|
 chubbycharley
the chubbiest ofthe charleys
Registered: 04/02/04
Posts: 525
Loc: everywhere
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
|
 HOLY FUCKING SHIT! 
#7454104 - 09/25/07 11:27 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
OK, i just had the closest of calls. you see, i was on my way home from my friend's house where we were doing the preliminary stuff for an upcoming campagin in the Star Wars role playing game. what an awesome way to start a story, eh? anyways, we were filling out our character sheets and shit (i'm a level 6 dark jedi guardian and a level 2 soldier Em'liy badass btw  ) and having a good toke. when i left, i put my 1.5g of good mids wrapped in a cellophane pouch in the watch-pocket of my shorts. just before i got out of there my friend asks my for a bowl for later so i break him off a bowl and that's that.
so i just happen to be driving past the local university and i notice there is a cop following me. ~stay cool, they don't want to harm you~ LIGHTS
~fuck~
i pull over and this female LEO comes and asks why she stopped me. i say no, she then asks if i know my tags are expired. i didn't know so i gave her an honest negative. she then asks for my liscense, registration and proof of insurance.
i am pretty scattered at this point and she asks how my driving record was so i say "spotless". i manage to produce the registration and ID but i'm not sure if i can find the insurance ~god damn it~ she says she's going back to her car and if i find it to wave it out the window but to not get out of the car.
so i'm wondering if this paper that i found is what i'm looking for when she walks back up to my window. she asks if i've been in trouble and i tell her i got a ticket for use of MJ. she asks if there is anything in the car and i tell her no. she asks again. no, but i did find this *holding out aforementioned piece of paper*
she takes it and asks if she can search the car. now i knew it was clean so i said she could. she makes me get out and walk to the back of the car while i'm trying not to think of the bag in my shorts. she has me face the back of my car and mr LEO comes out of nowhere. she asks if i have anything in my pockets that will hurt the officer, anything like knives, needles, sharp objects, guns, drugs, grenades, bazookas, bombs.
heh, no.
a man tells me to interlace my fingers behind my back. he puts his hands on my hips (oh god, this must be what it's like in prison), then down around the front of my thighs. first the right one, then the left. his voice again, this just a cell phone?
yes, sir.
then around to my back pockets, nothing there. once more around the front and up my sides, merrily along his way he goes. "nothing, he's clean", i hear.
mrs LEO tells me to stand on the sidewalk while she searches the car. she asks me why the trunk opened. i'm like WTF, i must have bumped the button in the glove box ~oops~ first she does the driver seat area, then the back seat on the that side. then she opens the trunk and comes around the back with her purple rubber glove wearing hands held up near her chest. she walks around and checks the back seat on the passenger side, wasting her time.
the whole time i'm standing there with this idiot cop who just touched my bag and felt nothing. i was seeing a white light emanate from my being, protecting me.
so they let me go with i ticket for the expired tags and mrs LEO tells me when a cop asks about your driving record you tell her what's on your criminal record. weird, huh?
it's lame that everything is driven by money. like if the precinct doesn't make quota near the end of the month they start doing anything to keep from losing funding from the city. fucking bastard capitalist pigs.
so yeah, this pot is pretty good 
 
--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me 
|
Maverick
Photographer and Stoner
Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 9,488
Loc: Northern Nevada 
Last seen: 51 minutes, 4 seconds
|
|
I wouldn't have told her my criminal record, I wouldn't have said yes to a search. I don't like being pinned against the car. They ask you, and you can flatout say No thank you.
|
DuNeRaVeR
Sound conciousness
Registered: 01/30/06
Posts: 12,219
Loc: The land of Ports.
Last seen: 2 hours, 7 minutes
|
|
Lady Luck smiled upon you.
--------------------
 
---------------------------------------------------
He who looks outside dreams, He who looks inside awakens.
-------------------------------------------------
I make music with my computer, Click here for my Soundcloud Old project:www.myspace.com/psychoactivesynth
|
chubbycharley
the chubbiest ofthe charleys
Registered: 04/02/04
Posts: 525
Loc: everywhere
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
|
 Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: Maverick]
#7454124 - 09/25/07 11:33 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
and then in the real world, they ask you what that smell is and then search your car anyways. cops are dicks/cunts. they respect the law about as much as we do.
oh, and she could see on her computer that i did have a record.
