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 Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
 
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 6,103
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
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 Addiction Support Thread
#6625871 - 03/01/07 08:07 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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As everyone who's been there knows, recovery from addiction is a life long process.
IME it's damn hard to kick, hard to re-adjusted to life....then it's a cake walk. Everythings great. Dope? Fuck dope! This blissful period of "yes! I have my life back! I don't want that shit..." goes on for a bit.....then you get hit with some cravings here, some there....a little depression here, little there. Shit's still cool though, it passes fast......
Then you find yourself in the next phase of the struggle.....suddenly it isn't a 5 minute period of craving/feeling down...you find yourself feeling shitty for days, weeks, thinking about getting high constantly, etc....dreaming about the shit every night, having it right there ready to do, but never actually being able to do it....then waking up. You know the drill.
I recently went through a period of a couple weeks like this, and while I was at work the other day, I got to thinking about starting a thread in this forum where people that are battling with addiction...whether they are currently hooked, or struggling to stay clean, can reach out for support.
So yeah, if you need support & advice, post about it here.
 
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"That was some of the sorriest shit I've ever been around." - Miles Davis on Washington, after going to an awards show thrown for Ray Charles by the Reagan administration.
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 PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 5,047
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 4 hours, 34 minutes
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 Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6626563 - 03/01/07 11:25 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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you captured my struggle perfectly.
Right now im in the "fuck yeah, i feel great, 1 week clean"..
but i am going to the coast and will be around party people forsure. We'll see if i can keep my head straight. I've actually, pretty much sold myself short - i know im going to party, but just for 2 days and then back to sober..
Cut ties with the connection, so unless im at the coast.. im shit outta luck.
Its strange to think your in control, but then to let go.
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"i am becomming my future self"
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pB0t
GenericShroomery Member
Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 2,380
Loc: San Francisco, CA
Last seen: 8 months, 12 days
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6626627 - 03/01/07 11:51 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Today was my first day without a drink in a long time. I am probably going to go to an AA meeting this weekend just to sit and listen. I was going to go to one tonight but I missed it due to traffic.
I have been craving alcohol pretty much all day, trying to convince myself that there's no harm in having it, even though I know there is.
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5-MeOW-DMT
j2012b said:
my friend did a shot of heroin while drunk and on benzos. they passed out and were non responsive, lips turned blue.
breathing was shallow and inconsistent - she may have stopped breathing completely . i stuck ice in her ass and pussy , and gave cpr. she finally opened her eyes and spoke after maybe 15-30 minutes of being completely out.
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pB0t
GenericShroomery Member
Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 2,380
Loc: San Francisco, CA
Last seen: 8 months, 12 days
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6626634 - 03/01/07 11:54 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Good thread idea BTW. 
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5-MeOW-DMT
j2012b said:
my friend did a shot of heroin while drunk and on benzos. they passed out and were non responsive, lips turned blue.
breathing was shallow and inconsistent - she may have stopped breathing completely . i stuck ice in her ass and pussy , and gave cpr. she finally opened her eyes and spoke after maybe 15-30 minutes of being completely out.
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TheBulb2005
Human
Registered: 12/20/05
Posts: 307
Last seen: 1 day, 13 hours
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: pB0t]
#6626672 - 03/02/07 12:13 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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4 months clean of all drugs...I ALMOST decided to smoke weed this weekend but I decided against it. cant give in to the temptation
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dobie
I AM A GOODMORMAN KIDDAMMIT!
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 31,224
Loc: the couv
Last seen: 14 days, 23 hours
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6626923 - 03/02/07 01:52 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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This is like the junky roll call but none the less I am here, Hooked struggling with life and shit but with plans of rehab in the near future but am just afraid of taking that step and actually doing it.
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My mom says I am a hoodlum!
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Nova
Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 181
Last seen: 1 day, 2 hours
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: dobie]
#6627057 - 03/02/07 03:38 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dark_Star said:
As everyone who's been there knows, recovery from addiction is a life long process.
