|
 JackthaTripper
Researcher
Registered: 01/29/07
Posts: 791
Loc: Mycoutopia
|
 This sucks!
#8316546 - 04/22/08 09:41 PM (4 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
A 4+ year relationship just ended. This really hurts. How long is the grieving period going to last, I feel empty. Any advice or anything would help...
--------------------
   
Becoming Dreams
|
 avidpicker
flyingcolorsinmymushrooms
 
Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 386
Loc: Floating in your cereal
Last seen: 3 hours, 46 minutes
|
|
Give it about a month,in the meantime.....get as much strange as you can.
|
drkrobotnik
lurk moar.
Registered: 04/06/06
Posts: 3,875
Loc: tx
|
|
strange ass = 
REBOUND BITCHES.
comeon man.
everything happens for a reason
plenty of fish in the sea
prob better off without that bitch
it only hurts as much as you want it to hurt
etc..
--------------------
|
Capatalistc nomad
Positivelyscandalous
Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 9,774
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Last seen: 1 day, 21 hours
|
|
anything to get your mind off of it will definately help.
--------------------
PEACE
 zippoz
Quote:
in times of widespread chaos and cofusion, it has ben the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m anagment, too much programming and controll, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption
[/quote]
|
meams
Stranger(s)
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 3,057
Loc: Nawfuck VA
Last seen: 8 hours, 6 minutes
|
|
work out constantly. pain fuels muscle development 
my 2yr relationship recovery period lasted 2months.... but then again I lived with the bitch and am naturally over-sensative, so hopefully it'll be shorter for you.
Either way - it clearly wasn't meant to be, so learn from the relationship and move on
--------------------
mandolin.
|
JackthaTripper
Researcher
Registered: 01/29/07
Posts: 791
Loc: Mycoutopia
|
 Re: This sucks! [Re: meams]
#8318381 - 04/23/08 11:36 AM (4 months, 12 days ago) |
|
|
Thanks all, I will get through this one way or another. It just hurts so much right now. I'll start working out again and I'll be putting in more hours at work to keep my mind off of things. Another girl/strange would be nice too, I just hate the bar/club scene, wheres a good spot to meet girls?
Fucking Lieing Cunt-Bitch! 
Sorry, couldn't resist.
--------------------
Becoming Dreams
|
JackthaTripper
Researcher
Registered: 01/29/07
Posts: 791
Loc: Mycoutopia
|
Re: This sucks! [Re: meams]
#8322770 - 04/24/08 11:22 AM (4 months, 11 days ago) |
|
|
I quit smoking the herb a few months back, partly because of her,.. the thing is I kind of like being able to think clearly and remember things. Although I smoked like everyday.
Do you think it will make me feel better or should I continue abstaining?
--------------------
Becoming Dreams
|
The Cypher
Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 2,149
|
|
If it makes you feel happy, then do it. If you spend your time smoking and thinking of her, then that's probably not too healthy.
That being said, psychedelics helped me transition through an ended relationship a lot faster than what would have happened if I had let events take their natural course... not recommendable for everyone, but if you're confident and don't mind staring deep into your soul and coming to terms with love and the loss of love, I would predict it would be very beneficial in the long run if you're looking to get over her.
--------------------
1. the truth will set you free.
2. men of adventure are made, not born.
3. only when you forget you are human will you remember that you are a god.
|
JackthaTripper
Researcher
Registered: 01/29/07
Posts: 791
Loc: Mycoutopia
|
|
I toked a few times, it was ok. Overall I'm feeling better, getting use to it. Actually enjoying a lot of aspects of life I have been unable to in the past 4 years.
Wonder what I should do with these homemade porns... 
--------------------
Becoming Dreams
|
imagine
Random Shroomerite
Registered: 09/24/05
Posts: 205
Last seen: 2 hours, 9 minutes
|
|
what else but share?
|
JackthaTripper
Researcher
Registered: 01/29/07
Posts: 791
Loc: Mycoutopia
|
Re: This sucks! [Re: imagine]
#8403272 - 05/14/08 11:05 PM (3 months, 21 days ago) |
|
|
Haha, maybe I'll break it out for y'all someday.
--------------------
Becoming Dreams
|
Ginseng1
Elegant Universe
Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 2,134
Last seen: 21 days, 17 hours
|
|
Hopefully this experience will teach you that attaching yourself to things 'outside' of you can never grant you true happiness. You will learn that everything you will ever need to be happy in this life, will come from you, and you only.
Everything in this life is temporary. Learn to accept that fact and enjoy your memories! Rack up some new ones and keep livin'!
If you spend more time searching yourself, and less time with images of that person in your head, you should be able to stand tall again in no time.
The harder you fall, the higher you bounce!
--------------------
"The universe is honest, humanity is not." - A star
Edited by Ginseng1 (05/14/08 11:14 PM)
|
JackthaTripper
Researcher
Registered: 01/29/07
Posts: 791
Loc: Mycoutopia
|
Re: This sucks! [Re: Ginseng1]
#8403339 - 05/14/08 11:18 PM (3 months, 21 days ago) |
|
|
Wise words. She fucked me over in a way so I'm just trying to forget about her and live life. My career is about to take off, I'll be in my ideal geographical location making decent money so I'll be good. Its still sad because I thought she would be the one to take the rest of this journey with but dishonesty created that false illusion. Anyway, Fuck her, on to bigger and better things!
