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 gotcha420haha
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Registered: 12/21/05
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 Relationship Advice... 
#6422029 - 01/03/07 06:13 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ive known this girl for about 3 years now, and we dated during the first year. She was the first girl i ever had a real relationship with and shes the first girl i ever had sex with. She ended up having to leave town for school so we broke up and after i found out she cheated on me, a very painful experience for me.
When she got back from school, i sort of forgave her and we fucked around for a while, nothing serious. Then we lost touch because i had found a new girlfriend, but during that relationship i thought about the girl alot. so me and my girlfriend broke up a few months ago. So Ive been getting back in touch with my old girl, we fucked around but i think it hurts her and she wants to go back out with me, but i don't have an interest in getting cheated on again.
The thing is, this girl drinks like crazy, has a fucked up home-life, and does alot of drugs very loosely without thinking about it. She acts like I was the only thing that ever made her happy in her life. So i am thinking about going back out with her, but it would be more so i can save her from herself, because i care bout her.
So i would like the shroomerys honest opinion on what i should do.
(I hate reading long posts about relationships but i thought someone might be able to give me some advice.)
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"Sometimes I wonder, If I know where I am going. I go for a walk and it seems like I have been walking for years and years and I don't know where I'm going. I hear the sound leading me on."
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stoneage
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if i were you i wouldn't go back out with her but just be a good friend. just let her know that you are there for her and will support her whenever she needs it. sounds like it wouln't be the best idea to start the bf/gf relationship again. but that's just me...
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Blek
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Quote:
gotcha420haha said:
The thing is, this girl drinks like crazy, has a fucked up home-life, and does alot of drugs very loosely without thinking about it. She acts like I was the only thing that ever made her happy in her life. So i am thinking about going back out with her, but it would be more so i can save her from herself, because i care bout her.
You can't "save" someone else from themself. It's up to them. My advice is to show her love and compassion. Whether you "go out" is up to you and her.
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 Simisu
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Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,123
Loc: Israeli in
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 Re: Relationship Advice... [Re: Blek]
#6422056 - 01/03/07 06:25 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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stoneage my thoughts exactly!
if you care about her be a good friend to her...
you want to be in a relationship for your self and not have to feel like "taking care" of your partner, that's not what it's about!
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     Shr mery
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 Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 16,889
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Do not go back to her, there's a reason she is your ex-girlfriend. Keep it that way.
You think she's gonna be good to you while her life problems, her family problems and her drinking problems are an issue? Get serious. You are only setting yourself for another painful experience and if you've already experienced it once, why the fuck would you want to experience it again? In the hopes that it might work out? Try again.
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Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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morphius2661
Basic Psychonaut
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Re: Relationship Advice... [Re: stoneage]
#6422071 - 01/03/07 06:31 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
stoneage said:
if i were you i wouldn't go back out with her but just be a good friend. just let her know that you are there for her and will support her whenever she needs it. sounds like it wouln't be the best idea to start the bf/gf relationship again. but that's just me...
I agree with this post. If you date again you'll probably end up hating each other. You should probably just keep it at friends and as stoneage said, let her know you're there for her if she needs help/advice/whatever. If having sex ends up interfering with your friendship, you probably shouldnt do it, as I doubt a relationship would work out. And you thinking about it just because you want to help her is the wrong reason for getting into a relationship with someone.
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"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the estabilished authorities are wrong."
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gotcha420haha
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ive thought about all this, shes going out with this real fuckin scumbag, she just wants someone to be there, she has no foundation to fall back on.
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"Sometimes I wonder, If I know where I am going. I go for a walk and it seems like I have been walking for years and years and I don't know where I'm going. I hear the sound leading me on."
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stoneage
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it's not your responsibility. you can't fix her just by being her boyfriend. and you'll probly end up getting hurt again. just try to be a good friend and show her that there is good out there.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 168,380
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck 
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Re: Relationship Advice... [Re: Simisu]
#6422088 - 01/03/07 06:37 PM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Simisu said:
if you care about her be a good friend to her...
can he be a good friend without issues of jealousy if she hooked up with someone
else? obviously his feelings are a bit deeper than for just her safety and
wellbeing. can you put your emotions aside and watch someone else recieve what you
want and could have had?
the superficial answer is "just keep bangin' her" but I think we've gotten below the surface
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there are 923 words in the english language that do not follow the "I before E"
rule, there are 44 words in the english language that follow the rule. this is
the shit our education funding is paying for and these liberals want more money
for education to keep making students stupid
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a2ndopinion
a real smart ass
Registered: 12/06/06
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Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Quote:
gotcha420haha said:
So i am thinking about going back out with her, but it would be more so i can save her from herself, because i care bout her.
let this notion go. it is romanticized in movies and such... but in reality, you cannot save another troubled soul. they have to want to save themselves.
you can, however, be there for her and offer support when needed. but do not fool yourself into believing you can save her. you're just going to end up with a broken heart again.
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Boo, you whore.
Edited by a2ndopinion (01/03/07 10:11 PM)
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Simisu
taken by gravity
Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,123
Loc: Israeli in 
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Re: Relationship Advice... [Re: Prisoner#1]
#6423837 - 01/04/07 07:17 AM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
Simisu said:
if you care about her be a good friend to her...
can he be a good friend without issues of jealousy if she hooked up with someone
else? obviously his feelings are a bit deeper than for just her safety and
wellbeing. can you put your emotions aside and watch someone else recieve what you
want and could have had?
the superficial answer is "just keep bangin' her" but I think we've gotten below the surface
i'm not sure what he can or can't do, it's ultimately up to him 
i'd still say he's better off not getting back together with her... as for me, well i wouldn't be too happy about it but at least i'd know it isn't worth it and seek what i want ales where?
--------------------
Shrmery
Visit & Support Free Spore Ring Earth
Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum
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CerebralFlower
whats left?
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Re: Relationship Advice... [Re: Simisu]
#6424078 - 01/04/07 11:55 AM (6 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Ive known this girl for about 3 years now, and we dated during the first year. She was the first girl i ever had a real relationship with and shes the first girl i ever had sex with
Similar to my experience. I dunno man. If you two love eachother theres nothing thats going to stop you two from being together. But if shes got alot of problems, shes gotta quit the drugs and alky, atleast the alky and slow drugs to a VERY moderate pace. (for insight only). She is probably likely to just make you part of her problem and use you as a scapegoat. I dont really know the girl. Just take the friendship slow, and if you two really love eachother then youll be together.
Sometimes you just have to let people go and learn from your expereince together.
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God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire
Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play
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aelephant
Stranger
Registered: 09/04/06
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Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Don't get back together with her.
1. She will cheat on you again.
2. You can't "save" someone. You may actually be able to help her more without the added drama of sex/a relationship.
3. She's dependent on you for happiness. She'll never be happy WITH you if she is dependent on you. She's got to find it herself first, then share it with you.
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As we live a life of ease,
Everyone of us has all we need
Sky of blue and Sea of Green
In our Yellow Submarine
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