small furry creatures
living on this round thing and we are all the same.
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Lion
I Am That I Am
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 3,665
Loc: The Becoming Tree
Last seen: 52 minutes, 45 seconds
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: hitch hiker]
#8406264 - 05/15/08 06:00 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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Haha, well put! 
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One day Ananda, who had been thinking deeply about things for a while, turned to the Buddha and exclaimed, "Lord, I've been thinking - spiritual friendship is at least half of the spiritual life!"
The Buddha replied: "Say not so, Ananda, say not so. Spiritual friendship is the whole of the spiritual life!"
Oh the good old days in merry old England and Europe. It was especially tasty to be a women then. Yes it certainly was better in the past.-Icelander
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Cervantes
Devil's Advocate
Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 9,238
Loc: Dark Side of the Windmill
Last seen: 8 hours, 30 minutes
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: Grapefruit]
#8406491 - 05/15/08 06:58 PM (6 months, 4 days ago) |
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If you can't stand the heat... bye.
But really, you should try some of the other forums here. They aren't all as rooted in conflict as this one. 
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You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -Inigo Montoya
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 Oweyervishice
Overshoes
Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 1,245
Last seen:
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: Grapefruit]
#8406585 - 05/15/08 07:24 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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Quote:
Grapefruit said:
A never ending search just gets boring after a while.
To search or not to search? I don't know.
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Lion
I Am That I Am
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 3,665
Loc: The Becoming Tree
Last seen: 52 minutes, 45 seconds
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: Oweyervishice]
#8406668 - 05/15/08 07:42 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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Luckily, in my experience, we don't even really have to decide. We seek when our life situations inspire it or force us into it, and rest when everything is flowing harmoniously, or when grasping at attainment leaves us weary.
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One day Ananda, who had been thinking deeply about things for a while, turned to the Buddha and exclaimed, "Lord, I've been thinking - spiritual friendship is at least half of the spiritual life!"
The Buddha replied: "Say not so, Ananda, say not so. Spiritual friendship is the whole of the spiritual life!"
Oh the good old days in merry old England and Europe. It was especially tasty to be a women then. Yes it certainly was better in the past.-Icelander
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Oweyervishice
Overshoes
Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 1,245
Last seen:
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: Lion]
#8406670 - 05/15/08 07:43 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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I guess you're right. We search when we search. 
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PhanTomCat
Wildcat that Never Was....
Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 5,705
Loc: My Youniverse....
Last seen: 3 minutes, 11 seconds
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 Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: Grapefruit]
#8406795 - 05/15/08 08:14 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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There is no truth, unless you invent one for yourself, then it is yours....
Truth = Spoon....
There is no spoon, Neo....
Live, breath, and enjoy the view....
>^;;^<
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"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."
>^;;^<
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Grapefruit
Stranger
Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 343
Last seen: 8 hours, 11 minutes
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: PhanTomCat]
#8407183 - 05/15/08 09:35 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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Quote:
so you are just calling it quits on the only thing that exalts the human spirit?
Not this one.
Quote:
If you can't stand the heat... bye
It really never gets that heated when your on the internet.
Edited by Grapefruit (05/15/08 09:38 PM)
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Rahz
Spore Viewer
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 2,033
Last seen: 3 days, 2 hours
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: Grapefruit]
#8407225 - 05/15/08 09:43 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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>>>>A never ending search just gets boring after a while.
Absence makes the heart grow fond.
What was it you were searching for?
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rahz
comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace
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daytripper23
Wanker
Registered: 06/22/05
Posts: 1,744
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: PhanTomCat]
#8407437 - 05/15/08 10:21 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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Quote:
PhanTomCat said:
There is no truth, unless you invent one for yourself, then it is yours....
Truth = Spoon....
There is no spoon, Neo....
Live, breath, and enjoy the view....
>^;;^<
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 23 days
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: daytripper23]
#8409039 - 05/16/08 11:24 AM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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'More about realizing you can't come to any real conclusions.'
Crazy.
This is it. This is the conclusion, imo.
Everybody has a different view. Reality. Not one view or another, but all of them put together.
If you can imagine the creative power of all our sub/unconscious minds working simultaneously in real time, I feel you glimpse the complexity of how it comes together as shit from the depths of each of our matrices spills onto the physical plane and bounces off of everything.
Another conclusion that can be made, imo, is that psychedelics reliably allow one to put off their 'ego' or what-the-fuck-ever...
The assumed controller.
To allow one access to a wider and more expansive palette of their own essence in which to paint their picture.
Whether you call it oneness/wholeness/bliss/fuckin demons/aliens/christ/god/trippin on mushrooms/mystical experience/emptiness... doesn't really matter, imo.
Mckenna once said something about being a fisherman or something of that sort.
He related the idea of psychedelic experience to the reality of a fisherman casting his nets in the sea.
He said something along the lines of not wanting sardines that can slip through, and also not wanting a behemoth that will foul your nets.
What we're after is something we can ALL take back to the beach and eat for dinner. FISHdinner.
I thought that was fitting for this forum.
I brought the cock sauce. Real spicy shit. 
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hitch hiker
OU812
Registered: 05/08/08
Posts: 232
Last seen: 17 days, 20 hours
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: backfromthedead]
#8409089 - 05/16/08 11:37 AM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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[image align=left]http://www.shroomery.org/forums/files/08-19/053996073-shroom_tracks.jpg][/image]
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 23 days
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: hitch hiker]
#8409226 - 05/16/08 12:08 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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Thats not the transcendental object at the end of time up ahead on the tracks is it??
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deimya
tofu with monocle
Registered: 08/26/04
Posts: 528
Loc: ausländer.ch
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: backfromthedead]
#8409334 - 05/16/08 12:36 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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It's the behemoth you might want fouling your net 
Edited by deimya (05/16/08 12:37 PM)
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 23 days
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: deimya]
#8409509 - 05/16/08 01:18 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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'It's the behemoth you might want fouling your net'
Some.
I know I did. At that point it was like  ...
Fuck this net. Who built this net anyway?? Where did this net come from??
Surely this is no net designed for capturing such a BEAST.
Then you have to Bear Grylls some shit together...
Anything, quick!! Use yer fuckin shoe laces to lasso the bitch, pull it ashore, and beat it silly with an olive branch.
No Timothy Treadwell invite your girl for a meal... Fuck no. Unhinge yer jaw and swallow that sucker whole.
Then you're good on the FISHdinner for a while, imo.
Then... Its like... 'Why God have you forsaken me...??'
And you do it all over again just to make sure.
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deimya
tofu with monocle
Registered: 08/26/04
Posts: 528
Loc: ausländer.ch
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: backfromthedead]
#8409564 - 05/16/08 01:40 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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This needs more Paint and stickmen 
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backfromthedead
Activated
Registered: 03/10/07
Posts: 3,590
Last seen: 3 months, 23 days
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Re: Exeunt me, plus an apology and a final word. [Re: deimya]
#8409661 - 05/16/08 02:10 PM (6 months, 3 days ago) |
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