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 Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
 
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 6,105
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
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 Re: An Important message about one of our Brothers. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5848843 - 07/11/06 09:40 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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First of all, I'd like to thank all of you for your kind words, love and support, & I'd like to thank Terrapin77 for posting this thread...this means more to me than I can possibly express. This community is truely amazing. One of these days I need to get my ass to a Gathering and meet all of ya'll, and thank you in person. I had given up on myself, but none of you did, and your optimism wore off on me. I have renewed hope, & renewed strength...I'm NOT letting this evil shit kill me, & I'm not wasting the rest of my life on it, fuck that.
This has been worst nightmare I've ever gone though....as well as some of the best times of my life. However, in the end, the pain outweighs the pleasure, and I can honestly say that I regret ever touching opiates & coke...esp. the opiates. It's a miracle that I made it out alive, and looking back I can see that some sort of divine intervention saved my ass many times. I can also see what a horrible person I turned into, I'm back to my old self again, albeit a strung-out old self going through a hell of a battle.
My dark side came out, but it went away again, thank god...hopefully it never resurfaces again. I can now say that I know how horrible heroin & other drugs really are. A lot of shit opened my eyes, including the loss of many friends to the system. When most of your friends, are facing 10 yrs, 20yrs in prison you start to think & take a good long look at everything.
I've been trying, unsuccessfully to clean up for over 4 months now...I don't even remember when I hit rock bottom and "decided to quit", but now I believe I have the upper hand...I have some cool shit coming up in the near future, Jerry's B-day Bash for one, and I'm starting at community college in the fall. The withdrawls are god awful, but I'm slowly coming off of the H, and I'm hoping that this is the week that I let go and never go back. I was hopeless and helpless for a while, just wanted to die, but I'm hopeful now, and I've been experiencing genuine drug-free happiness again recently, as well as flashes of feelings and shit. I had totally forgotten what that was like.
Thanks to a wonderful soul I will soon have a key that will cleanse me and give me a fresh slate, I've always self-destructed and relapsed in the past, but this time will be different I hope...I'm going to make the most of it. I'm going to be a much stronger person after this; if I can beat heroin I can do anything. It's good to be getting my life back, and that would not be possible without all the love, caring and prayers I've been getting. Thank you all so much. Much love & God bless you all,
DS
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"That was some of the sorriest shit I've ever been around." - Miles Davis on Washington, after going to an awards show thrown for Ray Charles by the Reagan administration.
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 PinballWizard
Naive and Gullible as usual
Registered: 03/20/04
Posts: 2,699
Last seen: 1 day, 2 hours
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Re: An Important message about one of our Brothers. [Re: Dark_Star]
#5848904 - 07/11/06 09:57 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Congrats.
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OneMoreRobot3021
punky jewster
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 56,833
Loc: new york shitty
Last seen: 2 days, 11 hours
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Re: An Important message about one of our Brothers. [Re: Dark_Star]
#5848910 - 07/11/06 09:59 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Best of luck to you man. 
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The Drug Policy Alliance  Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies
"The psychedelic experience - it has a tremendous force to revivify the spirit, particularly because it is not an ideology. It is not something someone 'figured out.' It is an EXPERIENCE. And this is important to bear in mind." - McKenna.
"We're not mad, we're just doing what we want. You rigid thinkers can't recognize the healthy sanity of that." - Harlan Ellison, "Crackpots"
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kosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
Registered: 03/18/01
Posts: 5,108
Loc: Deep Elem
Last seen: 10 hours, 11 minutes
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Re: An Important message about one of our Brothers. [Re: Dark_Star]
#5848926 - 07/11/06 10:03 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm very happy to hear that. Keep it up man you clearly have the strength and right outlook to do so. I can tell you're too strong of a person to let addiction destroy you.
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Goin' where the water tastes like wine.
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fireworks_god
Sexy ButtMcDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 20,564
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 12 hours, 14 minutes
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Re: An Important message about one of our Brothers. [Re: kosmic_charlie]
#5849095 - 07/11/06 10:45 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Start posting in P&S again, man! 
   
Peace.
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Meet me in outer space
We could spend the night;
watch the earth come up
I've grown tired of that place;
won't you come with me?
We could start again.
 
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Cubenisseur
Mad Props
Registered: 12/04/05
Posts: 1,391
Loc: Indian Land
Last seen: 3 months, 4 days
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Re: An Important message about one of our Brothers. [Re: fireworks_god]
#5850026 - 07/12/06 07:24 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
addiction is a bitch, slap it away
LOL, yeah that!
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"The Budha Fa is most profound; among all the theories in the world, it is the
most intricate and extraordinary science.
In order to explore this domain, humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking. Otherwise, the truth of the universe will forever remain a mystery to humankind, and everyday people will forever crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance."
-- Master Li Hongzhi, from "Lunyu,"
the introduction to Zhuan Falun
* The Buddha Fa--
the universal principles and law;
the way of the universe.
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Chazzersize
Pokemon Master
Registered: 11/30/03
Posts: 1,263
Loc: Center Of The World
Last seen: 7 days, 9 minutes
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Re: An Important message about one of our Brothers. [Re: Cubenisseur]
#5850054 - 07/12/06 07:55 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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DarkStar, I've never really been close to any one on this place...but I feel ya brother. It can be HARD...and one thing that always nicked me was the lingering thought of "well...what the fuck am I going to do now with this free time....?"
After going through one of the hardest points in my life a couple months ago, I had nothing to do. My old hobbies no longer interested me, and I was wasting away in front of the computer whilst visiting the same sites over and over.....but one thing changed it.
Sounds rather childish, but I picked up a star wars lego set while I was at walmart one day. I've always loved building these things as a kid. Aside from being amazingly nostalgic, it kept my mind occupied BIG time. I tend to over think things, so it was perfect.
I know you'll pull through. Best of wishes.
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Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars.
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Dark_Star
child ofboundless seas
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 6,105
Loc: A transitive nightfall of...
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Re: An Important message about one of our Brothers. [Re: Chazzersize]
#5852819 - 07/12/06 10:09 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thank you all so very much. fireworks_god, I definitely plan too, I've missed those discussions we used to have there...once my head has cleared up and I can really start thinking deeply and express myself well I think I'll have a lot of fresh insights to share.
Chazzersize, I'm glad to hear you're doing better...Lego's are definitely the shit man, and the new ones are so detailed, I hadn't thought of that as a hobby, but now that you mention it, it sounds fantastic! That was a great suggestion.
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"That was some of the sorriest shit I've ever been around." - Miles Davis on Washington, after going to an awards show thrown for Ray Charles by the Reagan administration.
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