--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me
|
Leanin
Student of theIron Game
Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 2,227
Last seen: 2 months, 1 day
|
|
fuck that, she had no reason to search your car. she stopped you for expired registration.
just tell the bitch she cant search your car next time. just because you had a ticket for MJ back when doesnt give her probably cause to search your vehicle.
you freaked out and got owned. if that bitch cop would been frisking you, you woulda been fucked.
next time, use your head.
|
 indica
penquin
Registered: 08/17/05
Posts: 13,495
Loc: 68.5764° S, 77.9689° E
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: Leanin]
#7454190 - 09/25/07 11:59 PM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
One time, my cousin asked me if I could drive him into town to meet someone to pick up a 20 pack of pills.
I agreed, and took him into town, with his dodgy ass friend as well, to meet their dealer.
I dropped him off, and was told to just circle the block or something so he could do it. It was down near this little market/nightclub area that kinda is all open and shit and really nice. I just did a quick blockie while I waited for him. I started noticing this cop car following, so instead of going "is he, isn't he" i just pulled the fuck over to save them the hassle of trying to scare my ass.
They pulled up behind me and turned the party lights on.
They came up and asked if I knew why I was being followed.
"No friggin idea, sorry. Did I do something wrong?"
APparently, I'd failed to yield to a Keep left sign. I didn't know, and later on I saw that it was actually a pretty easy sign to miss.
Anyway, they asked if I'd had anything dodgy in my car and I said no. The dodgy kid with me was pacxking shit and i told him to chill the fuck out, we had nothing to hide so we were safe. He came back and said I'd had a strike against my name for drug possession and asked if he could search the car.
Smugly, I said yes. Got out, let them do their business. Both me and the kid got frisked, shaken down and came out clean. My car was fucking loaded with trash. Empty mcdonalds bags, plastic bags, ropes, empty bottles n whatnot. Which was a thanks.
anyway, the cop gave me a warning for the infringement and let me on my way. I got back into the car and said "fuck, lucky thing jack (my cousin) wasn't in the car!"
the kid looked at me white as a ghost.
"I can't believe they missed that!"
"Missed what?" i asked
He reached down on the floor and picked up an empty cig packet, and pulled out abag full of buds. HE said he'd dropped it on the floor.
I said "so you were gonna fucking let me take the wrap for your fucking buds, you little shit"
and yeah, little cunt.
Oh well, a) lucky the cops never found HIS buds and B) that my cousin wasnt in the car with his 20 pack of pills.
Went back, picked my cuz up and had an awesome night
--------------------
|
chubbycharley
the chubbiest ofthe charleys
Registered: 04/02/04
Posts: 525
Loc: everywhere
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: Leanin]
#7454214 - 09/26/07 12:06 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
of course she had no reason to search the car, but she was going to do it one way or another. all she would have to do is look in and say, "is that a gun under your seat?" and then say it must have been a shadow when she finds nothing.
i knew the whole time that i would be fine. in situations like that it is true believing, synchronicity, telepathy, my friend that saves you. and i didn't freak. if i had they would have found the bag.
i would say the disappointed look on mrs LEO's face before i left decrees it is them that be the recipients of teh ownage!
--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me
|
chubbycharley
the chubbiest ofthe charleys
Registered: 04/02/04
Posts: 525
Loc: everywhere
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: indica]
#7454223 - 09/26/07 12:09 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
how similar 
but my car was very clean. strangeness.
--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me
|
Leanin
Student of theIron Game
Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 2,227
Last seen: 2 months, 1 day
|
|
you guys just puss out, sorry that happened.
|
Chubba
Vape hungry
Registered: 07/05/07
Posts: 6,784
Last seen: 11 months, 12 days
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: Leanin]
#7454270 - 09/26/07 12:32 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Why the hell would you have illegal drugs in your pocket?
How not to get caught, by Chubba:
1. Drive one handed, the bag of drugs in your other hand AT ALL TIMES and out of sight. The important note here is that when you get flashed, the cop doesn't see you reaching for a bag or doing anything suss.
/lights flash
2.
*If it's a random stop and you're sure it's safe.
a) Shove your bag down your underpants, against your nutsack.
*If it's not random (drug squad, they saw you cop etc.)
b) Shove your bag up your asshole
3. Act normal, give them all your details, let them search yourself and the car if they request.
4. Go home, get high.
|
indica
penquin
Registered: 08/17/05
Posts: 13,495
Loc: 68.5764° S, 77.9689° E
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: Chubba]
#7454279 - 09/26/07 12:35 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
how hard is it to pul a bag of buds out of your shitpipe?
