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 SgtBob
Animator
Registered: 07/03/05
Posts: 194
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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 gf?
#8357745 - 05/03/08 01:30 PM (5 months, 1 day ago) |
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I think i may have just broken up with my gf who ive lived with for 3 years. The day we hooked up she never slept away from my house. Even though i had a single bed that we barely fit in together, she never left my side. She was my best friend, even though we had lots of differences, almost polar, i always thought that it added a lot of variety. We still had plenty in common. Both leos, both love to say random qoutes from shows that no one gets but us. Im not sure where im goin with this post, i just need somewhere to rant, and hopefully the shroomerites will have some healthy advice.
She sayd that something had gone missing a few months back, i suppose the passion... we havnt had sex in like 4months at least. Which is usually a red flag but i dunno the way it was goin were both kinda lazy, always procrastinating, or there would be company in the house or somethin. When we had just hooked up we would do it like 3 times a day, and ive never gotten such praise from a woman. It just doesnt all add up, because i know how much she loves me, im the best boyfriend she's ever had. and i say that humbly.
Then lately i found out shes had this internet buddy that lives in the same state somewhere, and shes known him for the past 4 years or so. Theyve never hooked up or done anything, but on a suspicious hunch and a few over read convos, i decided to log her ims. also at this point i had read her live journal page that mentioned an internet sexbuddy, and i discussed that with her. But it didnt sway her at all it seems. It turns out that 60-75% of there chats are basically cybersexual in nature. and according to the times half of them are when i was sitting next to her. Tryin to have a conversation with her and only getting one word answers. while i hear keys flying away at 30-40 words a minute..... i mean that makes a guy suspicous enough.
--if anyone is still reading this i applaud you
And now its all out in the open. she knows i was logging her ims but feels bad for what she's done. and then theres the other problem of whats goin on between us? I feel we could have a future together, and we talk about it all the time. i know she loves me still but you cant force a person to be -in- love with you. i feel like after everything was out in the open and there were no lies on the table, a huge weight has been lifted off my chest and yet everything inside is crushed anyways. "I am jack's crushed heart". In our talks this morning she told me that the internet guy doesnt really have much to do with us. We'd been drifting for a while, and just lately she claimed her chats with him had escalated. it was an old friend that she never dated and flirted with online which just escalated in the absence of our passion? or was our passion killed by a romantic outlet outside the relationship? This is the biggest mess of a relationship ive been in and im at a loss of what to do......
our plan as of today was for her to move back with her mom and family like 4min away, and im hoping that if im not around to be taken for granted maybe she'll feel that passion that i KNOW she once had for me. if not we'll just grow apart i guess....
the wedding singer said it best:
LOVE STINKS!
Edited by SgtBob (05/03/08 01:36 PM)
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SgtBob
Animator
Registered: 07/03/05
Posts: 194
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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Re: gf? [Re: SgtBob]
#8358613 - 05/03/08 06:18 PM (5 months, 1 day ago) |
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0 replies? did i scare ppl? even a "sry that sucks dude" woulda been nice.
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-ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!!!!!!!
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ToTheSummit
peregrinus
Registered: 08/22/99
Posts: 6,793
Loc: Las Vegas
Last seen: 3 hours, 34 minutes
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Re: gf? [Re: SgtBob]
#8359164 - 05/03/08 09:13 PM (5 months, 1 day ago) |
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Sorry. That sucks dude.
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You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!
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ToTheSummit
peregrinus
Registered: 08/22/99
Posts: 6,793
Loc: Las Vegas
Last seen: 3 hours, 34 minutes
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Seriously though, there are so many "I got girl trouble" threads at the Shroomery I don't really pay attention to them anymore. Truth is I'd never come here looking for relationship advice. But thats just me.
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You invented the wheel....You push the motherfucker!!
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Limes
fellowsopher
Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 94
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 1 month, 3 hours
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having a girlfriend like that is probably one of the most painful things a guy can go through, I know from experience. not as bad as your case though, and I feel for you  don't let it bring you down though, the only thing you can do is either find a way to make it work or if there's no way, just wait out the pain and you'll be better and laughing about it in the near future.
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mickdawg666
wake up! youvegot sickle cell
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 2,252
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 23 hours, 13 minutes
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Re: gf? [Re: Limes]
#8361624 - 05/04/08 03:27 PM (5 months, 10 hours ago) |
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meh. id say dump her.