IME it's damn hard to kick, hard to re-adjusted to life....then it's a cake walk. Everythings great. Dope? Fuck dope! This blissful period of "yes! I have my life back! I don't want that shit..." goes on for a bit.....then you get hit with some cravings here, some there....a little depression here, little there. Shit's still cool though, it passes fast......
Then you find yourself in the next phase of the struggle.....suddenly it isn't a 5 minute period of craving/feeling down...you find yourself feeling shitty for days, weeks, thinking about getting high constantly, etc....dreaming about the shit every night, having it right there ready to do, but never actually being able to do it....then waking up. You know the drill.
I recently went through a period of a couple weeks like this, and while I was at work the other day, I got to thinking about starting a thread in this forum where people that are battling with addiction...whether they are currently hooked, or struggling to stay clean, can reach out for support.
So yeah, if you need support & advice, post about it here.
Wow, exactly right. About a year ago I quit everything. After the first maybe 2 weeks clean, I felt great, all self rightous preaching to my friends how they shouldnt mess with drugs. Then after a couple of months I would have these random cravings but I would think 'no I don't want to end up there again'.
Then the dreams! ahh the dreams are horrible!!! Even after over half a year clean, I would have dreams where I would have gallon sized ziploc bags full of oc and I would always be trying to do em and get really close and then something would inturrupt me or I would wake up.
It's just always good to remember that if you are hooked on some substance, you aren't able to really live your life because your mind is litterally being controlled by something else. And if you aren't busy living you're basically dead.
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CerebralFlower
whats left?
Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,325
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 5 months, 14 days
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Nova]
#6627188 - 03/02/07 06:51 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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having something else to do positive that you actully enjoy helps take your mind off things that are troubling for it. If you can find a laid back job that you like, thats a good idea.
just think no matter how good the high was it is only trouble
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God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire
Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 12,756
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
Last seen: 3 hours, 18 minutes
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6627294 - 03/02/07 08:01 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Good idea for a thread. There are a lot of members here with a lot of good advice to give in this area. And there are a lot that could use it. I'm gearing up for four drug-free weeks starting March 5 just to see what it's like.
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-oOo-
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. -- `Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' -- Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
-oOo-
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 blissedout
seeker of the one true orb
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 15,981
Loc: Loc: Loc:
Last seen: 7 minutes, 52 seconds
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6628185 - 03/02/07 02:09 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Great thread, friend.
I gave myself the birthday present of not drinking alcohol, or sodas for a month. I may end up trying to cut out my soda drinking completely, but we'll see how that goes. I moderate everything in my life and lately, I haven't been moderating my alcohol use. It was starting to concern me, so I decided to kick it to the curb for a spell. Mostly, I just want to prove to myself that I can step away from it with no problems. So far so good. Life is too precious and short to get tied down by a substance. We have fought for our own personal freedom throughout the history of man, so why would we want to be slaves to our own wants? Control and moderation are essential to our happiness. Let's get to living, people! I love you all and only want you to live happy lives.
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"The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music."
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Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 6,103
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: PDU]
#6628372 - 03/02/07 03:08 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
i know im going to party, but just for 2 days and then back to sober..
That's playing with fire my friend, as I'm sure you know.....but having done that many, many times I really have no room to talk. 
Quote:
Its strange to think your in control, but then to let go.
Word, a lot of the times with me, I'd just stop caring and throw myself into it, because it felt so good. Bad idea to say the least.
Quote:
Today was my first day without a drink in a long time.
Right on brother! The first step is always the hardest.......keep on that path.
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I have been craving alcohol pretty much all day, trying to convince myself that there's no harm in having it, even though I know there is.
Get used to it.....this is something you're going to have face for a long time, though it will get easier with time. Just think enough is enough......you have your whole life ahead of you....you don't want it to pass you by. We're here whenever you need some moral support brother; that's why I started this thread. 
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4 months clean of all drugs...I ALMOST decided to smoke weed this weekend but I decided against it. cant give in to the temptation
Right on man, keep it up. I couldn't go that far.....I enjoy my psychedelics, herb & beer too much, though I use those moderately. Personally, I've found psychedelics to be the perfect medicine to help me keep me on the right path, though by no means am I suggesting you make exceptions if you're trying to be totally straight. You must have some serious willpower brother, that can take you far if you use it wisely. 