--------------------
Becoming Dreams
|
mickdawg666
wake up! youvegot sickle cell
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 2,157
Loc: hb, cali
Last seen: 1 hour, 33 minutes
|
|
Quote:
JackthaTripper said:
A 4+ year relationship just ended. This really hurts. How long is the grieving period going to last, I feel empty. Any advice or anything would help...
go hang out with friends, family
its natural to experience the pain of a loss like that, just try and be rational, understanding, and have love for yourself
|
OwMyHead
Village eediyot
Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 174
Last seen: 3 days, 17 hours
|
|
I was in a relationship for 2 years and when it ended, I was devastated. I had some brief rebound-type relationships (frankly, I like sex) that I knew weren't going anywhere but I was honest about that, too.
It took some deep soul-searching for me to figure out some things.
Mainly, although the guy was unbelievably fucking fantastic in bed (I can honestly say the best lover I've ever had), he was a lying piece of shit and really, he wasn't *NICE*.
Sex is good (sex is great, frankly), but a *NICE* guy, if for some reason he lacks in aptitude or talent, will be trainable.  So, fuck him. I decided I didn't want people in my life that weren't, at their core, nice people.
This guy's started drifting on the periphery of my life in the past year or so (I haven't seen him in . . . um . . . god, seven years? Eight?), and I just don't want anything to do with him at all. I don't care how good a fuck you are, I don't care how good you are with your tongue and your hands, I don't care how sexually compatible we are . . . if I can't trust you as far as I can throw you, I don't want anything to do with you.
Now, I'm not trying to preach at you. Learning that *for myself* was something that I really struggled with figuring out. I bring it up in the event that it may help you, if not, please feel free to ignore that particular bit.
But I do think you should figure out what *you* want out of a relationship. ALL things. And if "hot body" is one of them, then for the love of god be honest with yourself and put that on the list.
(You don't have to make an actual list on paper; I certainly didn't, but I did analyze things in my head. If paper or the computer works better for you, by all means, knock yourself out).
Anyway, you make your list. What you like, what you don't like. What you ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE, and what you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT TOLERATE. You don't "owe" anyone except yourself anything with this, and all you owe yourself is brutal honesty.
If religion is important to you, put it on the list. If tolerance of substance use is important to you, put it on the list. If you FUCKING HATE CATS, put that on the list of things you can't tolerate.
So for me, intelligence was a huge thing. As much as I like sex and prefer it to be good sex , and as much as sexual compatibility was on my "absolutely must have" list, I can deal with "trainable, but maybe needs the training". (That's me. You don't have to agree for you, because your list is YOUR list.)
And you know what? You don't have to do that today. It took me probably eight months to reason things out in my head. It may well take you dating around/sleeping around/going to the bar for something to "trigger" you as something you like/want/need, or hate/can't abide. That's fine, too.
And be honest with the women you date/fuck/whatever. If you just really need to go get laid, go. *shrug* I don't see the big deal. Just tell her and don't promise her the world and then scarper, cos that's fucked up.
Be honest with yourself. Be TOLERANT of yourself. You are absolutely entitled to feel betrayed and unhappy and angry and all of that. You are absolutely entitled to (and it is perfectly normal for you) to take whatever time is appropriate for you, whether that be a minute and a half or two years or anywhere in between, to work through this.
And if she was a bitch to you and lied to you, fuck her anyway. You are a human being and you deserve better.
Good luck, and keep your chin up.
|
cleverwise
Ðèmº®ålî§è®
Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 62
Loc: NC STATE
Last seen: 3 months, 12 days
|
|
Quote:
drkrobotnik said:
strange ass =
REBOUND BITCHES.
comeon man.
everything happens for a reason
plenty of fish in the sea
prob better off without that bitch
---------------------------------------------------------
it only hurts as much as you want it to hurt
-----this portion here is the best advice-----
etc..
--------------------
i know my limitations and you should know yours .!
|
meams
Stranger(s)
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 3,057
Loc: Nawfuck VA
Last seen: 8 hours, 6 minutes
|
|
glad things are lookin' up.
It feels great to live again 'eh?
--------------------
mandolin.
|
Grok
ElfspiceEnthusiast
Registered: 12/03/03
Posts: 859
Loc: Greener Pastures
Last seen: 23 days, 8 hours
|
Re: This sucks! [Re: Ginseng1]
#8406225 - 05/15/08 05:47 PM (3 months, 21 days ago) |
|
|
Yeah bro, keep your head up so you don't miss seeing the doors that are opening as this one has shut. If loss wasn't painful you wouldn't be human; its just part of the ride.
Quote:
Ginseng1 said:
Hopefully this experience will teach you that attaching yourself to things 'outside' of you can never grant you true happiness. You will learn that everything you will ever need to be happy in this life, will come from you, and you only.
I challenge you to be happy without oxygen, or water. This simply isn't true, on several levels, but this isn't the place for debate.
--------------------
Reality: - (1) Where idealism goes to die.
- (2) "...a good place to visit, but not somewhere I wanna live!" - Uncle B
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful." - Seneca the Younger
|
Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 9,034
Loc: PNW
|
Re: This sucks! [Re: Grok]
#8406236 - 05/15/08 05:51 PM (3 months, 21 days ago) |
|
|
Quote:
I challenge you to be happy without oxygen, or water.
Yet obviously these things do not grant happiness.
--------------------
|
OwMyHead
Village eediyot
Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 174
Last seen: 3 days, 17 hours
|
Re: This sucks! [Re: Veritas]
#8406572 - 05/15/08 07:21 PM (3 months, 21 days ago) |
|
|
No, but it is impossible to be "happy" without them...
I dare say if you are denied food, oxygen and water the next several minutes of your life will be miserable indeed.
For the vast majority of people, a life without love, companionship and sexual contact would be miserable, too. To the point where the people who are *capable* of being "happy" without them are the exception, and not the rule.
|
|
login or 
register to post messages and view our members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, encrypted messages, file attachments, board customizations, and much more!
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit 
Reply 
Quote 