Its not a super healthy relationship when you have to find out your girlfriend is cyersexing with an old acquaintance by reading her private conversation logs. Plus you two sound like you've somewhat lost sexual interest in one another. I mean if you really want to make it work, go for it... because honestly its not a terrible situation where youre a retard for still even being with her, but more just the hanging by a thread kind..
Trust in her more and ask her to be honest with you about that kind of stuff, even if she thinks it will hurt. You two need to work hard on your communication skills, and communication with one another about negative feelings even.
otherwise... freedom awaits you.
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Teh PYrAmId 0f zerg:
/ \
/ Pk's \
/Anti-Pks\
/ Cr@f73r5 \
/__NOOBIES__\
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
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SgtBob
Animator
Registered: 07/03/05
Posts: 194
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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good post man, thats really where im headed at the moment. Shes stayin at home and has been missin me. so we decided she should stay there and just come visit me like a normal startup relationship. Just have to see where goes.
thanks guys, after a couple days and lots a talkin to her i feel more normal... if im posting on a public forum about my problems then im freakin out cause im usually pretty private. Something im tryin to overcome, in life, and this relationship.
feel free to let this post fall into the abyss now 
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-ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!!!!!!!
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jenns_hot
Hungry
Registered: 12/30/06
Posts: 1,043
Last seen: 3 hours, 39 minutes
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Re: gf? [Re: SgtBob]
#8363546 - 05/04/08 11:32 PM (5 months, 2 hours ago) |
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sorry to hear about your girl troubles,
I recently got out of a year and a half relationship with my ex (Jenn). She had been sending flirty messages to a couple guys and that was the point where the relationship went steadily downhill. We broke up and she moved to her mom's, and after a couple moths we tried to get back together. But ultimately, I realized that she really wasn't interested in changing, and I felt that she wasnt as loyal or dedicated to me as I was with her. Honesty was a huge issue.
I hope things work better for you.. but you need to know if she wants to change and how committed she is. also think about things that you can do to better the relationship - theres always something.
Good luck.
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Live and learn
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 cottlestonpie
wanderer
Registered: 01/18/03
Posts: 451
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Re: gf? [Re: SgtBob]
#8365737 - 05/05/08 04:52 PM (4 months, 30 days ago) |
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once they start "talking to other guys" its usually time to break up ,feel like shit for a few weeks, and move on.
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"If you will it there is no dream"
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mushbaby
Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 1,998
Loc: on a hill
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Re: gf? [Re: SgtBob]
#8376795 - 05/08/08 08:50 AM (4 months, 27 days ago) |
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Relationships take work. Alot of work. It's easy in the beginning, you have all that sexual tension and such. But after a few years.................you have to work at it.
I don't think what she did is unforgivable (another requirement for relationships:forgiveness), not nice but not so bad. She didn't screw someone else right?
If you really love her and want to keep her, I think both of you need to try to improve it.
Good luck whichever you decide.
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Maybe - and that's final.
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recycledsoul
Stranger
Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 54
Last seen: 2 months, 26 days
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is there anything harder in life than relationships?
you are worried because no one replied. you want sympathy from some external source because you can not give it to yourself?
some love from somewhere other than outside?
I think its good you havent been passoinate. if you really look at passion, it destroys relationships. when the passions not there you some how become dull, bored, because something perhaps is missing, the love? Lust can turn into love, but love can not revet back to lust. Thus i feel it is a good sign you have realized there are things higher than physical love making.
Also let us see a large part of the problem is you spend 3 years straight together.. That is really rough and its never going to work that way. Find your own intrests. If you spend all your time otgether you will get sick of eachother. thats really beautiful you spend so much time toghther, but also it can get kind of burnt out you know?
do you have any other friends besides eachother?
"Your ultimate goal is to be happy. Where is that happiness? Within you. If you want to have permanent happiness, it will never come from outside. If somebody makes you happy today, the same person will make you unhappy tomorrow. You are happiness and peace personified. Find that happiness and peace within you."
—His Holiness Sri Swami Satchidananda
Im not advising you to be cold, or leave her.
check out freedom from the known by krishnamurti
I am glad you two are progressing, maturing a little.
good luck
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Listen to what the universe wants you to do, be happy
listen to what the mind wants you to do, be miserable
just be Here. Reality as it is, dont change it as you would like it to be, just observe, no repression, no expression
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