Quote:
Hooked struggling with life and shit but with plans of rehab in the near future but am just afraid of taking that step and actually doing it.
It's hard brother, I know that all too well. Feeling completely alone, completely fucked, totally hopeless...... But man, there IS light at the end of the tunnel; you CAN live without the shit, and moreover, you can be happy without it......you'll be a lot happier clean than you are now, I guarantee that. The kick's going to suck hardcore, but you can get through it. I always did it cold turkey.....used benzos and shit at times, but other than that...... It's the worst pain I've ever been though, and I've been through it more times than I can even remember.
Let go of your fear friend, that's the addiction......you're ready to be set free, ready to move on in your life. Take those steps NOW......."the near future" never comes. I know from saying it myself countless times. If/when you go to rehab, be sure to take it seriously.....it's still going to be hard work, you can't go in expecting that your problems will be solved in a snap. I watched friends go time after time....one went 4 times within 6-8 months. Each time "I'm done with shit now", each time was a failure.....in fact, 3 out of those 4 times this kid immediately went down to cop & sniff dope AS SOON as he got out!
We're here for you!
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Then the dreams! ahh the dreams are horrible!!!
Yeah man, for real.....
Quote:
I would have dreams where I would have gallon sized ziploc bags full of oc and I would always be trying to do em and get really close and then something would inturrupt me or I would wake up.
So I guess this is a universal symptom for recovering addicts.
Quote:
It's just always good to remember that if you are hooked on some substance, you aren't able to really live your life because your mind is litterally being controlled by something else. And if you aren't busy living you're basically dead.
Very well said brother! I felt very much dead when I was strung out, like a severely depressed zombie. All I wanted to do was fall asleep and never, EVER wake up. I get chills just thinking about it.
Quote:
I'm gearing up for four drug-free weeks starting March 5 just to see what it's like.
Good luck, it'll be a very interesting experience for you. You're going to learn just how long 4 weeks really is.
Quote:
I gave myself the birthday present of not drinking alcohol, or sodas for a month. I may end up trying to cut out my soda drinking completely, but we'll see how that goes.
Right on man, much luck to ya! Soda.....man, I've been trying unsuccessfully to cut that shit out of my diet for years. It's so bad for you, teeth especially, but giving it up is no easy task.
Quote:
I moderate everything in my life and lately, I haven't been moderating my alcohol use. It was starting to concern me, so I decided to kick it to the curb for a spell. Mostly, I just want to prove to myself that I can step away from it with no problems. So far so good.
Hell yeah....you caught it before it turned into something worse. That's what's up man, and a sign that your head's screwed on right. I wish I'd have done the same with opiates before that turned into a nightmare.
Quote:
Life is too precious and short to get tied down by a substance. We have fought for our own personal freedom throughout the history of man, so why would we want to be slaves to our own wants? Control and moderation are essential to our happiness. Let's get to living, people! I love you all and only want you to live happy lives.
Indeed! I love you all as well.
Much luck to you all, and please, don't be afraid to ask for help.....
That's why we're here.
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"That was some of the sorriest shit I've ever been around." - Miles Davis on Washington, after going to an awards show thrown for Ray Charles by the Reagan administration.
Edited by Dark_Star (03/02/07 03:10 PM)
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PDU
travel kid vs.amerika
Registered: 12/03/02
Posts: 5,047
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 4 hours, 34 minutes
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6629731 - 03/02/07 09:39 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Im glad i dont have a contact anymore, soon ill be in school, and then working. No room for an addiction anymore!
just.. once, over this weekend.. right?
(excuses excuses - im sure we're all too familiar)
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"i am becomming my future self"
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dobie
I AM A GOODMORMAN KIDDAMMIT!
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 31,224
Loc: the couv
Last seen: 14 days, 23 hours
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6629882 - 03/02/07 11:04 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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I am just waiting on my girlfriend to come back here so I can use her as a crutch of sorts I hate life addicted to something I don't even wanna get high anymore I just dont wanna be sick 
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My mom says I am a hoodlum!