--------------------
|
chubbycharley
the chubbiest ofthe charleys
Registered: 04/02/04
Posts: 525
Loc: everywhere
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: indica]
#7454322 - 09/26/07 12:52 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
you could just poop it out 
lol, well all i know is that i have to pay a fine for the registration and i get to keep my weed and not go to jail, so that's good in my book.
--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me
|
indica
penquin
Registered: 08/17/05
Posts: 13,495
Loc: 68.5764° S, 77.9689° E
|
|
american drug laws suck the hairy one
--------------------
|
Chubba
Vape hungry
Registered: 07/05/07
Posts: 6,784
Last seen: 11 months, 12 days
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: indica]
#7454347 - 09/26/07 01:05 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
how hard is it to pul a bag of buds out of your shitpipe?
I got a 1/2 ounce up there once.
You would be suprised how easy it fits when you got to do it in 5 seconds before the cop is at your window.
You just bloody reach and shove with all your might.
|
StreetFreak
smellin' like a plant
Registered: 02/10/07
Posts: 946
Loc: locked in a place where n...
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: Chubba]
#7454364 - 09/26/07 01:14 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Chubba said:
Quote:
how hard is it to pul a bag of buds out of your shitpipe?
I got a 1/2 ounce up there once.
You would be suprised how easy it fits when you got to do it in 5 seconds before the cop is at your window.
You just bloody reach and shove with all your might.
Wow.. just wow
I might make sure it's in my ass crack, but I'm not so sure I could shove a half ounce up my ass in 5 seconds. I've never tried, but it seems doubtful.
More power to you.
|
Angered Roach
On The RoadAgain
Registered: 05/11/07
Posts: 419
Loc: Cincinnati, OH
Last seen: 2 months, 18 days
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: indica]
#7454370 - 09/26/07 01:20 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
xk3m_indica said:
He reached down on the floor and picked up an empty cig packet, and pulled out abag full of buds. HE said he'd dropped it on the floor.
I said "so you were gonna fucking let me take the wrap for your fucking buds, you little shit"
If I were in this circumstance, this kid would not have been able to walk away once the cops left. I'm hoping you at least gave him a few shots to the stomach to remember you by.
These two stories highlight the most important thing about dealing with police. Don't act like you're up to some shady shit, and they won't pull the riot act on you.
Most cars have various little cups and trays on the center console and dash, some of which can be pulled right out, revealing a space beneath the tray. This approach won't save you from a dog, but it'll save you from a casual search. Other than that, i'll usually just keep the joint or whatever in my hand and be ready to eat it if I see those red and blues.
--------------------
"The Government's Solution to a Problem is usually worse than the Problem" - Milton Friedman
|
makaveli8x8
Stranger
Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 16,528
Last seen: 12 hours, 29 minutes
|
|
Quote:
Angered Roach said:
Quote:
xk3m_indica said:
and be ready to eat it if I see those red and blues.
that pretty much sums up all police encounters
--------------------
  We were sent to hell for eternity  Ø h®
We play on earth to pass the time 
Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.
|
indica
penquin
Registered: 08/17/05
Posts: 13,495
Loc: 68.5764° S, 77.9689° E
|
|
my car has an awesome stash spot. but for a while there, every time i had a friend in my car that used drugs i was like "wait, before i start this fucking car... if you have any fucking drugs in your pockets, get rid of them now. i dont want fucking drugs in my car " because i was so paranoid
--------------------
|
LucidDream
Hungry BlueFiend
Registered: 05/09/03
Posts: 1,488
Loc: Planet of the Stupid Peop...
|
Re: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! [Re: indica]
#7454536 - 09/26/07 05:05 AM (4 years, 7 months ago) |
|
|
I went to jail with a nice fat quarter in my pocket once. (I was a passenger in a car in which a roach was found, so they arrested everyone.) They searched me twice, made me take off my shoes, and patted me down. Both times they felt the huge bulge in my pants, but never asked me to empty my pockets. I guess they just thought I was really glad to see them.
I was doubly scared of being found out because the two aquiantances who went to jail with me would have found out I was holding out on them.
Got bailed out by dad at 5 am, smoked up, and went to work.
--------------------
Sarcasm just one of my many talents.
Edited by LucidDream (09/26/07 05:10 AM)
|
demius
broccolilocks
Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 36,556
Loc: the popcorn stadium
|
|
you just had your rights violated
congratulations
|
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit 
Reply 
