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 dogpetdog
SNdd
Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 18
Loc: Colorado Springs
Last seen: 2 months, 15 days
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 the 8th mushroom trip
#8374456 - 05/07/08 07:11 PM (5 months, 4 days ago) |
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’I am a type of a alien. I am stuck in my nitemare life, and I want to be done with this. My true family and my true race of beings waits for me beyond. I choose this life for me. I choose this for me. Take me home. I want to be done with this. I don’t even think I care about my real family, because they are not real. I am truly an enlightened being. And for one moment I realize who I truly am, that I am not even me but someone else entirely. None of this matters. Another race of beings is waiting for me. Looking after me. Appricating me.’
That was the one of the many feelings the other nite on shrooms. My 8th trip. And what I believe to be my final trip. I’ve finally realized that I don’t have to do this anymore. It took me this long to realize it. Why was I hanging on to it so? I was. Hanging on to feelings and always wanting to trip? I’ve finally come to a place where I realize I don’t have to do this anymore. I should stop doing it. Every time a few more brain cells deteriorate. So why destroy myself? Ever trip lessens in realizations and intensity, unless I take more than before. It’s possible the actual feelings I feel are not truly the actual meaning but in essence the drug itself. I mean I’m an alien? It’s the drug! There were many things that came to me last nite. Some made sense. Others made sense at the time, but now seem only influenced by the drugs. It’s not real. Maybe all these brilliant thoughts and realities that come to light are not really real at all, but just the drug. Shrooms have a way of bringing thoughts to life and making you think that that actually is true. It just feels so right. Perhaps some of it is. Perhaps some of it is not. There’s also this feeling every time I trip that it’s happening for a reason. Like it’s supposed to happening. Isn’t that weird? Like greater beings are watching me and it’s being recorded and watched. Also every time I trip for some reason my mind thinks of previous trips and I think that this trip has to be like the last trip. And when it’s different, that kinda screws with my mind. Like it shouldn’t be different. But then I go, that was that trip and this is this trip. It’s ok if it’s new. Why do I do that every time? It’s the drug. Mass confusion. Paranoia for no reason.
The other nites trip was definitely intense in thought. There were some of the most intense visualizations and hallucinations I have ever experienced. And that was very cool. It was an escape. I’ve had these 3 grams sitting in my drawn for months and I finally used it up. And now it’s not that important anymore. In a way it’s great, and I do want to keep experiencing it. That’s just the way a part of me feels. But another part of me, shrooms aren’t that important. It’s like you only supposed to do it a few times and then stop. I have done it way too much. Nothing will ever be as good as my first trip. This last trip there was some happiness and euphoria but it wasn’t as beautiful as it was before. It was beautiful but I was able to come to a place and not be directly drawn into that whole thing, but be able to be out of it, and realize it’s just shrooms, and not feel as happy or as refreshed. That if I want to experience this wisdom and happiness I can achieve it by other means. Shrooms can get you there, but you can get there other ways if you really want to. I mean every trip has lessened in intensity and become a little more clearer about what’s happening when I’m trippin’. But also the actual meaning of all thought has become more hazy. I wasn’t quite in touch with everything and all thought as I had been before. There is some negativity that comes along with shrooms. That’s why you shouldn’t do it so much. It’s taken me a while to realize it. You do it a few times to realize many things and reach beyond yourself and go deep in your mind. But then what do you do with that. Keep trippin’? Apply it to yourself? Keep reaching that wisdom by other means? But it almost feels as though it should not be achieved all the time. Struggling with the actual meaning of everything. I am just a simple a human, I cannot take all that information. And that we’re all un-realized about our greater selves. So we should just be content being who we are. Because we’re not supposed to figure it all out. Shrooms seem like a glimpse in true meaning. But it’s a lot to deal with. It’s changed me. But I don’t know now if it’s such a good idea to be changed that much. To try and figure it all out. We’re not supposed to. But you want to wonder.
I had a good trip. Because I was into it. I was in a positive atmosphere. Whatever was in the backround and everything in the backround made the trip what is was, and different that the last one. Because it was unexpected. Whatever happened made it what it was. It started off slow. But then just got intense. There was so much going on. I cannot even explain all of it or even remember all of it. My mind felt open and I felt as though I was communicating with myself in a way that everything mattered and that I was a loved soul. When everything started becoming alive, most notably my little corner of the room the with jenna jameson poster and the pulp fiction poster. It seemed like it was all for me. That I was communicating with my hallucinations. And I was, because they were in mind. I was experiencing these things in my mind. I was communicating with my mind. On previous trips, everything that I saw was what I saw directly and in my mind. But the last few trips and especially this trip, I was able to look at something for a brief moment as is and then it would start trippin’ out. But I realized that it was all in my mind, that I wasn’t actually seeing it. My mind was distorting it. I got lost in my hallucinations when I would just stare into something and focus on it, rather that just look it. Because it’s in my mind. For about two hours I was perched on my bed, staring in mainly pulp fiction, And jenna. I would trade off. Each image was constantly morphing and becoming bigger smaller and changing. It was intense man! There was also a plant on the floor that looked as if the leaves were arms and they were moving up and down and even growing. After a while there came a point where the trip became a trip. I was immersed in it. It was a drug trip and I was having good time. I was lost inside it. There was some backround noise too. The movie sea of love was on. And the sound went with the hallucinations. What really made the trip intense is the vitamin C. What happens with the c is initially I feel it in my throat strong., as I start noticing colors more. Then after a while it’s almost like the C is in the trip and in everything I’m looking at. That citrus is making the trip stronger and more intense. Once the C kicked in I got lost in the way my wall started moving farther away and becoming 3D. It was like I was in a whole different place. My lamp was nearby and the light bulb rays started becoming in my hallucinations and in pulp fiction. There was some crazy stuff going on. Words were reversed, everything was moving. Uma Thurman was morphing, changing. Her head was her body, her body was her head. But it all fit together. It was one. Her mouth was where her eye was and the eye was were the mouth was. One eye would spin around. She would smile at me. At times Uma or Jenna would turn into something hideous. Giant lips. A pirate. An old woman. A sea monster, or a odd monster. And it was kinda frightening at first. I would go no no no, don’t do that! And then it would change again into something more normal. It was that control. I was able to control it. A few times I looked at a charecter on the t.v. and then look back at Uma and her face would be the face i just looked at and then it would change. WEIRD!