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Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 6,103
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: dobie]
#6631298 - 03/03/07 12:08 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Yeah man, I wished that I had someone to take care of me when I kicking...it fucking sucks as it is, being alone through it makes it even worse.
Quote:
I hate life addicted to something I don't even wanna get high anymore I just dont wanna be sick:(
Yup, I know what you mean, by the end I just wanted to be done with it....the shit didn't even get me high, just took away the sickness......didn't even make me happy, in fact it made me really irritable. The only reason I kept doing it was to keep the sickness at bay.
Just keep reminding yourself that you'll feel a million times better than you do now, after the kick and the sickness are over with.
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"That was some of the sorriest shit I've ever been around." - Miles Davis on Washington, after going to an awards show thrown for Ray Charles by the Reagan administration.
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daytripper23
Wanker
Registered: 06/22/05
Posts: 1,590
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6631479 - 03/03/07 01:36 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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is scratching your balls kind of like addiction
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pB0t
GenericShroomery Member
Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 2,380
Loc: San Francisco, CA
Last seen: 8 months, 12 days
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Well, after three days sober I fucking lost it and got drunk again. I have been working 7 days a week lately and am stressed, trying to quit booze and cope with depression was too much for me. I could have stayed sober tonight if I had tried harder, but I was just like "What's the point?". I really think my alcoholism is tied to depression though. I am going to a psychiatrist on Thursday to get some long overdue professional help.
I never made it to the AA meetings I was going to check out. I'm not even sure if I want to quit drinking. It would be nice to not be getting drunk 4-8 times a week, but honestly, to never drink again ever? Seems impossible.
And I totally relate to people having dreams about their demon drugs. Last night I dreamt I was in a liquor store buying and sampling the finest whiskies, drinking beers with my friends, etc.
In anycase, not sure why I'm writing this, but to anyone reading who isn't addicted to anything, my advice is that you try to stay that way. The last three days of my life felt like a year. I never knew how dependent I was on alcohol before I tried to quit. Scariest of all was the "coming home" feeling I got tonight.
I am all for responsible drug use, but you have to actually be responsible and not get it fucked like I have done.
Tomorrow is another day.
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5-MeOW-DMT
j2012b said:
my friend did a shot of heroin while drunk and on benzos. they passed out and were non responsive, lips turned blue.
breathing was shallow and inconsistent - she may have stopped breathing completely . i stuck ice in her ass and pussy , and gave cpr. she finally opened her eyes and spoke after maybe 15-30 minutes of being completely out.
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ShroomOmatic
Ethno Apprentice
Registered: 10/14/04
Posts: 2,373
Loc: Sailing the Seas of Chees...
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: Dark_Star]
#6634539 - 03/04/07 02:40 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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Good idea for a thread DS. I've been clean of heroin for over a year now and it feels great. I still struggle with addiction though even after a year. Its what I used to fight depression and the problems that were going on in my life.
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adamj
Superhero
Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 1,451
Loc: Ontario, CAN
Last seen: 3 hours, 10 minutes
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I know it's not hardcore but I'm having a tough time kicking marijuana. I think because of the general idea that marijuana is a -- simple herb, a beginners drug, nothing serious, just weed -- I never gave a shit if I tried to quit for a week but then blazed two days into it. I just carried around that "whatever... it's just weed" feeling around.
If I kept count this is probably my 15th time quitting 
But now.. man... this past week was my reading week and I was smoking literally 10 times a day. Whenever I was sober I just felt such an urge to get stoned. Honestly I was stoned every waking hour.
I'll say it now - I have a problem.