Another thing that always happens during tripping is where things are moving forward but staying the same place. Like the way a head would just be going forward, but it’s still in the same place. I don’t know how to explain it, but the morphing. You know that Michael Jackson video with the weird morphing and that one Roseanne beginning where all the faces are morphing. The morphing I’m talking about is like that. Except it goes way beyond that. It’s just trippy. The way it looks feels so good. That trip was awesome. There was also moments where I would enjoy a scene in the backround that was going on. And I wanted it to last more. I wanted to enjoy it. I didn’t want it to ever end. I think there always is the enjoyment of certain things except on shrooms of course it’s much more hightened. People I looked at on shrooms looked like aliens. Like that was the way it really looked. And the way we see it is not the way it is. We are essentially aliens to other beings. We’re just used to it. But seeing people looked weird. That guy is an alien! But I think it was just the drugs. Just a thought. Another weird thing. Peoples noses are always bigger on shrooms. Or they grow. Why is that?
After my time in my room I went outside, and there is where the alien thoughts were. Odd. It was too cold to enjoy. Then I stayed a little while in the kitchen. The floor was moving. The solid wood door was bending. I heard every little creek in my step. There was a bunch of dust on the wall I could really see.
The cat is walking around. I see all the highlights of her fur and the way it all just sits on her body. Ahh the cat. I understood her love. Animals, I’ve realized that the animals we take as pets have so much love in them. It’s almost infinite. I could tell the way the cat was walking around. The way she came to me, meowed. She just had all this love in the world. And it made me sad to think all the times I didn’t show her all the love in the world in return. I can’t. It’s my inner-self. I don’t have this infinite love. I am such a flawed species. No matter how much I ignore her or push her away, the cat always comes back to me. Showing me all the love possible. And animals to us who love, that’s a gift man. And when people show cruelty or ignore them, that’s pretty damn horrible. What a awful thing. To shun love for innocent peaceful creatures who are a gift to us. Don’t abuse your gifts. And it comes natural to people. Not everyone, but some people. So the question is, why can’t love come natural to us? Why is it all this hate and misunderstanding? So maybe trippin’ is a good thing. To make you realize love and to exault love. Then you apply that to life and try to reach that feeling on your own. Love comes natural to some people. Very few. But the majority of the human race it doesn’t.
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Tchan909
facefaulted
Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 3,428
Loc: SF Bay Area
Last seen: 11 minutes, 54 seconds
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Re: the 8th mushroom trip [Re: dogpetdog]
#8376964 - 05/08/08 10:32 AM (5 months, 3 days ago) |
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Dude, I thought I was the #1 shroomerite for verbose fretting and crippling self-analysis, but you have got this one nailed.
Stop thinking so much. That's all there is to this. It's hard, but really, you'll be better off. Find stuff to do that will stimulate you and occupy your time, like exercise, new friends, etc. Mushrooms do not cause braincells to deteriorate, you do not need more every time to have a good trip, and your first time shouldn't be your best by any means. Take a break if you like (a good idea probably) or quit, but ultimately, you are thinking WAY too hard about all of this, and that's the drug-unrelated source of your problems.
Next time, at least try waiting until the trip is over to analyze its meaning. Nothing derails a trip faster than stepping out of it to ask yourself, "wait, is the world really beautiful or is it just the drugs?" Yes, silly, it is beautiful. Don't question it.
Edited by Tchan909 (05/08/08 01:04 PM)
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LSDaytripper
Believer
Registered: 08/04/07
Posts: 330
Loc: Ohio
Last seen: 3 hours, 40 minutes
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Re: the 8th mushroom trip [Re: Tchan909]
#8377798 - 05/08/08 02:10 PM (5 months, 3 days ago) |
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I agree. Quit for a while if you really want to. In fact, it would be a great idea to, just to takes some time to get your brain and your life 'back in order.'
However, don't throw out the possibility of ever doing it again in the future. You never know how you may feel in the future, and if you one day may need to call upon the psychedelic experience for guidance, or simply just for fun.
One thing I notice a lot here is that people always seem to think they need to learn something from every trip, or they need to use the drug to make themselves a better person. Sometimes, we're perfectly fine as we are and just want to have some fun!
After an intense experience like you had though, it is advisable to stop for a while, because those can throw you off. Trust us when we here at shroomery say we know what you're going through. There are plenty of people here who have gone through very similar things as you, including myself. Hell, I have similar thoughts all the time when I'm not even tripping.
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***** (10:42:46 PM): This is so strange
***** (10:42:53 PM): Becuase I feel that I am very altered
***** (10:42:57 PM): But at the same exact time
***** (10:43:28 PM): I am closer to the real me, the real me who decides who I am, the entire me
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