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hypnotiQ
Stranger
Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 7
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: adamj]
#6638127 - 03/05/07 03:44 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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My addiction is very serious. It's affected me in horrible ways and up to this point my life has been a disaster.
my addiction is.... computers. this virtual world we are in right now. I don't get out of the house or even away from the computer for hours upon hours. Sometimes I don't eat or sleep cause I'm too wrapped up in whatever I'm doing. It consumes me. I get very lonely because I've lost touch with the real people in my life. Now I don't have a job anymore so every day I wake up its a struggle not to sit down and get sucked into my virtual world. I can't even support myself and I'm skinny like I've been using meth. Alot of the times it feels like I'm using meth cause of the stimulation and radiation I get from the glow of the screen at night, every night sometimes til the sun comes up. The worst part is that this is my first time coming forward. I never ask for help from anyone. But people don't know how computers can be so addictive there needs to be more public awareness whether it be forum posting, checking the internet for news, playing games like everquest, or surfing online porn.
Today I didn't get out of bed til 3PM this afternoon. I was up doing mushrooms the night before til 7am this morning. I had done this the night before. (eating about 1-2 grams each night) It was only then (the fist night) that I realized I had this problem. I had feelings of depression and wanted to die. I wanted to go away to rehab to be treated by doctors. But then now on my 2nd trip this weekend I have taken it upon myself to sort through my own head and my own psyche and find out the underlying problem(s) through the use of ethenogens and through the power of expanded consciousness thinking. I believe that any problem can be solved through self-identifying.
My plan going forward is to pick up some melatonin. Though I have never used this hormone I have read that it works effortlessly to regulate sleep cycles. My hope tonight is to be in bed and sleep from starting at 2am to around 9 or 10am to curb the unnecessary psycho stimulation I receive each night when my mind would otherwise be telling me to go to sleep were it not for continuously receiving new visual information. My next step will be to go for a good long walk each morning and each night before I go to sleep my hope is that the fresh air and sun/moon light will help my general well-being and the expended physical energy will help me to feel more active rather then sitting at the computer playing games where hand eye coordination and visual/mental acuity is more important. Other steps I will be including is reading books for information and learning instead of reading on the web which is a more meandering endeavor where hours can pass by without knowing while recieving a flow of positively charged ions and electromagnetic radiation. AND to plan and categorize why I need to use the computer and to alott time periods for each task.
I will also continue to come to this thread and report to you and to me of my progress as sort of a journal.
PLUR
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Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 6,103
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
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Re: Addiction Support Thread [Re: pB0t]
#6638411 - 03/05/07 05:01 PM (1 year, 5 months ago) |
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pBOt, Just keep on trying brother, keep on trying....it'll take more than 1 try to get the job done, so don't feel bad. Everyone has relapses. I hear you on the AA meetings; I went to a few NA meeting and it didn't do it for me. At all. I either went all faded and nodding out, or sober and sick as dog.....the whole time thinking about getting a fix, and as soon as I could jet out of there I went and got some dope.
adamj, it's good that you're noticing a negative habit before you get into something worse. My advice would be to get out and do things; go for long hikes, go out to eat....try hanging out in places you usually don't. Take little road trips and see where you end up, as well as all the cool things you notice along the way. Sitting at home bored makes it 10x easier to pass the time under the influence of something. Also remember that moderation will make smoking herb much more enjoyable; you'll get really high, like you did back in the day....and you'll get more out of it. Plus save money, and feel better mentally & physically.
hypnotiQ, yeah man, the computer can be DAMN addicitive...and there isn't much awareness of this problem yet.
I agree with you about the entheogens; LSD was the driving force that broke me out of my addiction, and is a great medicine/aid in keeping me free. MDMA/MDA & shrooms have also played their parts, though to a lesser degree.
It sounds like you have the right idea there with the walks and reading too...that's key. If I were you, I'd take it a bit farther; when you get up, drink some coffee or tea, meditate....then go for a long hike. When you feel the urge to get on the computer go for a hike instead....go for a drive; the same advice I gave adamj goes for you my friend.
Quote:
I will also continue to come to this thread and report to you and to me of my progress as sort of a journal.
Right on brother, this is exactly what I had in mind when I started this thread. I'm glad the idea has caught on. :thumup:
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"That was some of the sorriest shit I've ever been around." - Miles Davis on Washington, after going to an awards show thrown for Ray Charles by the Reagan administration.
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